Emily wrote a few emails that contained memories of her childhood and her mother, Dixie. Connie forwarded them to Virtuous Sisters and we are placing them here for your enjoyment.
February 11, 2006
Hi. Thought I'd write a bit more. Thanks for the confirmation on the writings.
I've been thinking a lot lately on how the devil likes to make life so tiring that we forget how strong we are. We are women of Sarah, and need to remember that in the worst times.
My mother went for the longest time with the lump in her breast, knowing the Lord would see her through. She was hit with that, a divorce, a daughter who she encouraged to move on with her life and helped get an apartment -- she could have given up then, but she trusted in the Lord sooo much that it was amazing. Even in the hospital, before she went into a coma (thanks to the hospital), she said the Lord had told her some answers.
We like to think we know what's best in our lives, but everything is for a purpose, but the thing is to not forget who we are in Christ and how strong we are through Him. I've been reminded lately on what and who I have in me. I wasn't raised to feel sorry for myself. Do I like some things that have happened? No. However, insead of doing what I have been, I'm not going to let the devil have control over my mind and spirit.
My mother had every reason of man to give up on life, but she knew the Lord's hand was over her and she trusted him. She knew the world would always let you down, but Jesus never, ever will. Even in death, the Lord was in control, not the devil. Her death was very spiritual, with Jesus himself coming to get her with all of His glory, her room was so full that I couldn't hardly hold my head up. Her room was a purple color and was a reward for all of her dedication to her Lord. She gave all of herself to Him and His will.
She was the last person who ever thought of material items. She would give the shirt off her back if you needed it. She would always do without so she could make sure my dad and I had what we needed. She apologized once for not doing enough stuff with me -- you know, kid stuff -- and all I could do at first was look at her dumbfounded. I told her that she had went above being a mother, that she was my best friend, confidant, and role model.
I've realized with having a daughter myself, she was very concerned with what I put in my spirit as far as TV, music, and even who I played with. And she never apologized for protecting it. I remember I had this one friend from school -- I was about 7 or 8 -- and there was a birthday party and when my mother found out that they planned on playing Michael Jackson music, she said I couldn't go and didn't apologize for how she felt. She didn't care what that mother thought, she was looking out for her daughter's spirit. I didn't quite understand at the time, but it also didn't really bother me.
Some people could say I was a dork. I liked my parents. The whole "I was hatched from an egg" idea kids have -- it never crossed my mind I should feel that way. It also helped that she homeschooled me when I was in the 6th grade. That was another trusting the Lord experience. That was back in the 80's when it was pretty new. Anyway, my school superintendent said to my mother that if I wasn't up to take the basic skills test in March, that he would have her put in prision. Well, time came and went, and the Lord told her not to have me go up. She listened and because of listening, nothing ever became of his threats.
I really enjoy this. It helps me and I really pray the Lord uses it to bless. I'll talk soon.
Love,
Emily
[Another writing from Em and I think the most powerful. Wow, this is good. Love, Connie]
February 12, 2006
Hello. This really does help. I hope you don't mind. I remember so much that I have thought of a book, because it was like I lived my own Little House On the Prairie.
My mother was afraid of nothing and, if she was, she always put her trust in the Lord. Some people might say it was she wasn't concerned, but it was she knew He was in control. I remember her facing rats armed with nothing but a dog named Cocoa, a shovel, and her faith in God. We hadn't ever had them before, but after our old barn went down, so did a lot of the covering, and some rats showed up and not little ones -- we are talking size of a cat. And my mother rebuked them and, armed with the Lord, took out every single one.
My mother believed in coverings so much that she always wore a scarf over her head, grew weeds so the spirits couldn't come on the farm. Everything had a spirit, she'd say, right down to her taking what groceries she did buy, she'd take them out of the packaging. Cereal, flour, anything -- she didn't want it in her cupboards. She didn't hardly buy anything because she grew, canned, froze everything that was able to do so. I like to say growing up, I didn't have "cool food" -- you know, rabbits on cereal boxes, junk food wrappers, but I had what mattered, quality food made from love.
She canned at least 800 jars of food a year. Her gardens were huge, and she loved it all. I remember one year the devil tried her knee and she couldn't hardly move and it was right in the middle of harvest season, but instead of giving up and giving in to her flesh, she kept going doing what she needed to do. The Lord healed her completly without going to any human doctor.
Jesus was her doctor then and he continued to be, even through her cancer. She was to the point, when she lived with me at the end, that she couldn't hardly walk. Imagine a woman who was so strong and independent not being able to hardly move. However, she was still determined to be that way. She'd go to the kitchen herself, would take a long time, but she was determined to be herself, depending on the Lord. He never failed her.
My aunt and her had back surgury at the same time many years ago and were both in pain, but when my mother came to the Lord, she asked him to remove the pain and He did, and through the years she kept busy while my aunt laid on the sofa. To this day, my aunt has bad pain and my mother never dealt with it again.
Thanks for listening and I'll talk soon.
February 13, 2006
More of Mom and the Farm
Hello,
Thanks for the confirmation on the writings.
I was thinking today on how much I really did live "Little House" and how much my mother was like Ma Ingalls. She would take anything that grew,and do something with it. I remember her planting her huge gardens, and at the end of the season she'd pull up the tomato plants, bring in the remaining green tomatoes and, when red, would can them. We had blackberry trees, rhubarb, apple, pear trees, and she'd do something with it all. I remember helping her pick green beans, checking the corn and all the other veggies and loving it! While all the other girls were getting into trouble, I was helping her and enjoying it. My favorite thing was to check the cucumbers because you had to really search -- it was like treasure hunting!
I was very blessed to be able to have a pony named Princess, her best friend a collie/German shepherd mix dog named Lady, and no less than 25 cats at a time. My father wasn't a cat man but ever since Cinder the cat, he couldn't ever say no. See, the thing with that is, when I was about 5 we owned some apartments in Marion and my dad had a "No Pets" rule. Well, being an only child, I have to admit having my dad around my little finger and, with that in mind, I had found a kitty and begged my dad to keep it. Let's just say that from then on, his tenents joked with him about his daughter having a kitty with him having that rule.
Both of my parents were amazing. I couldn't have asked for better if I had picked them myself. My mother was my role model because she had been through a lot before she got saved, and when the Lord came into her life, her wonderful qualities she already had, He used for His will. She wasn't perfect, she'd let you know first hand, but she did let the Lord use her no matter if she understood or not. She would give very unselfishly. I mean I remember once, she knew this family didn't have a dresser and when my dad came home from driving the semi, his dresser was gone! I mean she made sure he had a place for his clothes, but that was who she was. If you said that you liked or needed something, she'd somehow give it to you. I also remember once, her giving a pair of my dad's jeans to a homeless man at a shelter, and the next time she seen him, he told her how he got delivered from drugs and was going to work and got his life staightened out. That's just a part of what it was like being her daughter.
Some could say I was sheltered, but I say I was protected. She nurtured not only my physical needs, but my spiritual ones as well.
I cannot wait to see her again, but for now, the best that I can do to honor her, and keep her alive is to share her life. She made a difference in all who knew her. Now maybe it's time to share all she said. There is so much that I've been remembering just by sharing, so I thank you for that.
I'll talk soon.
Love,
Emily
