Dear Mothers,

This morning I was watchin’ TV. And I got in on the end of a message by Bishop Eddie Long. And he was talkin’ about how some folks want to give God their money, thinking that this will pay for their sins. They are in sin and so they give a big amount of money and this soothes their conscience. And when he got ready to say that, my ears just perked up because most TV preachers want money at any cost. They wouldn’t care if it was from a pimp.

Anyway, the Bishop said the alter is a place to burn the flesh. As in the Old Testament they burned the sacrificial animals. And this was a picture of the true Lamb of God in the future — Jesus — as He gave His life for our sins. And the Bishop said, “God wants your life and not your money.” And when he said that, I tell you, the Holy Ghost snapped in me and I shouted, “That’s Revival. That’s Revival!” It was like I saw the first spark of revival in our country. Boy, that took a lot for that preacher to say that. And it hit me like a rock in the chest. I felt like I had seen the birth of revival. PTL.

We live in the worst of times and best of times. And God is preparing many of you on this group to see signs and wonders and to shout the victory in God. Give Him your life and let His Word be your authority. Where sin abounds, grace much more abounds.

Love,
Connie

Wow, I don’t know what will come out of me this morning as I feel so full of the Holy Spirit. This oughta be good! I guess I will just jump in and hang on.

I wanted to write some about Christian TV. You know I like some of it. But you have to have discernment! One thing the Lord really showed me lately is about this giving to these ministries? These prophets of God can get way off on that. They could preach the gospel right on the internet for almost free. But they beg for money like hound dogs. And they tell the poor schnooks that watch their stuff that if they will give to their ministries that their prayers will be answered. And ya know that rigmarole is all the law. It’s Old Testament law. But the truth of the New Testament is that we give our LIFE to Christ. He doesn’t need our money — He wants our heart and soul. If my husband Jim had just given me just money and never love, I wouldn’t have the testimony that I have. I always wanted Jim’s love and devotion.

And ya know I don’t ask anyone for money and God does take care of me. I wanted a ministry of caring for the children. I could take in more children but that would be too much and I wouldn’t be able to have a homelike atmosphere here. So I wait upon the Lord. And He gives me money. And sometimes I give money away if I see a poor person in front of me that obviously needs something. But I don’t give to a TV ministry. I give my time and my energy to children and to upholding my husband’s honor.

If anyone should be asking for money on TV, it should be to sponsor children in our country. I think it is in France that the government pays women to stay home and have babies. They pay Mothers to have babies. Because after years of abortions, the country doesn’t have enough young men to build an army. I imagine it is like this in most parts of Europe. China won’t hardly allow girls to be born. Our country is young and it takes awhile for us to catch up on sin. But we as a Free Country should take a look see and see what is happening to countries that have been using birth control for many years.

Christian Joy has gone to Ireland many times. And she told me that it’s against the law to get a divorce because they don’t have a welfare program. The parents are ordered always to care for their own. Once you are married, you can’t get a divorce and remarry because that gets the records mixed up and by law there are no stepparents.

Well, anyway! But with these TV preachers! Man, they brag about their new cars and how many they have and new homes. They say God gave it to them? Well, they are heaping guilt and condemnation on all these poor folks. That they don’t have their prayers answered because they didn’t give to their TV ministry. The older Christians see through that mess. But the young new believers don’t. So TV preachers manage to keep his audience poor and needy and controlled by fear of sin and condemnation. And God don’t need your money so that you can hear the gospel. The gospel is free? I mean with the internet, you can preach it for FREE. And Preacher Buster Brown don’t need all of that money. I mean Jesus Christ didn’t have to have a new airplane to preach the gospel and, heck, He barely left town. But God either publishes us as teachers or He don’t. He knows how to broadcast us.

Jesus wants your life which costs you a lot more then your earning power. We don’t have to pay the King so he can pray for us so that we can have blessings from God. Sure, tithe if ya wanna. But not so that you will be blessed. Because you will be more blessed by giving your life to Christ and doing His work out of your love for Him. As stay at home mothers, we can truly give. But TV preachers will make you think you can do more for God by getting a job and giving $$$. This lie is how we now have birth control in the church — and Christian feminism. It’s business as usual $$.

Prophets of God

The Bible sure shows us that prophets in the Bible were not sinless by any means. An anointed person is a sideshow, I think. They have to be sorta interesting or no one would watch ‘em. I mean they have gifts and they are sometimes all over the place with them. The gift is subject to the prophet. They can get way off the mark and yet when they are on the mark, look out!

See, we each can have the Holy Spirit. The Bible says that we need no man to teach us as we have an unction from the Holy Ghost, and we know all things. But this is the deal. We are responsible to know the Lord apart from the church. And when a prophet of God tells us something we should be saying, “Wow, this is what God has been telling me for a long time.” Or if it is strange to you, then don’t listen. A person who is whimsical and creative will create from what is going on in them at the time. This is how a prophet is. If you don’t have some idea of a truth to start with in your own heart, then you won’t be able to discern a true prophet from a false one. Oh yeah, the Word is a guide. But you need the “Alive Word” that you have prayed over in your heart. So that as the days ahead get darker and more error is taught, you will know the truth and who to follow. No, I know we need to be taught. But the true teacher is Jesus Christ. And any prophet you encounter should be adding to the truth you have been taught in your prayer chamber by the true teacher Jesus Christ.

A woman who judges her husband and tries to take spiritual authority over him is just looking for an attack from Satan. The bottom line to all of our understanding as Christian wives and Mothers is wisdom. Wisdom is the foundation and everything else is to bounce off of this. Proverbs 14:1 says EVERY wise woman builds her house and the foolish tear it down with her hands.

Having said all of this — I have really been taught lately by TV preachers. Not that I listen to all the snake oil ads and superstitions they come up with. I know they are trying to get a new car. But mercy! I have to say they are striking a chord in my heart. It’s like those ol’ boys are getting into some real firewater and leavin’ the soda pop for the kids. God told me a lot of things after Jim died and how heaven was right in the midst of me. And this is what a lot of these prophets are saying now. I wouldn’t have believed all of this from these prophets had God not told me before they preached it. My friend Jill is a prophetess and so was Dixie. They ain’t perfect but touched by the Holy Spirit. And when I talked about Jim being with me always, Jill said, “Flesh and blood didn’t tell you that but the Spirit of God.” I know our son John told me, as I told him that I had never grieved for Jim as I knew he had never left me. Johnny said, “Mom, it’s a gift that God has given you.” I knew Jim would never leave me and he never has. His body wore out but his spirit never will. But the preachers aren’t saying talk to the dead. But they are saying that heaven is not up in the sky someplace but is about us.

The Bible says there is no marriage in heaven but we become like the angels. The angels go back and forth easily. The parable of the rich man and Lazarus explains that, once you are in hell, it is a prison that you can’t come out of. But heaven is a place of freedom where you can come and go. Not that all the spirits in heaven come and go. Some would and some would choose not to.

Baby Maya Grace is here — have to go.

Love,
Connie

This morning I was watching TV and waiting for Olivia J., age 4, to get here. Anyway, I like to watch Gloria Copeland every once in a while. I just watch these lady preachers to try to see what makes ‘em tick. As I watched Gloria, I thought, “Ya know I like her style in a lot of ways.” She kinda has a West Texas kick in the pants way about her. And I mean she does have a message, it seems. But I just laughed out loud at one point and prayed out loud. “Now, Lord, if Gloria would just adjust her motor, she could be so much more powerful and do so much more good than she does now. If she would just exalt the teaching on Keepers at Home and wifely submission, and the virtuous woman, man, she would be a knockout.” I mean she could still say what she says now but she would be aiming it at the woman of obedience, the Homemaker. I know she would be helping her own daughters a lot, and her grandchildren.

I do believe that in about 5 or 6 years, many of these lady preachers will bow their knees to the teachings of keepers at home. I mean if they are to last at all. Homeschooling came out of the grassroots of the radical Christians. It never came out of the church. The church finally got it, though, and thank the Lord. But this teaching on Keepers at Home is a new message. It is God breathed. Oh, I know the old time Mothers believed it, of course. But there is a new awakening of it now.

Feminism has proved itself and any thinking Christian Mother knows it is a farce. This is a farce along with “Give 10 bucks to God and He will give you a hundred bucks.” That has proved itself over the years to be a false teaching. Yes, we give of course! But a housewife gives out of the work of her own hands, not her husband’s hands, his money. I give my writing to the Lord. I give a lot out of my own life as a homemaker. There is profit in all labor. But had the deal worked of 10 bucks to get a hundred, we would all be rich by now. None of us would have to work or do anything but give money out of the money God gave us out of the money we gave Him.

