Dear Mothers,

I am getting ready to tell you about a story I heard on TV. It is so good but, not being a sports fan, I know nothing about the details of this story. I am pretty lame at knowing about sports so please bear with me. And if you know the details, please write them to me.

Well, there was this young man who won a gold medal for long distance running, I think. Anyway, he wins the prize and is showered with awards and all. And he takes his gold medal back to, I think, Canada? And after he had the gold medal for a while, they found out that he had drugs in his system when he ran the race. Steroids or whatever. And so they made him bring the gold medal back and he was stripped of his glory. So, anyway, a news person, of course, wants to interview his mother. What a dink! The news media loves to make a big deal of sorrow. And so this dunce asks this young man’s mother what she thought of her son being on drugs and losing the Gold Medal. And she had two words for this ignorant newsman. “He’s mine.” And when I heard what that brave mom said, I thought out loud, “Yes, he is God’s.” The Mother said, “He was mine when he won the gold. He was mine when he brought it home. He was mine when they found out he had drugs in his system and he was mine when he brought the gold back.”

Oh, man, I will never forget that story if I live to be a 100. This mother’s brave words said to me, “Our kids are ours and their sins are none of the devil’s business.”

Nothing can pluck our children out of God’s hands, no matter what they do. And, no, this is not true for every child. But if they have a mother who won’t let go of them, then God won’t let go, either. “All of my children are taught of the Lord and great shall be their peace.”

The Word says, “Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted.” If God puts a mourning spirit upon a Mother for her child, then she has the promise that God will deliver this child and that she will be comforted. A Mother who loves God will automatically mourn if she knows her child is in danger or not walking with God. I think it is in Ezekiel that God calls the writers to mark those who do not mourn with an X on their forehead and that they would be killed starting with the temple of God. Those who do not sigh and cry for their children in this age have no heart for God.

Yes, we have many days of refreshment and the Lord carries our burdens. Weeping lasts for the night but JOY comes in the morning. And I have a promise for every mother who mourns as she reads this writing. Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted. Also Isaiah 49:25, I will contend with those who contend with thee and I will save your children.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

I am seeing miracles with Mary Elisabeth and I am so full of JOY. I talked to MaryL on the phone this morning and she said, “Connie, have you written about this to the ladies on the email?” and I said, “Well, I am just so full of JOY, I don’t know if I can write.” It’s like I have a JOY I can’t contain. Last night I had wonderful dreams about the Lord. That I was with the Israelites in the wilderness when the spies came back. And the two spies full of faith brought back these huge grapes. And I could see an angel building me a tabernacle in the wilderness. The dream was full of the colors of the harvest.

Well, MaryL and her family are having such miracles, too, as this is the time for miracles. Her stepson Bill had cancer — Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. I probably spelled it wrong. Anyway, doctors gave him a death sentence months ago. Lately he had a scan and they can’t find any cancer at all. We are all so excited about that, too.

Anyway, my Mary Elisabeth is being set free. I talked to her on the phone yesterday as she cried. She told me how much she missed Brandon but that he had already divorced her. Anyway, they have a mutual friend that they are talking through right now, and you can tell that Mary is trying to get back with Brandon and he is trying to get with her. Anyway, the Lord told me to tell Mary about some miracles in my marriage that she has never heard before. Of course, my before life was so bad that it made anything she is going through look like a Sunday school picnic. I wouldn’t even say on here what I told her. But my life could scoop anyone out.

This morning as I got up, I picked up my Bible and read Psalms 78. It tells the forefathers to tell the next generation all the great works they had seen. And we are to pass these stories on. Well, I passed some doozies on to Mary yesterday. This morning when I awoke I came out here in the dining room and, oh, the glory of the Lord is here. I feel so set free. I actually slept in peace last night.

It is a time of harvest and a time for miracles. It is 2006 and the 6th year is the year, in the Bible, of plenty. Because the 7th year is the year to let the land rest. Also in the Jewish calendar, October is like our January. It is the month of new beginnings. It’s HARVEST TIME … it’s the time to gather in what we have prayed for. And my miracle happened yesterday on Jim’s birthday. Also we had gotten this house in October of 1973 and Jim was set free in October of 1979.

I am just so full of Joy and I can’t hardly function. I needed to write to understand how to maintain my JOY. And the Lord is telling me to have patience in it.

One other thing MaryL age 78 and I talked about is this. Ya know I was basically the only one who was standing in faith for Mary and Brandon. I mean, I know you girls were, too, and Jill and MaryL and a few others. Thank you! But, oh, the lies I had to come up against. It was unreal. Brandon has about … well, at least a hundred relatives in this area that were standing against Mary and Brandon. The deception and lies that flew around me were unbelievable. Then Mary began to believe them all and started telling them to me. Tryin’ to figure out all the lies was enough to confuse a stampede of elephants. I mean “No Duh.”

See, Satan is like a hoard of flies on a dead body. These flies fly every where. But the Truth is from God. Not the truth on are they on drugs or not. Or who is on what? For the believer the truth is God’s Word. No matter what they are on or not on. God’s Truth is that they will be healed. The Truth is the Word of God for the situation you are praying for. When Satan is in a situation, then the confusion reigns. And the prayer intercessor will be rocked to and fro. Don’t condemn yourself as you are confused, too. Just try with all of your heart to stay on the Word of God. But the prayer intercessor will go through much of what the person is going through that she is praying for.

A Fullness of JOY

See, my daughter Mary, age 21, will be about in her 40s when I pass on. I have prayed my faith into her and she is going to need my faith in the years to come. I have prayed for Mary for a long time but especially right after Jim died. I have not hardly had a peace at all for 6 months. I have warred against the devil for the past 6 months. I didn’t do everything right is what I am trying to tell you. But see, don’t feel condemned in your walk of faith. We often rock and dip with the ones we are interceding for. We walk with them through the valley of death. In a way we go through what they go through but where they have failed, we win. We win the battle in the darkness as we feel what they feel. We go to them in prayer in their weakness and we somehow help them up and we give them faith. We carry our own burden and theirs, too. I know we ain’t supposed to carry burdens or that’s what they say, anyway. But some Mothers and Wives are called as intercessors and they carry burdens. We have times of rest and peace where we lay our cross down. It is then that we are fed heavenly manna from the Lord to give us strength. We do suffer as Christ upon the cross to birth new life into our family.

