Sunday, December 17, 2017

Walking in the Spirit

Pt 3 A Mountain Mother by Connie in 2002

Rubie is powerful as she lives out of the inner court.. She has fasted this world and their opinions ..she has done this by willingly taking on submittion to her husband.. She has walked willingly over to the cart and has hitched her own self up and has put blinders on her own eyes..This is true submittion ..Walking in a worldy fear of your husband is not …of God..Infact its dangerous to walk in any kind of fear..True submittion is for a woman to willingly decide to follow God and His word..She casts down her own flesh and bridles it herself..She is a woman of integrity..and strength and virtue.. She lets go of this world and submits to her husband ..and then the gifts of the spirit begin to flow like a river..She then has the freedom to cook and sew and bake her own bread…She becomes joyous in her homemaking..The gifts of inventions begin to flow..if her money has offended her then she casts it out.. if money has stopped her from flowing in her baking then she casts it out.. Maybe housewives you could tell your husbands that you want less money for groceries.. If money gets in your way and makes you too lazy to make your own bread then cast it out..The mothers of the old times were happy because they had work to do and the family depended on them ..Maybe we as mothers today need to create our own lack…We hear so much about fasting and not eating ..And yet we are so gutted with material things .so much more wicked than food… We need to fast the material things and the things of this world.and worldly opinions ..We are drowning in sea of food and money and “things”.We need to cast down this cloud over our heads of the many voices of this world..And turn to the wisdom of God…ConnieJ says often in her writings that she can hear her mothers voice so strongly at times..and her mothers voice condemns her and leaves her feeling helpless and forsaken..Well i know how she feels as i have faced this torment too as a young mom..Many of us have with the inflow of the feminist spirit.. This voice just cuts us to the quick .It is Jezabels voice…And yet the Lord tells us to listen to wisdoms voice in His word in Proverbs..But we think Well doesnt that prove i am nuts if i go around seeing an old fashioned lady who instructs me as a helper to God.?.Jezabel makes fun of us and we think nothing of it? But God sends us wisdom as the virtuous woman and we cast her out? Do we think we are in deception when we see in our minds eye Jezabel? I mean she trys to just come in and live at our house..and we let
her..But when wisdom comes we wonder about that and think it is strange..Jezabel is the strange woman ,,not wisdom….We have learned to accept the person of jezabel…We get so worried about looking ok to the world in all that we do..We worry about our reputation and are we a good testimony to others..Well Jesus never was a good testimony to the people who didnt love God.. Solomon ask God for wisdom and God gave it to him..Ya know why ? Because he wanted it above his reputation? And above the life of his enemies..He refused to hold unforgiveness in his heart ..he gave it up in order to receive wisdom..And he could care less what folks thought of him…And he became a great man because of wisdom..he built his temple with wisdom..and this is how we are to build our homes ..” with wisdom” With wisdom a house is built ..In the end Solomon became very rich materially..But he didnt put riches first..Wisdom came first..Love ConnieH

Pt. 2

Well God was faithful and my wild man came to the Lord..He had come to the Lord about  3 months before he got out for the last 3 and a half yr sentence.,i didnt know that he had really come to the Lord..But he just kept recommiting his life to the Lord,…over and over again..Keeping up with him as i write this is as hard as keeping up with him as always..when he was alive..But yes he was a hard act to follow.,,And lately with times so hard as they are.i  am so glad to be able to give others hope..Honest hope..after living thru many impossible situations myself..i can tell Randy that i know the Lord  is healing him as he has inopperable cancer,,i believe the Lord ..i am not a new comer as i approach Randy with this hope…My  hope is real…i some how paid the price..i didnt give up..i am so comforted also ladies as i get so many emails  from ladies who tell me..”Connie your writings have changed my life..thank you for your faithfulness…” See i wasnt just waiting on Jim to change..but God was waiting on me to change,,”Wud i believe HIm that nothing was impossible with God”?? God saw you girls ,,,some  of you..He made me who i was in order to influence you for Jesus..So i wasnt just standing in order to save my own hide…but to be an influence ..Thats why it was so hard.Oooh i see now..i didnt know this 40 yrs ago.i  only looked at what i cud see..But this is why some of you suffer so much,.God is working a plan that you cannot connie

Healing Testimonies

Dear Mothers,

A new lady on the letters group was telling me that she was believing the Lord for her husband’s hernia situation. I have testified of Jim’s hernia healing years ago but I am gonna tell it again.