And right now, it seems lady preachers are as common as weeds. And they will have their day, bear fruits of evil, and then be spiritually hung as witches. Just like the public school system has been hung out to dry. And just as abortion has been proved to be murder, as we now can see the baby from all sides through advances in ultrasound. God is patient and waits for evil to have its day and then shows us the truth. If we won’t accept the truth, just ’cause “He said so,” then judgment comes.

And ya know I have decided to really pray for the lady preachers. They could do so much good and our country needs them to do good. They have a lot of faith. If they could just adjust it. Their pride actually keeps them out of the blessings of God. They are so overwhelmed with all the money coming in and all the crowds screaming a worship to the God of Christian feminism. Satan has told them that if they will fall down and worship him that the whole world will be theirs and they did and it has.

But the true woman of God will come out of the secret place in God with a spirit of humility and true worship. You couldn’t give the true woman of God all of the gold in California. That is not her true treasure. In fact, God will test a true woman of God with having everyone run away from her and not like what she says. But will she just go on because she wants to serve God in truth?

Mother Has Left the House

Ya know as we look at our nation, we see child abuse and abortion. We hear of teachers having sex with their students. We hear of incest. Man, I have never been molested, thank the Lord. But some of the ladies in their 30s tell me this is pretty common stuff. Usually it comes to the daughters through Mom’s live-in boyfriend or a stepdad. One lady told me that it was common for the stepdad or the boyfriend to pretend he has two wives and give the teenage daughter an engagement ring. The Mother works every day as the boyfriend don’t wanna. And I could go on and on but won’t ’cause this is making me sick.

We have so much instability in our world. And from what I hear, the USA is one of the worst nations, as far as sin. And God tells me every day that with all of the instability in the world, stick with the marriage covenant. Don’t get off on who should get a divorce and remarry. Just tell everyone to stick with who they are married to. Because we will all get so confused, we will just go crazy. I mean folks are just goin’ nuts living with this one and that one. As they do, their spirits become one with this and that personality as they become one. And eventually they will go crazy. We are meant to have one personality and it is the one God has given us.

Well, anyway, I said all of this to say that if a woman really has a heart for God, she would see the problems before us and want to change them. She would see that what our nation needs is a good picture of the Mother at Home caring for the children. If a woman really loves God, then she will hear the cry of the aborted babies and teach mothers how to be Keepers at Home. She will want to teach wives to stay in the marriage for the children’s sake. She will want to teach young women who have been abandoned by their own mothers to be keepers at home.

We need women in the body of Christ who will tear at the hearts of young Mothers. We need her to be holy and righteous to prick the hearts of wives and mothers whose hearts are worldly and hard as stones. So many of you dear wives and mothers are learning to be Titus 2 Mothers as you don’t give up on your own marriages. You have been to hell and back, I know. But Christ was chosen to go to the cross as He had suffered in every way as we have. You can’t speak to crowds of hurting women unless you have been there and done that. But many of you are called as trail blazers to settle a wild country that is almost hopeless.

The wisdom of God must be taught and it comes from the inner court. From the ground of the heart of Mother, who has allowed herself to be broken ground for His sake. As her tears spill upon this barren land, the anointing comes as no other way. When you are persecuted for righteousness sake but you go on anyway, you are beating the devil to death. The sword hangs in your heart and you feel the cold steel of it. And yet you go on. This is when the blood of the martyrs is spilled. That blood mixed with tears is precious to Jesus. It moves heaven and earth. Your life is precious to Him. Don’t give up or count yourself out.

What the world calls foolishness moves the heart of God. We press on the Word of God and prayer until we knock the hell out. It’s just like if a woman starts watching soapies and keeps goin’ with it. And then she decides to have an affair and what have ya? She is pressing on evil and she will reap a reward of evil and death. But if we as Sisters of a New Revolution keep pressing on the Word of God and prayer, we will see the fruit of righteousness come forth. As we don’t give up or become weary in well doing, we will reap if we faint not. Sure, we suffer but we don’t give up. We put the cross before us and the world behind us. We are not afraid of what evil will do to us.

We won’t see a victory we haven’t fought for. And the main fight is the fight to get His anointing. He looses heaven for us.

My Darling Husband

Oh, Papa fought his way back to this house many times. He was rebellious and wrong to leave us. And once he thought it over as he hitchhiked out of town, he eventually came back. We have both fought for our family. I will never know how much he fought for us.

I was sort of a thorn in Jim’s side, I think. Ya know he used to work in restaurants. I would look at some of those waitresses and envy them as a young wife and mother. They would stand there chewin’ gum and smokin’ cigs, tryin’ to look busy. I longed to be more “everyday” as they were. I often thought that Jim would have loved me more had I been more run of the mill. I do think at times the more average wife is a better wife. She is easier to get along with, sort of. I mean if she has a good husband to start with ya know? I mean I think sometimes she makes a better help mete than the really spiritual wife as I was. I would have my head in the clouds with Jesus a lot. Well, it was just what made me tick.

I mean Jim would come home from work to about anything and I would be as calm as a cucumber. I would be real sick and not want to go to a doctor. Well, I knew Jim didn’t have health insurance. I probably helped him to have his heart attack as he worried so much about me. Well, Mary and Brandon did, too. But I probably had a share in that. Sorry to say! But I know Papa loved me, anyway. He has forgiven me now if I did make him crazy. I was always paid up in mercy and that was my insurance. And I knew that Jim would always forgive me as I had always forgiven him. What comes around goes around. Papa and me weren’t anything special to be married for almost 40 years. We were just two good forgivers. Be always quick to forgive your husband, as you never know when you as his wife will goof up. I almost burned the house down twice. Jim never condemned me once. Not ever! And the fire burned up all of his clothes and his bed. Well, our bed. Now there is a prince of a guy, huh?

The worst thing I did was tell him he wasn’t having a heart attack when he was and he died. But ya know Papa was a good man and I know even in heaven, he loves me and has forgiven me. Jim and I had a trust in each other and a peace between us. I have not grieved for Jim. I really haven’t. He told me he was dying and he prepared to die. I miss him, yes, I do. But I know where he is and that he loves us and wants his family to go on.

In my home is so much rest and peace. This was the house that Papa and me built spiritually. He will always be here with me. The Bible says that there is no marriage in heaven but we become as the angels. I feel Papa’s spirit in this house as I feel the angels. I never doubt that he is right here with me still. I am comforted by him as I always have been. I say all of this to encourage Sarah and Jen on our group who are young widows with children.

I feel my husband was as important as any great man and I plan to make my home a precious memorial to him. I try to do right and live an honest life before our kids in order to bring honor to Jim. I never want him to be forgotten or our Love Story not to be told. I loved Jim with a love everlasting. He fought for me and I fought for him. I know I was never perfect and he knew that about himself. But if we did anything right? We were right in the fact that we never gave up on each other or any of our kids. No matter what our 6 kids have done, we have walked with them through the valley of the shadows of death. Jim stuck up for Johnny, no matter what, and now I stand for Mary on earth and Jim stands for her in heaven. We are shaking heaven and earth to see her come to Christ. She is our youngest daughter, age 21.

Yes, I know I am free to remarry. But I don’t want to. Jim was my husband. The only love of my life. And I am content to just live here in the house he gave me. I want to continue to write and honor and reverence my husband’s memory.

Dear Mothers,

Well, I have baby Olivia Rose (5 weeks) this morning. She is sleeping so I will have some time to write.

Mercy! I was watching Joyce M this morning and man alive. She is just out and out putting down the submissive wife. She says that a preacher tried to tell her that her husband should preach and she should be quiet at home. So her husband tried to preach and he didn’t know how. So she preached and won many to the Lord. And she told how the crowds followed her. None of what she said was backed up by scripture. She is getting her calling from looking at her experiences.

Ya know my daughter Christian Joy told me once over the phone — as she calls me often — she told me years ago, “Mom, anyone can get an audience. There are so many crazy people out there.” She told me that on the internet, you can sell about anything and someone will buy it. I have always remembered that. Just because a lot of people follow you, it don’t mean you have the truth. In fact, if crowds of women follow you in this sin sick world, it probably means you don’t have the truth. But it just galls me that so many women are following Joyce. And now so many women preachers are coming forth.

