Dear Mothers,
Oh, lately nothing has ministered to me as much as looking out my side screen door. It's right behind me as I write. That old black screen door is maybe 50 years old at least. It's wooden and has an old screen in it on the outside and then a strong one on the inside. I imagine in the old days, the children kept breaking it out and a Daddy nailed a stronger screen on the inside. Anyway, between the screens I have placed flowers that I have dried.
Dear Mothers,
This morning I was reading in my Bible about the spies who were faithful and the ones who were fearful. I laughed out loud when the Lord spoke to my heart. "Connie, you go right up to a GIANT and ask him if it is OK if you enter his land. And he looks about 5 feet down at you and says a big NOOO and you believe him." Boy, the Holy Spirit convicted me of my sins of unbelief this morning. Ya know the devil just wants to keep us mothers in a tither over our families.
I have such a writing in my heart about courage and moxie. At the library I got this old book written in the late 1800's. It was about the founding of America. And in the beginning after the Pilgrims first came, there was always a shortage of wives for the men who wanted to go to the new land. The men wanted to build homes and have children and get established. But many of the women died under such hard conditions. They had come from an established country, where home and extended family was near them, to a strange wilderness.
The gas heat just went on, so I heard it in my bed and got up to enjoy it. A lot of times, when it is so cold I don't want to get out of my nice warm bed ... well, I hate to turn the kerosene burner on and waste all the oil in the middle of the night, when I could just as well stay in bed and let wild man keep me warm. But, anyway, the heat went on accidentally and I am up and writing. Yee haw, heat!
Well, I am up a bit early this morning. To get a good writing, I should have been up about an hour ago.
I am up and about, getting ready for the day with Baby Rose. Yesterday we were to have her but David didn't have to work, so I didn't have her, after all.
Jim and I went to the garden shop and I found some feverfew. That is an herb and, if you have a headache, it is supposed to help you. You are supposed to chew the leaves. When I had it before, I chewed the leaves in with some spearmint gum. It is a perennial and looks like daises. I hope to get a good patch of it goin' in my herb garden.
Dear Mothers,
Ya know what? If I was to tell you the most important thing I wanted from the Lord? It wouldn't be faith or more patience or visions. Although I could use more of all of the above. No. The thing I would ask for -- have been asking for a lot lately -- is courage.
I wrote this evening some pretty bad stuff on paper. "My life is over, Lord. I am alone, Lord. My children are grown."
The Lord spoke, "Connie, build a home in a barren land. You did it once before ... remember?"
