Dear Mothers,

I am writing more about keeping a home organized as Kelly on our response group has asked me about it.

Ya know my son Jimmy was in the Navy. He went in at 18 and then I still had two teens in the house and three little ones under the age of 5 years old. Jimmy was an American spy. He was a part of a flight crew that flew over enemy territory and Jimmy had to read the computers and tell if there were any bombs in the area. To make a a long story short, we never knew where he was in the world as he couldn’t tell us. But often he came home on leave and we wouldn’t know when he was coming. Along towards evening, he would give us a surprise phone call from the airport. And then Wild Man would go pick him up.

One time the house was in a worst shambles then usual. I was about to cry, as I knew Jimmy and Jim would be back form the airport in about an hour. I called MaryL, my mentor. She said, “Connie, just make a nice meal and make sure you have it done by the time they get there.” Well, I hurried off the phone and got to cookin’. After I started a nice meal, I began to clean the living room and the children helped me. I was able to welcome our son and have a nice family dinner made for him. I can’t remember what I fixed. But when he was on leave, I would often invite family friends and neighbors over to visit Jimmy.

Two standard cakes I made were icebox cakes. Then we would have ice cream and soda or juice for the kids and coffee for the adults. The two cakes were very simple to make in two 9 by 13 cake pans. One was a chocolate cake mix and the other a yellow cake mix. After they were baked, I would put a chocolate pudding mix spread over the top. And the yellow cake, after it was baked, I put a vanilla pudding mix over it. Then I kept them in the fridge or covered on the front porch to stay cool. These cakes were simple to make — I never ran out of cake.

I would always have the children sit in the living room around the coffee table and the older folks sat where they pleased, usually at the family table. The children knew the adults were to be respected and they could sit where they wanted. Even though Jimmy was the Master of Ceremonies, he sat in the living room on the couch, balancing his paper plate on his knees. Our old milkman would yell in Jimmy’s ear, “So how is the United States Navy?”

Dick, our milkman, just died recently at 86 years old. He was at Jim’s funeral. But he was hard of hearing and always yelled. He had delivered milk and butter to us since 1973. He stopped in about 1997. He was a good Christian man. Our family will never forget him. He always knocked at the door and came on in. “ANYBODY HOME?” Jim could have popped him a good one many times but, thank God, he never did. Dick came when he pleased when he was goin’ by the area. He would switch us around and come even at night after the kids were in bed. The house would be asleep and here comes Dick, yellin’ “Anybody home?” I would ask Dick quietly if he could come in the daytime when everyone wasn’t asleep. But he said he had to come when he was driving by. Oh, what a character. Of course, the kids loved him and when they heard him come, they would jump out of bed and run to see him.

Dick also raised goats and would drive around with a big goat hangin’ out the back car window. The kids loved that and would run to pet the goat. I wanted a goat, too, for the back yard but Jim said “Absolutely not!” But our Dick started out delivering milk in about the 1940s and used a horse and cart.

Dick would come in and ask if he could use the bathroom and, as he ran by, I would ask him if he wanted a cup of coffee. Jim would motion with his eyes to me that he was not in the mood to entertain the milkman. Our lives were so ridiculous! Sometimes Jim would visit with Dick. The conversation was always … well, I would excuse myself and leave the room.

We do have fond memories of Dick and all the old family friends.

Family Order

But ya know when you are having guests with a big family, it can get crazy. But like MaryL has always told me, “Connie, folks notice if you make them feel ‘Welcome’ and if you have a nice meal ready.” And this is so true. I mean, yes, keep the house clean but mainly make sure you welcome your guests and have the coffee on and a snack — especially if your guests have been traveling for a long time to get there.

I am such a feather brain and what you see is basically what you get here. Like Aunt Toot says, “The coffee will be on and a pile of laundry will be sitting in the chair.” I don’t notice the obvious most of the time. I mean ya gotta live and let live. No one’s house is perfect. But my life as a homemaker usually pivoted from the kitchen. It had to. I didn’t buy a bunch of junk food as I couldn’t afford it. Our kids couldn’t go to the fridge and pick something up to eat unless it was fresh fruit or something. It was a treat for them to have cold cereal. So I had to make three meals a day. I spent most of my time in the kitchen.