About 3 or 4 years ago, after the fire, Jim did a lot of remodeling. And he moved a lot of heavy furniture by himself. The boys, of course, came over and helped, too. But Jim would get impatient and moved the piano by himself many times. Also my big hutch back and forth and across the room a lot. Well, back about 24 years ago, a doctor said Jim needed a double hernia operation. Well, Jim had this done at the hospital. But the doctor said the operation didn’t go well and it would probably all come loose and it did about 10 years later. Jim wore a man’s girdle and this would press the muscles in where they should be. But with him moving the piano and all, no girdle could keep that muscle in.

Well, so one night, Jim comes to bed and he said seriously, “Connie, I am really hurting. That hernia on my right side is bad — really bad.” Papa always called me Honey. So when he called me Connie, I knew it was serious. Well, immediately I knew something had to be done. Well, we didn’t have any money for a doctor. So I said, “Baby, I will stay up all night long and pray for you. I won’t got to bed until I know you are healed.” I had planned on wrestlin’ that demon of sickness all night long if that’s what it took. So we said our “Good-Nights” and I laid my hand on the hernia and started to pray. And immediately — I mean right now! — Jim’s leg flew in the air and the bed began to shake. It was wild! And I said to Jim, “What happened?” And he said, “You didn’t hear that POP?” I said “No” and Jim says, “I was healed. Jesus healed me. The hernia popped back in.” And after that, he was perfectly healed and never had to wear the girdle or anything again. He never had any trouble out of either hernia. And in the night, I woke up and praised the Lord for the healing again and the bed shook again. Now this was the power of the Holy Ghost. I can’t heal anyone. And why some folks get healed like that and others have to have an operation, I don’t know. I am just tellin’ you this true story to encourage your faith.

And one time, Jim came in the door with a bad headache. I heard him come in and met him in the living room. He told me, “Connie, I have a terrible headache.” Well, I called fire down out of heaven and Jim felt a shock and he was healed. As I gave the testimony to my relatives, who don’t know the Lord from a raccoon, Mary comes up behind me. She says, “Mom was prayin’ for Dad in the living room and the power of God almost knocked me over and I was in the bathroom.” I didn’t even know that Mary felt the Holy Ghost hit her until I was giving the testimony. And I turned around to Mary and I said, “You felt the power of God hit you in the bathroom?” And she said, “Yes, I did.”

My children have seen angels. When John was a child, about 4, an angel picked him up and put him in his bed. Mary has seen many angels before. And, of course, Jim has, too, and a lot of demons. But Jim is seein’ all kinds of angels now in heaven. Wow, I know he is enjoyin’ himself. I can’t wait to go, too.

Also, one time when I was about 23 and Jim was about 29, he had a big yellow boil under his eyelid. It was bad and the doctor was going to lance it. I was just learning about laying hands on the sick that they would be healed. Wild Man and me were playin’ badminton in the backyard. Anyway, I just went over to him and laid my badminton racket on his eye and claimed healing. I was just tryin’ it all out. And the boil popped and he was healed and he never had any more boils that I can remember.

But I pray for folks all the time. Most of my prayers are not answered. But every now and again, I hit the jackpot. So I guess I am worth putting up with. I don’t ever know when the Holy Ghost is gonna hit me.

