This is to answer K. about her son. K., I know how you feel. And most of my kids were here the last few days. And sometimes we don’t all see eye to eye. And it BREAKS my heart. Oh, this Mama Bear wants everything to go picture perfect, and all moments Kodak Moments, and they ain’t, and I worry? This writing will be short as I am fixing dinner.

Anyway, I got up early this morning to pray and intercede to the Lord. And the lord said, “Connie, you are just going over this detail and that one. You don’t even give me a place to work.” And in an instant, I saw that I can’t do anything about anything. I can work in the flesh and do what I can. But I can’t go beyond the flesh. And God gave me the scriptures about how some trust in chariots and some in horses but my trust is in the Lord. And God said, “You are a wise woman and have built your house upon the Rock.” And He said, “The rains will come.” Not if they come — He said when they come.

If you have built your house upon the Rock, then that house is gonna stand. It may totter and be nearly destroyed but your house built upon the Rock will stand. The Rock is Jesus Christ. If your house is built upon the Word, then it’s gonna stand. It’s gonna stand, K. It’s gonna stand, A. It’s gonna stand, S. Yes, we can depend on it. Our house may rock and reel and the floods of the wicked one may come. But our foundation is built upon the Rock of Jesus and it’s gonna stand.

His power will be shown. He is gonna rescue us and and give us a miracle. Not a miracle of the works we have done in the flesh. Oh no. He will rescue us like He did Daniel in the lions den. Oh, yes, we don’t need to fear — our house is anointed and built upon a Rock. We may not see the answer but it is coming and almost here.

We are not Mothers of the street who are careless and strange. We are daughters of God and our children are blessed. I have never seen the righteous forsaken or his seed beggin’ for bread. Oh, yes, the storms come in our homes and the devil rages but a house built on the Rock won’t fall. No, the devil never destroyed Jesus and he can’t destroy us.

God is greater in us then the evil in the world. We as mothers of prayer will be victorious. Not because we have said all the right prayers or been the right person. But because our house is built upon the Rock and nothing is gonna take us down. It’s up to Jesus to protect us, and up to us to keep on building upon the foundation Jesus Christ.

Every wise Mother builds her house but the foolish tear it down with her hands. You are a wise Mother, K., and no one and no evil thing will ever bring your family down. You will reap what you have sown. And I know you have raised your son in the Lord. You have planted the Lord in him and you will reap the peace of the Lord out of him. All of my children are taught of the Lord and great is their peace.

K., just do what ya know to do to continue to raise your son for Jesus. But now, rest in Him and let Him do the miracles. Go on with your day and your work in building your house upon the Rock. And as you trust in the Lord, He will make a way where there is no way for your son to turn around and do well. Be brave and full of courage as the Lord’s angels know all about it.

Love,
Connie

Dear Christmas Mothers,

Oh, it is a cold morning here in Iowa. Just put our outside cat out and he wanted right back in. John’s wife Christine and little Romeo came and spent the evening last night as John was working. Christine isn’t used to all the snow and cold. She thinks cold is 30 degrees and I bet it is almost below zero outside this morning. Very cold.

John’s family lives right by the park I loved as a child. We neighbor children would hike to Beaver Park, go swimming and spend the day with a picnic lunch. Also, my mother and dad and we children would go, and I have pictures of me and my brother swimming in the wading pool. Yesterday afternoon, our John took Romeo (age 3) for a walk around the park as it was snowing. Of course, Romeo has never seen so much snow and was fascinated by it. Seems so funny that my little grandson is enjoying the same favorite park I loved as a child.

Our John seems to have come full circle somehow. I mean, Johnny has the sweetest spirit that you could ever imagine. If an angel had come to me, when I was crying many nights for the Lord to save John, and told me that our Johnny would be such a blessing to us? I wouldn’t have believed it. I would have thought I had imagined it. But God gives us abundantly more than we can think or ask. Oh yes, dear Mothers, He does. He knows what He is doing, ya know? It seems that all of my children are being taught of the Lord.