My life is a design by God to be one leap of faith to the next. Jim was a miracle and John, our son, too. And now Mary, and all of my kids will come to Christ. And, yes, I homeschooled them and taught them the Word from the get go. I told Mary on the phone yesterday. I said, “Mary Elisabeth, you can never change the fact that you had a godly mother who taught you the Word of God every day of your life as a child. You can’t change that. You come from a godly seed. You come from good stock, Mary.” And she said, “I know that, Mom.” And see, Mary and I wrote Happy Housewifery Newsletter together. Mary Elisabeth was raised up to know the Lord and to be a homemaker. But see, through all what she has done it has been a main attack on me, too.

I have told folks, “Well, I may as well have been a whore and on drugs the whole time I was raising her. I have gotten the reward of wickedness.” My heart has been so broken, so shattered. But God told me, He said, “Connie, the only way the Truth will come out is if you don’t give up until you see the glory of God.” And this is how His will is done on earth as it is done in heaven. We battle in the realm of the Spirit to bring heaven down into a situation. We battle to bring God’s honor and glory to our family. We battle against Satan to live in His glory on earth as it is in heaven. We battle to loose heaven and to bring a loosening to the earth. We cast out demons and hold the door open for our loved ones to get through it.

And some of these mothers who write for the Lord somehow get lost after the kid reaches 18. Because their teachings were good but now they come into a different battle. Oh, we hate to fight it. The religious world condemns us if our kids ain’t perfect. “And they were homeschooled” they say. But the Bible says that when they are old, they won’t depart. It doesn’t say when the kid is 18 years old, they will be perfect. I mean some of your kids are perfect and I thank God. But mine ain’t. And I represent a lot of Moms out there who feel condemned to hell. And ya know Satan wants to condemn you and tell you a bunch of trash about your own kids or a wayward husband. But it ain’t any of the devil’s business what your family does. And Mothers of faith, take on the whole armor of God and fight for your kids. Man, it is hard! But ya know we have to toughen up.

The hard part of this with Mary and Brandon is that this is mostly Mary’s fault. That’s what has killed me. It’s just killed me inside. But I have to get back up and fight, anyway. I can’t let the devil condemn me to the place that I cannot fight the good fight of faith. See, the devil will just try to annihilate you, dear Christian Mother. He will lie to you.

See, the name of the game is that our families have to make their own decisions for Christ. But we can pray down a good atmosphere for them to make this decision. And we help them as prayer warriors to hold back the darkness so they can see the light. But now we can’t make a decision for them. And we best not try, either. As all we will get done doing is getting them out of their stuff for years. We must mainly pray and let the Lord handle these situations in the world.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

After a night in prayer, this morning the Lord reminded me of when I was pregnant with Jimmy. I had to go to the Free Clinic for my check-ups. The doctors there would tell me I was very small and wondered if Jimmy would be premature. But in about my eighth month, a more experienced doctor checked me and said I was fine. He sat back in his chair and said, “You aren’t too small — you just carry your baby like a lady!” The Lord reminded me of this as I prayed this morning. And the Lord spoke to me about long suffering being a fruit of the Spirit. I mean we can pray day and night when we are pregnant but we won’t have our baby until the Lord says it’s time. It takes about 9 months and if he comes any sooner than that, the baby isn’t full term or ready.

In the beginning, folks who really know the Lord told me, “This may take a while with Mary.” Jill and MaryL, who are mature Christians, said that, too. But I thought, “Man, I can’t take this for 5 minutes, let alone a year or more.” I mean I hear so much teaching on Now faith. But that means you get the faith in your heart but the timing is God’s. And the Lord speaks to me, “Connie, don’t let the devil see ya sweat. Carry this burden like a lady.” Well I am tryin’, Lord!

Ya know we plant the Word in the ground. But we don’t want to leave it alone and let it grow. We run out and dig it up to see if it is growing, huh? But along with long suffering and patience, we need self control. I mean wouldn’t you hate to see a criminal comin’ at ya with confidence and a willingness to never give up? Well, as we become this way to Satan, we scare him to DEATH. He knows we are confident and orderly in our attacks on him. We are calculating and full of wit in battle. Smart, cutting edge, not skittish but “head strong.” Full of the Word in season and out of season. We carry a heavy burden but we carry it like a lady. We refuse to bow to the devil or give him a place in our hearts. We don’t have to bow and won’t. We come at our foe silently and slowly. Confident and full of self control. Our Sword is gleaming in the noonday Son. Our shield is our covering. We are not guilt ridden as the blood is our Salvation. We are covenant women. We are headstrong with a helmet of salvation. We are visionaries and our mind is full of His presence and our hair is wet with anointing. On our loins (our wombs) we are girt with truth. This concerns the teachings on Keepers at Home. Babies and submission to husband. Our feet are shod with the preparation of Gospel of peace. Now if you were the devil, wouldn’t you be afraid of a woman comin’ at you who looked like that? Well, we ain’t supposed to be afraid of the devil — he is supposed to be afraid of us. And as we fight the fear, we fight Satan’s control over us. And when we refuse to fear, we are home free.

As Mothers of faith, we must carry our burdens with grace from Jesus. I know so many will say, “Give your burdens to the Lord.” But as the scriptures say, when all the babies were killed under 2 years old when Jesus was born, the Mothers could not be comforted. Any Mother with a child who is being held captive by sin can’t just give her burdens to the Lord. All she can do is carry her burden like a lady. As a queen fighting for her people. She cannot be comforted until she sees His glory. Any Mother who is totally at peace over her wayward children won’t fight for them and won’t see His glory. Those who don’t weep for the lost have no value in God. Without passion, a war cannot be waged or fought. But the Lord is showing me to quit shooting off cannons and stand strong with the full armor, fully confident that the war set before us is hard, but God is harder.