The Waymakers

I talked to Christian Joy on the phone yesterday. She is something else! She is really encouraging me to make a homemade book. Christian Joy doesn’t claim to know the Lord but she is very creative. She designs clothes in NYC. She is the most creative woman I know. And her mind is so spiritual. She just squeezes creativity out of me. She tells me rare truths like, “Mom make a book you would love to read, not one you think others would like to read.” I guess I gave her a book I made years ago. I have forgotten it, though, but she loves it and it has dried herbs pressed in it. I can sorta see her dream for me but I can’t hardly grasp it. She says, “Mom, just make the book and I will take it to a publisher here in NYC. Don’t worry about binding it. Just make the pages and I will do the rest.” It’s hard as Jim has only been gone for 7 months. But I ain’t gettin’ any younger. What with doin’ all that Jim did, and all that I have to do with the children I care for and all, it’s kinda hard to think of a project like this.

I tell Christian by faith and to all who will listen, “I am a rich widow and I am gonna start a REVOLUTION.” Tall words for such a little woman. But I have a BIG GOD. And IF this is His will, then, hey, who’s big enough to stop God? Christian Joy tells me, “Mom, you would be popular in an underground society.” And I said, “Well, I would be there with good company as that is where homeschool started — it never started in the church!” And certainly Jesus Christ and His disciples were not mainstream. But what we hear in our silent prayer chambers from God will be shouted from the mountaintops.

He speaks to you women in the wilderness. Mother’s broken heart is open and He is able to enter her soul. She is always hungry for the things of God as she is always spiritually hungry. The bread of this world doesn’t satisfy her soul. She is a seeker, a visionary. Calling on the fire from heaven as she has no place else to go. Mother lives in the wilderness outside the church gates. She runs from the world, tired and breathless, looking for His face. Calling upon His rich anointing. Because nothing less then the fire will do. Nothing less then the anointing will work. Nothing less then the unseen hand can move her. She drinks from the rivers of heaven. From the brooks that never run dry. When she isn’t at the river, she dreams of the river. She tries to drink of the world’s rivers and oceans. And the water satisfies for a season. And each day, the thirst for His water of Life becomes a calling and a crying in her Soul. And through her exhaustion, she is weak yet runs to the River of Life to be filled with His anointing.

I hear many Mothers like Elisabeth and Mary crying in the wilderness. Mothers who have found out that this world has nothing to offer. And unless we call to God out of the mainstream, we cannot hear His true voice. As we press the outside walls of the world and all of its foolishness, we can hear His voice. As we stand alone to hear a voice and a message that has not been heard before, we will see His glory. As we press on as the world tells us, “You must absolutely STOP!” we will see His glory. As the devil tries to kill our HOPE as Mothers — but we won’t stop believin’ — this is where the glory is. This is where the glory starts.

As we fall off the earth with our faith, we enter the Kingdom of God were all things are possible. This is where the laws of sin and death don’t apply. This is His Kingdom where the laws of sin and death have been broken. We are sons and daughters of God here. This is where we died with Him and rose again to walk in newness of life. For we are crucified with Christ; nevertheless we live. And the life we now live, we live by the faith of the Son of God who loved us and gave His life for us. Sin and death, action and reaction, cause and effect live on earth. Not in His Kingdom.

Waymakers & Pioneer Spirits

Trailblazers don’t press on locked doors because they want to open it for the other believers. They don’t forge through a dark, dangerous forest of trees because they want to guide the body of believers. They press on to unknown territory because they can’t help it. Their souls are so weak and hungry, they know this world is not the answer. So they kick doors down to look for something to eat. They throw up their hands and know in their hearts that no matter what happens, this world has no food for their exhausted hearts. The Lord tells the shepherd, “If you love me, feed my sheep.” Well, the shepherd must find the spiritual food first. And as the heart hungry look for their Savior, it is automatic that they will guide and feed His sheep.