It bothers me that on Christian TV, there is no representation of the women of strength and dignity. I wish I could be on Joyce’s show and, man alive, I would tell it all. Let me tell ya. What bothers me a lot is the old church women on TV who are screaming at the young women to not live in an abusive marriage. It’s so sick. You get out of abuse by going against God’s word? The abuse starts in your own heart and must end there. You need to be built up in God. Getting a divorce isn’t going to change you inside. You will bring your tattered and torn personality into the next marriage, too.

Then Joyce has this woman on there who had a testimony of living in abuse and how she got out and happily married someone else. Oh, God help us. But when that woman was being abused, a Titus 2 Mother should have come to her from the church and showed her how not to be abused. Women who are so torn down are torn down to start with … without an abusive husband. And there are men this way, too. Some men are just battered by their wives but won’t say anything, as they don’t want to lose the home or children.

Letting yourself be abused is self destruction and it’s no one’s fault but yours. I feel like a fart in a storm again trying to write this stuff. Abused children are different as they don’t know how to get out of the situation — because they are children? But what are some of these women going to do when they reach heaven? Blame their lives on their husband? And then they think they will be excused because they didn’t trust in God?

Especially Christian women need to learn to love an abusive man. A Christian is called to love more, not less. We are to love our enemies and bless those who curse us. Vengeance is mine saith the Lord I will repay. God is to fight our battles for us. And most women in this age are abusing their husbands. The wife is to submit, but a man should not submit to an abusive wife. But when dealing with an abusive husband, you should know right from wrong and not submit to evil. You must be as Esther was before the King. You can pacify your husband but you have your own agenda with God in your heart. No one owns your mind except for God. These Christian women that have to be LARGE AND IN CHARGE don’t have the guts Esther had. They win a few battles but always lose the war.

“Oh, Father God, encourage and raise up true women of God in this hour as lights in this present darkness.” So many watching Christian TV are being led to Satan’s pit. Arise, oh daughters of Zion. Come forth, dear Daughters of a New Revolution!

Ya know no one in their right mind would ever publish this stuff I write about wife abuse. So I am glad I have my own group. I guess I publish it myself.

But ya know Lady preacher takes out the cross of Christ. She speaks of Christ at the cross. But no one ever speaks about the death of self. About crucifying the flesh as the Bible speaks of. Or taking up our cross daily and following Him. The death to self and the exaltation of Christ is the teachings in the Bible. No, what we have in the modern church is death to Christ and exaltation of self. Joyce teaches about the confident women. And God says our confidence comes as we abide in Him and crucify the flesh. We are not to exalt ourselves but we are to exalt Christ.

Many are scared spitless in this present day. With wars and rumors of wars, we are much afraid at times. And so people try to get a false sense of security by acting tough and trying to be confident. Well, Jesus is the conquering hero, not us. Let me tell ya somethin’, Darlin’, we are in a mess in our country. I don’t trust either party. I live daily with Jesus. Yes I get afraid. But each new day, I give my fears to Jesus and I wait upon Him.

We want quick fixes. If we do this and that, then we will be OK. We feel confident as someone gives us a formula for success. But it is not us who will take ourselves through but only Jesus. 1 Peter 2 and 3 says in the King James version that Jesus is the example to the abused wife.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

This morning I was back at it, watchin’ Christian TV. Well, I sorta like that show Ever Increasing Faith. But with any TV evangelism, ya gotta watch it. So at the beginning of the show, they had this dopey chick on there. And in a nutshell, this is what she said. Her church where her husband was a deacon believed in wifely submission. And this chicken’s girlfriend told her she didn’t have to submit to her husband. So she decided to go pray with Pastor Price and he got her straightened out. And she told her husband that they needed to go to Pastor Price’s church so they did. And she got her prayers answered because she put Jesus first.

Ya know, it’s not enough that these churches don’t teach about the order of the home. But now they are out there just takin’ potshots at us who do teach it. And what good is going to come of it? The homes are already in a mess. Mother leaving the home has brought on the encouragement of abortion and child neglect and you name it. Why is the church standing against the stability of the home? Anyone knows that if you get a wife in the home who is dictating spiritually, we have witchcraft going on. Rebellion is as witchcraft. The rebellious wife produces rebellious children. And these kind of mothers in the home then produce homosexual sons and daughters. Well, often it is just plain neglect that produces homosexual children. Again you gotta wonder if all some of the shepherds have in mind is to build their church and forget the needs of the sheep.

So this empty headed chick who got on TV and said her husband was not spiritual enough, in the end, submitted to a man, anyway, and it was Pastor Price. Had she thought her husband didn’t know as much as Pastor Price, she could have still watched Price on TV and gone to her husband’s church. She could have prayed for her husband to see the light. But, no, she probably told him she was gonna divorce him if he didn’t do what Pastor Price said. Because, by golly, she put Jesus first. ????? Help me, sweet Jesus! A lot of men will go along with their wives in order to keep peace in the home. But all this wife has done is maneuvered her husband’s will. She has made his flesh obey her. The true Christian wife who is maybe married to a man who is a believer, but not that steady yet, should encourage him in his God given authority. The true wife is after her husband’s heart to give to Jesus. She doesn’t care about herself or her own needs. Her goal is that her husband be saved, and that he be a son of the living God. She can get spiritually fed any place she needs to.

No husband can get into your mind. You are “God’s daughter.” But this woman should have reverenced her husband enough to stay in the church they were in and let her husband decide if they should leave. But to get on Pastor Price’s TV show and tell about how her girlfriend helped her to see the error of her ways was very disrespectful towards the priest of their home. I wonder what her children thought?

We in Christendom are very close to losing the truth on this about the order of the home. That woman getting on TV with that lie spoke to many women, not to mention men, and is going a long way in breaking down the Christian homes. And every time they say that stuff, they are pounding another nail in the coffin of the Christian home.

See, Joyce is loud and boisterous, flaunting her new outfits and earrings on TV. Her feet abide not in her home. We in Christendom haven’t seen a lady in so long, we have forgotten what one looks like. We have forgotten the scriptures that say that a woman is to learn in silence and submission to her husband. Or that she is to be chaste and discreet and a keeper at home. And just about everyone of these women preachers have a testimony of sexual abuse as children. They have never seen a virtuous woman before and they are preaching out from who they are.

Dopey Chick’s Husband

And, ya know, Dopey Chick’s husband probably thought, “Mercy! I can’t fight City Hall (or Pastor Price’s Ministry), so I guess I should be a good boy and go along with my wife.” Because, seriously, it is the age of the woman being in control. And women’s rights are a big deal right now. And most men know what side their bread is buttered on. And it’s either her way or the highway. Any man who does stand up for being a man is in real danger.

When I babysat that precious baby boy right after Jim died? Well, both parents were good and loved their little son. Well, the baby’s dad pushed the mother one day and she was outta there. The dad probably never saw his baby son again. I think of him often and that his heart must be broken. Now, had HE kidnapped the baby from HER, then they would have caught that guy and skinned him alive.

Women are in control in our country. And while her husband may be lookin’ fine and minding his wife as she dictates to him, he is rebelling in other ways. And I don’t need to count the ways he will rebel. If he looks good at church and stands up and sits down as he should, and as the pastor and his wife has ordered, then wife thinks all is well. And that’s all she cares about, anyway. But, Lady, you will never reach a man’s heart if you are just worried about what the world has to say about him.

The true woman will submit to her husband, and will win him to Christ through her behavior. You can’t win a man to Christ by laying down a set of rules. You win him through your work as keepers at home. As you care for the children. As you keep the home clean and the meals on the table. You must win his heart for Christ. Your husband has to fall in love with you before he will fall in love with your God.

Papa used to tell me, “Well, Connie, you are gifted.” I would say, “Oh, Honey, I am not.” But, ya know, the more the days go on that Papa is in heaven, I see more then ever that it was Papa who was gifted. Mary and I both say that we don’t have to miss Papa as he is always with us.

And, ya know, through all of these laws we are passing against the rights of men, we are taking all of the romance out of our marriages. Papa and me were passionate in every area. When we first got married, I would call him a name and go to run out the door and he would grab me and hold me down and threaten me. One time, as I prayed that I would put Jesus first and not my husband, he nearly killed me. He misunderstood that, as most men would. NOOOOO it wasn’t right. And NOOOO I am not sayin’ it was. It was a mistake on his part and he quit all of that, for sure, or I would be dead by now. But you get passionate people and they ain’t just passionate in the bedroom. And it is just life.

