Dear Mothers,

I loved all the comments on the homemaking writings. Ya know, I do want to write about making our winter pantries coming up here soon. But for so many of you, I know that you need more writings against feminism so that you can be free to do your homemaking. Ya know, I was reading your email, too, Kim and Phillipa. Seems there is so much confusion in the world.

What the Lord has led me to do is to just stay with the marriage covenant concerning everyone around me and for myself. God said one man for one woman for life. I hung onto the marriage covenant and I hang onto it for those around me, too. I mean, I don’t care if it is the second marriage for you. I am hanging onto believing God for you and your second marriage. Well, not you Jill. But for most around me. I mean, I feel it is safe that way. I don’t want to sin by believing for a marriage that God hasn’t put His hand on.

The wise man or woman must build their house upon the Rock. The Rock is Jesus Christ and His Word. We as wives and mothers must build our lives upon the Rock and expect those around us to do the same thing. We can’t be speaking out of what we see but only what we believe.

I plan on loving and submitting to Jim’s memory for the rest of my life. I just want to be free to help mine and Jim’s children. I don’t want to give another man what Jim and I built together. But, of course, you younger widows on here may feel different and need a husband and father for your children. I sure understand that. And you are free to marry only in the Lord.

But ya know, that Brandon has been a stinker. Everyone says, “Well, tell Mary to divorce him.” Well, ya know, I don’t know the whole story. So I am not going to worry about it. I am going to hang onto the covenant. And if Brandon is truly without hope, then God will kill him. But ya know, Jim and I prayed over Mary and Brandon getting married and we felt it was the Lord’s will. They wanted to marry when Mary turned 18 and Brandon was 25. Brandon was a steady worker and had his own home and kept the lawn mowed. Brought Mary home always on time at 10:00 on weekends and 8:00 during the week. So we felt it was a good thing. Brandon said he knew the Lord and that marriage was for life and so did Mary. We all agreed together for God to bless them. So now that all hell has broken loose, I have felt like a chicken with her head cut off. But my only stability is to stay on the Marriage Covenant and let God do the rest. And ya know, if any husband is truly worthless, God can take them off the earth. He knows how. But I am not going to start changing the ground rules in my life because the daughter of my broken heart isn’t walking right with the Lord and neither is Brandon.

Jill and Dixie and I prayed for Mary to be born for 10 years. We knew I would have a Mary Elisabeth. I thought I would have her in April of ‘75 but I had Johnny. He is exactly 10 years older than Mary. Then I thought I was having Mary and I had David and then Dan, and finally Mary. Not that I wasn’t thrilled to have my boys, as I was so happy to have them and they bless me every day. But as Jill and Dixie and I prayed, we knew that I was to have Mary Elisabeth. And she was to be named after Mary, Jesus’ Mother, and Elisabeth. We knew that she would be used mightily of God. I really believe that she is a prophetess of God.

Phillipa, I remember when Jim was at his worst. Gone — heck, I didn’t know where he was. And Jill was in the kitchen late at night and I was upstairs prayin’. And God told me, “Jim will be a later day prophet.” I think this will come through my later in life writings now that he has passed. But I hold onto that vision of him and this is why I would never give up on my marriage. Like the virtuous woman of Proverbs 31, I will do Jim good all of my life, not his life.

But see, Phillipa, the devil wants me to give up on Mary and use my authority against God.

Trail Blazers

And ya know, Wendy? All of us mothers can tell from your writings that you are a godly, righteous wife and mother. You are like St. Monica and you raised your boys for Christ. You were faithful to be there for them and to homeschool them, even though we know it was hard financially to do it. Don’t think for a moment that God won’t reward you. I know those boys are rascals and your heart is broken for them. And the people around you are living in such sin. But, Wendy, you are a faithful wife and mother and you don’t have to bow down to any of this — and Phillipa and Alane, too. Well, so many on this group are faithful to God.

I mean, I know the way gets rough. But see, if we give up on God and His promises to deliver us and our children, then we swing our authority over to the devil’s side. Then Satan takes our authority and uses it against us.

Ya know, Wendy, I had a perfect friend with perfect children when I homeschooled. She and her husband live this perfect life and she had boys our boys’ age. Well, her boys went on to Bible college after high school and my boys got into smokin’ cigs and doing tattoos and pierceings. I laid on my bed in heart brokeness and cried my heart out. So I know how you feel. But everyone’s kids aren’t called of God at the same time. I am telling you girls something. In this world, the devil ain’t playin’. Unless you plan to be a bulwark for God, then just throw in the towel now. This Perfect Christian family I will call the Joneses didn’t have really the faith I had. I had to believe God for books each home-school year and the Joneses had all the money they needed.

I was so brokenhearted when my boys didn’t go to college. But see, God has called my boys as warriors for Him. They have a different calling. Even though my boys moved out at about 19, I am still heart schooling them as their Mother of faith. And they love their Mama. Dan still calls me Mama. My boys have disagreed with me but have never talked back to me. Well, Jimmy, our oldest son, has and John told him to knock it off.

My boys drink and they never saw Jim with any alcohol in his hands ever. Jim wouldn’t hardly take a drink of my Christmas Cordial. Jim quit drinking many years ago and never touched it again. Christian Joy’s Jason doesn’t drink at all, either. But, Wendy, ya know, Dixie used to have to take all those beer cans back to the store, too. She had more faith then anyone I knew. But don’t worry about it — just believe God that they are soda pop cans.

I don’t know why I even write all of this to you, Wendy, as I know you will obey God to the end, anyway. But I just want to encourage you and give you and Phillipa a high five. You girls just hang it there by faith. God knows His stuff.

I want to end this writing with a quote from Ralph Emerson. “Don’t go where the path may lead, but go instead where there is no path and LEAVE A TRAIL.” My Ladies on this group are trailblazers and I am so proud of all of you.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

Well, Mary got through her operation OK. I was at the hospital most of the day. I may stay home today unless she calls me.

I got to prayin’ on the drive home. I said, “Lord, I just feel like giving up and not even praying against this Lane in Mary’s life.” Of course, the Lord told me to stay on the covenant of Marriage. I said, “Well, Lord, Lane seems to want to care for Mary and Brandon don’t.” And the Lord said again to stay on the covenant. Then He said, “Well, you don’t have anything else to do. It’s not like you got another job and don’t have time to pray.” Oh, I thought that was so funny. So, well, I guess I do have a job of prayin’ for Mary. I am just letting her go. I am not going to argue with her. If she goes to live with Lane, I can’t stop her. The Lord will have to stop her.

But I need a good free Christian lawyer. Does anyone know one? Mary tells me that now she will get 30 days in jail because she never went to court when she was supposed to. In fact, she didn’t go to court twice and might have two sentences of 30 days in jail. But it would kill her as she is prone to staph infection. And they don’t take care of you in jail. And the jails are dirty. I thought the jails were better now but Colleen was telling me they are worse. Well, jails were always worse then prisons. But if you are prone to staph infection? But, anyway, people with money don’t have to go to jail, no matter what they do. But I can’t have Mary back in jail. So if anyone knows of a lawyer to help us, please let me know, OK?

Anyway, what I want to write about this morning is to stay on the Covenant of Marriage.

Ya know, we are living in such hard times. For so many of us, our world is so shaken. But what is sound beneath our feet is our God. Our God is not shaken and not worried. He is the same yesterday today and forever. Yes, our nation is at war. And we may get into another war, a Third World War. But we must remain strong and steady and not get off the word of God. Because who do we have to turn to except Him? This world, at this point, is gasping for air, clinging to driftwood in a rushing river. If we get off the Word of God, we will be there, too. No matter how hard times get, we have to cling to the Old Rugged Cross. It is the only stability that we have in this world. And it’s hard sometimes to cling to the Promises of God. Satan is always there trying to help us escape from the Lord’s commandments.