The waymakers don’t look behind them as they run like gazelles up the mountain. They run out of desperation. They run out of a need to see their children know Him. They run out of love for the family. They must see His glory or die tryin’. They run like chariots of fire until they feel His anointing. Until they feel the spark out of heaven and they know that they know that God heard them. They won’t rest until His glory comes.

The pioneer spirits run and seek and knock and hammer at the door of deliverance as if wild hungry wolves are nipping at their heels. Not because they want to please God, necessarily. But because they are desperate and they have been delivered before and they want some more deliverance.

The waymakers live on the miracles of God. As they press to the end of the natural earth and its way of sin and death, cause and effect, they enter the supernatural. And in this kingdom of the supernatural, the laws of sin and death are broken. And signs and wonders are the norm. And, yes, we have to use up the answers here on earth first. But when the world is killin’ us, it’s time to check out and enter the kingdom of Light.

We start living in the Kingdom of God when we become born again. But we have to press on the blessings of heaven or hammer at the door to enter the supernatural. And ya ain’t gonna find the supernatural until you are hungry for it. Why leave the comfort of the natural if you don’t need to? But some of you will press on as Mothers and Wives because your hearts are broken and you are looking for a city whose builder and maker is God. Where the normal is the supernatural. Where your thirst is satisfied. Where the only answer is the Blood of Jesus and the Bread of Life.


Gettin’ Real

I have been prayin’ this morning, askin’ the Lord what to write. “Gettin’ Real” keeps comin’ up. And I just laughed right now and said, “How real are we talkin’, Lord?” I am thinkin’ “I think Annie just came out from under the bed and I don’t want to send her back.” So. Well, what do I mean by gettin’ real? I am talkin’ about in prayer. The Lord has given me a lot to write about on prayer lately. I don’t want to go to another subject before I have said all I needed to say on this.

Ya know, God spoke to Moses through a burning bush. Now, if one of us happened to be out in the yard hoeing our garden and a bush started to talk to us, what would our first reaction be? “I wonder if I should tell my pastor? Let me see … I wonder if this is scriptural?” I mean, Moses had never talked to a bush before. But it’s a good thing he didn’t stand and wonder about it. How many of us would go get the water hose and try to put the burning bush out? And how many supernatural things happened only once in the Bible? Like the virgin birth or the parting of the Red Sea? If the Children of God had stood and talked it over, if it was scriptural or not, for a Sea to part then they wouldn’t have made it.

How many times do we pray and seek God and God tells us of a miracle for our family and we come off our knees and the devil gets us to deny it? A lot of the reason we miss God is because we won’t count what He said as true. He gives us a big revelation or vision of all of our children coming to the Lord. Then we tell the revelation to someone and they say, “Welllllll. YESSSSSS. But we all have a free will. We can’t make them come to the Lord. We have to put Jesus first.” Then they tell ya a big story about how this Christian mother had 10 children and she prayed for them and they all became ax murderers when they grew up. And then you don’t want your friend to think you are naive so you agree with her against what God had just told you. The next day in prayer, you say to God, “You must hate me to put me through this torment of having ornery kids.” And God had just told you that He was saving all of them. Jesus must think we Mothers are spiritually deaf or something.

Then there is Noah who is out building a ship on dry land for about, what, 120 years? I mean this guy had no friends, as everyone thought he had toys in his attic. His family loved him but no one else did. I am sure folks called him a religious fanatic, etc.

Oh, you girls would have laughed your heads off if you had followed me around in the 1970s when I was believin’ for Jim. The Baptist ladies came over and I said, “Wow, God just spoke to me that Jim was going to be healed and that God was going to use him for the glory of God.” I said, “It was so real and true, it seemed like I had just heard it on the radio.” Oh, those girls howled with laughter. I mean, Wild Man was at his worst and here I am standing there telling everyone that Jim was gonna be something for Jesus. And every time Jim left me and came back, I told everyone that he had been healed, saved, and delivered. I would stand up and announce it and folks would laugh and laugh. Well, God had told me that Jim would be saved, so I was saying what God said.