My kids would vacuum and pick up as they had to. I tried to have the house picked up when I knew Jim would be home from work. And to me, it is so dishonorable for a wife to have company when her husband just arrives home from work. I would tell the children’s friends if they had been there for the afternoon, “Well, the kids’ Daddy will be home in a bit so I will have to send you children home.” And then then our kids would help pick up. Jim wasn’t hard to please as far as my homemaking, so things were far from spotless. But, no, I didn’t expect Jim to come home from work and not be able to even get in the door for the toys. And ya know the children and I had watched TV during the day. And we let Jim watch what he wanted when he got home and we let him rest in his chair for a while and have a cup of coffee. And I would have dinner about ready. But ya know to me that is just common courtesy. If I had to work all day, I would want someone to give me a break when I got home. And I mean, yes, we had emergencies, plenty of ‘em. And many times, Jim had to come in the house a-runnin’. But I did strive to keep the house half way quiet for when he got off work. I mean as much as possible.

I would overhear many conversations and Jim always talked about “Connie and the kids.” We were precious to him as he was to us.

No, my house is often stacks of things here and there waiting for me to unstack it. But the main order in the family is contentment and harmony. Make a happy nest for the family, dear Mothers, and let the rest of it all fall into place. Always put husband first. He is not Mama’s helper. Teach the children to honor Daddy and he will teach them to honor you.

Love,
Connie

When my children were all home at different ages, I tried to keep one main schedule. This was before I began to homeschool in 1988. Early in the morning after Jim went to work, I would top clean the living room. I would spend like about 10 minutes in each room, just top cleaning, no vacuuming yet.

The last room I would do was the kitchen. I would plan a family meal and start my cooking as I did breakfast dishes and cleaned up the kitchen. I tried to have an idea for a menu for the week. So in the morning I would either make salads or a dessert. Or made bread if I was out. Also I would put something in the oven or crock pot. So I had almost the whole meal cooked by 10:00 a.m. for the evening meal. Just refrigerate it or whatever. When Jim was at work at lunchtime, the kids and I would just eat leftovers or sandwiches. But I had a big family meal each day either for lunch or supper. But ya know in the winter, it was nice to bake or cook in the mornings as to warm the house up. And in the summer, the day is cool in the morning and it’s a pleasant time to bake. So around 10:00 I would have the supper meal figured out and the house was sort of a mess but at least organized. Then you, as mom and wife, feel happy as you don’t have to think about supper for the rest of the day.

Then late morning, you can do more cleaning and do the wash and vacuum. At noon, stop for lunch and then take a nap with the children or just by yourself. It’s a good time to read the Bible and pray. After your nap, you may have a special project to do like a deep cleaning of a room.

Try to just go to the store once a week. Plan one day that you just run errands and go to the store, etc. Then you can stay home most of the week. Running about takes a lot of time and energy. I would recommend making out a general idea of menu each week. That way you can plan a simple meal in the crock pot for the days you have to be gone all day.

Anyway, after your afternoon break, then you can start straightening the house for the evening meal. And after supper should be a time to be with the family until bedtime. It’s a good time to maybe do your crafts or sewing with the children. You have to feel … well … like anyone, that your day’s work has to end sometime. The evening can be spent reading to the children or playing with Baby. Giving baths and enjoying the children. It’s a time for Mother to relax and to read to the children about the Lord. A time to talk about God and listen to the children’s prayers. A private time for the family with no interruptions from the phone. No late visitors except they be invited and are family friends for the whole family to enjoy. Our children and their friends should be our friends, too.

My children loved to see Aunt Toot coming to our house. And, oh, they loved Jill and Dixie and Mary and Russ. I wouldn’t have let anyone in my house that didn’t love my children. Johnny would have been bored to death if he hadn’t had Aunt Toot to tease. He shot her with invisible ink on her new outfit. Oh, he loved to tease her. We set her in a chair that was wood and it collapsed to the floor. Then we said she broke our new chair and she should be ashamed. “I didn’t break it; I just sat down in it.” We said she must have gained weight. Jim had just gotten the chair at the Salvation Army and it was barely stuck together — no glue. But whatever works, ya know.