No, if a man makes a habit of beating his wife, this is very dangerous and has to stop.I mean, call the police if Husband is way out there. You don’t want to die, as who would take care of the innocent children? But, on the other hand, we can’t police our husbands. Men, every now and again, will act up (it’s the nature of the beast) and, no, you aren’t honor bound to divorce them.

A few days ago, as I drove into the hospital parking lot, I had the windows down — no air conditioning. And Papa always drove with the window down, even in the winter sometimes. Of course, he was smokin’ and blowing the smoke out the window. So I learned to drive from him. Anyway, as I drove in, I had the radio up full blast and the Righteous Brothers were singing,

“You’ve lost that lovin’ feelin’
Woah, that lovin’ feelin’”

It starts out …

“You never close your eyes anymore
When I kiss your lips”

Well, anyway, I was prayin’ and I said, “Yes, Lord, that is what is missing in Christendom and the world. That lovin’ feelin’. That passion that comes from a submissive wife and a man who will support the family emotionally and spiritually. A real spiritual home is a very romantic home and has a sexual climate.

Conclusion

Well, I should get goin’. I need to get to the hospital to see Mary.

One DVD movie Mary and I watched yesterday at the hospital was Walk the Line. Johnny Cash got really crazy with his women. I told Mary, as I laughed, “Who is that like?” Mary says, “Brandon.” I said, “Well, Mary, look at Johnny Cash — the Lord healed him, didn’t he? And God healed your Dad, didn’t He?”

Mary is still wanting this old guy, age 40. I mean, this old guy is sorta fat. But, ya know, what can I say? I mean, things ain’t right. But God is makin’ it right.

Mary called this morning and said, “Mom, I have bad news. They found septic in my blood.” That leaves her in the hospital for about (I hope) 10 or so more days. She sure could have died in that jail. Thank God the Lord took her out. So my adventures continue.

In closing, I want to say to you who are keepers at home. Don’t lose that lovin’ feelin’ for your husband. Let him be a man. Close your eyes when he kisses your lips.

“And, Papa, I am doin’ the best I can with Mary. I can’t touch her without rubber gloves. But, oh, I love her so much and I love you, Papa.”

Love,
Connie

This morning, John’s wife Christine and David’s Tiffany are coming over with Baby Rose and Romeo to visit a while. Tiff is to have her baby in September. Christine has some baby things here that she wants to give to Tiff. So we will eat lunch and go through baby clothes. I think I will have goulash as I think the grandchildren will eat it, too.

But, boy, last night and this morning, I was watchin’ TV and, wow, the women that are taking over the preachin’ is so sad. They are out to get us women who are trying to be be submissive wives. And it is such a blasphemy! And, ya know, when my dear friends hail Joyce Myers as the conquering hero, I just smile. And then one of my friends said lately, “Connie, Joyce learned to preach by listening to other men’s sermons and then she re-preached them.” One of my friends thinks I am destined to be a lady preacher and she thinks this is why I fight lady preachers with a vengeance. You know, that foul stuff comes at me like flying toilet paper and makes as much as no indentation on my spirit. Good night, Girdy! The lady preacher is always at the mercy of the virtuous woman.

The Bible speaks of the strange woman in Proverbs. It says she is loud and her feet abide not in her own home. I listened to a lady on TV last night and she was just like a foghorn blowing like a maimed rooster. And a maimed rooster is what she is. She is a woman trying to be a man. A hen trying to crow like a rooster.

Why do I watch these nuts on TV? Because I am desperate to hear something from the Lord. I am desperate to partake of a drop of spiritual water. And in some of these women, I do hear a measure of truth that they have gotten from a man’s preaching.

The men of God have been kicked out of the pulpit. And the main foot that kicked them out was their own. That is so sad. My Gosh! Those dopey preachers are so lazy, they make the women preach. And, of course, those women are full of pride and arrogant – - – - – - -. And they want attention because they were abused and all of that. Well, lady, get over it! But the men who were called have lost the pulpit. It’s sad, very sad, and one of these days, when these women preachers see the light, they will be the first to complain that no man would do it. Also these women are full of witchcraft. And it’s gonna get worse and worse before it gets better.

But now these women are just out and out writing books against traditional housewifery. But they are at our mercy and have nothing on us. They are trying to get the housewife to be set free. Oh my gosh, they can’t hurt steel. I laugh at ‘em when they try to change me. They are so lame in their attempts that it’s funny.

Now what wise woman in submission to her husband and a covenant woman is gonna be dumb enough to succumb to a Christian feminist? We aren’t called the virtuous woman for nothing. Virtue means power. The wounded roosters may squawk but, once their feathers light, that’s all they got. I call them wounded roosters, as they preach as wounded men and not like women. I stand in silence before them when they get on their high horse and just wait for them to stop. I don’t jump into that meat grinder. I just let ‘em go. Why wear myself out?

But Joyce M. is at my mercy. She needs to get ahold of one of us women who know about the wisdom of God and sit at our feet. We need to tie her to a tree and preach to her all night long. Of course, we would have to gag her mouth. And, ya know, the great so called prophetess of the world, Juanita B., was right. She called an all out war against the woman at home. She prayed for all of us to stop our submission to our husbands and quit being stay at home mothers. To be set free of our bondage. And now look at the witches flyin’ and writing books. Joyce has a new one out now against the Keepers At Home. And then Mrs. Fog Horn, last night on TV, was pushin’ her book, too.

And all of this is straight up evil. And our men will get sick of it and will be making slaves of women even more. These men may smile when lady preacher walks by but they seethe with hatred for her. I mean, if a man is a true man, he will seethe. If he is an overgrown baby who is too lazy to even feed himself spiritually, he will welcome lady preacher. But no true man of God wants a woman to take care of him, either spiritually or physically. But especially spirtually. A real man of God wants to be king of his home and, especially, king of his own spirit.

But I am tellin’ ya the truth. These witches are the forerunners of a huge stronghold of evil. They are building it now but will cry and wail with regret, once they get it built. The older men will become less and less strong spiritually. But our young bucks will get sick of it and be out raping women and treating them like dogs. Once the virtuous woman is out of the picture, the women of God will be pressed into slavery. Most of these women who are out preaching have been abused. And they are leading the way for more women to be abused and made slaves of. Oh, sure, it looks good now and you may love these women but hell is coming. And hell is never satisfied and never full. Jezebel will drink the blood of the saints. She is right now drinking the blood of the Keepers At Home.

And some women are so dull of hearing the word of God. And they are so stupid, they would do anything any man told them to do. And they give the true virtuous woman a bad reputation. Jesus didn’t stay on the cross because He didn’t know how to get down. No one made Him stay at the cross. He GAVE His life. And we who are true virtuous women don’t obey our husbands because we are stupid and can’t figure anything out. We submit in order to be like Jesus and to obey the Word of God. And even in all of this, we have a choice to marry or not. But I mean, some women that the witches use as an example are women who stand there and let their husbands hammer a nail into their heads as if they don’t know what day it is. No virtuous woman has to do that. Protect yourself with your prayers.

When I first got saved, Jim and I used to beat each other up every week. We loved it. We had to finally admit we loved it. And once we admitted it, we started to quit it. Duh! One thing about it — when ya quit hittin’ yourself over the head with a hammer, it feels so much better. Talk about bein’ dumb as a bag of hammers.

But the virtuous woman don’t get beat in the physical or the spiritual. Nothin’ will beat down the virtuous woman. She is far stronger than the woman who is out to protect herself. Husband abuse doesn’t stop when you give the man an untimatum. It stops when you come into godly Holy Bible believing submission. Well, that’s what the Bible says, Girlfriend. Read 1 Peter 2 and then read chapter 3 — it’s clear enough.

We women of God have a choice always and no man, saved or not, is to run your mind. Your mind is your temple in God and that temple is precious to Jesus. We are always His daughter first and then our husband’s wife. If Hannah had been submissive to her husband, Samuel would never have been born. Just because you are a godly woman it doesn’t mean that you have no personal relationship to Christ, as lady preacher would have you believe.

You are to learn in silence and submission to your husband, and to reverence and praise your husband as priest of the home. He is to be as Jesus in the home. When you don’t agree with your husband, you should go to the Lord and pray about it. The Bible says that the king’s heart is in the hand of God. God can move a husband who isn’t doing right as to fit into God’s will. But often, it takes the virtuous woman’s prayers first. As a woman trusts in her husband, she learns to trust in Jesus Christ. These women preachers are causing you women to look away from your husbands and unto strange gods.