We have marching orders from the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He will fight our battles. Faith is the Victory that overcomes the world.

Love,
Connie

This morning, I was praying for Mary and Brandon. The Lord has encouraged me lately in my prayers. I have been breaking through and the clouds that would not rain are breaking up and mercy drops are beginning to fall.

Sometimes the Lord will allow us to see into the spirit realm to give us strength to pray. This morning, the Lord showed something very clear in the spirit realm. I was praying and fighting in the spirit. I was praying for Mary and Brandon and I could see a cloud over them, and I kept praying against it. And a demon spoke to me very plainly. He said, “Well, we were called to come here and to speak curses and lies over Mary and Brandon. We were told that God was planning to use them for His glory.” This little imp spoke as though he was commanded to be there in that Satanic cloud and that I had no right to tell his gorup to leave.

I spoke to those demons and told them that I was a child of God and that He who lived in me was greater then Satan in the world. And that at the name of Jesus every knee would bow and every tongue confess that Jesus is Lord. And I overcame these demons as I reminded them of the blood of the lamb and the word of my testimony and that I loved not my own life unto death. And the Lord showed me the great cloud of witnesses. He showed me that Satan’s counterfeit for the cloud of witnesses are the dark clouds of condemnation that comes against us believers. The Bible says that Satan stands before the Father and condemns the believers day and night. But the Lord has the cloud of witnesses spoke of in Hebrews 12:1.

Also the Lord spoke to me about the scriptures about raising a child in the way they should go and when they are old they won’t depart from it. The Lord is saying in this that the Mother who raised them who is a believer will never give up on them until they are saved. Yes, some kids learn quicker than others. But that scripture is putting confidence in the mother and her faith. God is counting on her to never give up, no matter what. Yes, you are to raise your children for Christ and continue to pray for them all of their lives.

The Lord has shown me that Satan planned on taking Mary and Brandon because I have been preoccupied with grieving over the death of Jim. Satan just went in for the kill. But, see, I think especially we who homeschooled our kids get so surprised when things don’t go right with them. But I think, actually, they are walking targets. It’s obvious that they will be used of God. Satan sees that. They were given to God, obviously, as He called a Christian mother to teach them the word of God. She wouldn’t even allow her babies into public school. She protects and prays for them as Hannah did. Then she gives them to God.

Then Satan comes in and sends all kinds of lies and accusations against this child. And the trick, above all, is to get the mother who taught them to fold and curse the day she had children. Satan gets her to give up and to use her own authority against herself. She changes her mind about homeschool and no birth control. Why didn’t she just have 2 kids instead of 6? Why didn’t she divorce early in her life and find a decent man to raise her children? So Satan wears the mother down — the mother who had started out with such confidence. He gets her to throw away her confidence that had a great reward. She quits and gives up and she loses her children and her own life. Homeschooling the children is just half the battle. But for your own sakes, dear mother, dont give up.

Whatever kid is driving you to drink, just plow into him with both barrels. Don’t let him take your life and his own life, too.

Honestly, this thing with Mary and Brandon has been almost worse than Jim dying. Not only did I lose my husband but Satan has tried to murder me with heartache over Mary. The devil has tried to kill me with a broken heart. People do die of a broken heart. But the Lord has come to bind up the broken heart and to set the captive free. The Lord tells me it will be step by step out of this hell but it will come. As I lay brick on brick, the Lord is leading me out into the light.

Last night, I talked toToot on the phone and I said, “If I had it to do over again, I would never have even married, let alone had kids.” Of course, I wasn’t saying that from my heart. But it’s how I felt. And I often tell people had I only had Jimmy, our first son, everyone would have thought I was a genius. But, no, I had to go ahead and have more kids and show them I was nuts.

Like Jimmy told me yesterday, as we sat and talked, “Mom, I have never smoked a cigarette in my life or done any drugs. I have made something of my life. I drink once in a while socially but not much.” He is the faithful son among the prodigals. Me and my merry band of children drive this guy nuts. I talk at Jimmy. Always trying to hide most of what goes on as he trys to dig it out of me. He trys to take care of me and tell me the obvious. As I look at him in a blank stare, I am thinkin’ “A fool has said in his heart there is no God.” Jimmy is politically correct and one of these days, through my prayers, he will see how futile this is.

But, see, Satan can’t destroy us as faithful wives and mothers. He puts these family members in our paths and, as we pray for them, we are set free. No mother is going to have joy if her kids are hurting. I don’t care how spiritual she is. Nehemiah was greived over his people and he helped them to go rebuild their wall.

Dear Mothers,

Yesterday I was talking to MaryL on the phone. She is my mentor and is 77 years old. Anyway, I was telling her a story and she says, “Connie, have you written this story on the email?” I said, “No, I hadn’t.” Then my friend Ruth came over later in the day and we were sitting outside talking in the yard. I told her the story, too. OK, here it is.

About a year ago, the devil had really whispered in my ear that our Christian Joy was a hopeless case. I mean she is a lovely girl and works hard at making PUNK ROCK outfits for the Yeah Yeah Yeahs! In some people’s eyes, she is a big success. Her band was on the David Letterman show, just lately. It has been very overwheming to me as her mom. And Chrissy and I get along fine, as she is very loving and supporting of me. And ya know, I just thought in my heart, “She is a beautiful girl and we get along fine but she will probably go to hell and I can’t worry about it. I have done all I could.” I thought she was my Judas in the scheme of things, a lost cause, really. I had lost all hope and I thought in my heart, “Connie, don’t tell anyone what you think but Chrissy is going to hell and nothing can be done.” And I thought, “Ya know, she will never find a man to love until she leaves NYC.” To me, this was all carved in stone and I wasn’t going to tell anyone about what I thought. I just thought this was my cross to bear and I wasn’t going to bug Chrissy or anyone about it. I thought, “I will just B.S. my way through with her but she is going to hell.” I thought it was signed and sealed by God.