Yesterday, Mrs Trecek came down to the hospital to sit with me. She is 79 and an old family friend. Oh, what a doll! Her daughter Evie won me to the Lord when I was 19. Anyway, Mrs T. said, “Connie, you seem to be doing well. I thought you would fall apart over Jim’s death and never get back up.” But I told her, “No, I am at peace.” I told her that my home gives me so much rest and peace and it does.

I loved Papa so much and he is always with me, as Jesus and the angels are. Even Mary is so at peace, as she knows Jim is always in heaven watching us. The boys say that they dream of him often and talk to him in their dreams. Johnny said, “Mom, it is a gift from God that you are so at peace about Dad.” I think it is because Jim and I were so close and I just know he is OK. I just have a “knowin’” that he is with me.

I stayed on the Marriage covenant and it has served me well. I know I had the choice to run over the wall. But I chose to remain here and stay with this Marriage Covenant and to honor Jim all of my life. It’s a peace and stability. It is a gift that keeps on giving.

I keep getting distracted, as Mary keeps calling from the hospital. Anyway, where was I? I was trying to say, I guess, to stand up for the Lord, especially when your boat is rockin’ and reelin’.

Yesterday, as Mary laid upon the gurney waiting to go into the operating room, the nurse said to me, “You two must be mother and daughter, you look so much alike.” I said, “Yes, we are.” Mary told me later, “Mom, you look so young.” I guess it is because I have Mary’s look as I intercede in prayer for her day and night.

My heart continues to call out to God on Mary’s behalf. Calling upon the Covenant. “Lord, you promised that all of my children would be taught of the Lord and great will be their peace.” His word is so sound and so lasting. As the nurse came out to get me in the waiting room, she called for the mother of Mary Elisabeth. What a name and what a girl chosen for God! Now, as Mary uses the Lord’s name in vain, it breaks my heart. She is bitter and hurt and I am sent to comfort her in her pain and confusion. And why shouldn’t it be me? I am her Mother.

I stand in peace with God, so glad to have had a good marriage for many years. I know His faithfulness and also the world and its confusion. I had to learn slowly, as a new Christian, all of the pitfalls of the world and taking the easy way out. It is never worth it — no, never. The world has nothing to offer us but an empty shame.

I do cry and suffer for my girl. I have cried this morning. But I am also comforted by the Holy Spirit. Last night, I dreamed I was in a tigers den and the tigers were laying beside me. But they never harmed me. We as Christian Mothers are cast down but never forsaken. When I see this Truth, it is so big in me.

I look at this e-machine and I think, “I have so much to write about this.” Yes, we as believers go through trials but we are in a place where God keeps us. Nothing happens to us except it’s run by our Father first. As for the unbelievers, they are just “out there.” But for the believer — oh, yes — the hairs on our head are counted. All of our tears are in a golden vile. They are precious to Him. He never leaves us or forsakes us.

When I talked to Mary this morning, she said that before she left, the jail made her put everything she touched in a garbage bag. Even the mattress on her cot, her pillow, and everything. Yes, I can sure thank the Lord for staph infection. But poor Mary, so sick, and had to roll up her mattress and stuff it in a bag. Yes, the way of a transgressor is hard. But I tell Mary I am her mother and take no joy in her suffering. I walk with Mary through the valley of the shadows of death. I am a sinner, too. I just want to say to Jim, “Oh, Papa, I am watchin’ over your Baby and treating her as I did you. I expect to see the Lord’s glory in her, as I saw in you.”

Oh, dear Mothers, ya know what? The great cloud of witnesses in the Bible never tried to encourage anyone who didn’t want it. But we who stand upon His word as we stand in a hard place — the cloud of witness is there for us. As we suffer in a quiet faith, He is with us. When our lives stand in a dark place and it seems that the devil has proved to us that all hope is gone, REJOICE FOR YOUR REDEMPTION draws nigh. Faith is not real unless you can cry out, “I believe, God” when there is no hope or any physical reason to have hope. We stand in a darkness and shout into the silence, “He is my God who supplies all of my needs according to His riches in glory. I will not be ashamed when I sit in the gates with my children.”

I raised Mary for Jesus as a child. And I will not throw away my confidence in Him. No matter what Mary says to me that hurts me, at the end of every phone call, she says, “Mom, I love you. I love you with all of my heart.” And I say, “I love you, Betsy.” (Her nickname.)

I think of Mother Monica and St. Augustine this morning.

Mother Monica

Ya know, I know this writing today speaks to so many mothers. So many are called as Mother Monica was called. Her husband was not saved all through her marriage except at the end. He was a wicked man. And yet Monica was an example of faith to all who knew her. As she walked in the gates, she told the other women to be in submission to their own harsh husbands. And she was called and set apart to pray for her son. And ya know what? St. Augustine was no small wonder. His teachings on Christianity were what built the Christian faith. And ya know he had a mistress and an iillegitimate child. He was the pits. But his Mama never gave up. I mean, she didn’t just once in a while breathe a prayer for him. She was dedicated to him to bring him to the Lord. And I think of Suzanna Wesley who brought revival to England through her sons.

Elisabeth raised John in the wilderness to pave the way for Jesus to come. And, of course, Mary raised Jesus to be the Son of God. Well, He was the Son of God, anyway. But Mary was chosen of God to raise him. God didn’t pick just any woman out there who happened to be standing around with nothing better to do. The fruit of our womb is precious. Hannah mourned for Samuel to come forth. These Mothers in Israel have a burden for their people. And automatically, it seems, they birth prophets and kings for his glory. They don’t get to be holy mothers from going to church but they are called of God. They are mothers who automatically mother and nurture the body of Christ. And from their lives, and because of their lives, they produce either children or husbands for Jesus. It’s their holy calling and all of their gifts surround producing men and women for Christ.

And many are cutting edge Mothers and know that we live in very hard times. It is not the time of the Billy Graham ideas, etc. And, yes, he was a powerful man of God in his time. But our society has swung into a hell that I hope is the worst we will see, but probably not. We as Monicas had better know the signs and the seasons. And the children we raised for Jesus are precious to Him. But some are not raised for God because they are 12 or 18, or whatever magic age we decide the kid is hopeless at if he don’t read his Bible. Jesus stayed at home with his folks until he was, what, 30?

I was so careful over Mary. I loved her so and taught her the Word of God. Now she wants to sleep with a man who isn’t her husband. And I told her go ahead. I have to give my burdens on the Lord. I have to lay my Issac on the alter. But it ain’t all over until the fat lady sings. I am not afraid of Mary’s mistakes. I can stay in her presence and look Lane in the face. For greater is He in me than He who is in the world. Of course, Lane can’t touch Mary unless he likes staph and maybe this other rash she has goin’ on that they can’t figure out. I mean, thank God for staph. I know that if Mary would turn back to God, all of these diseases would leave her. But like Sarah who was taken by the King, she was protected and all of the King’s house was in danger of being sterile.

The Shepherd’s “staff.” Thy rod and thy staff do comfort me. The Lord is good!

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

This writing has been on my heart for two days. I didn’t want to write it, feeling that the ladies who are on a second marriage would think I didn’t believe in their marriage. I talked it all over with Aunt Toot. She knows I would fight for her on her second marriage as much as I did when she was married to Sitting Bull. I just feel we need to stay where we are. Like Aunt Toot says, “You can’t unscramble eggs.” All of my friends are on second marriages except for my friend Rose and me. But, anyway, I think this writing is more for Jen and me to give us direction.