Good Morning. I am up makin’ coffee and straightening up the house. It is so cold in this house, and my e machine gets cold. So the keys stick and have to be warmed up. So I do some replies to get the keys warmed up and then I do the regular writing. We put our heat down to just over 60 degrees at night. So when I come out here, it is COLD. I have to get warm and my e machine, too.

Sunday I needed to rest so watched this telethon for this Christian channel. Funny? Oh, my mercy! Well, this one Fat Cat was kinda interesting at first. Not scriptural, by any means, but he was good for entertainment. I just wanted to be distracted for a while. So he tells everyone how he gave his money away until he became rich. Well, you know he is tryin’ to hoodwink the sheep into giving him their money. The funny part is, he acts like his audience is money starved monkeys. And if it does, indeed, work to give money and you get all this money back, then why don’t he give more money so he can get more back? And why is he buggin’ the sheep for money? If it’s that easy, what’s he doin’ on TV beggin’?

And ya know, money is not what most people need to make it. When I get down and out, you could throw twenty dollar bills at me all day long and it wouldn’t help me. If I don’t hear from God and if He don’t help me, then no amount of money will help. I mean, some of us do need money but we need a word from the Lord first. If we can get a word from the Lord, then the money will come. But to run out and chase money is the wrong way to go. And, sure, we need an open hand to give and to receive. But this plan of give your money away to the hungry wolf and expect it to return so you can pay the rent. No! And this was a message that started in the 70’s and if it had worked, all of us Christians would be millionaires by now. But all it did in reality was to make the Fat Cats Fatter? So now they are doing good and the believers are gettin’ poorer.

See, the wolves try to get you to think that the more money you have, the more blessed you are. But the word says that some among us suppose that gain is godliness and from such we need to turn away. Jesus was poor and lowly of heart and He is our example. Often when I hear the Cats cry out for their money, I think of Mother Theresa in India. Oh, what an example she has been to me. She was a true servant of God. Who but a true servant like her would drag dying unbelievers out of the sewer to wash them of maggots and tell them of the love of God. Those Cats on TV wouldn’t dirty their hands to do that. They want your money and that is all they want.

Christine, John’s wife, was reading some of my writings and howled with laughter over Jim in the 70’s asking Jim Baker for some money. The last time they were over, we got to laughin’ over that and almost fell off our chairs. Leave it to Jim to beg money from Jim Baker.

See, this teaching starts out with telling the Christians they should have the best house and the best car and the nicest clothes and on and on. So the Cats tell the wife this, too, as often she is there at church without her husband. So the little woman thinks she needs a better job so she can be blessed by God better and be able to give Hungry Fat Cat more money $$. So the preacher has Mother out workin’ her buns off at an outside job so that she can be blessed. It’s a teaching that makes women slaves and they can never relax and be a mother and keeper at home.

Sure, Fat Cat gets more money all the time and he is indeed rich. Ya know why? Because you are driven by the sins of your own lusts and pride and you keep giving him money. And he keeps goin’ with his message because he makes a lot of money at it. But it ain’t all about money. And why not work for your money the old fashioned way? It’s a lot easier and more honest. See, folks are payin’ for a lifestyle and not a life. Many are so in debt and will die that way.

See, it’s not a sin to be poor. Jesus made no reputation for Himself and we shouldn’t, either. He was man enough to be poor and honorable and we should be, too.

All of this debt that some folks live under, just so they can look good, is ridiculous. I barely spend any money because there is little I want. I am happy that I hung onto our home through many trials and now it is paid off. I have something to leave my children so each of our six children will have some money to put down on a house. We want to leave something behind for our kids. And how many times before we remodeled did friends tell me I should move and get a fancy apartment. Well, I could squander my children’s inheritance but I think that would be an ungodly thing to do. And to be poor with dignity and purpose is a rare life these days. But who has enough guts to do that. It takes some strength of character.

Who are you if you have nothing but yourself to offer. I mean without the expensive car? I came from a background of upper middle class. As a child, I had everything. The best of clothes, etc. Dad had a good factory job and always a nice car, boat, and we went on nice summer vacations, etc. But my life was empty and void to me. I needed Jesus and, when I met Him, I got rich.

I call Jim my Million Dollar Baby. I mean, when he was down and out, no amount of money could set him free. But Jesus, my Daddy, heard my cry and He gave Jim deliverance. My rich Daddy Jesus loved me so much and heard my cries for a husband to love me and gently care for me as a Good Shepard here on earth. Jesus knew that I wanted to have children for His glory. Jesus heard my cries and gave me a husband to love me and care and to shelter me. I had no money when Jim got healed. I gave Jesus my life, not my money.

Jesus can’t be paid off like a Mafia gangster, so that you can get your needs met? To pay Fat Cat for protection? I mean, we are children of the Most High God. He is spiritual and we must worship Him in Spirit and in Truth. He asks His followers for no more than He, Himself, gave — His life! He wants our life, rich or poor. And Fat Cat says he wants the money for the Gospel’s sake. And I have never heard some of them preach the gospel. All they preach on is how to give them your money. And they ain’t gonna preach anything else, no matter how much money you throw at them.

Same way with Public Education. Folks think we need to throw out more money for better teachers. And then our kids will be able to read. No, what we need is the truth and this sets the captive free.

One man with the truth will go anywhere in the world without money. I can give my message out for free to anyone. And if I get so full of truth that I out grow my e machine? Then God could take me anywhere He wanted me to go. Sarah never had any money or Mary, Jesus’ Mother. Their lives were so faithful that God Himself published them. God shares His glory with no man. And certainly the gospel won’t be preached according to the money we give away. And the best preachers are the ones who will preach to ya and worry if you have enough money for your own family.

Remember Reverend Aldman in Little House on the Prairie? He cared for his sheep and was poor for their sakes. And this is how all the old time preachers were. And they were always like that in our country, up until about he 70’s and they got ahold of this idea of seed money, etc. But before that, the Christian families gave what they could and preacher was expected to live on that. He and his family were often poor but that made him a good preacher. He suffered with the struggling families in his congregation.

I will never forget Pastor Hawkins. He was Jim’s and my first Shepherd. He was just out of Dallas Seminary and, boy, did God use Jim and me to break this young preacher in. But he went for the ride and hung on for dear life. God Bless him.

He Loves Us

See, your money is not your seed? Money is what the unbeliever lives on in this world. Our seeds are spiritual FAITH prayers. Faith pleases God, not money. God needs our hearts in order to do His work. God’s Word is a system of trade like money. We are to be rich or poor according to our calling in life. It’s not a sin to be rich if God has called you to this place. But if you are poor, then be grateful to be there, too.

Jesus wants our heart. He wants for you to come to Him when you are in need of something. He wants to hear from you. To just throw money at preacher, thinking that God will give you money, is an insult to God. He wants us. He wants our hands and arms and minds and our spirits. He has a plan for us to walk out of the snares and into His light and victory. He wants to give us miracles so that He can be glorified. In our lives, we are to show the world a loving Father God. We are to walk out this love of God to show folks that God loves them.

As women, we won’t be preaching the Gospel. But as we walk in obedience, we move spiritual things around like the wind moves the branches on the trees. We gently care for the baby and we return good for evil to our older children. As we do, we move the hand of God. We move God’s heart and mind. We change His mind by our kindness when we return blessings for evil. But we refuse to walk out Satan’s plan for our life. And in so doing, we move huge rocks in the spirit realm. We break down strongholds and we refuse to believe the lies of the enemy. We choose rather to believe God in the face of injustice toward us. We don’t cry out for our way but His way. We refuse to be taken up with the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches. As we grow as believers, we understand that He is all we need. He satisfies our soul.

I write this out of a spirit of truth and having lived it. Jesus is my heart and soul. I feel as though I have died many times in my soul, and all I am now is Him in me. For I am crucified with Christ nevertheless I live. Yet not I but Christ in me. And the life I now live I live by the faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave His life for me. For me to live is Christ and to die is gain.

As I was writing this first part, I could feel the Lord’s warm presence upon my back. He said, “Connie, you are my girl. I have never let you down and never will. You love me and me alone and I won’t forsake you. You are my own daughter. I have cared for you all of your life. You haven’t exhausted my resources. You haven’t come to a bend in the road that I don’t know about or have run out of answers for. I am with you even until the ends of the earth.” Oh, His precious presence is so sweet to me this morning. I can feel His Love.