So here comes Chrissy home about a month before her Dad died to introduce Jason to the family. I just went along as usual, tryin’ to keep peace in the family. I sit and listen to music with the kids and we talk. Chrissy says, “Mom, Jason plays the piano and I said, “Oh, good, Jason, please play for us.” He is a professional musician. Well, he has a regular day job, as all NYC people do, and then they play music and try to make it BIG. Most people who go to NY don’t make it big but leave it to my kids to do so. So, anyway, I fully expected Jason to play something worldy on the piano and he sat down to play and played the most HOLY Christian song I had ever heard. It was a song of worship to the Lord. Not an old religious song — no — but a song that touched my heart and caused my heart to sing again. He not only played it so beautifully but he sang from his heart about Jesus. Talk about being ashamed of myself, for not trusting in the Lord.

Jason has been an angel in my life. He and I sit and talk about spiritual things and Christian Joy doesn’t even seem to hear us. I think he is an angel disguised as Christian Joy’s boyfriend. Chrissy told me lately, “Mom, when I can’t understand you, Jason explains you to me.” I am like, “Hmmmm.” He reminds me a lot of Jim after Jim got saved. And Chrissy says he reminds her of me. I think he is just what God did. Jim and I prayed for Christian and I think the Lord answered Jim’s and my prayers and gave Chrissy a man who was like me and Jim. “Jim and Connie” seems to be written all over Jason.

Last night in the night, I felt so hopeless concerning Mary and Brandon. Oh, I just felt tormented as my heart bled for them. I tossed and turned all night in prayer. But this morning, as I write about our Sissy Joy and Jason, I know the Lord hears my prayers. He does not leave us forsaken concerning our children.

We Moms just suffer like wounded dogs lost in the dark. We raise our children to know Christ and some of these kids — ya just swear they are hopeless! But if God can send Christian Joy an angel for a boyfriend, He can do anything. Jason doesn’t even talk to Chrissy about the Lord that I know of. But she is used to me saying, “Oh, the Lord did this for me and that.” And so if Jason talks about the Lord to me, it isn’t foreign to her. It goes over her head — so far, anyway.

But ya know, we Christian Mothers are just tormented to death at times over our kids. No, not when they are young, usually, but as they get older. I mean we are bigger than they are when they are young and we can control them usually. But when they get to be adults, it’s different. I swear I planned on my last 3 kids being perect and when they weren’t — Oh, man, the Lord heard a wailin’ in heaven He has never heard before. (Well, almost.)

When David, my son of faith, left home at 18, I picked bleeding hearts flowers from my garden and put a bouquet where David sat at the table. Broke my heart! When he went on to have Baby Rose without ever marrying the mother, my heart tore out of my chest. Still he isn’t married and Jim’s and my heart just broke. But ya know what, dear Mothers? God is still on the throne.

Are we more worried about our reputation or our kids lives? I am embarrassed to death most of the time. But God must think I am worth something. I seem to have some amount of truth in my soul. And now Sharon is putting together another book for me. She says she needs it. I am thinking, “Who on earth would follow me if they had any sense?” I think of myself as the backwards Titus 2 mother. I am supposed to have kids I can brag on — well, I can brag on some of ”em. But God tells me, “Connie, if you will follow me and keep goin’ with the Titus 2 ministry, I will take care of your kids.” Well, God knows I need all the help I can get.

I keep reminding the Lord that the oxen that plows the field is welcome to eat all he wants as he plows. If he wasn’t plowing and workin’ his tail off, he wouldn’t have anything to eat. No, if I was to start teaching as soon as my kids were perfect, then that would be when Hell freezes over.

This little dab of religion we try to teach our kids often is just enough religion to bug ‘em and not bless ‘em. And ya know, our kids coming up aren’t like some of us were in years past. Our kids are dealing with a lot of culture that we never had to face. Our sons NEED to be sons of Thunder! We are raising sons now that have to be warriors and Revolutionalists. If we don’t raise our daughters to be stout hearted in the home and full of courage — oh, we have missed the boat. Some of us moms hate our kids’ lives. But didn’t we give our children to Jesus to train?

A lot of these tattoos and piercings seem to look so war-like to me. Is this our kids’ ways of acting out being warriors for Jesus? They are young; they have a certain amount of light. We can’t stand there and judge them according to our own lives. Man, I don’t even have pierced ears. I did as a young girl but I don’t now. When I was 9, I talked my Mom into it. And the neighbor kids thought I was a Gypsy. Anything to be radical, ya know? Even at 9 years old. That was in the 1950s. So that was pretty racy then. Well, and when I was in high school, I wore safety pins in my ears. Just to be bad. Then I forgot the whole thing and don’t even have pierced ears now. Christian Joy told her teachers at school I was a biker and had tattoos all over my body. Oh, that Christian Joy! I don’t have any tattoos. Thank God! But now Dan and Johnny, they have enough tattoos for all of us put together. And Jim put his own on when he was young. Stuff like “Born to Lose.” Well, that’s ok — I wrote “Nothing is impossible with God” on his heart. And that’s what counts, huh?

And ya know, in the 1980s when I was homeschooling, the teaching was that if your kid didn’t mind, just throw him out of the house. Boy, I was for that. But Papa wasn’t. I mean, I wasn’t heartless but I thought it would turn the kid around. And I thought it would be for a few days. But Jim wasn’t like that. Jim would say to me, “Connie, our kids aren’t any different than anyone else’s kids and they will be alright.” I would get all religious and want to go by the books about tough love and all. But Papa was so full of love.

And ya know, in the Old Testement, if a son was rebellious, then they were to be killed. Hmmm! But Jim dealt with his rebellious children as I had dealt with him. He walked with them through the valley of the shadows.

Our son John helped my mom yesterday with yard work. It took hours to dig this huge bridal bush out of her yard. After that, John had to go to work. My mom said, “Wow, he is a good worker.”

