Monday, December 18, 2017


pt 5 another conclusion

This is so precious because Jim walked probably 10 miles at least to go to
work…And it was winter and it was very cold…..i cudnt get him to wear a
hat back then..This was back when we were so young and so in love..We cudnt
live with each other or without..each other…Jim wud tell me he was
hopeless and i wud say “no you arent”!!! and i wud tell God i think my
husband is really hopeless..But me and God and Jim didnt all agree Jim as
hopeless together..Thank God!!love connie

pt 4 conclusion

i forgot to say in this writing about the gloves that this was way before
Jim was came to the Lord…This was when he walked to work and we didnt
have a car..We only had one child at the time..But as the warm weather came
and i looked at the gloves laying on the table as they had played their
part for the winter…i thot as i looked at all the stitches in the gloves
that it did mean something,,It was sort of a picture of our lives,The tears
and the mending each day..We were put together with Love and that was about all…But Jesus saw us and kept us going..Two accidents going some
place..Papa at his worst trying to tell me he loved me by walking to work
in the cold..And me trying to tell him i understood by. mending his gloves
every winter evening,,,And yet we were both so fragil from the trials of
life we had only love to live on..and each day we tried to do what was
right and what said “i love you”….He was to leave me many times after
this….And his deliverence came about 9 yrs later..But some how God
continued to give us faith in Him …By the every day miracles He kept us
together in Him..Love connie

pt 3 Jims Winter Gloves

i shud be writing about Spring but its still so cold . it is warming
up..But as i was writing the last part about mending in the evening..i was
thinking of Papas winter gloves.Jim had to walk to work so he needed warm
clothes..Well we had paid quite a bit for these gloves so they had to last
the winter.. Well each nite he came home from work the gloves would be
torn in the palms …we cudnt afford new gloves..So each evening i wud sew
his gloves together again and have them ready for the next morning.. By the
time Spring came and he didnt need the gloves..i got to looking at them one
day after he had gone to work..There was nothing but stitches holding his
gloves together..It looked impossible that they cud even keep his hands
warm.Only stitches held us together..Like prayer stitches..Lil miracles of

pt 1 Called of God to be a Wife

Chrissy called today from NYC..She is such an artist,,And she sure helped
me with some advice.. She has always told me to never create for money..Or
in other words dont let money dictate to you how to create something..Its
good if you can make money at it…But dont create something only to sell
..To your own self be true in what you created..Does it say something about
who you truely are..Most artists are trail blazors.. they have a message..i
have things in my heart that i dont say..i bet the Lord wont let me get
away with that either..He has called me to be a writer.. Oh so here is what
is in my heart ..Maybe whats in my heart will make you love your husband
more,,i dont know..But here it is and what it says i dont know..My heart is
so grieved and i pine so for my husband Jim.. i want to shut the world off
and just write about Jim…i cant stop loving him..When he first died it
wasnt so hard to take..i some how kept going..But lately its so much
harder..Grief is so hard to is never predictable.. i tried
to enjoy the day today with my neighbor lady friend up the street..But my
heart is so heavy all the time for Jim.. Well i had 6 children with him and
i had one miscarriage..Papa was so grieved he wrote the date down in our
family Bible..Oh Papa and i grew up together..i was 18 and he was 25..i was
priveleged to help him..i was called of God to walk in that prison he was
in and marry him..It was my privelege..We women are called as helpmates to
our men..We are called to tame them down thru our love and our
forgiveness..This is why God called us to be creative helpers to our
husbands..We must encourage our husbands to work by being happy with what
money they give us..And a man needs to lead the family,,He needs to be the
head of the house..We as wives can be creative and make things at home…We
can learn to make the things we need..Not only to save money..But lately so
much of our food is filled with chemicles and it isnt even safe to eat..We
shud be able to make a good loaf of bread…Even white bread is better then
buyin it at the store..the chemicals make the bread last for atleast a
month..Homemade Bread only lasts about a week before mold starts to grow on