Weeping lasts for the night but JOY comes in the morning. It is a lovely sunny day as I write. Oh, His love always comes to our forsaken souls. We cry out, “Lord, why have you forsaken me?” We forget all of His many miracles as we sit in a darkness surrounded by demons. But He comes quickly to deliver us and gives us His love.

When Jim got up this morning, I was sitting in the chair crying. “What’s wrong?” Jim asked me. I said, “God is giving me such a sweet prophesy. He says I am His girl and that He loves me. And He says that you are my gentle shepherd of love.”

Good Morning. Mary didn’t get Brandon to the hospital until late yesterday, as he was asleep for the day after being so sick all night. So I don’t have any news yet.

Just wanted to write a bit about church. I know what ya all mean when you say you are happy in your church. And I am glad — this is good. But the ones who have left the churches, it isn’t because they have had bad experience there. No, I love church people and they love me. Well, I suppose some folks leave as they have upsets, etc. But that is not my reason. I just left as I felt led to.

The local churches are good for certain families. Like if your problems aren’t all that bad, then the church is a good place to go. But, ya know, ya get into some real problems and the church is not really the place to go. I mean, look at the other Christian Ladies groups you have been with on the internet. They don’t even allow women to talk about their problems with husbands who commit adultery. They want to keep these groups light and happy for the ladies on the group. They want groups that flow smoothly. And ya cant blame ‘em. That’s how the group is set up and everyone has a right to run a group as they want to. But with this group, ya got cowgirls runnin’ through with cordial in their hip pockets and rollin’ their own cigs. I dunno how well some of these ladies would do in church.

I mean, ya look at the regular church out there. How many alcoholics who haven’t been saved yet are there sitting in the pews? How many church groups do they have during the week to help the woman who has an adulterous husband? I mean, the local church lets down their nets into the water and they drag up most of the fish. But there is fish down there that don’t get caught in the net. And often the church doesn’t welcome the folks who are chronic problems. They don’t fit into the happy club that is the mainstay. And, ya know, that’s ok. The church plays a part.

When Jim and I used to go to church when we were young, we loved it. But, ya know, it wasn’t too long before we began to wear out the folks there. Our problems were WAY too big. They were patient with us for about three years. Then, bless my little heart, I got the gift of speaking in tongues while going to the Southern Baptist church. And I got up in the Sunday night service one evening and announced it? Well, I didn’t know any better. I had gotten this gift while I was alone praying in my bedroom. I wasn’t at a Pentecostal church. Oh, I was always testifyin’ about what God had done for me. The folks would sorta pat me on the head and hope I would shut up. I mean, I was in my 20’s. Jim and I had separated again and again. I was pregnant with my second child. Man, I had demons chasin’ me from pillar to post.

No, I didn’t fit into a Baptist church. That church was nice to me and Jim but we just wore those poor souls out. So we did ‘em a favor and left that church. And we went on to a Pentecostal church. Jim kept leaving me when we were there, too. And they finally took up a collection in the offering plate for my divorce. I told ‘em I hadn’t planned on a divorce. Jim came back and repented and wanted to join their church and they wouldn’t let him. Well, we understood. Wild Man was way too wild for them.

We then just went to church here and there. One church I went to called me a whore from the pulpit because I didn’t go to their church all the time, every Sunday? They said that if you church hopped, it was like you were becoming one with this body and that body of believers. Well, the Lord didn’t take too kindly to that. God knows I was as pure as the driven snow. The preacher later had a nervous breakdown. And, ya know, he was a good preacher — I liked the poor snook. I don’t have any hard feelings. But I am wise enough to know that I just didn’t fit into that body of believers. I fit in with the believers who don’t fit into the church.

One time, I went to this little church. It was Baptist, I guess. Or I think they called themselves a Bible Church. Well, they were so innocent. A rumor started in their church that someone was coming to their church who was known to speak in tongues. One of the folks came and told me the rumor, too. At the Sunday morning service, these folks sat in their folding chairs like they were on hot-seats. They were lookin’ all around to find the one who spoke in tongues. Like the tongue talker was gonna jump out of no where and begin speaking in Chinese. Then a devil would jump out and pinch em? They later found out it was me and they loved me, anyway, and, oh, I loved them.

They had home Bible studies through the week. I had some of them here and they were a fun group of folks. Anyway, I quit going to that church but still opened our home for their Bible studies. They were studying some book of the Bible at church but, like I said, I had left by then. And one evening I went to the Bible study and they had it at a church member’s home that night instead of my home. Well, I always studied my Bible, even the concordance. So they have this contest to see who could get the most answers right after taking this one course at church. Well, they politely let me in their group and into their contest. I mean, just to be polite, as they KNEW I wouldn’t get any of the answers right because I didn’t have their study book. Well, I got all the answers right and won the prize. They couldn’t figure out how I did this without goin’ to their church.

At another church contest I won the prize, too. The Bible teacher got kinda mad at me and asked me if I spent a lot of time just reading my concordance and dictionary at the back of my Bible. Well, ya know, when you are under the gun like I lived for so many years, then, yes, you study the Bible and the concordance and the Bible dictionary. I used to go to sleep in my bed with my big family Bible. I mean, it was a big one that ya get when ya get married? They weigh about 10 pounds and look like a small drawer. Plus I had many study books and I read the Bible ALLLL the time.

See, most of the first 12 years of my marriage, I was alone. You go to a church and they ask you about yourself and you tell them my story? “Hello, I am Connie I have been deserted 30 times by my husband. In fact, I don’t know where he is now. Probably out committing another crime? I got married in prison when I was 19.” Then I stand there, usually pregnant, with a row of children with me. Children, by the way, who were as distressed as I was. I had the Word of God to keep me going but they had only jokes and teasing, usually, to hang onto.

The Sunday school teacher would just croak every time Jimmy came into her class. I just couldn’t make the boy behave himself and, oh, the things he did to torment the other children. But, ya know, I prayed for him as a young mother. And he grew up an to be an honorable man. But as a young mom, who had him at 19 years old, I spent many nights in prayer all night for him. I sent him to a Christian school. I babysat to get the money. I paid for it all myself. But he was so ornery, he upset the whole school. As a 25 year old mom, I cried myself to sleep many nights in prayer over this child.

At 18, he joined the Navy and was a spy, and he was a part of an air crew — he took care of the computer part of the airplane. The planes went high above the clouds and checked for bombs. Jimmy was never in any trouble and had to have a squeaky clean record to be chosen to do the job he had in the Navy. He would call us on the phone from all over the world. Collect? Later, just as the phone was about to be shut off, he would send us the money to pay for it. (This was after Jim got saved.) We had phone bills for 500 or 600 dollars a month. What a riot! The phone company had fits.

But, no, we didn’t fit into the local church. Not hardly.

And, oh, Wild Man was such a kill at church. He kept tryin’ to get saved so he would be good and not have to go back to the joint. But that guy couldn’t be good if his life depended on it. But we went to church and tried to make him be good.

There was always some well wisher that was gonna figure Jim out, by golly. So some elder or whatever was gonna counsel Wild Man. Jim would go to the guy’s house every week. And this guy would think, “Wow, Jim is doin’ good. I have healed him.”

Well, Jim was playing that guy like a fiddle. He would sit there and say, “Yeah, I did it and I am sorry and I won’t do it again. I am a no good SOB.” And you name it. Something had to cut through Jim’s soul. It had to reach him down in his gut. Nothing was reaching Jim. Nothing was penetrating his spirit. I felt so adamant later on about getting us out of church. Jim had to make a decision and quit playin’ games with the elders. Imagine this elder’s surprise when, one day, Jim didn’t show up for the counseling session, and he was gone and no one knew where he was. Not for months on end.

Once for 7 months, no one knew where Jim was. I lived in the eye of my storm. No one could ever figure out how I lived on, but I knew it was Jesus that kept me. And He will keep you, P., like He did me. And you A., and H., and all of you.

But Jim had to get out of the church and see that it was all up to him. Was he going to make a decision for Christ? Jim alone? With or without the church? He had to quit the church game, the religious parties. That man had to make a decision. Jim said he finally got sick of being sick and tired. He suffered like a dog before he really gave it all to Jesus.