Aunt Toot was always good for a laugh. She had these food stamps and had to buy a package of gum at each gas station on her journey to my house. This way, she would have the change from a food stamp dollar to buy gas to get here. She must have been desperate for a laugh.

A few days ago, as Em was here, she was saying that she remembered the old health food store we all went to. Ya know, that one I had written about. I thought it had been torn down earlier but Em said, no, that she remembered going there with her Mom when she was about 5 years old. Emily says, “The new Pioneer stores weren’t as good. I didn’t like them, as they were too clean.” Ya know, Dixie always said that if a house was too clean, then something crazy was goin’ on there. If there was no dishes out, or children’s toys on the floor, it wasn’t right. Showed that the family was only watchin’ TV and not doing any work.

Dixie used to come my house with Emily, late afternoon, just before they were to head back to the farm after grocery shopping. Well, you know my kids were artists and writers and musicians and I had papers everywhere and art projects goin’ on. I had 2 pianos and a chord organ in the living room. Then, of course, I was always cookin’ and had stuff on the stove and in the oven all the time. And when Dixie and Em would come, I would try to clean everything up all at once. Oh, I was a sorry sight, runnin’ like crazy to pick stuff up and at least clear the table to have coffee. I would apologize and say, “I am sorry my house is such a mess, etc. etc.”

Dixie would say, “Of course your house is a mess. You have 6 children.” Well, too, I had a dog and various other creatures running about that I didn’t even know I had until it was quiet. One time, a chipmunk jumped through the broken screen door. I tried to catch it, but then decided I needed some gloves, as I didn’t want to get bit? And I got in my drawer quickly to find gloves and all I could find was my old prom gloves from 1965. So I wore them and somehow caught the chipmunk. If anyone was here with a camera, I know I would be published in Mad Magazine. God knows, I am glad I ain’t. But, yes, the kids tried to help me catch the chipmunk but you know kids. They think its all funny and wanted to keep him.

I was always serious about getting crazy things back out of my house, not my kids. But whatever creatures the cat helped in, Jim, when he would get home from work, would want to rest? And to stop the parade just short of his return home was never easy. But I always thought of Dixie saying, “Of course your house is a mess. You have 6 children.”

Well, I also had a fruitful dog that had a litter of 14 pups about every 6 months. Also, I had 25 rabbits in the backyard. Jimmy, our oldest, was given a pregnant rabbit for his birthday. Her name was Aunt Jessica. I grew comfrey in my garden and fed them this with rabbit pellets? Well, comfrey is what they used to feed race horses in the old days? Well, our rabbits were as strong as miniature bulls. And big? Oh, my gosh! I finally sold them to this old Indian squaw I met at the grocery store. Those rabbits were as big as Thanksgiving turkeys and I bet those 25 rabbits lasted her all winter, and well into the spring.

I remember when the kids were all home and I got out of bed, my feet hit the floor running and I went all day until I collapsed in bed. I was tryin’ all the time to sell rabbits and puppies, sometimes kittens. This is all just after Jim got saved? The poor guy — it’s a wonder he didn’t run the other way. He would actually come home to all of us and seemed to be ok. But, anyway, all of this to say, don’t worry about messing your house up to live happily with your brood. But just clean it up just before your husband comes home from work. Make sure the evening is quiet for him and teach the children to respect Papa. He needs to come home to a quiet home and be able to unwind and watch TV for a bit before bed.

Our men have their own trials and tribulations. They need the stillness of a home where they are honored. And by 8:00, I put my children to bed. They could read books in their beds until they were tired. But the home was closed for business.

I wanted to start writing a bit about the nuts and bolts of homemaking. Some of you pretty much have things worked out, so don’t pay any attention to me if I cross your schedule.

For one thing, the years of 2000, or even the 90s or the 80s, really don’t give us any picture of the Mother at home. So I feel we must go back to a time when the Mother was exalted in the home as a Keeper at Home. Some of you like the 50s Mother. I remember the 70s mom with the long patchwork quilted skirts and full aprons. She wore the bandana around her head and was a health nut. She made everything from scratch. I revert back to the 70s Mother, and also to the Depression era mother. But I really think you gotta have a picture of the housewife you want to be.