The Lord has been having me study the book of Ruth in the Bible. The Lord shows me throughout scripture that, as a woman stays in her covenant of marriage, He is able to bless her. Naomie was Ruth’s mother-in-law. Naomie lived in Moab with her two daughters-in-law, Ruth and Orpah. All three of these women had become widows and Naomie wanted to go back to her hometown of Bethlehem-Judah. So the daughters-in-law were from Moab and Naomie told them to go back to their own families, too. Orpah kissed Naomie but Ruth CLAVE to her. Ruth wanted to go with Naomie. Ruth was young and was free to remarry as the law said she was free. But Ruth was the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 that said she would honor her husband all of her life, not his life. Ruth sensed that Naomie’s God was the true God and not the false god of Moab. And as Ruth served Naomie as the true wife of her husband, then Ruth’s life was taken care of. She was faithful to her marriage covenant. And God saw her and He knew that Ruth needed a husband. And the Lord was with Naomie and she could see that Ruth needed to remarry. And so she gave Ruth to Boaz. And in this, Ruth became the mother of Obed who was the father of Jesse who was the father of David. Ruth took her part in the lineage of Christ. There was a blessing in Ruth’s faithfulness to her first husband. And her faithfulness led her to the place of rest after losing her husband.

The Lord sets the solitary in families. Psalms 113:9 He maketh the barren woman to keep house and to be a joyful mother of children. Satan had taken all of these three widows’ husbands from them and they never would have had any more children. Or had any chance to be keepers at home again. But through Ruth’s obedience to stay with Naomie, even though she had the right to leave, she brought prosperity and joy to herself and Naomie. Naomie became the nurse for Obed. And Naomie’s friends said, “Blessed be the Lord who has not left you this day without any kin.” And they said about Obed, the new baby grandson, “He shall be unto thee a restorer of your life, and a nourisher of your old age. For Ruth who was better to you than seven sons has bore him.” And Ruth saved the day with her faithfulness to her marriage covenant. She could have left but instead she stayed in her covenant marriage and served her husband’s mother. And then she and Boaz continued to care for Naomie all of her life. So even though Ruth remarried, she was still honoring her covenant with her first hiusband as she was blessing her mother-in-law.

Ruth was a blessing to all around her and she blessed the lineage of Christ. She was a covenant keeper. On the day of her marriage, she promised to be faithful unto her death.

The whole Bible is a book of covenants. Our true God is a God of covenants. He decides and acts through His promises to His people. That if we promise to do “this and that” He will reward us. And God gave us a way out to get divorced because of the hardness of the heart. But do we want to stand before God and say, “I divorced because my heart was so hard as I had no other choice.” We are not to have hardened hearts but hearts of flesh. Hearts of love and forgiveness, hearts easily entreated. Hearts that can be reasoned with. Our Christian society is so seemingly unconscious to the marriage covenant of God.

The Marriage Covenant

Esther stayed under the authority of her husband the king and her Uncle and saved the Jewish Nation. She became the queen of Persia.

When Sarah was sold by her own husband to the king, she could have used this as a way out of her life on the road sleeping in a tent. But Sarah was a covenant keeper and she prayed and chose to be with Abe and his tent rather than to stay with a king in a palace. She didn’t quit because her husband lied on her. And had she quit, she never could have had her baby, Issac, in her old age.

Most all of the women God used in His Word were barren and had to pray to become pregnant. God called them to have children but they couldn’t in the flesh. They had to pray and not give up. Satan wanted them to give up and run out on the marriage promise. And had they done that, they would have lost their chance for a supernatural birth. And, for some, to be in the lineage of Christ. Hannah had every reason to give up and not pray for a baby and to run away from her husband. But she didn’t run. She stayed and waited on God. And God gave her the desires of her heart. He gave her Samuel whom she gave back to God and God blessed her with five more children.

God blesses the wife and mother who will honor her marriage covenant. The church will tell ya that as long as you give money, you will be blessed. But God looks on the heart and He moves by His covenants. He will bless the faithful wife and mother that won’t run out when things get tough at home. And you dear ladies on your second or third marriages. Please be faithful now and do right concering your second or more marriage. Divorce is not the unpardonable sin. Declare openly that you will be faithful to your second or third marriage covenant.

What bothers me is women on a second marriage trying to get everyone else to divorce. They make a god of the second marriage and try to get all the women who are faithfully suffering through a hard marriage to be like them and divorce and remarry. This is plain ignorance of the Holy Scriptures and knowlege of the marriage promise. Throughout the Word, without exception, those Christian women who stood on the marriage covenant through hard times were abundantly blessed in the end. Barren mothers in the Bible who didn’t give up on marriage or children were Sarah and Rebecah. Rachael, Samson’s Mother, Hannah. Also the women that Elijah helped and Elisabeth, to name a few. These Mothers were faithful to the end. And they raised their children under the marriage covenant of peace.

Mark the righteous wife and mother for her end is peace and prosperity. And all of her children will be taught of the Lord and great will be their peace. And if we are faithful to the Lord and His commandments, then blessings will come upon us. We will be blessed in the city and in the country. We will have many children and plenty to feed them. Our ground will be blessed and our wombs. We will be happy as we trust in the Lord.

Jen, I am praying for you as a young widow. You are doing well and just stay faithful to God. And He will bring you rest, either through another husband or through something else. But He will give you rest. He is the God of peace and rest. Just continue to be faithful as you care for your children. You are honoring Richard as you are so diligent to care for his and your children. You are doing well, Jen, and the great cloud of witnesses are clapping for you. They are shouting, “Richard is with us and he is proud of you.” Your path to victory, Jen, is to just keep going as you have been in a faithfulness to Richard’s children. You are honoring your marriage covenant and a blessing of hope and peace and prosperity is coming. All of your children will be taught of the Lord and great will be their peace. Rest comes, Jen. Weeping may last for the night but JOY comes in the morning.

Love,
Connie

Last evening, John and David came over with the grandbabies. They did some work on the lawn mower and we visited and ate supper. I always look those sons of mine over good and I look for something of Daddy in them. Oh, it is so clear.

I have John, who is older then David, sit in Jim’s chair. John says the blessing. Romeo sits beside him. “Romeo, sit up and fold your hands to say the blessing. Don’t eat yet,” John tells his son. And David gets after Baby Rose to fold her hands. They are men and they make sure the kids do what they are supposed to do. The wives work part time in the evening but I know that won’t be the case as times goes on.

The boys so honor Jim. I had told John that I had been so nervous lately. He said, “Mom, you don’t have anything to worry about.” John always says, “We are here for you.” There is a certain courage that Jim always mixed into his Christian walk. I think he got it from his Dad and somehow mixed it in as a Christian husband and dad. It was a walk that always said, “Don’t mess with my family.” Ya know, Mary has told Brandon, “My family reminds me of the Mafia.” She meant that as a compliment. No, not when Jim was unsaved and committing crimes but when he got set free and came home to be a Christian man.

Ya know, when Jim was out running as a gangster, he wasn’t right and did nothing but tear the family down. But when he got saved, he took a look at me for the first time and he says, “I am your husband and no one will ever take you away from me.” Before that, Jim had done all that you all talk about with your unsaved husbands. But when Jim got right with God, he became truly the tough guy. If his relatives came against me, then he quit comin’ around them. He would always say good things to them about me. I became his queen and his Baby Girl.