See, this is where the home is so important. I lived, as 1 Peter 2 and 3 describes, as the wife being the example of Christ at the cross. When I was reviled, I reviled not again. I didn’t return evil for evil. Jim would come home after being gone for months. I would see him at the back door. He would look so rugged, as he would hitchhike out on the open highway for hundreds of miles, as my prayers would draw him home.

One time, he was so hungry when he reached the house that he stopped at the garden to eat before he came to the door. Oh, what a character! There he stood with nothing but the clothes on his back. I wouldn’t say to him, “Where have you been for 3 months?” or “Where have you been all of my life?” I would say, “Hi, Honey, are ya hungry? Come in — I will fix you some dinner.” I would help him off with his clothes and help him into a tub of warm water to take a bath. I would get some of his clothes from his closet to put out for him so he could put on fresh clothes. And then I would feed him some dinner. I ministered to him as I knew this would touch his heart.

The next day, he wouldn’t talk much. But would say, “I will go out and get work.” So he would go out and get a job. We wouldn’t discuss where he was. But then we would be driving along in our 100 buck car, a few weeks later. And the tears would begin to roll down his cheeks. Wild Man would stop the car at the side of the road and would weep until he could weep no more. Having been cool toward me and the kids, now he broke and begged me and the children to forgive him. He would cry out, “What is the matter with me that I would do these things to my family? Connie, I love you and the kids with all of my heart. When will I be a good man like my dad was?”

I would weep and say, “I don’t know, Jim. God will help us.” All I did was hang onto 1 Peter 2 and 3. I didn’t know what else to do. I just kept doing what I knew to do. I hung onto Jesus.

Oh, we fought so hard to hang on. And when I could hang on no more, Jim got another sentence in prison. The longest one he had of 3 and a half years. I thought God absolutely hated us. For 12 years, I had nothing but grief. Just before this sentence, I had waited through 3 other sentences and many jail terms. I had nothing but faith to live on.

And, ya know, Thank God for the local church. It’s a fun place to go and bring the children. But I think some of us are just too ornery to fit in. Now A., you wouldn’t want her in your church. She would tell everyone off. You wouldn’t want me on the internet as I would erase all my writings. But there is no condemnation.

I will say that some wayward men play church and the best thing in the world for them is to get out of the church. They need to go home and show themselves a Christian. If you are only good at church, then you are foolin’ yourself. If you can’t be good at home, then you don’t have anything to bring to the body of believers.

We as believers need to learn to get down to the brass tacks with Jesus. We older believers should be chewing the meat of the word. Often only the milk is preached. And it’s like going to first grade over and over again. We do need to grow up and take some authority in the body of Christ.

And it’s not preacher that is to save your husband, anyway. A man’s heart will be broken for Jesus through the behavior of a godly wife. It’s hard to win a man to the Lord through your behavior. It’s a lot easier to nag at him to go to church. And often a man will go to church and walk the aisle and confess Christ so his wife will quit naggin’ him. You don’t want a man like that. He ain’t a man who will make it for the long haul. He needs to come to Christ on his own and in his time.

You cant make the grass grow or a man to come to Christ before he is ready. He has to grow in Jesus’ time.

Some of your men who are confessing Christ but are committing adultery are only playin’ games. The worst thing you can do is believe him that he means business with God. No, you don’t need to tell him off. But don’t fall for the lies that a man who commits adultery is a Christian. They ain’t and they are on their way to hell if they don’t change. Satan tells you he is saved and committing adultery so that you won’t pray for him. You have to have the discerning of spirits so that you can pray for your husband. You have to get it right yourself so that you can pray in spirit and in truth.

And, last of all, I want to say, ya know, when I went through my times of great testing, I clung to His word. My neighbor, whose husband had left her, used to get so mad at me. “All ya do is sit in this house and pray and read your Bible. Get out and do something with your life.” Oh, yeah! The Lord was preparing me to speak to the world about how great the Lord is and how He saved my life and marriage.

We may think we aren’t doin’ anything as we read the Bible and pray and fight like hell for our marriages and homes. But in the shadows, even though we think we are alone and forsaken, God is there watching us. As we stand on nothing BUT Faith, as this is all we have, we please the Lord. And, oh yes, the victories come. Yes, they surely come and in the time the Lord had figured out a long time ago.

We are not alone as we fight. Yes it’s a fight — we fight the good fight of faith. Our minds try to deceive us. It’s a fight in the inner sanctuary. We fight as we stand before our king as Esther did. If we live, we live, and if we die, we die. But we have purposed in our hearts to not sin against our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. He is first in our lives and His word has to take first place. And as we put His word and Him first, we seek first His kingdom and everything else is added unto us. He gives us new husbands and new lives and He gives us peace. The works of righteousness brings peace.

Last night, I was so tired and was waiting for Jim to get home from work. I decided to watch TV. We have limited cable. So ya get the dumb channels that no one watches that has any brains at all. But I turned to this new Christian channel and there stood Mr. Dollar $$$. You know the ministry of Creflo Dollar?

Boy, is this guy a piece of work. He preaches, “The glory of the Lord is your money.” He goes on to say that when the poor folks gather around the fence out by his multi-million buck house, he turns the porch light on so they can see how rich he is. And he drives, I think he said, a Rolls Royce car? And he likes to show it to the poor to let them know how good God is. Well, are the sheep dumb enough to forget how Mr. $$$ got the money in the first place? He robbed it from the sheep who were dumb enough to give it to him. That poor dumb cluck preacher thinks he is like Solomon? He thinks he got his $$ because he was wise and God blessed him.

Ever heard of the old time Medicine Shows? Where the barker gets up there and lies to the ignorant that his elixir will cure cancer and grow legs? He could hoodwink a wooden post. But, ya know, because of the lack of preaching the truth, we have come up with Mr. $$$.

Some of you made him rich. He ain’t given you his rent money. I know when Jim was first saved and came home to a family to support, our first Christmas was gonna be a lean one. So Jim noticed I had some mail from the PTL Club. I had felt sorry for Tammy because she cried on the TV? So I sent her 5 bucks. So about every day, we got mail from these people. My Jim read all the mail. And so he wrote to Tammy and Jim Baker and told them he didn’t have any money to send them and he needed money for Christmas for his children. So he asked them for some money. They wrote back that they didn’t have a fund for that. Well, what made them suppose that any of us had a fund for them?

One of my older relatives belongs to a church that sends the people bills if they don’t send in their tithes. Most of the people are older. And the sermons are about “Ya can’t take it with ya.” And then when these churches prosper and get a lot of money, they think it’s because they are blessed of God. I mean, a murderer could kill a bunch of people and then rob a bank. Then they could say God blessed the murder and robbery, because they got all this $$$.

That is what is going on in some of the organized churches today. Money is the new god. But the true sheep ain’t falling for it. It ain’t gonna be long until there will be some serious shakin’ goin’ on.

Can you imagine the heartache that some of these people feel in New Orleans. And to watch Mr. $$$ on TV braggin’ about his robbery, in the name of Jesus. As if he got this money through hard work. It was hard work, alright, but not honest work. And some of us will be called to be rich in the money of this world. But the almighty God wouldn’t give someone a lot of money so he could buy an overpriced car and a mansion.

What would Mother Theresa say about all of this? She would go to the sewer and dig people out of there that were dying. She and the sisters would bring a person home covered with maggots. They would wash the sick, salve their wounds, and minister love to them. If anyone gave her even a car that ran, she would give it to the poor. She and the sisters begged on the street for food to feed the hungry.

Mr. $$$’s message goes all over. I can imagine the men in prison having no hope, watching this Mr. $$$ take up air time. Many of these prisoners are con artists themselves. A con can smell another con a mile away. I know there are many honest loving shepherds who feed the sheep. And, yes, this is their job — to feed the poor and to clothe the naked. We in the church today need a discerning of Spirits. The Bible is not taught as it should be. The sheep are scattered as they can’t hear a strong voice of God.

And, ya know, the world isn’t so mad at the underground church. But they hate the Jim Bakers of the religious world. The unbelievers see through the shepherds who are robbing the sheep. The problem with Mr. $$$ and those like him is what will bring some of us who are underground to the surface and cause us to suffer. Because one of these days, the world is gonna put the kibosh on Mr. $$$ and those like him and throw them in prison. Like what happened to Jim Baker, only it will be to all the Jim Bakers. And then the police will come after the folks who are true believers. The world will lump all of us who call upon His name in one group. This is one of the reasons I make it real clear that I am not a follower of the Mr. Dollars of this world. I don’t plan on dying for these jokers who are robbing people right and left. I don’t support them in any way. They are not harmless by any means — they are dangerous.