Then after I would tell all that, I would end up pregnant and then Jim would leave. Then I would end up at a family function, alone and pregnant, after I had announced all was well. I was always tellin’ everyone that Jim was gonna be a miracle. And they all said, “You’re the miracle.” And the men at church would say to me, “Well, Jim needs to figure out what he wants.” I would get really mad at anything they said against Jim. He was gonna be my miracle husband, one dang way or the the other.

Well, in prayer, God had told me that Jim would be saved, and I believed it over what the world said. I was never popular with the world but I became the apple of my husband’s eye.

Bein’ Real

My dad got so mad at Jim that he threatened to shoot him with a gun. Everybody with a lick of sense wanted to kill Jim.

The police couldn’t find him, ever. If I didn’t turn him in at times, then the cops could never catch him. I made the detective laugh and, in court, I had the judge and lawyer laughing. I told funny stories and tap danced (not literally) in court and, especially when Wild Man was too busy(?) to come to court, I went in his place. It didn’t work but I did it, anyway.

And ya know what? When Jim died, he had finished his course. I had claimed God’s Word that He would give me double blessing for all I had suffered. And God gave me extra. I had 26 years of happiness with Jim after 12 years of hell. God wouldn’t have let that wildcat go until he had blessed me with a double blessing. Satan didn’t take my husband. God did — and right on time. God’s time! And I am completely at peace concerning that. Had I not prayed for Jim and believed God for a miracle, I wouldn’t have had a marriage at all. See, we had the first few years together where we were half way OK. Then we had 12 years of hell. Then we had 26 years of blessings. We would be married for 40 years this October.

But, see, you will never do anything for God if you won’t take what he says in the prayer as true. If you plan to turn your household around, you have to take directions from God. If you are praying for an unbelieving husband, then you will get one when it is settled between you and God as the truth.

I say in my heart, “Brandon and Mary are delivered.” I plant that in my heart. And it becomes a reality on the earth because I am on the earth and His word lives in me. And I am going to carry that Word and Seed of Faith. I am not going to abort this seed with caring about what others think or say. I am not guided by the flesh in me or on anyone else. I am guided by the voice and the anointing of the Holy Spirit. I am going to keep this Word of faith in my heart and bring it to the birth of a miracle. How long will I carry the seed of faith? Until it is born and Mary and Brandon walk out the anointing of God. We do what it takes to see His Glory, and we don’t stop until we see the answer.

With our faith, we create a frame and God fills it with the supernatural. We as Mothers are not supernatural. God is the only One Who can perform a miracle. But as Marys, we carry the seed of faith and give it birth. We hide the seed in our heart and we protect it and pray over it to be safe.

Fear will abort the seed of faith. The Word says, “Fear thou not for I am with thee. Be not afraid for I am thy God. I will strengthen thee. I will help thee and I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” This is how we Marys and Hannahs produce the seed of truth into the earth. We as mothers don’t lift ourselves up and preach the gospel. We take the lowly seat and we produce righteous seeds in the physical through the physical womb and also through the spiritual womb.

And this is how St. Augustine and some of the great men of God became who they were, is by the prayers of their holy mothers. Not Mothers who were popular in the world. But through Mothers who would walk by faith. Ones who spent hours in prayer and fasting. Mothers who got visions from God and walked in them. Mothers who would wrestle with angels for a blessing for their children. And, by golly, they won’t let go until the blessing comes. They won’t let go until fire comes out of heaven. Or until they see the unseen hand move upon their loved ones’ lives. They will pray in the pit of hell for their babies and walk through the valley of the shadows to guide their children home.

True Mothers of God are fruitful in the physical and Spirit. They won’t let go and no weapon formed against them will prosper. And true Mothers of God like St. Monica will produce sons like Augustine.

Are you for REAL???