David said that him and John sat outside the other night and looked at the apartments that David is manager over. David says, “It’s unreal the crazy people here.” And he said that both he and John said, “Ya know, there are almost no men around here to run things — mostly women and kids.” David and John stopped a fight that night between a husband there and a street guy who came in the area to sleep in this guy’s car. This husband was a big guy and the other guy was small but had a can of pepper spray. The whole thing was a mess!

The apartments are nice and kept up. David does repairs and Tiff does the paperwork. Last night, as the neighbors gathered about outside as they always do, David announces that Tiff is having a baby boy. Oh, David is proud of that. They plan to call their son David James after Jim and David. And Tiff wants to put Isaiah in there, too, which I love. So maybe David Isaiah James. I dunno. But John says he wants another son and wants to call him Jessie James. Hmm … I hope he has a girl next time.

But ya know, John the Baptist was no Dr. Dobson. And I just think the disciples were a bit rough, too. James and John were called “Sons of Thunder.” Oh, yeah, there is a place for the holy monks and priests. But I think that some of our sons and husbands are called as “Latter Day Warriors.” I kept pickin’ up on this over 20 years ago as Jim went on in his life as a believer. Oh, he was such a warrior to protect his family. Church folks would worry over our doctrine all the time. But we had Christian people who tried to break us up like K has. But Jim had discerning of spirits and he put them in their place.

Jim knew his Bible but not as well as he knew his love for me. He became passionately in love with me and my children. I won his heart. And in so doing, I presented him to Christ. Papa thought I was Hot and that the Christian men at church were after me. Love is blind, ya know? And in our later years, he said, “I have seen those guys at the grocery store lookin’ at you.” Just old men but Papa worried about it.

Latter Day Prophets

Ya know, I know some of your husbands just break your hearts. But ya know, we don’t know their callings. I will tell you one thing. You take a man who has been around the block and got saved? Oh, that is a sweet aroma in a husband who is brave and full of kindness. A man who is fierce and mean to a world who could hurt their family and yet gentle as a lamb to his babies, that’s a precious husband.

Papa quit drinkin’ years ago. But the boys drink beer. A month or so before Jim died, little Romeo piped up with “Grandpa, you don’t drink beer?” I think Romeo at age 3 thought all men drink beer. Last night at the table, Romeo said, “Grandma don’t drink beer, either?” And I kid a lot about bein a moonshiner. But I only drink that at Christmas. So the kids always laugh over that. But Papa told his sons with a broken heart, “You guys don’t need that stuff.” And ya know, those boys won’t drink as they go. Because they idolized Jim and he was a good example.

Ya know what I fear the most is that I will lose heart and not ever get everything written about Jim? He was a piece of work. A handiwork that only Jesus could make. The Lord told me, years ago before Jim got saved, that Jim would be a Latter Day Prophet. I may not have raised him from the dead at the hospital but I plan on raising up his spirit through my writings. The devil has counted me out and gone but it ain’t all over until the fat lady sings. And I ain’t done as long as I have life and breath to sing.

We live in a new time unlike any other in this world. I am tellin’ ya, if ya plan on surviving, you will have to have a new vision. The men in the church, for the most part, are girls. And yet some of your men are very hard into sin. But let God have ‘em. Don’t cast away your confidence in God. Let God be God and every man a liar. You have been called as wives and prayer warriors to raise up men of God through your prayers. For the most part, wives, just drop your wayward husbands on their A– and let em go. If they live they live and if they die they die. Fight the good fight of faith through your quiet meek spirits. If you as a Christian wife are worth your salt to God, then God will protect you and give you a man to shelter you. If you are precious to God and you walk as Sarah, then you will be delivered. God will take care of you. But, ladies, we live in troubled times. Times to take on courage and to fight the good fight of faith.

God is calling warriors to stand for Him. It is the end times. Signs and wonders are all about us. The angels are so close to us but the demons are close, too. Greater is He who is in us than He who is in the world. But you can’t fight a battle of faith unless you are blind to the world’s reality around you. Trust in God and His reality. May His will be done in your home on earth as it is done in heaven.

Annie, I hope you will send your one writing about how you don’t worry over your husband’s sins into the letters group. That is so good. Annie and I laughed about this on the phone. My story was that a prostitute, in the old days, propositioned Jim right in front of me in our living room and I didnt notice it. I was so used to walking by faith that I saw no evil. I took off with the prostitute and left Jim at home. This was just after he was saved and he was soooo mad. This lady was a woman from church and I believed her when she said “She couldn’t help it.” Of course, Jim didn’t believe her and, boy, was he mad at me and her. The Lord finally showed me His hand of judgment on her and told me to get the heck away from her. I never saw her again except in passing on the street. But God knew I wasn’t smart enough to figure it out and Jim was left to sink or swim and he swam all the way up the river. Poor guy!

But if you have a wayward husband, quit bein’ his Mama and drop him on his head a few times. Yes, pray like a hound dog for him and then let him go.

This morning as I woke up, I thought, “Oh, I don’t have anything to write.” So I turned on the idiot-box (the TV) and they had a show on, telling you how to live with someone you aren’t married to. And then another show about how to explain dating and divorce to your children. I mean how to tell your children you are divorcing their dad and then how to tell them you are dating. OK? And I think I have nothing to write? I think if I just show up, I just guess I don’t feel like I have anything earth shattering to say?

Jill and Jane and I got together yesterday and had lunch. We had such a good time. Jane is Jill’s baby sister that was just saved, age 45. She came out of a homosexual lifestyle. Wow, what a grand testimony. Soon as she is settled, I hope she can get on our group. Right now she is staying in a wonderful Christian home — it’s a lovely old Victorian home. There are 8 ladies there that had been homeless. It looks like a home for nuns but more fancy. Jane is so happy there and is doing so well. Jill and I love Jane so much and we see so many wonderful things happening in her life. The lies told about lesbians is so dirty rotten. I can’t wait until Jane can really get on her feet more and more and can really stand up and testify about the lies and deceptions of the homosexual lifestyle. It takes your life and just destroys all of your confidence. As I see Jane change from a lesbian to a dear Christian lady, it is such a wonder of God to me. How much more garbage will this nation of ours eat before it’s all said and done? And I think I have nothing to say or nothing to write?

But I guess I am a part of a voice that is saying “Stop! Help! Don’t go any further!” to a lost and dying nation. I am now seeing Christians stand up for marriage on TV. I mean is there another message? It is almost too late. But I know God is always on time. I remember, years ago, being at a Christian home and we were all around a table talking. The couple whose home it was had a wonderful marriage. But there was a young man there that was also married but very discouraged about his ministry. I told him that his testimony of a Christian family was such a light to the world. And he said to me that being happily married wasn’t anything or a testimony. And I thought then as a young mother, “Oh, you don’t know the times or the seasons.” We must stay current with God and cutting edge.

Good happy mothers and marriages are the houses built on the hill. They are the lighthouses of the hour. They shine as beacons out on the sea of tossed and tempted sinners. They are drowning out there. They are rocked about with every wind of doctrine. They try to come up for air but can’t find a breath of truth and barely in the churches. A deep breath comes so seldom that they live, barely, on poisoned air that is barely enough. Only the truth told on marriage can save them.

Marriage is a picture of the physical that tells a story of the heavenlies. It tells of the bride and the groom. The bride is the body of Christ and the groom is Christ. The world doesn’t understand this, as the followers of Christ are telling them that God doesn’t forgive, as they see believers marry and divorce and remarry and divorce. The believers are preaching a false Christ as they are not faithful in marriage. The marriage of Jesus to His church or His people is to be the map for the life of a believer. No, everyone is not called to marriage. But marriage has to be the standard to bounce off from. It has to be our authority as Christ is our heavenly husband.