The groundwork for the Christian faith is the family and its order. When a preacher talks only about $$$ and nothing about the order of the family, as taught in the word, then he is not a safe person to listen to.

Some of these preachers who preach you must be rich to enter the Kingdom of God are gonna be the death of us. These preachers don’t know the word of God and are preaching to get $$$ and that’s it. The have no heart for the sheep. The preacher spouts error from the pulpit. He is deceived and he is deceiving many and taking many to hell. And I for one am not going to stand up for these clowns.

Here I talk about being an underground believer. Well, I guess I ain’t anymore, as I am on the internet. “What will you kids think of next?” But if anyone comes after me, I guess Papa will punch ‘em in the nose, and Annie will bite ‘em in the knee.

P.S. And I always think no one reads my writing.

Dear Mothers,

It’s early morning. I was praying in my bed and knew the Lord was calling me to get up and write. I am telling the Lord, “Oh, Lord, this bed is so warm and comfortable next to Papa.” Yet I knew that the Lord was stirring me and calling me. Many times I have ignored His early morning call. I have lived to regret it, as then I have to go the whole day with a message in my heart and wait again for the night to write it. Kind of like swallowing an elephant and holding it in all day. It’s better to just obey the Lord and get it over with, then rest.

Yesterday I got to rest, thank the Lord. Papa and I watched this preacher on tv. Anyway, I liked what he was saying. It was such a sweet message about loving the body of Christ. About sticking with folks and praying them through. It was a good message. It had a lot of truth to it. It was about seeing a believer do something wrong and praying for them and not gossiping about them, etc. Yet the sermon was missing something. It was like drinking Pepsi that sat out all night. It was missing the sizzle, POP and BANG!!!

Anyway, I was praying to myself about it. I said to the Lord, “Oh, Lord, probably what I teach is a crock of bull. Maybe I wind too much up in the home and family.” The Lord reminded me of 1 Peter 3:1 “Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands.” 1 Peter 2 is a writing about Christ and His work at the cross and then Chapter 3 begins with “Likewise ye wives…” In other words, we as wives act out the work of Christ on the cross, as keepers at home. Now, this is the backbone of Christ’s teachings to us wives.

Then the Bible speaks to the heads of households that if they want to have a place in the church, they must have their families in order. The preacher, as he talked, spoke only of the church ministry. How we should behave and relate to the other members of the church building. Of course, Preacher always refers to the ones who are in church as the “Body of Christ.”

The Lord spoke again to my heart that Jesus is to be our personal Savior. Jesus is with us when Baby cries in the night and we get up to care for him. We are not just operating in the gifts of the Spirit when we are at church and can relate to another church member. We learn to take on Christ as we lay in bed beside a husband who has sinned against us and we have forgiven him. If Jesus isn’t your personal Savior in the night in your bed with your husband, then He is not your personal Savior at all. In other words, it’s how ya operate when no one from church is there with ya.

Lately I have been counseled by my mentor MaryL. I was having terrible headaches and she has prayed me through for the millionth time. Thank God for this godly Mother of age 75 (I think) … but she told me, “Connie, your writing has power in it ONLY because you live it. You quit living it and only write about it and the power will leave you.” Very wise words from the older woman. And, by the way, Mary and Russ are married and divorced — have been married now for 29 years — yet they have been the glue that has kept my marriage together many times. Jim and I wouldn’t have any sorry hide left if it were not for Mary and Russ.

But, heck fire, we can all behave at church. Yet the Body of believers is not only at church. The Lord’s body is made up of those who know Him as personal Shepherd. We are a part of many other believers that we don’t even know about. We know them in the Spirit, but not always in the flesh.

See, many of you all know me in the spirit. When I write something you say, “Well, that gives me peace and helps me to understand the wisdom of God.” This is because the Lord spoke this to you first and my writings somehow cleared the message so you could hear it better. Jesus is the teacher if you are a true believer. You hear His voice and another’s voice you will not follow. He is the true Shepard.

Ya know, in the organized church building, it seems to me the false shepard stands by the feeding trough and will try to convince the sheep that the food is good. And (supposedly) if they were true sheep, they would love the food and they would come often to eat it. And they don’t want to eat it because they are rebellious. And so the hungry sheep keep eating the false shepherd’s food and wondering why they cant digest it. And the false shepherd tells them, “Well, you would like it and digest it if you were a true follower of Christ.” Yet this does not play out in the word of God. The true sheep hear the shepherd’s voice and another they will not follow.

Ya know, years ago, my brother Scott had a flock of sheep. We would go out with him to feed them. Oh, when they heard his voice, they came running to the fence! Scott didn’t have to convince the hungry sheep to eat. They loved him and trusted him and they didn’t stand idle when they heard his voice. Even if Scott was talking to one of us away from the fence, the sheep would hear him and come running. They knew his voice and they knew his food was good. They had never gotten sick from the food he had fed them and they knew his food would be familiar to them.

The Bible says that Jesus told the disciples to feed His sheep if they loved Him. So a true shepherd is one who feeds you spiritually and the food is familiar and sweet. You love the shepherd and can’t wait to hear His message. He teaches you not be afraid n the dark when husband is late coming home … it is in this place of fear and panic that Christ proves Himself as Lord of all. If Jesus isn’t with us to help and protect us at home, then He isn’t with us at all. Our true fellowship is with the Father God. As we know Him and live on His body ad blood, we come into the body of believers and we are able to be a blessing to them. And it is never us who is the blessing but Christ’s power in us. And the power of God comes upon us as we keep company with the Power Jesus Christ.

You won’t get power from the fleshly so called fellowship you get at church. Just because you eat a potluck dinner and sit next to a spiritual person, it won’t just rub off on you. Well, it will if you are a new believer. But if Satan has a choke hold on you and is pulling your fingernails out by the roots, then no one can help you but the shepherd. True fellowship is with the true shepherd, Jesus Christ. As you are built up in Him, then you have something to bring to the body of believers. Then what you say will ring a bell and call the sheep to a true supper that will feed them, refresh them and make them strong and able to face sudden fears and dangers. If He, Jesus Christ, is not your own Savior then you have nothing to bring to the body of believers.

Often the weeds among us choke us with guilt and condemnation. The weeds are the folks among us that we can’t discern or understand. They don’t hear our shepherd and we can’t understand them. They have a familiar ring in their voice and yet their message is unclear. Now, Jez is like that, too. She has a few familiar rings to what she says and yet? Not really. This is a deception, as each deception has a truth to it or we wouldn’t get caught in it. Right? I mean, if someone is an obvious liar, then we won’t get caught by them. We would never follow them.

I guess the message here tonight is to discern the spirts around you to see if they are of God. Is Jesus your Savior and provider?

The home is the first church and this is where the true Christian learns to put on Christ. Your home is your church. And as you learn His power here at home, you are able to bring to the body of believers food that will feed and nourish them. If you are only getting teachings that tell you how to respond to other church members, then it is an escape from your true responsibilities in the body of believers. The home has to come first.

Some of you wives face a hell on earth and the church is just not feeding you at all. Jesus is your answer and your only answer.

Ya know, if you have a couple problems, then these so called Christian “How To” Books are your ticket out. You CAN do what they say to do and the flesh will, in a way, take you through. But you get some old boy that is your husband and demon possessed from the “Get Go” — ain’t no “How To” book out there that will make that old mule walk. Forget it. In the Bible is the story of the demon possessed man that ran naked among the tombs. The Bible says that no man could tame him. No “How To” books would have helped that wild monster. But, ya know, Jesus healed him. He wasn’t hopeless. Jesus set him free.

And we are living now in an age where many around us are demon oppressed. These folks are suffering and going to counselors, etc. But no flesh is the answer for these people. Unless they find the true healer of their souls, they won’t be healed.

Jesus Christ is the answer. And you can know Him as YOUR True and LIVING SAVIOR. If He can’t heal your husband, then how can you know Him as the true lover of your soul? God didn’t leave Daniel in the lions’ den to be eaten or in the firey furnace to burn. God doesn’t leave His sheep in the dessert to die. He has a voice and He calls you to safety and rest. He leads you beside the still waters. He will restore your soul. He is the God of VICTORY AND PROMISE. Turn away from the world and hear the true Shepherd’s Voice, Jesus Christ.