But I have to tell ya the main point again. You have to listen to the Holy Spirit and do what He says to do. Even if it looks nuts and Christians call you dirty names. And when I was believin’ for Jim, the Baptist church thought I was the corn ball of the year. Why I tormented myself by going to church, I will never understand. I just thought I should go. Well, anyway, I finally got done beating myself up and I went to the Pentecostal church and was there a while. And they thought I couldn’t afford a divorce. So they took up a collection for me. I said I didn’t want a divorce. Well, they thought I had flipped my lid.

But, ya know, if you are believing God for a holy marriage, then why torment yourself by going to a church where many of the Christians are divorced and lovin’ it? You have to be faithful to God, not your church. You have to give your all to Jesus and His Word. I mean, you have to point yourself in the direction of what is going to help you get your loved one saved. You don’t go to the library when you were meaning to go to the store. Go in the direction of Godliness. I mean, if you have a good church that believes in family and standing for unsaved husbands, then Hurraaay for you! But don’t put the church ahead of God and His word.

You have to line up your actions and your thinking to the promises of God. I mean, when Jim would leave us, I didn’t start dating other guys and still go to church and tell folks I was believing for Jim to come back and be saved. You have to get your actions in line with the answer. No, I stayed home and made a home for Jim to be saved in and he was saved.

I mean, be real with God. Let God be God and every man a liar. Either stand for God and for Victory or stand for the world and their lifestyle. But a double minded man (woman) will be unstable in all of her ways. This is why we Mothers fall into fear and depression. It’s because of confusion. We don’t know whose side we want to be on. Our minds flit from one thing to the other because we aren’t stabilized on the Word of God or the spoken promise God gave us. Also the demon angels hit a woman’s head — her mind — because she is taking spiritual authority where it is her husband’s job. We Mothers are called to be silent and deadly. We are called to hide away in our homes to learn in silence and submission to our husbands.

We are to be set apart unto God for a holy purpose. That is, to bear fruit spiritually and physically. We are called to groom our inner woman, the meek and quiet spirit. We are called as Keepers at Home. Mothers of faith, keepers of the priests and prophets and handmaidens of God. We hide the spiritual and physical seeds as Mary did. We are the wise women who build our homes. We are to nurture and keep the godly seeds as we cling to the old rugged cross. And we don’t let go until we see His glory.


Trail Blazers

Well, I hope Jim gets to come home today. I have to go get groceries this morning. I want to spruce the house up a bit, too. I know Wild Man will be fuming if the doctor says he would have to stay another day. As it is, he is about to jump out of his skin. And, of course, I am ready to do the same because he is.

I had to give myself a pep talk in the night last night. Oh, mercy, I had better be made out of more blood and guts than I ever have been. I was telling MaryL, my mentor, last night on the phone that I always feel I am pressing on the boundary line. Always going beyond where I ever have.

I used to be able to see my pathway but now it’s like each day I am hitting into new spiritual places that I have never been before. I think of Daniel Boone who was a trailblazer. Each day he walked along alone and searched for new paths to bring the settlers through. But he had a thirst for adventure and he loved to find new paths to walk through. This morning, as I stand here writing, I am trying to think of the brave people who have gone before me. Folks who had to just get up in the morning and do what needed to be done.

I am a scaredy cat. Oh, such a scaredy cat. I cry out to God to let me PLEASE roll over and play dead. Can’t I stay in bed with a pretty quilt over my head? To forge ahead in faith? Oh, my mercy. I know some of you are there, huh? You don’t know what the future holds but we know who holds the future? Right? Hellllooo? I mean, we just have to expect a Miracle every day.