Oh, my gosh! I would have died to hear that in the 90s when John was so lazy I could have drowned him in gasoline. He was so lazy and would never take a bath. One day we were in the car with my mom and dad who thought I was nuts, anyway. And they said, “What is that smell?” And I said, “Oh, that’s Johnny — he won’t take a bath.” I would order him into the bathtub and he would fall asleep in there and then get out without ever washing. The other kids lived for this moment and would get a bucket of ice and throw it over the shower curtian on John’s sleeping head. I thought the boy was utterly hopeless and I cried buckets of tears. And wrote tablets of prayers to Jesus.

Oh, John is a precious son now. I couldn’t live without him. He and his lovely wife and son moved here from Missouri. They felt the Lord calling them as they said we needed them. And, oh, we did! Christine, John’s wife is as Ruth was to Naomi to me. God knew what He was doing.

Papa and God knew how to handle John and I was a grieved mother who could barley stand it. But I had to submit to Jim on all of this. He was never all that religious or taken up with the teaching of the day. I mean some of you, your husbands are like Dr. Dobson or like Mike Pearl. So it’s good that you follow this teaching. But my husband was not and I had to submit to my own husband as unto the Lord. Our husbands are called by God to lead us and we have to let them. They have a special calling to lead the family and we can’t interfere with that.

In closing, we as mothers must cast down our fears and evil imaginations. We must trust in God with our chidlren. And all of our children will be taught of the Lord and great will be their peace.

Love,
Connie

[In response to a question about how to keep peace in the home.]

We had 4 boys and 2 girls. I know what it was like, having to start work the minute my feet hit the bedroom floor — yes, up and out of bed early in the morning — and run like crazy until you went to bed at night. It’s hard on a mother with a big family. I cooked and baked from scratch. Had a garden to tend in the summer and we home schooled. Gee Whill-ickers! Talk about busy. And ya know, I am sure I made a lot of mistakes. Also my home was real peaceful at periods of time. Like when the older 3 kids were out on their own and I had the 3 younger ones to homeschool. Then the 3 younger ones grew up into their teens and then the house got wild and then it got lonely as the 3 older children got out on their own. But the mainstay in all of this for the wife and mother is to continue to submit to her husband as unto the Lord.

When you are raising children, the children won’t be perfect. They are learning to be Christians, and it isn’t peaceful when they are making mistakes and staying out late and rebelling. It’s hard but if you pray, dear Mothers, then God will answer your prayers.

Fighting the good fight of faith for a Mother isn’t fun and peaceful. Your peace has to come as you pray and trust in God for your children. You have to get up in the morning and say, “Ya know what? I have homeschooled these children and I have done ny best to raise them for Jesus. And now I am going to walk out my faith that each of them know the Lord. Maybe in different degrees of faith.” But your confession of faith has to be that you taught your children the right way and now God must act. His word says, “All of my children are taught of the Lord and great is their peace.”

If your husband isn’t walking with God, then still, by your obedience to Christ, your husband is sanctified and the children are holy. You have a Christian home, dear wife, if you are a Christian.

Ya know, in all the homeschool magazines, there are these perfect families. Well, thank God for them. But Good-night! Don’t we wish we were like that. But a lot of these parents are so easy goin’ by nature, and their kids kinda follow them naturally. Well, Jim and I weren’t hatched from eggs but we were shot out of fiery cannons. It’s not fair for us to assume our kids are going to be nice and happy to sit and read history books all day. I mean just because we want them to.

I mean, I wanted my kids to be perfect, too. And I thought they would be if I homeschooled them and taught them the Word of God every day. And ya know, just because a kid ain’t perfect at 18, it doesn’t mean the party is over. We are going to be praying and mothering our children until we die. But the way the Mother is to keep her heart quiet is by submitting to her husband as unto the Lord. And sometimes the husband is wrong. And that is a hard spot for the wife.

Generally we submit to our husbands daily. But sometimes if he gets way off we have, to just flip our gaze away from him for a moment and pray. But the meek and quiet spirit doesn’t come out of a woman because her family is all perfect. The meek and quiet Spirit is your submission to your husband and your trust in God. Jesus Christ has to always come first. He is the main man. Then submit to your husband.

Fear can cause a lot of damage in a home. It can cause things to really go nuts. But a mother who has faith will cause the worst of homes to become places of joy and peace. Fear will cause so many problems. It’s the air Satan breathes. You must hit the floor each day in faith, dear mothers. Keep your hearts for out of it is the issues of life.

Ya know how I told you the story about Jimmy, our son who drove me home from the hospital Sunday night. How he said, “Mom, I would like to get real upset over this but I know you wont have it.” Well, there was a second part to this story, too.

I told Jimmy, “Ya know, Honey, the old time Mothers were like that. They were strong. A mother who had children stayed calm, as to not upset all of her family.” I mean, you want to keep the faith goin’ and not let sorrow and fear take over. I told Jimmy, “Ya know, Gram (my mother) just cheered us all on when Grandpa (my dad) died. The Mother plays a very important role in the healing of the family. She has to hold them strong … it won’t do for the mother to fall apart. She is older and should have a handle on her faith. The young adult children don’t have the experience in faith to hold on when things go wrong.” And we Mothers teach our children valuable lessons as we stand strong when the winds of adversity blow.

We can tell our kids, “You need God.” But they are not impressed with that. Many times a mother must walk alone through the valley of the shadows to show her kids how to do it. Very valuable lessons are taught and cut into our children’s souls as we don’t fall when Satan pushes us. Oh, I am flesh and blood and so human. So full of fear at times. But if I was a naturally strong person, then God couldn’t use me. I have to be able to be easily touched by my children and my dear husband.

We want to be hard sometimes so that we cant be hurt. But God uses us mothers in our tenderness. We are married women and are helpers and not lady preachers. We are to get under our families and under-gird them with our faith and love. Not our perfectness, so perfect that we cant be touched. We are made from our men, their helpers. We should be strong to talk to the doctors and to let them know that we are capable of making it all the way through.