We are of the household of faith and God is our Father and we are His daughters. As daughters of God, we must obey the Father’s rules of His home. He has set Jesus up to be our Husband. We are to submit to our husbands as unto Christ. This is our holy work unto the Lord. It is to be faithful wives and mothers.

Sinners Saved By Grace

As we, as obedient Christian wives, walk out our places as loving submissive ladies, we tell the world what is going on in heaven. We show them the authority of Jesus as high priest and Savior of the church. To the unsaved husband, we are to walk as Jesus did.

Some of you wives live a life of a martyr, as Jesus did. He died for the unbelievers that mocked and cursed Him but He would not give up. He died not for the upright but for the ones who cursed and beat Him. He refused to come down off the cross and He certainly had that choice. But he stayed upon the cross by choice in order to do a greater work then to have a happy earthly marriage. His strength and sense of purpose kept Him at the cross. He was not held there because of low self esteem. He was held there because He had a knowing sense of purpose. He knew He was to bleed and die for the sins of His people. He could have called 10,000 angels but He refused and instead died upon the cross. 1 Peter 2 and 3 describes this. Christ died upon the cross and then Chapter 2 explains, “Likewise you wives be in subjection to your own husbands. That if any obey not the Word they will also without the Word be won by the actions of the wife.”

See, this is basic Bible truth and it has not been taught in the worldly churches of today. The lie is that we don’t have to suffer as martyrs. But the foundation of the truth of Christianity was established through the early Christian martyrs. If there is no death to the Christian, there is no life to the Believer. If we don’t die with Christ, we won’t live with Him. Except a seed die in the ground, it cannot live and produce fruit. We have proud flesh in the church of today that refuses to bow to the Holy truth of the Bible. The lady preachers that are taking over start out, from the first step out of their mouth, with a lie. They have refused to bow to the truth as keeper at home and the rest is downhill.

If we as Christians had a drop of foundation in truth, we would know, as we see a woman on stage taking authority over men, that we shouldn’t listen to a word she says. But, no, we sit there like empty headed monkeys, filling our head with deception. We listen to her and she begins to make sense. We think, “Well, I agree with what she is saying.” Well, she is saying some truth. That’s what makes the whole dang thing a deception, Girlfriend — it’s a lie with some truth to it. See, any woman with a true heart for God is going to be like a Mother in Israel. She will have a heart for the children of God. She won’t be preaching how to find your gifts as she dances on the graves of the unborn. She will want to be an example of Keeper at Home.

It don’t take a genius to figure out why our Christian society has lost its salt and fire. Mother has left the home, very simply. And what goes on when the conscience and heart of the home is absent? For one thing, the children lose their innocence. This is the why of homosexuality. Usually the children are molested. And then they don’t get healed in a right and holy way and then many of them grow up to be lady preachers spouting a lot of deceptions. They haven’t been healed in God’s way but only through the ways of the world. Through worldly counselors and through proud flesh that teaches them to stand up for themselves. But if we can’t bow, we won’t see His glory, either. Oh, some of you, the rate you are going, you will see glory but it won’t be the Glory of God. I see the preachers on TV trying to call the glory of God down. But to see glory without fire, without bowing, without sacrifice, without pure Bible truth and Holy purity attained through the fire? No, you will not see the true glory of God.

It was the blood and sufferings of Christ that has saved us and redeemed us. He paid the price. He did the deed. He didn’t have to. But he said, “Lord thy will be done.”

Victory in Jesus

If the Word of God is not our authority, then what is? It is the religion of the day. And what is that? It is follow the Word of God until it gets too hard. Then make up a good, self righteous story that will free you from looking like you bailed out. Wrap God’s Word around what you wanted to do, anyway, and tie a big red bow around it and call it done. And that works in the church today as it is so barren of the Word of God.

There is a famine in the body of Christ today. The water and the spiritual food is missing. The Bread and the Wine is missing. His body and His blood is no longer relevant. It has been replaced with religion and the outward appearances of the righteous flesh. The heart of God is broken. The Father calls us and we don’t listen. We die for lack of vision and His knowledge. We refuse to bow to Him and then we bow to the Prince of the power of the air Satan instead. We stand when we should be sitting down and we sit down in fear when we should stand up to suffer for Him.

Call us, dear Savior, into a Holy Place. Let us learn to bow and also to arise to Your Glory and Holy Truth. Let us take up our cross and follow You and be willing to die daily so that we can live in Victory.

It’s like a rubber ball. If you can’t hit the cement hard, then you can’t bounce in the air to Joy. But if you truly suffer for Him, then you will truly share in His glory. Weeping lasts for the night but Joy comes in the morning. Suffering doesn’t come to the Believer only for the sake of suffering. It comes as a door to Victory and Promise. It comes to glorify God and to show the world the suffering and triumphant Christ.

We as followers of Him are seeds of His and we will act like Him. We will forsake the reality of this world in order to act out the reality of heaven. We are not of this world and our reality is not in the physical realm. We don’t walk by what we see with our earthly eyes and our ears and thoughts. We cast down all the physical rules and replace them with His Word. If you don’t believe what I just wrote, then how do you explain heaven and the rapture of the church? None of that makes any sense at all to the physical senses. Jesus is going to come in midair and we are all going to float up to meet Him. And the dead will come out of their graves and meet their glorified bodies in the air? You believe that but can’t believe God for an unsaved husband?

Judge yourself now. Do you really believe God has saved you? Do you really know Him as Savior and Lord? Always there is Victory in Him. We glorify Him on earth as we fight His battles as His children. We fight with His spiritual warfare, with heavenly weapons fighting spiritual battles. And we win — we win our battles on earth — and He gives us a mansion in heaven. We will live forever in Holy Victory. We will go to a place where there is no more tears or sadness. Where there is not more battles to fight. We are all here for such a short time. And the trials are but for a moment. But if we fight our battles with courage and virtue, we will reign with Him forever and ever. Our trials are but for a moment but as we fight, we store up treasures in heaven that no thief can steal. And when we enter His Home, He will say to us, “Well Done Good and Faithful Servant.”

Don’t store up treasures on earth. But store up mercy towards others. Store up good deeds done that honors the Lord. He don’t want your money. He wants your obedience to Him. He wants your fellowship. He wants you to stay awake with Him and pray at night when He longs for your comfort. He wants your love. It don’t matter what you have done. He misses your presence. Don’t ya know He died for you? He knows all of your sins, anyway. Just tell Him you are sorry. Just tell Him Yes you did it and you are sorry. Call unto Him and He will answer you and show you great and mighty things.

Good Morning Mothers,

This morning it rained and I just laid in my bed and prayed. And me and Peggy Sue (my cat) just looked out the window and enjoyed the cool air as it blew through my open window. I prayed, “Lord, I think I have said it all on that email machine. I think I am done.” And the Lord reminded me of Jimmy (40), my oldest son, and a conversation he and I had about my writing.

I asked him if he ever read it. He said, “Mom, it’s hard for me to read. Because growing up, I didn’t remember you like what you write. Our lives were different than that.” Jimmy remembered me as a single mom. Somewhat of a little skinny Modern Milly, I guess. Then he has been putting some of the movie pictures that Grandpa had onto CDs — or is it DVDs — I don’t know. That modern stuff mixes me up. But, anyway, I know Jimmy spends hours looking at those pictures, trying to figure out how I became who I am now. He don’t say he beleives in Jesus as Savior, although he did believe in Christ up until he went to college. Then Christian Joy, who was born 7 years after Jimmy, remembers me as a straight up kick in the butt feminist. So she don’t understand much of my writings, either. And John remembers when Jim got saved, but remembers both sides. Then the youngest were born after Jim got saved and we all settled down and were half way normal.

