Oh, mercy! I have wanted some high top black Converse tennis shoes to wear with long cotton skirts for this winter. Christian Joy called me yesterday and told me she had bought me some and was bringing them with her when they come for Thanksgiving. I said, "Oh, you found some." Chrissy says, "Mom, New Yorkers wear these shoes with everything. You can buy them about anywhere in NYC." Well, I can't wait to get mine. I don't shop. And if I can't find them at the Salvation Army, then in my world no one sells 'em.
I am so glad Sissy Joy is bringin' me some high tops. PTL. My 84-year-old mother will have a fit. And as soon as she can, she will go out and buy me a pair of white tennis shoes that everyone wore in the 60s. Mom is still trying to guide me in my styles.
My aunt Lucille used to have such a fit over me. If all the relatives were gathered at a holiday meal, someone would say, "Connie, I love your outfit." I would turn around and say, "Got it for 25 cents at the close out sale at the Salvation Army." Oh, my aunt Lucille would just about faint. She would tell me in a whisper, "Connie, you don't have to tell everyone what something costs." She would tell me that I should just let people think I am well to do. But I always said that I wanted folks to know that whatever I had was attainable to anyone else.
When Christian Joy first went to NYC, she was a waitress for a while and made a lot of money in tips. But later on she decided to get into fashion. She would go to the Salvation Army and buy prom dresses and make other dresses out of them and sell them for a lot of money. One prom dress she made over, she wrote all of her old boyfriends names on the dress with magic marker. Someone bought it and paid a lot for the privilege. Anything original is what New Yorkers want.
I pray that Danny stays a long ways from NYC as he is so good looking. Christian Joy says the girls are just wild for him. He has moved to Portland but is real homesick. I see on the callers ID that he called last night after I was in bed. I will call him later on this morning. He had planned to come home for Christmas but knows all the kids will be here for Thanksgiving. I know his hungry heart longs to see his family. He could stay here but he says, "If I lived with you, Mom, you would make me be in by 8:00 every night." Sounds good to me! Chrissy said Dan called her when he got to Oregon and told her he missed her and Jason. He was hiding in the bathroom to call her. He was talkin' all sweet and one of the band members came in the bathroom to get something and Dan started talkin' smack right away. Chrissy and I laughed over that.
Christian and her husband Jason will stay here over Thanksgiving. I adore Jason. He is like an angel from heaven for Christian Joy. He is the answer to every mother's prayers. The last time they were here, he went upstairs and read as many of my Christian books as he could get ahold of. Like I said, Christian Joy accidentally married a Christian. Tell me God don't answer prayers? Chrissy had bought the book I wrote but was afraid to read it. I don't know if she ever read it. But Jason did and liked it. But everyone always said "Christian Joy will have to get outta NYC in order to find a good man and get married." But ya know Jesus has a good sense of humor.
Both Christian and Jason are very much back to the land people. It wouldn't surprise me a bit if they didn't move to the wilderness some day. Joy and I have talked about it. Moving to a place and building a cabin where there is no roads or electricity. Jason would be game for that. I had a vision years ago of Joy standing by a wood stove in a cabin in the wilderness. She had long hair again like she did when she was 18. Oh, what a beauty she was! She was a model and on a local TV show. It was decent! From then on, I wanted to put sacks on my children's heads so no one would see them.
Mama's Nest
Oh, how we long to hold our babies close and never let them go. And, oh mercy! I am a mother of six children. I always said, "I had six only children." Each of them was like an only child. Each one so complex and different. Jimmy an artist and has such thirst to learn and have degrees. He is a light designer by trade and still loves to take evening courses and get more degrees. His wife Aleks is studying to be a college English professor. Heck, I can't even spell professor. But what does it matter? Then my little pixie, Christian Joy, who has made a name for herself in NYC. A designer, of course -- what else, huh? Johnny is my inventor and artist and musician. Johnny is the type of kid that everyone says is like a late bloomer. We all sense something of greatness in him but we can't put our finger on it. My dad had this gift, too, and was an inventor. Dad could always see his gift in Johnny. His wife and helper, Christine, sharpens Johnny and organizes his creative mind. David is a thinker and an artist. His drawings are so detailed and have such a message. David is so in love with his family. Danny is a weeping prophet. He will be a preacher someday. He has a strong call of God upon him. He always has had it, even from a child. He is very anointed of God.
And then there is Mary. "Oh, Mary, what will God do with you?" Little bird with two broken wings. Daddy died on one wing of your heart and your own baby died on the other wing. You soak up all of my love. Mother is like the Good Shepherd. While the ninety-nine sheep are all well, Mother seeks the dark forest for the lost lamb. She hears her cry in the night. Can Mother close her ears to her baby's cry? Yes, I am thankful for all of my children, but I long so for Mary to be OK. I have to trust the true Shepherd that knows where Mary is. I have looked in the dark forest but I can't find her. But God knows where she is. He knows. I don't know.
Mary Lehman, the other day, was telling me that I had worried so about John when he was gone, on and off, for seven years. That boy drove me almost nuts. But one day as John was walking around Chicago, a Christian man came up to him and asked him if he knew the Lord. And John rededicated his life to Christ. Then John told a friend about the Lord. And this friend had a demon and it attacked John. And this guy took a broken bottle and almost cut John's ear off. It had to be sewn back on. John did come back home and reunited with Jim and I. Then he married Christine. John is such a blessing now. And I know I have to trust in the Lord for Mary.
John and Mary are a lot alike -- both dreamers and visionaries! But all of our children are individuals and, yes, they will be like us as mothers and as their daddies, too. But they have a part, too, that they have to be themselves. As mothers, we have to let them go and they will fly way above us and our teachings. They have to, as the world will not give them the breaks we have had.
Lord Jesus, help me to let Mary go.
Love,
Connie