Oh, we mothers cry out to God, “Oh, Lord, don’t you care that we perish?” As we hang upon the cross and pray for our children, we say with Jesus, “Lord, why have You forsaken me?” We feel, at times, so alone and forgotten and yet — YES, He is with us and never leaves us. The heartache looms so big before us at times. The dark fearful shadows seem to overtake us. But God is with us. If we won’t give up, we will see later on that He was with us all the time. As a new believer, I never understood that. I am so glad I didn’t give up and was able to prove the Lord’s goodness in my own life.

Yesterday, when Michelle wrote that email about me being here and there on the internet, I about fainted. I again returned to my statement that I have often made to my mentor MaryL. I always said that if I ever wrote a book, it should be called “A Fart in a Storm.” Sorry for the cussin’ but I could never explain it in any other way. This has been the story of my life of faith. Always I step out into a place of the unknown and expect the Lord to somehow be there. I seem to, at times, step into a storm just to see how far I will fly. I did that when I decided to be on the internet. I should turn back and throw away my email machine and go get a job and try to lay low until everyone forgets who I am. I should change my name and pretend I died. But I am such a gambler, I can’t stop now. It’s such an adventure to see what will happen next.

But what I have described to you is really the walk of faith. Comfort Zones? No, there is none in the walk of faith. I mean, you have peace at times, like right after a battle for your faith. We do struggle in our faith to enter His rest. But many Christians get out of the war set before them and they create their own rest in the world. But the world’s rest ain’t like the rest God gives ya. Jesus has a way of leading you beside the still waters and He restores your soul. The world gives you a rest as you take a dive and forget God. But it don’t last long. And before long, you will be battling the same war again until you turn to God. The nerve pills won’t give you peace for long. Eventually, you will have to deal with the demon of fear or anxiety. The comfort zone comes in God the hard way.

We do fight to enter His rest. We pray until we see our family members saved healed and delivered. Nothing will set a Christian wife and mother free, other than to see her children and husband saved. Mother finds no relief, no rest until she sees His glory.

But ya know? Faith is in a class of its own. What goes on in your temple, dear Mother, is what will go on in your home. Your temple is your mind. What is in the inner court of your temple will be written on the hearts of your children. We need to have faith to get healed in our hearts at times. We need to encourage ourselves in the Lord. Some of us have spirits that have been in a train wreck and our lights have about gone out. A flicker of light remains and this is what some of you are trying to live on. But we need to bring Joy to our hearts and we have to get back up.

Constantly, our flesh fights the spirit with fear. Satan tells a young mother, “You can’t quit your job — what will your mother-in-law think? How will you live? You won’t have any insurance. What if the kids get sick?” And all of these questions the world asks you. And the world hitches you up to its cart and, even though you hate it, you pull the cart and it’s a heavy load. You see the children gettin’ sick at daycare and things are a mess at the house. You are fearful about losing your marriage. Fear binds you and holds you to be obedient to pull the cart of the world. And the kids in daycare ain’t the worst of it. The dear Mother’s heart and her spirit are dying. The flesh and the spirit are enemies to each other. You will either feed the spirit and starve the world or you will feed the world and starve your spirit.

As a young mom, I often stood with everything falling at my feet. I would go to bed in depression and not want to get out of bed. Yet, under the blankets, I read the word of God. It had to be just me and Him. I mean, sure, I had a few who stood with me. But when the rubber hit the road, I had to go with God and only Him. I was going to a Baptist church at the time. I had suicide demons trying to get me to kill myself. I kept telling the preacher this but he thought I was kidding. Well, the church had pretty much given up on my family at this time. I mean, the devil was trying to nail me to the bed, let me tell ya. I was all of about 24 years old. But somehow, I wouldn’t let go of God. I mean, I had some circumstances at that time that said, “Girl, forget it.”