I heard a man speak once about his mother who had a lot of faith. He said that every time his Mother heard a knock at the door or she got a letter in the mail, she said, “Oh, is this an answer to my prayers? Is this my miracle?” Oh, we need faith like this. When Jim and I were separated many years ago and I would get a phone call in the night, I would think it was Jim and that he wanted to get back together again. Oh, we have to stay expectant as we blaze new trails and hear new callings from the Holy Spirit. We don’t know what each day will bring. But we must be ready for a miracle each day. And we don’t know what hour the Lord Jesus will come. He will come when we least expect it. But if we are expecting miracles in our lives, then we will be ready for Him, no matter when He comes.

We as believers are not of this world. We are living in an eternal kingdom even now. We are starting our Eternity now. We walk as if things are, that are not. We believe that we have from God what we ask for. Mark 11:23 and 24. Read both verses and then 24 says Therefore I say unto you. Whatsoever ye desire when you pray BELIEVE that you receive them and ye shall have them. So we believe first and then we receive. We don’t pray and then look at circumstances to see if all is well. If it ain’t all well when we pray, then it ain’t all well, anyway.

We pray at home until we see His glory. Until we see the answer in our hearts. You believe with your imagination. You must see with the eyes of your heart and the ears of your heart. I mean, this is the ideal. But sometimes we pray and we don’t see the answer and so we just have to believe with as much heart as we have then b.s. our way the rest of the way home. Thats just how it goes . We just go ahead and do what we need to do with as many guts as we can muster up. And may the Lord forgive us for our unbelief. “Lord Jesus, please forgive us and help us to walk with you.”

The Lord puts us in these hard situations so that He can be glorified. We as trailblazers are called to go beyond the natural realm and press forward to the supernatural places in God. We want to see miracles but we don’t want to be put into situations where we have to have a miracle or die. We want easy trials. I sure do. We want trials that are within the boundaries of what we have believed God for before. We don’t want to be uncomfortable.

Walk by Faith

Ya know, as followers of Christ, we are on the move. We cannot please God without faith. We cannot do anything to glorify Him if we are walking by what we see. This world is temporary, a place to be tested. It is always subject to change. But the Lord God and His heavenly kingdom never changes. He is the same yesterday TODAY and forever.

Oh, we get up to blaze a trail through our darkness. We wonder what is on the other side of the hill. We shrink back in fear and don’t want to walk to see what is on the other side of the hill. But we must go, whether we have a faith to hold us up and keep us happy or if we are just b.s.-ing. We gotta go look to see what is on the other side of the hill.

Blessed Are the Poor in Spirit

Dear Wives,

Last week I got so mad at Jim. I wanted my way and he wanted his way. And then he got into a black mood and then I got into a blacker one. Well, Papa is out in the world all day and Mama is at home prayin’. We see things in different lights. My sin is always that I think that Jim should feel like I do about things. He often thinks that I am not respecting him as a man and not honoring him as my husband … the bread winner … the head of the house.

Jim is very territorial which is a good trait in a man. They like being the head of the house … and they know everything that is going on in the house from top to bottom. That’s Jim. When Mama gets outside that boundary line — and especially when Papa is sick with his sinus problems — things go boom. When Papa’s mood is black, it begins to change to gray when he looks at Mama and sees that her mood is changing to black, blacker, and then to fire engine black.

The Lord spoke to my heart, finally, as I wrestled in prayer with the whole thing. And then I went to the grocery store. As I entered the door, the Lord spoke to my heart, “Connie, blessed are the poor in spirit. Be pitiful. Be courteous. Connie, you are more spiritual than your Jim. Forget your own hurts and love Jim and minister to him.” Something really broke within me, and I saw this whole picture as the Lord saw it. God is not interested in who is right. He looks at our hearts and our desire to please Him.

I pleased the Lord when I forgave … when I took the lower seat … when I humbled myself before the Lord and to my husband. It’s not who is righteously correct … it’s who is the most humble before God. As I forgave Jim, I could ask God to forgive me for my vanity and pride. That stiff unholy flesh that needs to be right will be the death of us women if we don’t watch out.