Some of you that have no picture of a godly mother need to somehow find this mom and plant her in the visions of your heart. I would even recommend that you all get the Little House on the Praire books and read them yourself and to your children. Ma Ingalls had alot of wisdom and you can pick this up from Laura’s writings. And if you can get some of the little House movies from the library, that would help you to be able to see a mother in the home. Also, the Walton movies … those are so good. Both of these were shows on tv that had their popularity in the 70s.

We do have to go back to a time when the family was important. The Bible says to go back to the ancient paths to learn what they have to teach us. I mean, we just don’t have any example of her in this age. One of my favorite home videos to watch is “Sarah Plain and Tall.” And then there are two other movies after this, “Skylark” and “Winters End.” They are Hallmark movies. I also love the shows that are a take off from the book Ann of Green Gables. They are called “Tales of Avonlee.” And then, of course, the Christy movies are good to show you morals. I used to get all of the Shirley Temple movies for our Mary to teach her manners. But, anyway, some of you who have never seen a stay at home mother need to find one to look at. And if it is only through the movies, so be it. Whoever wrote the script knew a stay at home mother and is showing you one.

And, you know, we need to have fun with running our homes and use our imaginations when the times get boring. Many times, when I am just plain befuddled as to where to start in my day, I will say to myself, “Wisdom is coming to my house today at 3:00 for tea. I have to get ready for her.”

And I just clean the house for this wonderful woman of wisdom to come to my house for a visit. I call her Ruby, and I want Ruby to think I have a house of wisdom. So I run about and clean and get ready for Ruby to come to my house.

I will think to myself, “Well, I better get supper done for Papa before Ruby comes, as we may while the afternoon away with conversations of wisdom and teachings. I want to have everything done so I can just sit at Ruby’s feet and hear her words. She is my older Titus Mother.” And, as long as we are childlike and have an imagination, we can be happy in our homes. As we see Ruby coming, we will see wisdom coming to our homes, too. This is an act of faith that we are learning wisdom.

I think one of the best homemaking tips I would give you is to to get your cooking done in the mornings. Start the family meal soon after breakfast. Then just refrigerate it, or whatever. But, usually, your main event of the day is the family meal, and if you can wrap the rest of the housework around the famiy meal, this helps you to be organized. If your big meal is in the afternoon, then this is even more reason to begin it right after breakfast.

And also, put your husband first and before the children. I always cooked what Jim wanted and my children learned to eat it.

And ya know, dear Kitchen Saints? No one ever did anything in this world who didn’t have an imagination. All of the great inventors, artists , musicians , writers and scientists all used their imaginations to bring things forth in the physical. Your laboratory is your kitchen, and you are a painter and artist, too. You are creating homes that are works of art for the world to see and bounce off from. You are sculpting a masterpiece.

Your job is really harder than the wives in the 50s or even the 70s. Because you have to pop right out of the ground. Straight up you come, with no one and nothing to bounce off from. You are to be your own creation.

Ya know, I love the hillbilly housewife recipes. She has a writing about apron evangelism. I loved what she said about aprons.

But dear Mothers, just shut the world out and get some “Little House on the Praire” movies and books and ask the Lord to teach you through these. Also, if your library has the real old cookbooks, get a big stack of them and study them. Go back to an era when family meant something and re-route your thinking.

Now, Barbara Swell’s books are so inspiring. Surround yourself with godly women, even if it only through books.

Put pictures on the wall of mothers in long calico dresses holding babies and enjoying her many children. We women of the 2000s need all the pictures and help we can get. The Bible says to keep the word before your eyes. This is one way to keep the word concerning Keepers at Home before your eyes, with pictures of Godly mothers on the wall.

Keep notebooks of your household schedules. And only go out once a week for errands. The rest of your week should be knee deep in children hanging at your apron and recipes swirling in your heads.

Be happy and sing as you do your chores. Ya know, the old time mothers had a song they sang as they mixed and kneaded their bread. One lady told me that her Mama was like this when she was a little girl, and my friend said she thought, when she became a young bride, that you couldn’t make bread unless you sang this song her Mama sang. The song was part of the recipe for bread.