But God came to me and told me all was well. He told me to go buy a house. I mean you are lookin’ at a woman with a welfare check of $150 a month. I was pregnant and had my son. I had no car, no money, and no hope in the world’s system for getting any. But I went by faith in God. And Jim came back home after being gone a long time. And I told Jim “We are gonna buy a house.” So we went out for a walk and found a house about 8 blocks away. I took my welfare check and made a down payment on the house. It took my whole check of 150 bucks. A rich man had attained this house as a joke. He was drunk when he got it. He never lived in it. He was so anxious to get rid of it that he was ready to make a deal. And, believe me, I had to be a gambler to move into this house. But God told me to buy a house so I did. Then Jim got a job just in the nick of time and, gosh, we had food, too, and utilities. But, as time went on, we were separated again and again but we didn’t give up. And finally, when I was 32, Jim gave his heart to the Lord.

We can’t despise small beginnings. We have to follow the crumbs set before us and follow them out of the darkness. Some of us have to begin by eating the bread crumbs from under the Lord’s table. And that’s OK — we shouldn’t feel too proud to do this. The world will tell ya, “You are eating with the dogs.” Well, I would rather be eating crumbs with the dogs under Jesus’ table than to be eating the king’s bread with those who hate Jesus Christ.

Some of us need to get a spine for Jesus. As Christian mothers, we must fight for our homes and children. And we should use our faith to keep our families well and healed so we don’t have to have health insurance. I mean, if you can afford it, get it.

Get a Spine?

And, ya know, I am all for insurance if you can afford it. But I am not for selling your soul to the devil to get it. Most of the children wouldn’t be so sick if the mothers would stay home and take care of them and get them out of the daycare. Disease breeds in those hellholes. Learn some simple home remedies and use free clinics. But mainly, in the winter, stay home and keep the children away from other sick children.

Some of you mothers know all of this but won’t do it as “What would your mother say if you quit your good job and stayed home?” In other words, “If I have to follow Jesus, what will it cost me?” What will it cost ya? It will cost ya your life, Darlin’. But you will find peace in Him. If you are smart enough to have a good job in the world, then show yourself intelligent at home where you should be protecting the children.

Public schools are hellholes, too. With all this sex education and drugs and you name it. Some children have to wear bulletproof vests to school. What kind of mother would send their children to a school they could possibly get shot at? learning to read isn’t worth losing your life over. Some public schools at this point are all right. Toni, I know you found a good one. But the majority of them aren’t alright.

I mean, quit listening to the church that tells you young moms to follow God outside of the word of God. The word tells the young mothers to be keepers at home. Quit selling your spirits to Satan in order to have a new car and a better job.

Again, dear mother, it is your heart and soul that you are destroying the most. You are, every day, telling yourself it’s OK to work and to leave the baby in daycare. And one day you will believe it. And then you will look at your husband and wonder what good he is to you. You have arrived and Satan has given you a trophy. You have won the world and died for Satan. Satan came after the Holy Spirit within you, Mother, and he got it.

And you may say, “Well, I don’t like this teaching — it makes me feel bad.” Well, I hope so. Get a spine? Maybe you think God led you to go to work or to get a boyfriend. But what does the baby think who can’t take care of himself? What do the children think of God as they are not treated right at the babysitters? A little lady friend of mine told me lately, “My mom worked two jobs, and I was day and night at a sitter. I cried every night.” I can tell she doesn’t even trust me at times.

Your mother is the one you are to feel safe with. If a child can’t feel safe with Mother, then what can they think of God? Taking your children to Sunday school is good, I guess, but should never take the place of the loving relationship that only a Christian mother can teach her children concerning Jesus Christ.

About what to do with children who mind others and respect others and not their mother? Well, I have been praying about this and this is what I think. I think we need to use the name of Jesus a lot around the house and often in directly speaking to the child. Make sure that you as Mother walk in the Spirit and then speak to the children out of your heart. Fellowship with the children around you — treat them like Christians. Let them know that you need them and can’t make it without them. In other words, give the children to Jesus. His name is above every name that is named in heaven and earth … every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that Jesus is Lord.