Miss Charlotte was such an encouragement to me in all of this. I wore a nice long winter coat to the hospital. “Conni, you look rich — your coat matches your eyes.” I knew that she was tryin’ to add her strength to mine. She knew I was worried about how we would pay for all this luxury. (By the way, I got the coat at the Salvation Army for 2 bucks. But it is a London Fog and is all wool and full length.) But, ya know, we have to be women of strength and dignity. I wanted the doctors and nurses to know that Jim had family that loved and adored him. And that we wanted the best of care for him.

I told his nurse, “Jim is much loved of his children and grandchildren. He is a wonderful husband to me. We have been married almost 40 years.” I was covering the fear that was in my heart and I really wanted to say, “Please don’t make any mistakes with Jim’s life — I would die without him.” But, of course, we are women of dignity, right? And we only open our mouth with wisdom and kindness is the law upon our lips.

Well, I need to get goin’ and see what needs to be done for the day. We as the Hultquist Family appreciate your prayers for our dear Jim. He is much better but still in Intensive Care.

Dear Mothers,

Good Morning. Didn’t ya love the writings Sandra sent in today? And when she described Susannah Wesley, didn’t that give ya courage to go on?

Susannah’s husband was in debtor’s prison a lot of the time. He wasn’t a bad man but he just couldn’t pay his debts. So Susannah was left at home alone much of the time to care for the children. She had 19 children and 10 of them died. I can’t imagine losing 10 children. I think Susannah herself was like the 24th child of her mother’s. Imagine if her Mother had been on birth control — we would have never known Susannah. But through her mother’s obedience and Susannah’s to God, she helped bring revival to England. Just by staying home and teaching her children.

Charles wrote many of the old songs we still sing in our churches today. Then John was the preacher who brought revival. Susannah was methodical in her teachings and helped start the Methodist church. But, wow, she must have had a good sound idea of what heaven was like in order to lose 10 children and still be able to get up in the morning.

That Susannah was made out of more than flesh and blood and skin and bones. She had to be living on the breath of God. Actually, she didn’t know about Salvation through the blood when she was raising her family. She knew the laws of the Bible. But then later on, her son John saw in the word of God about salvation through the blood and she herself became saved, too. But even when she knew only the laws of God, she was faithful to teach her children the truth she had.

I feel like this speaks to me. Because I did my best to raise my children for Jesus. With the truth I had, and always being a day late and a dollar short. Always on the skid like a street rat, at times b.s.-ing my way through when my moxie was long gone … not to mention my faith. But God knows my heart that all I want out of this life is to see my children all love Jesus and to live happy lives with their families. And, no, I don’t know everything like Susannah didn’t, either. But she learned as she went. And through her faithfulness to God to do what she knew to do, she made a difference in her world for His kingdom.

All we mothers are given is a day at a time. Each day we have to do what we know to do. We are human and married.

Ya know, the Bible says that a married woman cares for the things of the world and how she may please her husband. I was never as spiritual as some of my Christian sisters. I see things in my heart and can sense angels about me. But I have never seen angels in the physical, with my physical eyes. But ya know, some of us women almost live two lives. Like one of a married woman and one of a single woman who is given to prayer and spiritual things.

I lived sort of like that for the first 12 years of my marriage. I was a married woman but had no husband. But I gave myself to prayer and was used by God to win souls to Christ. I never ran around with men. I wouldn’t have done that. When Jim left me, then I submitted to him and ministered to others. But I played the part of a single woman who could give herself to prayer and witnessing. And when Jim came home, I abandoned this ministry to live only for Jim and my children.

It is hard to flip back and forth like that and I made many mistakes. But like Susannah, I learned as I went. And I pray the Lord will show me His mercy where I have made mistakes. But we all make mistakes on this road to holiness. And this is what keeps us hallow and heartsick to dwell in His presence.

His anointing can only come as we cry out with an empty heart for His Words. Some of us who have known Him for a long time live only from one touch of His hand to the next touch. We run from one anointing to the next one. And some of us are a gentle mix between that single set apart woman or widow who has given herself only to God and the married woman who has given herself only to her home.

The Imperfect Wife

And, oh, mercy! Ya know, we as Sisters of Wisdom want to get all of our rules and regulations set up and tacked down and then we go on.

I stand here today able to write because my friend Mary L prayed for me yesterday. Married and divorced and remarried. She don’t recommend it and I don’t, either. But having said that, I think some of these divorced and remarried women long so for a marriage and home, that they have something to teach some of is who have never been divorced.

I AM THE IMPERFECT WIFE. I feel like I had been divorced and remarried at times because of what I went through. So, at times, I can somehow let down my net and draw up the divorced wife and the married wife in the same haul. Having been there and done that I guess. Of course, Jim is my first and only husband and I wouldn’t recommend divorcing your mate. But Jim and I were separated many times. And then Jim got saved and we have been happily united now for 26 years. None of my number of years ever add up. Because we will have been married for 40 years at the end of this year. But we had the first few years of marriage that was somewhat peaceful. Then we had 12 years of separations. So I have become a gentle mix of 2 women. I know what it is to be abased and how to abound.

Jim now is the sweetest, most dearest man I know. His love for me and the children is so precious. Jim gives me a peace and a joy. He never pushes me to do more than I can do. I am a dreamer and writer. I need lots of time to pray and be alone with the Lord. And Jim understands this. And yet I wouldn’t ever think of not cooking for him and doing his laundry. Or being here for him to come home to with the coffee hot and a meal on the stove.

Jim loves the babies that came from my womb. My grandbabies are precious to him. We have invested many years of blood, sweat and tears into our marriage. When I lay beside my man at night, I know what is in his heart. When tragic things hit our home, I know what is in his heart and he knows what is in mine. And we work it out in silence, mainly. We don’t want to confess a negative confession over our brood. We plan on God delivering our children and making them whole and sound and in love with God.