Pt 3 A Mountain Mother by Connie in 2002

Rubie is powerful as she lives out of the inner court.. She has fasted this world and their opinions ..she has done this by willingly taking on submittion to her husband.. She has walked willingly over to the cart and has hitched her own self up and has put blinders on her own eyes..This is true submittion ..Walking in a worldy fear of your husband is not …of God..Infact its dangerous to walk in any kind of fear..True submittion is for a woman to willingly decide to follow God and His word..She casts down her own flesh and bridles it herself..She is a woman of integrity..and strength and virtue.. She lets go of this world and submits to her husband ..and then the gifts of the spirit begin to flow like a river..She then has the freedom to cook and sew and bake her own bread…She becomes joyous in her homemaking..The gifts of inventions begin to flow..if her money has offended her then she casts it out.. if money has stopped her from flowing in her baking then she casts it out.. Maybe housewives you could tell your husbands that you want less money for groceries.. If money gets in your way and makes you too lazy to make your own bread then cast it out..The mothers of the old times were happy because they had work to do and the family depended on them ..Maybe we as mothers today need to create our own lack…We hear so much about fasting and not eating ..And yet we are so gutted with material things .so much more wicked than food… We need to fast the material things and the things of this world.and worldly opinions ..We are drowning in sea of food and money and “things”.We need to cast down this cloud over our heads of the many voices of this world..And turn to the wisdom of God…ConnieJ says often in her writings that she can hear her mothers voice so strongly at times..and her mothers voice condemns her and leaves her feeling helpless and forsaken..Well i know how she feels as i have faced this torment too as a young mom..Many of us have with the inflow of the feminist spirit.. This voice just cuts us to the quick .It is Jezabels voice…And yet the Lord tells us to listen to wisdoms voice in His word in Proverbs..But we think Well doesnt that prove i am nuts if i go around seeing an old fashioned lady who instructs me as a helper to God.?.Jezabel makes fun of us and we think nothing of it? But God sends us wisdom as the virtuous woman and we cast her out? Do we think we are in deception when we see in our minds eye Jezabel? I mean she trys to just come in and live at our house..and we let
her..But when wisdom comes we wonder about that and think it is strange..Jezabel is the strange woman ,,not wisdom….We have learned to accept the person of jezabel…We get so worried about looking ok to the world in all that we do..We worry about our reputation and are we a good testimony to others..Well Jesus never was a good testimony to the people who didnt love God.. Solomon ask God for wisdom and God gave it to him..Ya know why ? Because he wanted it above his reputation? And above the life of his enemies..He refused to hold unforgiveness in his heart ..he gave it up in order to receive wisdom..And he could care less what folks thought of him…And he became a great man because of wisdom..he built his temple with wisdom..and this is how we are to build our homes ..” with wisdom” With wisdom a house is built ..In the end Solomon became very rich materially..But he didnt put riches first..Wisdom came first..Love ConnieH

pt 3 Spiritual Rest…

Well i have been up most of the night ..But i am glad i got some things
figured out ..Hopefully i will be peaceful now..i can see i just have to
obey the Lord..i dont have to be perfect to write..i just have to obey the
Lord and write ..There is no rest like spiritual rest..i pray i will be
like little Samuel..when he was a child..He heard the Lord speak to him and
he said “Speak Lord for thy servant heareth”….love connie

pt 1 He is Strong in us

 Ya know? Every time the ladies get me a new grp or the ministry is
promoted..i get scared and cant write..So the ladies tell everyone how much
they will like my writings and i dont write at all..Well ..i cant help
it..i am just the type of woman that wud be happy totally isolated in a
cabin in Alaska..The audience i mostly speak to are the ages of my own
grown children,,And you all have a lot of energy..i feel like i am in a
race car and the ladies who are driving are goin 140 miles an hour..i am in
the back seat trying not to faint and to walk by faith ya know..I see you
alls point and i agree with ya..But its like “What am i doin here?” Well i
know your thinking ,,i am just a bit slower on the draw then you all
are..In my heart of hearts i am thrilled ..this is such a faith
adventure..i love it..but its as tho i am wearing a pair of shoes that are
way to big for me.. Or its like i have to grow spiritually into this
possision..Its like i cry unto the Lord…”Lord i dont know how to do this”
..And yet i wudnt miss it for the WORLD…!!!So i go before the Lord as a
hunk of clay that is all goofed up..And i say to the Lord …”Lord please
make something out of me..i know i cant write in the flesh..i guess when we
are weak He can be strong in us..He does choose the foolish things of the
earth to confound the wise..I guess if i had alot of confidence in my
education or my degrees ,,maybe He cudnt use me.. But i guess i am just
silly enuf to make enuf blunders and mistakes in front of God and everyone
that it speaks to my readers that if Connie can be used of God to
write…then anyone can…My human weakness i think is my greatest value to
the Lord..Yet i hate it of course..i wud love to be perfect..But that aint
gonna connie