I am getting a good workout lately with my little grandson Romeo age 3. I speak to him a lot about Jesus. And I told him that he could ask Jesus into his heart if he wanted to. Later, when his mom got back, he says, “Mommy, I want to ask Jesus into my heart.” And so we prayed with him and now, of course, we tell him to be good and to always please Jesus. Then later he told John his daddy, “Gramma and me ask Jesus into our hearts.” He is really smart and advanced for his age … and ornery at times? Oh yeah! I know what you mothers go through. But we have to cast our cares and our children upon Him.

Romeo calls folks we first introduce him to “Turkey Butts.” We get so embarrassed! But I talk to him privately about not hurting people’s feelings. He says, “Ya mean if I talk silly it could hurt someones feelings?”

I said “Yes. Just say ‘Hi’ when you see someone. You don’t have to kiss them. Just say hi.”

He says, “Gramma, I am sorry, but I just can’t do that — I am afraid.” He is a little shy and he feels better about being funny and covering his shyness like that. And he wants to be funny like all of the rest of us are joking. And he don’t know when to change and be serious. But we are all working on the little guy and he will get it right.

He helps Gram with the dishes and I tell him I need extra kisses and love because I lost Aunt Mary’s baby, my grand daughter Chloe Faye. I tell him how much I love him and how happy I am that he moved to Iowa. And the boy is seriously ornery at times. But, oh, I wouldn’t trade that little guy for all the money in the world.

When he goes to the bathroom, he wants Grandpa to help him. I am standing there helping him and he will say, “Grandma, tell Grandpa to come wipe my butt.” I tell him that Grandpa doesn’t do that. Men Jim’s age never did stuff like that ever. I mean, Jim would change a wet diaper for the kids when they were little but not often.

But, oh yeah, that lil Romeo is a riot. He keeps me prayin’ and on my toes.

Annie said that in the pictures, Mary didn’t even look like she had just had a baby. Well, those pictures are the day after, and Mary looked that good hours after she gave birth.

Mary has such an easy goin’ temperament. Mary is very spiritual and sweet. When we came to see her yesterday, Aunt Toot met us at the hospital. I was so glad to see Toot. Aunt Toot said, “How come its so dang dark in here?” Well, Mary was keeping the lights down low and everything very quiet for the baby.

As I was sitting holding Baby Rose (Kambree Kay), she had an accident that went all over me and down to the floor. Aunt Toot just rolled her eyes when I stood up dripping wet. “Only this could happen to you, Connie,” Aunt Toot said as she was shaking her head. Oh, we laughed and laughed. And it wasn’t like I was a bit damp … the water ran into my shoes. The chair I was sitting in was soaked. Mary had to go get a pad to sit in the chair so that she could sit down to care for her Chloe. I had brought an extra diaper for Baby Rose so I got her cleaned up.

Our Mary was so sweet and loves her little baby Chloe Faye. Mary is a natural mother. For her to give birth was so a part of her. Brandon is a good father, too, and loves helping with the baby. Mary was so calm during her labor that the doctor and nurse didn’t know she was in hard labor. The baby started to come out and the doctor was just leaving the room. Mary called for him and he barely made it back to catch Chloe. Mary said she didn’t push the baby out — she just popped out.

Before Mary was pregnant, she wore a size 1 in jeans. She was the skinniest bean you could imagine. I tried to stay in faith concerning her labor and delivery, but I was scared, as she seems so small. But Mary didn’t have any trouble at all delivering the baby. Chloe weighed 6 pounds 3 oz.

Today Mary will go home. Mary seems so confident with her little baby and I know she will do very well. Brandon is such a good husband and father. We are so proud of all of them.

I am resting today. I won’t have Baby Rose. If Mary needs for me to come help her, I will. But otherwise, me and wild man are goin’ garage saling. I am wanting to cushion my own nest here with Papa. As a grandmother, I love the grandbabies. But I have a Sarah’s heart, and my own home and husband call me back to that secret place of strength and anointing. I play the part of helper to my grandbabies and yet, my heart is still putting my own husband as number one in the scheme of things.