I really think these are the years of the women. Man alive! Women are just worshipped these days. They seemingly can’t do anything wrong. Women can stay home and do nothing to build up the home … just sit there and be pretty … and the world would tell her that this is her right. Let a man try that for a while, and he is called a snake. All of this deception lives around us Christian wives and mothers, and we need to be very careful of it. We are fast losing our places in our homes. If we don’t get to work and show our husbands that we are making a difference in the quality of the home by staying home, then they won’t want to support us.

A wife at home has a definite advantage over her husband in spiritual things. Her husband is really, in a way, sacrificing part of his spiritual life to go out and work for his family. Well, not really, but in a way. I mean, I am here and very able to grow spiritually. Every day I write in the mornings, and my spiritual life has grown a lot as I have been faithful to keep writing. I have noticed that I am so much more clear and have so much more discernment than I used to have. So when Jim starts to match wits with me, I’m liable to blow him into the next state with just a look.

And I know that some of you ladies know what I mean. Trouble is, I am not the head of the house, and God doesn’t think I am just because I am more spiritual. This whole thing is like me bragging that I have a winter coat to wear in the cold and he doesn’t, when he was the one who bought me the coat.

While the world may tell us that we can do anything, we better not try that in front of the old man. Pride comes before a fall. In the world, the woman is told to square her shoulders and stick her chest out and do what she wants, regardless of what her husband says. Satan is just pulling these women into slavery. No one can just do as they please — I don’t care who they are.

I think in Christendom, the biggest sin that women are committing is the sin of pride and unforgiveness. We have to walk in love and forgiveness. It doesn’t matter who is right. God’s servant among us is the one who will humble herself and be the peace maker.

Just lately, I faced all of this with my own mother. Dad is still in the hospital. Of course, I am ranting and raving about the medical help he is not getting. Mother, on the other hand, trusts in doctors. Mom called me two nights ago and said the doctor said that Dad could die any minute. My response was, “Mom, why do you believe that stuff?” I was ashamed of myself after I said that. I couldn’t sleep that night hardly at all. I had drawn my sword of righteousness again and nearly killed someone who didn’t understand where I was coming from at all. Mom was hurt and didn’t understand that I was laboring in prayer for Dad’s life. I may have been scripturally right … but where was my humility and respect to my mother who was losing her mate of 59 years?

I told God that I was sorry … so sorry. When I got to the hospital, I soothed my mother. I said, “Mom, I understand. You believe the doctors are right, and I will just agree with you.” See, I have to be at peace with my mother, or Dad could never be healed.

We have to walk in forgiveness and love and peace with those around us. We must go to the level of faith of the weakest one. I came into agreement with Mom that the doctors were doing right with Dad. And if God can use an ass, he can use a doctor. Mom is from the old school, where the doctors were gods and if they kill you … well. they couldn’t help it. As I agree with Mom that the doctors will do what is right, this helps me, in my faith, to walk in peace and know that God can still do a miracle.

But I am not going to get a miracle by walking up and over my mother’s head. We must be patient with those around us, and see their point, and encourage them where they are at. If they have a little faith and it is in a doctor, then it is faith, even if it is misdirected. Maybe God will use my mother’s faith in her doctors. I’m not going to kill her faith because it isn’t like mine.

I said all of this to say that we need to understand that some of us are given more discernment than others. But, as women, we don’t have the authority to take spiritual authority over a man. We need to drop back out of sight and pray our prayers to the Man in authority over every demon and every man … and His name is Jesus Christ. We must be quiet and submissive and loving to those who are poor in spirit. Whether that means your husband or your own folks.

Be glad that you understand the Lord because you have had the time to spend with Him and know His heart. But many don’t understand Him. We must show the world who He is by our good works. I mean, we need to tell the truth and plant the seeds, but we can’t make seeds grow. We must drop back and leave the seeds hidden.


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Happy Housewifery teaches wives and mothers how to make Godly homes and encourages them to love their husbands and children in trying and difficult circumstances.

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