Fwd: pt 2 Neglect Not the Gifts that are within you

As i have written this morning  the Lord remindes me “Neglect not  the gifts the Lord has given me..” As i write i have some understanding.. i am always in way over my head.. thats how God does things with me..I am not organized..i think the Lord just some how comes up on my blinde side and does what He wants..While i am screaming bloody murder and chaseing shadows the Lord does what He wants..i am in enuf hot water all the time that Gods way is usually about the only way i have left..And deep in my heart i feel like i will be healed as i obey Him..As i put His Word before me and not look back..i believe He will work His plans ..He has been my healer for many yrs,, He will always heal me..He will never leave me or forsake me.. He never has.. Only God who is able to understand all things can understand me or understand you.. I believe that Randy will be ok..i have prayed and believed God for a miracle.. i can do all things threw Christ who strengthens connie

pt 3 Our Worst Enemy is Fear

The Bible says we are to be violent in our faith.And the Bible calls us soldiers..”No soldier when she warreth concerns herself with the cares of this world..”In other words when a Mother is warring against satan for her husband or children then she doesnt care what anyone else thinks….Danny my son who is soon 30 tried to keep his friend from dying and jumped a known murderer..And the Murderer  killed Dans friend and tried to slit Dans  kill him…This all happended in NYC…The kids tried to hide it all from me,,,But i found out…Later ….a month later i was checkin up on Dan and he said “Mom that was a whole month ago..why are you still thinking of it..?”  Well duh? i will probably always think of it.But still i cant care what anyone thinks about it,..i have to be about my Fathers buisness…i am proud of Dan that his heart was soft enuf that he was ready to give his life for his friend…i am tellin you that boy takes the cake..And i think of the pioneer moms out on the praire with Indians carrying their children away etc..i mean what did those Mothers do? They hung into God..They did what was  in front of them to do..They didnt care what folks thot of them.. How any of those Mothers ever lived to be 80 or 90 yrs old is beyond me….But they were brot up to know that life just went on,,They did what needed to be done.. But when the family was asleep at nite you can bet your last dollar that Mama cried herself to sleep without anyone even knowing her pain.. She was brave and full of courage.. She didnt want fear in her home.. and she just went about her buisness showing the children that she was not afraid the Indians wud be back ..or whatever catastrophy had happened to her family it wudnt happen again..! We have to stand with our kids and try to understand what is in their minds..

pt 2 Are you a Fighther

Are you a fighter? or will you just passively sit there and let Satan take your family..Satan wants to take me down..but guess what he aint gonna get to..He has tried to burn us out twice and take my husband 30 some times and end my marriage..But he didnt get to…He tried to take my daughter and kill her with  Cocaine    But the  Lord saved her and now she is a witness for the Lord..And some of the ones she did drugs with are now walking with the Lord..Even when she was on drugs she wud  call me from the Drug house and put me on the speaker phone and i prayed for the people there ..and some came to the Lord..Our daughter is now free from drugs since 2010..Do you think it was hard for me to  walk and believe God and war for her life? My husband had just 2006 then i found out she was on drugs… But God kept me ,,,i dont know how but he did,,,Just before Jim died Marys baby died of crib death,,God has kept me threw it all..My mom died also and i am her only daughter and i was with her when she died..But ya know around this time Chrissy sent me those high top black tennis shoes from NYC..And as i sat with my mom i looked at my crazy jeans and high tops and i told the nurses and all who  wud listen.,”These shoes make me remember i have moxie and i am gonna make it..”i may be batterd and half here but i can still stand up and walk..And i am going to make it…and so are you..All things are possible to those who can believe..Oh and did i mention i have Parkinsons..? And the drugs make me get kinda nuts? Well Parkinsons aint nothin,.,,God is gonna heal me …He always does..!!! i dont have any right to think He wont this time!!!!  i always come out on top..With folks scratchin their heads and wondering what the heck happened? Well i got a miracle like i  always do..Not because of my faithfulness but because He is faithful..LOve connie
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