When Jim got saved, I went whole hog or none and got pregnant 4 times in about 5 years. I had one miscarriage. Jimmy says, in the pictures when Dad was home I was pregnant, and when he wasn’t I wasn’t. Jimmy, being a very so-called sophisticated, educated, politically correct gentleman Democrat, has a very hard time keeping up with his Mama who never did wear shoes. In some of the movies, I am on my brother’s motorcycle with my Mom yelling at me in the background, “Connie, put on your shoes!” “Grandma was always yelling at you, Mom, to do something.” I was my mother’s worst nightmare. But then my last 3 children don’t know me for anything more than a saintly mother.

At Jim’s Memorial, Mary and Dan stood up to give honor to Jim. Jimmy told me later, “I am jealous that I never knew Dad like that.” It made Jimmy feel kinda bitter, I think. It’s water over the dam to Christian Joy.

But what the Lord told me this morning is this. He said, in so many words … You have gone through every marriage problem there was and I kept you safe. You were thrown in the furnace and it was turned up to very hot. But God kept you. He saved you. And when you came out, you came out without any scars and without any smell of smoke upon your clothes. “I, the Lord God, kept you and never allowed you to die in that furnace of affliction. You came out strong and ready to go again.”

I started out in my horrible marriage believing that God had chosen one man for one woman for a lifetime and the devil never convinced me otherwise. Now I understand that some of you here are divorced and that’s OK with me. But I can’t tiptoe around you. I have a story, too, that God wants me to tell. I believe anyone can make a mistake under pressure, and except for God’s grace, I wouldn’t have made it, either. And I wouldn’t even be standing here right now except for His Holy Grace. But the Lord told me this morning that He has chosen me to write on marriage because I had one husband and this is to be the standard. He told me that many out there have good marriages but they aren’t called to be writers. And many women have stayed married for a lifetime but hated their husbands.

Jim and I loved each other and put each other first up to the last breath he took. And I may not think that is much to write about or you may not, either, but it’s what He has called me to do. I know that you all who have been divorced and remarried have a lot to offer. My own mentor, MaryL, is divorced and remarried. She saves my hide all the time and prays for me and keeps me sane.

Forgiveness

And some of you women who can’t forgive your husbands for adultery or whatever? You ought to be ashamed of yourselves. Ya know, I am an old bride now. And I want to tell you something. What comes around goes around. You may have to forgive your husband for a lot in the first part of your marriage. But thank God because you will be setting up a standard for your marriage. YOU will AS WIVES make mistakes down the line in your marriages. We all do. Forget about any insurance in a home if you don’t have MERCY INSURANCE. Blessed are the merciful for they shall obtain mercy. If ya don’t pay your premiums on mercy, you won’t have any when YOU need it and you will NEED it. If you plan on being married for many years, then you will, in some time, need mercy. Because we all make a lot of mistakes. We just do! And when you are close to a man and you live daily with him, you will fall somewhere along the line. Be quick to forgive and to show mercy and forgiveness.

Wives, be tender hearted towards your husbands. Be to him what he can’t find in any other woman. Don’t ask out of him more than what he can give you. This idea of giving him ultimatums and all will work in a short time marriage. But over a long haul, it won’t. Be a loving, old time marriage partner if you want a marriage that will last forever.

Let God be God in your marriage. Let Him convict your husband of his sins. Be a loving helper to your husband and let God guide your husband by His Holy Spirit. See, if you, as wife and mother, sow good things into your man, then the Lord will give you good things. He will reward you and bless you abundantly.

I feel that the reason that I am not so grieved that I can’t get out of bed because of Jim’s passing is because we were so close. We kept such short accounts with each other. There was not unforgiveness in us towards each other. In fact, Papa would often try to take the blame, even if it was my fault and I was the same way with him.

Through my own carelessness, I about burned the house down twice. Papa never said one word against me. I felt so guilty! And I became so paranoid that I would surely burn the house to the ground before I died. So when we would go out the door to the store or something? I would jump out of the car before Jim even got the motor on, going back in the house to always double check it. “I checked it!” Jim would yell at me. “Well, I wanna check it again,” I would say. Then Wild man would say, “Oh, you worry too much.” I am thinkin’, “Well, I must not worry enough — I almost burned the house down twice.” But Papa never blamed me. He didn’t even want me to help clean up the burned upstairs. He said he would do it, that I couldn’t take it.

He tried to continually guard me from heartache. I had paid my dues of mercy. And Papa loved me so and never wanted me to ever be hurt by anything again, not even my own mistakes. The kids never blamed me, either, as they followed Jim’s example. Papa, who was the worst of husbands, became my prince and my knight in shining armor. He was my King on this earth and He washed me by the water of the Word.

A lasting marriage that glorifies God comes no other way then through the doors of humility. The marriage, blood bought, comes through the cross of Christ and is a picture of Christ and His church. Does He cast us out when we sin? No, He helps us back up, knowing we can’t make it without Him. The anointing breaks the yoke of sin. The anointing comes through our prayers for our mates. It comes when the mate does the unthinkable and the mercy drops begin to fall and to rain upon the sinner.

I could have blamed myself to death over those fires. But Papa forgave me for His own sake. He wanted me whole again. He wanted me to be happy and his peaceful wife, so he forgave me. And this is why God forgives us — because He wants us to go on and to do His will with strong hearts and full of His Holy Spirit.

Love,
Connie

Dear Housewives,

Oh, mercy! In the mornings when I start my day, I ask the Lord what to write about. If I am fresh out of ideas, all I have to do is watch Christian TV for about 5 minutes and my blood is boiling. What does get me goin’, though, is this. The world news is saying the same on one point as some on the Christian TV and that is about preparing for bad weather. That seems to be a warning across the board. That I am taking seriously. But one Christian show was on yesterday and this woman was on there talking about wife abuse. She wrote a book. It seems wife abuse these days can be just about anything. If your husband insults your cooking, then that is verbal abuse and you should walk out on him, even in the Christian circles. This is like someone pounding a post into my heart with a hammer.

This morning, a Christian show was on about finding another mate after you have been divorced. I wonder how the church can say some of this stuff with a straight face. This show this morning was talking about being crushed from divorce to start with, and then going out to find another mate who has gone through the same thing. And this wasn’t good to find someone else like yourself. Well, no, duh. But they still are for all of us who are single to run out and find someone. But ya know, what kind of a Christian man is out looking for a divorced, emotionally wrecked woman to rescue?

A Christian woman of dignity and honor isn’t going to be out there in the street waiting for Mr. Right to come pick her up. The virtuous woman is whole in herself and waits upon God to rescue her and be her Husband. Then if God sends her a husband after that, then fine. But the truth of the Bible is that if a woman is a believer, she shouldn’t leave her unbelieveing husband if he is pleased to dwell with her. But if he leaves, let him go as we are called to peace. But the Bible doesn’t say that you as a believeing wife are free to remarry. If you want to remarry, then remarry your husband.