Some of our kids are there and some are on their way there. But none will be lost to Satan. Not because Jim and I know what the heck we are doin’. But we love each other, we love our offspring. And we want to do right. And what else is there? We go from where we live and we do what we can to make things honest and right with our children and our world. And as I go along, I think of Susannah Wesley and her life. It wasn’t all perfect but God used her for His glory. I don’t think that any of her daughters were happily married. But out of her 19 children, she lost 10 and I think then she had like 7 daughters and 2 sons left. I think? Anybody know?

I had a book on John Wesley but it didn’t tell a whole lot about his mother. I am just writing from what I remember reading about her in other books. But Sandra will be sending some of Susannah’s writings and I am looking forward to reading them. Maybe, Annie, we could send these writings on to the letters group. And hopefully we can reprint them for the newsletter? You ladies on the letters group can write to me if you want to about this? Would you like the Susannah writings that Sandra will send in?

Love,
Connie

[By subscribing to Sandra's Yahoo group Yesterday's Wisdom you can receive quotes from writings of the past in your inbox.]

I think today’s Christian Mothers are almost called to be martyrs. The heartache seems so unreal at times, tryin’ to raise our children in Sodom and Gomorrah.

Aunt Toot and I have a friend, I will call her Patty. And while Toot and I were raising our children for the Lord, Patty was sleeping with every Tom, Dick and Harry. Sometimes her children barely had food, and her kids grew up to be wonderful Christians. Go figure!

Now, me, on the other hand, I had my kids up every school morning at 6:00 A.M. We started devotions at 8:00. We memorized scripture together and read the Word of God and prayed daily. Imagine my shock when Dan and David, the minute they were on their own, got tattoos. And Joy ran to NYC to design clothes for rock stars. And I could tell ya more but I won’t. Man, I thought I was dyin’ when that all happened.

In the old days, if you raised your children for the Lord, then they turned out pretty good. And ya know, it takes a lot of faith not to give up when you feel you have failed as a mother. But you do keep goin’ and keep prayin’ and the Lord does turn the kids around. Well, thank God! But ya know, it’s hard because you want to be a Christian witness and be a testimony for the Lord. But ya know, every kid isn’t going to come to the Lord at the same time. God has a plan for his or her life and it has to be played out. We as Mothers have to be mature enough to let the Lord have His way with our kids. And sometimes that can be a scary ride.

Dear Mothers. Good Morning to you. Oh Happy Day! I think it is such a healing to have happiness in our homes. To get about our Father’s Business. To cook, to wash, to sew.

We have been writing on the email about raising our children and not letting one rebellious child take over the family and ruin the Joy in the Home. The little ones need us and they want Mama to be happy and to play games and sing and have fun. And yet one rebellious child can just ruin the Joy and peace of the home. And as Mothers, we have husbands who come home from work who need our Joy and our cheer. Our husbands often face many trials at work and need to have a quiet place to come home to. So it’s Mother in the Home who more or less runs the show by herself when Papa is at work.

Oh, we live in a wicked age. And yet our need for a quiet, loving home is still so needed. Mother has to trust in the Lord. She must remain in submission to her husband. She needs to run the home according to how she knows her husband would want her to.

The virtuous woman is a woman who will trust in God and keep her peace. She is strong enough to keep her home running in order, even though hell is goin’ on around her. She has to pray as she goes. As she cooks and bakes and sews, she has to just trust in the Lord.

I speak in tongues and pray over my children. I go about the house as I do my work and call down the glory over my house. I call out to Jesus and pray the blood of Jesus over my children. I get their pictures and lay a picture of Jesus over the top. Saying to me that Jesus is doing a work, even when I have forgotten the whole thing. I don’t have any anointing oil here at the house. But I take cooking oil and rub it on the frame of the children’s pictures and I pray an anointing over them. My children have been raised with many godly family friends praying over them. God fearing people love our family and they pray with us over my children.

And ya know, often when I pray, I say, “Lord, I probably ain’t prayin’ right.” My grief and confusion makes me pray in ways that no Christian book I have ever read would promote. A lot of my prayin’ is “Lord help me Jesus!” But I guess I pray enough of it right, as He hears me and answers my prayers.

This evening, as I prayed, the Lord said, “Yes, things get bad but the devil can only go so far and no further.” As in the life of Job and in our lives, the devil can’t go beyond where God would allow. We as Mothers are tested and tried, yet we stand under His wings of victory.

As I write this morning, I look up at an old fashioned plaque on my wall. It reads He Careth for You. Be not afraid. “Only Believe!” Let’s walk today in the power of the Holy Spirit, and only believe and trust in Him. Let’s honour Him by our trust and faith in Him. Let’s make happy homes, as happiness is the oil that runs the home and keeps it moving smooth.

I know it’s hard, dear brokenhearted Mothers. Been there and done that. But God hears your prayers and He will answer them. You will see victory upon your children. I have seen much heartache in my family but many more victories.

Happiness and Joy

The Bible says, “Happy is the man (woman) who trusts in the Lord.” When Queen of Sheba came to see King Solomon’s temple, she noticed how happy the king’s servants were. Solomon had wisdom and built the temple with wisdom. I am sure he had problems as we do today. But the Queen noticed that everyone was so happy. 1 Kings 10:8. And the Bible goes on to say that the King built his temple with wisdom.

Only wisdom can build our homes and make them happy. Read Proverbs starting with the first chapter where it talks about wisdom. We as mothers have to build our homes with wisdom. Exalt wisdom and she will promote you. We mothers need the wisdom of God beyond the natural realm or the flesh realm. Reading the right book or listening to the right tape isn’t going to always help you. You must seek the wisdom of God to run your homes as Solomon did. The wise woman builds her home.

We must walk in faith. When your son isn’t home on time, well, ya wanna sit and cry. But what would Wisdom do? Ask her — she will tell you what to do. Proverbs says she speaks to us as mothers. She has a voice. Ask her what to do. She may say go wash the dishes and make a happy home. The strange woman is out there and she has a very obvious voice and the whole world listens to her and obeys her. She speaks to women in their soul. “Go get a job and leave this popsicle stand. No one is listening to you, anyway.” Yes, Jezebel has a voice and we hear her voice as we go about. She is the voice of fear and panic. One that says to give up — the problem is tooo big. But the voice of wisdom is a voice of love and Joy and peace.