We find our renewed strength as we gather up our own nest never to be forgotten. My place as queen of my home must never be forsaken. I must play this out as an example to my older children. I want to teach them that we, as wives and mothers, must mind our own business and tend to our own flocks.

When the Lord gave me a new batch of children right after Jim was saved, I often spoke to others that I was abandoning myself unto the Lord. And ya know, I think it’s like this. Say we have a little boy named Johnny and it’s supper time. He is out playing and we call him in. He doesn’t want to come in, as he is all excited about playing with friends in his yard. We try to get his attention and he isn’t listening. And we take his little face and we look into his eyes and we say, “Johnny, look at me … look at me. It’s time for you to eat your supper.”

And I think there are times in our lives where we too need to come away from friends and listen to the Lord’s voice. He calls to us, “Look at Me. Forget the friends and the world and look at Me.” And sometimes we as families get into such dire straits and no one can help ya. And we need to understand that only Jesus has the answer and we need to look only unto Him. The world is so evil and will do anything to interrupt your time with the little ones in your charge.

Ya know, Jez is running after me, too, now that Jim and I are helping raise Baby Rose. Man, I thought those days, for the most part, were over. But when you are raising children, Jez is an automatic wicked voice that comes to give you the “Grand Hassle.” And, heck, I am almost 60 years old and Jez never stops, I guess. Of course, she can’t hurt steel, and I know all of her tricks now that I am old. But it is still a hassle, a fight of my faith. Good Grief!

I know the Lord never slumbers or sleeps and I guess the devil don’t, either. Jez yakity yaks all day and night. And yet we must be as Marys and hide ourselves in the Lord. One of the ways I hide unto the Lord when I have Rose is to let Jim answer the phone when he is home. This way, I know who called and no one will put me on the spot before I am ready. I can kinda pick up on what they wanted as Jim tells me who called and then I can call them back with a plan in mind.

I think, too, when you are in charge of little ones, you shouldn’t be overly friendly with the neighbors, either. My neighbor ladies are sorta cliquey and I am so glad that I am not real popular with them. I mean they like me and I like them and we visit when I am out with Baby. But I put Baby first and I don’t want to get too close to the neighbors that I will be embarrassed if I have to leave quickly.

And ya know, we are all Marys if we know the Lord and are having babies to raise for Jesus. The devil don’t like it. He is afraid of us as he was afraid of Mary and Jesus. We are the world’s only hope. We are not women of the world. We have been bought with a price to be used to glorify Jesus Christ. We are anointed women … dreamers and visionaries. We are called and anointed to raise our children to glorify Jesus Christ. It is a holy calling, Mothers, and we must be set apart unto Him to do the work of angels.

Monday, when I had to be gone to help my mom at the hospital, Rose’s mom had to leave her with someone we didn’t know. Papa and I worried all day and so did Tiff and David. Jim said yesterday that we will never do that again. We will work out a way that family will always have Rose. We are not going to put our treasure in charge of someone we don’t know. “Never again.”

The next day when I got Rose back, she was sorta upset and very tired … overly fussy. Now she can’t very well tell me what’s the matter with her. She is only 18 months old, and she shouldn’t have to tell us, either. But if I can’t watch her, then Tiff’s mom or sisters do, and they are all good sitters and love Rose. But Rose needs someone constant in her life and Papa has spoken on that one — “She won’t go again to someone we don’t know” — and I know that he will move heaven and earth for me to get to watch her as much as possible.

These children the Lord has given us to care for shouldn’t be treated like unwanted baggage. They should be treated as little prophets and handmaidens of God. And we must be as Hannah who refused to leave her Samuel before she had to give him back to God. But she didn’t give him to the babysitter because she wanted to work and get more finery for herself.

We have a purpose and a place as Mothers. God has chosen us to raise up children for His use. Today let us abandon ourselves unto Him for a greater purpose. We have a higher calling than what we know. Let’s be faithful with the Lord’s children and give them a true Christ centered home. And may His will be done on earth as it is in heaven.

The three most lovely words on earth. Heaven. Home. Mother.