The Bible says that we are called to peace. See, when Jim and I were separated, I didn’t want to go through life without a husband. I didn’t want Jim at the time. But I would not disobey God’s Word and go look for another man. It’s clear in the Word that we are to be married for life. It is clear that the Christian wife is to lead her husband to Christ through her holy behavior. Some of these horror stories on TV these women tell are horrid. But I can say clearly that I went through all of what they did and more. And I didn’t have to sin. I didn’t have to go against God’s Word in order to keep food on my table for my children or to keep myself safe. I was a true believer in Christ.

See, God knew my heart and knew that I wanted to please him. I was young and wanted a man to love and care for me. My heart was so broken by Jim at times that I could barley breathe. I didn’t eat for days, as I couldn’t eat, my nerves were so bad. But I would not sin against God.

Many times the winds of temptation came over me. But God would make circumstances happen as to rescue me. I didn’t have the will power at times to do right. And if it wasn’t for His unseen hand to rescue me, I would have failed Him. One time, an old boyfriend came to my house while Jim had been missing for a few months. I had really liked this guy, and was sort dipping in my walk with the Lord as I was young. But the Lord sent a dear Christian girlfriend to the house at the same time. Ray kept trying to get my friend Janet to leave. And she did leave and he did, too. Then he came back, saying he had left his keys at my house. I was about 23 years old. But the Lord had spoken to Janet to come back, too, and she did. And she stood with me until Ray left and didn’t come back. The devil had a plan for me that day. Jim had been missing for a few months and came back that afternoon to my great surprise. He would have found me with Ray.

His Word Is Our Truth

See, I loved the Lord, even as a young Christian mother. I came to Jesus when I was 19 years old. I had a horrible life before that. To find Jesus was the greatest happiness I had ever known. Oh, I loved Jesus with all of my heart. But ya know, I was young and wanted things to be right with my husband. And I had a horrid marriage! But I sensed a greater vision in my heart. As a young deserted wife with a child to raise, I sensed something greater would come out of all of that, many years later. I knew I would write books. Even at that time in my life, I sensed so much deception in the churches.

When I found out about submission, I was about 25. I wanted to make out fliers and hand them to the women at the Baptist Church. Because at the time, many of the women had never heard of such a thing.

I always felt like the last straw at church because, back then, divorce wasn’t rampant like it is today. At our church, I was the only one separated from my husband. This was in the late 60s.

I studied my Bible all the time and was always asking the Pastor questions at Bible study. He didn’t know what think of me. I was usually the foolishness that confounded the wise. I was very innocent and didn’t mean to upset whole churches but did manage to do so. And, oh, some people couldn’t wait until I left. But I had a vision that someday I would be a teacher and writer and I just wanted to make sure that in my temptations and trials, I did not sin against God.

Yes, my trials were hard. Rock Hard. But my heart’s desire was to be effective in my life for Jesus Christ. I could see, even as a young Baptist mother, that a lot of hogwash was being preached. I didn’t want to feed the sheep more garage. I wanted to give the sheep the truth of His Word.

Often, as a young Christian mom, I would become bitter and hateful towards God. How often I thought He had forsaken me. Oh, I would curse God and dare Him to make me die. I couldn’t help it. I was so all alone and felt so forsaken. My heart ached — my whole body ached with depression. But I would see a Christian mother who was down and my heart would go out to her. And I would say to God, “Lord, forgive me for my sins so that I can minister peace to this dear Sister in Christ.”

How many times, out of my brokenness and dispair, my heart went out to hurting souls. I knew I couldn’t heal their souls, especially when I was in sin. So out of my despair, I would repent of my sins so that God could use me to bring peace and the message of Salvation to a hurting lost soul. I didn’t live a holy life on my own. No, I didn’t. But I loved God more than my marriage. I wanted His truth above the world’s. I allowed God to make me into a new creature through many trials of my faith. Often, Christ spoke to me in my tantrums. “Connie, be still and know that I am God.” My point is that all I did was obey God.

The truth of His Word is so much easier to follow than this warmed over half baked goulash you have as Christian teaching of the day. And God Bless the local church. They do a lot of good works and the poor need to be fed and clothed. The church of today plays a part, yes. But Bible truth is no longer taught in most churches of today. So if you have to go to church out of obedience to your husband, then go. But at home, search the scriptures on your own and follow the truth on marriage and the family.

I have many church friends and I love them and they love me. At Jim’s Memorial, so many church friends were so precious to me. They have wept with me and walked with me and they are so dear to me.

His Way or the Highway

And mercy sakes alive! When I first got saved? I would stand with a beer in one hand and a cig in the other hand and preach the Gospel at he same time. (Ain’t ya proud of me.) And I cussed, too, and used the Lord’s name in vain. I forgot about that! Well, tell it all, Connie. I had hot pants on and high heels. OK, I said it. Bright blond hair, too. But God saw something in me, I guess, worth keepin’.

Right after I got saved, I worked in an office and got mad at this lady and threw her around the room and tore up the whole office. I was a maniac. But God kept me. I loved to street fight.

Once I got saved, it was like trying to stop a locomotive with a bike. I did really love the Lord. I wanted to be good but it wasn’t easy for me to do. I would stop smoking and drinking and then do something worse. My first Mother’s Day after being saved, for about 2 months, I had to go to jail. Oh, I cried and cried and thought God would never get me under control. I loved the Lord so much but was such a hellion.

I had worshiped the devil just before I got saved. So he didn’t want to let me go? I mean no one I knew of at the time worshiped the devil. No books had been written about it at the time. THANK GOD I DIDN’T WRITE ONE. But I knew Satan as a supernatural god. So when I met Christ and knew Him as the greater power, I knew Jesus was truly a powerful Lord. I praise the Lord for His overcoming power and anointing. She who had been forgiven much loved much.

And, oh, when Wild Man and I first got married, we fought like dogs. It’s a wonder we lived to tell it. Once he thought he had killed me but I had just fallen asleep, as I was sick and tired of it all. He packed his clothes and went to a neighbor’s and told her to come see if I was dead. I woke up laughing! Mary L says, “Jim had to go through prison to be married to me.”

So. Lest any of you think I was a saint, then, no, not hardly. But I can read! And ya know, if ya want the Lord Jesus Christ, then follow His Word. Walk with the Lord in truth. It’s so much easier than playing religion and tryin’ to walk with one foot in the world and one foot in the church. Don’t play with God and make His Word work for you and your life. It’s His way or the highway. Either you love Him and want to follow Him or you don’t. Choose you this day whom you will serve.

If you are deceived in the matters of family and home, then you are very deceived. God’s Word is built on the foundation of family order that is built upon Jesus the Rock. The church is to be built on family authority and order. Jesus is the Rock and we are to build our house upon the Rock. If we love Him we keep His commandments. You can’t live a life of sin and say you are following Jesus. If you don’t love your husband who you can see, then how can you love God in heaven who you can’t see? Your husband is the teacher God has sent to teach you His ways. Submit to your husband as unto the Lord.

Solid families make up solid churches. Many of today’s churches are made up of single, divorced hooligans that refuse to be under any authority. And that is not the way the church is to be run.

Our homes are to be our colleges as Christian wives and mothers. And one day, you young moms graduate and become the Titus 2 Mother. She comes no other way than through living it out in her own home. I had a dream and vison of this many years ago as a young wife deserted and forsaken. God knows His stuff. If you want Him and you want to go His way, HE will make a way for you.

This Christian life is hard to live. It’s supposed to be hard, Darlin’. If it wasn’t, we would live it on our own and we wouldnt need the Hand of Christ. Then we would be full of ourselves and not full of Him.

Love,
Connie

[In response to a question, "What are the building blocks of a home?"]

