Dear Wives,
Last week I got so mad at Jim. I wanted my way and he wanted his way. And then he got into a black mood and then I got into a blacker one. Well, Papa is out in the world all day and Mama is at home prayin'. We see things in different lights. My sin is always that I think that Jim should feel like I do about things. He often thinks that I am not respecting him as a man and not honoring him as my husband ... the bread winner ... the head of the house.
Jim is very territorial which is a good trait in a man. They like being the head of the house ... and they know everything that is going on in the house from top to bottom. That's Jim. When Mama gets outside that boundary line -- and especially when Papa is sick with his sinus problems -- things go boom. When Papa's mood is black, it begins to change to gray when he looks at Mama and sees that her mood is changing to black, blacker, and then to fire engine black.
The Lord spoke to my heart, finally, as I wrestled in prayer with the whole thing. And then I went to the grocery store. As I entered the door, the Lord spoke to my heart, "Connie, blessed are the poor in spirit. Be pitiful. Be courteous. Connie, you are more spiritual than your Jim. Forget your own hurts and love Jim and minister to him." Something really broke within me, and I saw this whole picture as the Lord saw it. God is not interested in who is right. He looks at our hearts and our desire to please Him.
I pleased the Lord when I forgave ... when I took the lower seat ... when I humbled myself before the Lord and to my husband. It's not who is righteously correct ... it's who is the most humble before God. As I forgave Jim, I could ask God to forgive me for my vanity and pride. That stiff unholy flesh that needs to be right will be the death of us women if we don't watch out.
I really think these are the years of the women. Man alive! Women are just worshipped these days. They seemingly can't do anything wrong. Women can stay home and do nothing to build up the home ... just sit there and be pretty ... and the world would tell her that this is her right. Let a man try that for a while, and he is called a snake. All of this deception lives around us Christian wives and mothers, and we need to be very careful of it. We are fast losing our places in our homes. If we don't get to work and show our husbands that we are making a difference in the quality of the home by staying home, then they won't want to support us.
A wife at home has a definite advantage over her husband in spiritual things. Her husband is really, in a way, sacrificing part of his spiritual life to go out and work for his family. Well, not really, but in a way. I mean, I am here and very able to grow spiritually. Every day I write in the mornings, and my spiritual life has grown a lot as I have been faithful to keep writing. I have noticed that I am so much more clear and have so much more discernment than I used to have. So when Jim starts to match wits with me, I'm liable to blow him into the next state with just a look.
And I know that some of you ladies know what I mean. Trouble is, I am not the head of the house, and God doesn't think I am just because I am more spiritual. This whole thing is like me bragging that I have a winter coat to wear in the cold and he doesn't, when he was the one who bought me the coat.
While the world may tell us that we can do anything, we better not try that in front of the old man. Pride comes before a fall. In the world, the woman is told to square her shoulders and stick her chest out and do what she wants, regardless of what her husband says. Satan is just pulling these women into slavery. No one can just do as they please -- I don't care who they are.
I think in Christendom, the biggest sin that women are committing is the sin of pride and unforgiveness. We have to walk in love and forgiveness. It doesn't matter who is right. God's servant among us is the one who will humble herself and be the peace maker.
Just lately, I faced all of this with my own mother. Dad is still in the hospital. Of course, I am ranting and raving about the medical help he is not getting. Mother, on the other hand, trusts in doctors. Mom called me two nights ago and said the doctor said that Dad could die any minute. My response was, "Mom, why do you believe that stuff?" I was ashamed of myself after I said that. I couldn't sleep that night hardly at all. I had drawn my sword of righteousness again and nearly killed someone who didn't understand where I was coming from at all. Mom was hurt and didn't understand that I was laboring in prayer for Dad's life. I may have been scripturally right ... but where was my humility and respect to my mother who was losing her mate of 59 years?
I told God that I was sorry ... so sorry. When I got to the hospital, I soothed my mother. I said, "Mom, I understand. You believe the doctors are right, and I will just agree with you." See, I have to be at peace with my mother, or Dad could never be healed.
We have to walk in forgiveness and love and peace with those around us. We must go to the level of faith of the weakest one. I came into agreement with Mom that the doctors were doing right with Dad. And if God can use an ass, he can use a doctor. Mom is from the old school, where the doctors were gods and if they kill you ... well. they couldn't help it. As I agree with Mom that the doctors will do what is right, this helps me, in my faith, to walk in peace and know that God can still do a miracle.
But I am not going to get a miracle by walking up and over my mother's head. We must be patient with those around us, and see their point, and encourage them where they are at. If they have a little faith and it is in a doctor, then it is faith, even if it is misdirected. Maybe God will use my mother's faith in her doctors. I'm not going to kill her faith because it isn't like mine.
I said all of this to say that we need to understand that some of us are given more discernment than others. But, as women, we don't have the authority to take spiritual authority over a man. We need to drop back out of sight and pray our prayers to the Man in authority over every demon and every man ... and His name is Jesus Christ. We must be quiet and submissive and loving to those who are poor in spirit. Whether that means your husband or your own folks.
Be glad that you understand the Lord because you have had the time to spend with Him and know His heart. But many don't understand Him. We must show the world who He is by our good works. I mean, we need to tell the truth and plant the seeds, but we can't make seeds grow. We must drop back and leave the seeds hidden.
Love,
Connie
