Sunday, October 22, 2017
 

My Restored Marriage

Alfred & I married young. I was 2 months shy of turning 18 & he had just turned 20. We were engaged after 3 weeks of dating and married 4 months after that in June of ’92.

Being so young and naive, I had no idea what I was getting myself in to. Alfred was an alcoholic and lived the party life while I stayed home with our children – heartbroken that the man I loved didn’t seem to care about us because the alcohol came first. I threatened, nagged, questioned, and pleaded with him to stop drinking – all to no avail.

I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to give up. I even went to a divorce lawyer once for a consultation to see what my options were. But no matter how bad he hurt me emotionally, I just couldn’t do the same to him.

Then he was sent to Iraq for 14 months – they weren’t allowed to drink. We had the best conversations and I felt things would be different when he returned home. That only lasted a month, then he went right back to drinking and coming home late.

I gave up then. I was tired of being hurt. I stopped asking anything of him. Then his best friend was in a horrible car accident due to drunk driving and falling asleep at the wheel. He is lucky to be alive today. He had to spend months in the hospital & Alfred saw first hand what drinking can do.

After 13 years, he made up his mind to quit drinking once ad for all and he did!! I was still very guarded. After all, I had heard this a million times if I had heard it once. But as time went on, I began to trust him again and our love was renewed.

Now our life is so sweet! Perfect, no…..but he is home every night and I know he loves me. The drinking was never about me like I thought it was. He was running away from the problems of his childhood, trying to kill the pain. We are able to talk about things so much easier now. In June ’09 will be married 17 years.

With God, there is always hope. Give up if you have to, but don’t walk away. Let God put the broken pieces of your life & marriage back together and create something new.

Dear Annette,

I know things are hard for you right now & you want to give up on your
marriage, but God still performs miracles and there is hope yet for
your marriage.

Alfred & I married young. I was 2 months shy of turning 18 & he had
just turned 20. We were engaged after 3 weeks of dating and married 4
months after that in June of ’92.

Being so young and naive, I had no idea what I was getting myself in
to. Alfred was an alcoholic and lived the party life while I stayed
home with our children – heartbroken that the man I loved didn’t seem
to care about us because the alcohol came first. I threatened, nagged,
questioned, and pleaded with him to stop drinking – all to no avail.

I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to give up. I even went to a
divorce lawyer once for a consultation to see what my options were.
But no matter how bad he hurt me emotionally, I just couldn’t do the
same to him.

Then he was sent to Iraq for 14 months – they weren’t allowed to
drink. We had the best conversations and I felt things would be
different when he returned home. That only lasted a month, then he
went right back to drinking and coming home late.

I gave up then. I was tired of being hurt. I stopped asking anything
of him. Then his best friend was in a horrible car accident due to
drunk driving and falling asleep at the wheel. He is lucky to be alive
today. He had to spend months in the hospital & Alfred saw first hand
what drinking can do.

After 13 years, he made up his mind to quit drinking once ad for all
and he did!! I was still very guarded. After all, I had heard this a
million times if I had heard it once. But as time went on, I began to
trust him again and our love was renewed.

Now our life is so sweet! Perfect, no…..but he is home every night
and I know he loves me. The drinking was never about me like I thought
it was. He was running away from the problems of his childhood, trying
to kill the pain. We are able to talk about things so much easier now.
In June ’09 will be married 17 years.

Sorry this is so long, but I just wanted to share my story with you.
With God, there is always hope. Give up if you have to, but don’t walk
away. Let God put the broken pieces of your life & marriage back
together and create something new.

Love & prayers,

~Tracy in south AL

 

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