The foundation has to be FAITH. Faith and some more FAITH. Darlin’, if you want to have a Christian Home, then you best know how to get ahold of God.

You have a Christian home if you, as a wife, are Christian. God is in your home and is ordering your husband to care for you and the children. Maybe husband is wayward but, believe me, God has his number and he won’t go beyond God and His goodness towards you. God will protect you and the children always. As you love God and seek to serve Him in faith, God will bless you. Just look at your own heart, dear wife, and make sure that you are serving God with your whole heart. Don’t blame everything on an unbelieving mate. You are a Christian wife and God is going to care for you and your children.

And, ya know, I can barely walk and chew gum at the same time. So how do some of these women think they can work and rock the baby at the same time? No. If you want a home for the Lord, then go home and make one. Put your heart and soul into it. Follow the Word concerning keepers at home, as described in Proverbs 14:1. And get ready for the world to think you are nuts. Arm yourself likewise with the whole armor of God. Because, Girlfriend, the feminists will come gunnin’ for ya.

Ya know, I have been a homemaker for almost 40 years. And I will be dogged if I can understand the preaching of the day. They talk about the Christian women in the church having guilt and condemnation. And I don’t have that. If I get any, I rebuke it. I can’t understand the preaching of the hour to the Christian women. They tell her, “Well, just don’t be afraid — you will make it. Be vulnerable and admit you can’t make it and the body of Christ will help you.” HELLLLO????? Yeah, the sweet Sisters in Christ will help ya up a few times. Where would I be without my dear sisters who have helped me up? But you better know how to get your sorry ass up off the ground pretty soon, just between you and God.

The true believers, at this point and time, are sick and need help themselves. They don’t have the time or the emotional stability to help a lot of people. They do what they can do. We all are holding our own. But to build a teaching on “whose it will help ya” is a sorry message, indeed. I mean, many of us live in a war zone. I prayed all night to get as far as I am this morning.

But, ya know, it is Jesus Christ you need to lean on and know how to make it with. You can’t build a home without faith in Jesus Christ. If ya don’t know what MOXIE is or ya don’t have any? Then go get a shovel and bury yourself in the back yard. And kiss your sweet family good-bye. Because I am tellin’ ya, you are not going to build a home for the Lord without MOXIE. Luck won’t help ya! Times are hard and own up to that. And, ya know, ya need fresh manna every day? All the books written can’t begin to compare to His presence. If you don’t know how to get ahold of Jesus Christ on your own without the elders of the church, then just figure on failure.

I mean, I have been a Christian for almost 40 years and I am tellin’ you one thing, this society is not as it once was. There is a wickedness out there that is almost unbearable. It could deceive the very elect of God. Come out from among them to be separated unto the Lord. Live holy pure lives for Jesus Christ. Quit the religion and find the reality of Christ.

Ya know, today I got out Jim’s wedding ring and put it on my cross necklace to wear around my neck. Oh, wow, this ring is worn thin and tarnished.

When we first got married, I had gotten him a nice wedding ring. But a few years into the marriage, Wild Man threw the ring away in the ditch one day as he hitchhiked out of town. He was to leave me many times before he gave his heart to the Lord. Each time he came back home, by faith, I would forgive him and buy him another wedding ring. Somehow he threw them all away. After many hard years of marriage, he had gone through many wedding rings. I was ready to give up. Jill encouraged me to go buy yet another wedding ring for Jim. I said it was gonna be a super cheap one as I wasn’t sure he wouldn’t throw that one away also. I had so little faith left and I was so losing my heart of courage. But I used the little faith I had and bought a really cheap wedding ring at K-Mart.

Jim later was healed saved and delivered by the mighty hand of Jesus. About 10 years later, I told him I wanted to buy him a nicer wedding ring but he wouldn’t have it. He wanted the ring I had bought as it was special to him, the one he kept. He never took it off unless he had to. Then at the hospital before he died, they gave the ring to me. I will always wear it around my neck. Oh, it is so old and tarnished, just such a cheap ring. So special to me as it was the ring Papa kept. The one I bought with so little faith and the ring he wore for the last 26 years.

God had promised me double blessings for all I had suffered and Papa wore this ring through these blessed years. This wedding ring of Papa’s is so dear to me as it hangs over the cross on my necklace. The cross is really pretty and bright and the ring is so old and worn thin. But each time I look in the mirror to comb my hair, I see my necklace and I think of Jim and my faith and how faith is so loved by God.

Even though we feel worn out and feel we can’t go another step, we must go on by faith. Even though our hearts may be heavy, we must do the next thing by faith. Even though nothing but hard things are in our past, we must expect good things up ahead. It is impossible to please God without faith. And all things are possible with God.

Yesterday Jill came to visit and, as always, her visits are attended by the angels. I am wanting to write some things down that we talked about so I won’t forget it. One thing she said was that she thought Jim’s life will be even more powerful as he has died then when he was alive. Christine, John’s wife, has said, “Jim is a legend.” Wow, that gives me something to think about. Jill said a lot of things that I probably won’t write as they were so true but might be misunderstood. Annie has said some of the same things privately on the phone. See, a lot of the secrets of God that He gives His daughters — well, ya gotta be ready to hear it.

As Jill sat on my couch as we visited, I guess for the first time I took her seriously about her own life. I always wanted to fix it for her or tell her it was OK. I just wanted her to be OK. And yet I can accept her now as it isn’t OK and it ain’t gonna be OK, just cause I want it to be. God has an answer for her but I don’t know what it is.

See, she knew what I knew, we learned it together. The world kept telling her to remarry, give up, and finally she did. She knew better. There are many who innocently remarry as they haven’t really known the word of God. But Jill knew the Word of God and, out of fear, remarried. That has put her between a very hard rock and hard place. And yet she warns me not to do the same thing. “Honor Jim your whole life,” she tells me. “This is your salvation to honor Jim.”

Really, the truth of the Bible is one man for one woman for life. Boy, when I wrote that a blanket of the Holy Spirit fell upon me and I began to speak in tongues. The Lord says, “You women are daughters of God. If you have remarried, then be true to this husband as if he were your first husband.” Jill is good to her second husband and would never leave him. She is there for him but she has a broken heart. The truth of one man for one woman is the backbone of the Bible. If we as a nation would honor God on this one lesson of the Bible, we wouldn’t have ANY venereal diseases to deal with. AIDS alone is killing us.

But no, Jill doesn’t plan on divorcing her second husband. But she sure warns me. She sees my life in the balances as I do. Blessing and cursings cause me to teeter at times. But I guess I know the truth and I had better go on with it.

Jill seems to be caught some place in the middle of something. I mean, to her, she is caught in the middle of something. And yet I see her in a place of blessing where God alone is her husband. She is where only God can minister to her. And, of course, that is an excellent place to be and a place where miracles happen. It’s where no flesh has any place to glory in. The Spirit of God has to bring an answer and it can come no other way. How she can be confident as she stands in midair is a mystery to me, and yet she ministers to me.

I couldn’t hardly wait for her to lay hands on me and pray in the Spirit. And as iron sharpens iron, the countenance of a friend sharpens your own countenance. I did sleep last night without the nerve pills.

As Jill ministered to me, it seems as though I was reminded of the old time teachings I grew up on. Jill and I talked about the corruption in the church. Jill says that at church what do you learn? You learn to go to church. You learn that church is the answer. But it is Jesus Christ that is the answer. Jesus Christ is the answer whether you go to church or you stay home and pray.

We also talked about the virtuous woman and how she is one in a million and you won’t find her running in flocks. The virtuous woman somehow stands alone. And especially in this wicked generation.