Here are a few more tips:

• Get up early in the morning and get dressed, and clean up the living room first. This way, if ya get unexpected company at the door, you are ready to answer it. When our husbands go out the door to work, we have to be ready to be responsible adults to tend to the problems of the day.
• Before you start homeschool, have the house in order. Top clean, so that the children can feel they are organized. And usually, if ya don’t get school done in the mronings, ya don’t get it done. So try to start around 8 or 9:00, then break for lunch, then finish up after lunch.
• Rest in the afternoon. Read the Bible and write down recipes or craft ideas. After you rest, do your main cleaning projects in the afternoon. Then stop and put supper on … if you started it after breakfast, it won’t be such an interruption to get it together and hot for when Daddy’s car rolls into the driveway.
• Maybe the children had out toys and games to play in the afternoon. Make sure the toys are picked up before Daddy comes home for supper. Teach the children that Dad is tired and wants to rest and have things orderly … don’t let the children have friends in when Dad just gets home.
• The supper hour should be a sacred family time to be quiet and enjoy each other. Dad should be able to sit down and not be interrupted, so he can collect his thoughts after work. You, Mother, have had your afternoon to rest and pray, and Dad hasn’t. So let him eat in peace. If the phone rings, you go get it. If the baby spills her milk, you clean it up. You should be ready to guard your husband’s quiet time. He has given you the priveledge to stay home with the children, so you should respect him.

RELATED LINKS:

Hillbilly Housewife – There aren’t any exotic meals here, only family-friendly recipes that use basic ingredients. The recipes are all tested in a real kitchen with hungry children, stalking cats, begging puppies and a playful husband underfoot.
Apron Evangelism – philosophies on the pleasure & power of aprons

Native Ground Music: Kitchen & Home – Step into Barbara Swell’s kitchen as she dishes up delicacies from times past. Her best-selling cookbooks are packed with historic old-time recipes and cooking methods, kitchen proverbs, folk remedies, romantic advice, autograph rhymes, food insults, table manners, vintage photos, and more than a cupfull of homegrown humor.

When I was a young Mother and raising the children, I would get so bogged down with keeping the house up and the home running smoothly.

One late afternoon, after a particularly trying day, our son Jimmy called unexpectedly from the airport to have his Dad come pick him up for a surprise leave from the Navy. Of course, all Jimmy’s brothers and sisters got so excited and wanted to go with Papa to pick Jimmy up.

I was left with all the messes of the day and baby Mary. I didn’t know where to start. I called Mary L., one of the older women in my life. She gave me such valuable information. She said, “Well, Connie just get a meal started because Jimmy will be hungry. Make something simple, like a casserole. Then clean off the table and make it look nice for company. If you have time, clean the living room. But always make sure you have food on the stove and a nice place to welcome the family.” And this was such good advice, and I have always remembered that.

Our girl Mary always says, “Mom, why do you start lunch at 9:00 in the morning?” Well, ya know, I always feel that to have a meal on the stove is like home insurance. You are prepared for the unexpected.

With little ones, they need a set time to eat lunch and then a quiet few hours for naps. But often, when the children are young, you have to do a lot of thinking ahead to make up for the natural interruptions of the day.

Jim has a lot of different hours now with this new job. So, sometimes our family meal is at noon, and sometmes in the evening. Like today, Mary will be gone all day helping her grandma, so I will just eat a sandwich for lunch. But later, I will fix a big meal for Jim for supper. But to have a meal on the stove makes you feel so peaceful. Then you are free to do the cleaning and won’t be interrupted to have to switch gears.

And, ya know, Jello was always such a handy thing for me to make for the kids in the summer. It’s easy to get out and have with a meal. Also, apple sauce kept cold to have with a a meal is so easy to have. So you may have a simple casserole on the stove and maybe homemade muffins and then some jello — that makes a nice meal.

I used to make a lot of casseroles. One I made was this. You just pat ground beef in the bottom of a pan and bake it most of the way and drain it. Then put a can of green beans, drained, over this. Then a can of mushroom soup, and then mashed potatoes on top. Then just bake it at 350