The wise woman is strong and full of moral strength. She doesn’t fall when the other mothers do. She is strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.

See, the voice of fear is not the truth. The voice of peace that tells you that all is well, that God is in control? This is the truth. And as you walk in this truth and faith, then God can work and answer your prayers. As a believing Mother, all of your children will be taught of the Lord and great will be their peace. They will have peace and know the Lord. See, Satan hangs himself as he causes us to worry because then we pray the worry off and bless our children. Satan calls us to worry and to fret and to fear. And we need to nip him in the bud.

If you don’t know about doing spiritual warfare for your children, then, Girlfriend, ya better learn how? You get in there and battle in prayer until you have a peace about the situation. You get scriptures out and memorize them and renew your mind. You cast down vain imaginations and all that exalts itself above the knowledge of God.

Don’t let the devil condemn your children to you. If they have done wrong, they have done it under the wings of the Lord. He knows they did it. Sometimes ya don’t know if your child is lying or not, but God was there and He knows. Let God punish the child, as He knows the problem. I mean, some things are obvious and you would spank the child. But so many times, you don’t know the story. And tryin’ to get it out of the kids is like pullin’ teeth. So give it up to Jesus. If the child isn’t doin’ right, then sometimes the child will be used to directly come against the mother. Not that the child wanted this. But because the child is in rebellion and full of evil works, then the devil will use the child to hurt the praying mother with fear or some other work of Satan. The child that is full of rebellion may try to straighten up but can’t, as the mother is godly and the child is used to keep the mother from goin’ on in the Lord. But if the Mother will get strong and not pay any attention to the rebel child, then the devil will stop messin’ with the Mother.

Our John nearly drove me nuts. I mean, we were watching the 10:00 News on TV one night? And on the TV someone had taken a movie picture of John flippin’ a car over on the highway. Hello?

Spiritual Battles

Ya know, when I first began to homeschool, I was always under the gun. John just drove me nuts. He would go to the store and not come back for a month or so. I am not kidding. But I knew it was the devil tryin’ to get me to say “Uncle.” I finally just let him go and I quit worryin’ about it. He would have killed me with worry, for sure. And I would see people come up missin’ on TV and their loved ones would be handin’ out fliers, etc. The devil would say to me, “Well, ain’t you a nice mother — you don’t even go look for John.” Well, Jim and I had spent years lookin’ for John.

One day I just said “Forget it.” Then John would call from another state and tell us that Mexicans were shootin’ at him with guns. I would say, “Well, I can’t help it, John, you can always come home, ya know?” Well, hell, that wudda been too easy, ya know? And then he would show up and try to borrow a thousand dollars. “Where am I to get a thousand dollars, John?” Oh, that kid was beyond me.

Christian Joy tried to get him to live with her and we all tried everything to get John to knock it off, but he didn’t wanna. Now, at 30, he tells me, “Mom, I don’t know why I did all that stuff.” Well, I know why! Because I was one of the first homeschoolers to live in our city. And the devil wanted to persecute me and try to get me to quit homeschooling.

I am always stickin’ my stupid head up where it don’t belong and gettin’ it whacked off. And ever since I said anything about starting a Revolution, it’s been nothing but Hell. Well, no, I guess the devil don’t like it.

I mean, we as Christians, if we are worth anything, will be persecuted. But we can’t give up. And the devil is trying to stop some of you from homeschooling by using a rebellious child. But ya just gotta pay the kid no mind. I mean, do what you need to do as a loving mom but don’t let the kid run the house and break you down.

Ya know, many of you mothers on here really mean business with God or you wouldn’t be on here. This is not your fly by night group where we only talk about cooking tips and recipes. The homeschooling movement is the largest growing Christian movement in the world. And the News Media, for the most part, ignores it. As if the public schools are just fine. But there is an underlying power goin’ on with homeschool. God is raising up many boys and girls for Himself. And the devil hates it and wants you to give up and throw the kids back in the street.

See, we have promises from God but we have to pray them in. Some of you mothers right now are raising children that will be mighty warriors for Jesus. How many unborn fetuses at the garbage dump would have been like Billy Graham or John the Baptist. Mothers who were not strong for Jesus have killed many Prophets and Handmaidens of the Lord. Lady preachers have encouraged them to do it. But we as wise Mothers must be strong in God and not allow a rebellious child who has demons all over him to ruin our homes and families.

Demons sometimes will attach themselves to a child at public school and they bring the demons home to the family. We love our kids and so we will do anything in the world to see them set free. But if a child is ruining the whole house and is old enough to leave, then let him go. I let John go and he came back to me with such love and devotion.

One time he got put in jail. And we said, “Well, good, that’s where he should be.” He called and begged us to pay his bond and let him out. We told him, “No, you deserve it.” Well, what does he do? He calls all of our Christian friends and tells them that he is in jail over traffic tickets and we, as his parents, were so mean and wouldn’t get him out. I am homeschooling and John was homeschooled for 2 years. So I look like the village idiot. Oh, yeah, homeschooling works? How I ever homeschooled for 15 years is beyond me. Our Christian friends would call after John had called from the jail and say, “Well, we will pay the bond if you want us to.”

But ya know, I looked like the biggest idiot that ever homeschooled. Of course, while John was in jail, he called my mom and dad and even asked them to pay his bond. My folks were very against homeschooling to begin with. My mom thought I didn’t want to send the kids to public school because I couldn’t afford a pencil. The neighbor lady said that I didn’t want to send them to school as I didn’t want to get up in the morning. Actually, I was often up at 4:00 in the morning praying before I got the kids up at 6:00 for school. I worked so hard with homeschooling. And I did well and my children always tested out as being way ahead in their grades. David, in Math, was 2 years into college. But, oh, the persecution.