Monday, December 18, 2017


pt 5 another conclusion

This is so precious because Jim walked probably 10 miles at least to go to
work…And it was winter and it was very cold…..i cudnt get him to wear a
hat back then..This was back when we were so young and so in love..We cudnt
live with each other or without..each other…Jim wud tell me he was
hopeless and i wud say “no you arent”!!! and i wud tell God i think my
husband is really hopeless..But me and God and Jim didnt all agree Jim as
hopeless together..Thank God!!love connie

pt 4 conclusion

i forgot to say in this writing about the gloves that this was way before
Jim was came to the Lord…This was when he walked to work and we didnt
have a car..We only had one child at the time..But as the warm weather came
and i looked at the gloves laying on the table as they had played their
part for the winter…i thot as i looked at all the stitches in the gloves
that it did mean something,,It was sort of a picture of our lives,The tears
and the mending each day..We were put together with Love and that was about all…But Jesus saw us and kept us going..Two accidents going some
place..Papa at his worst trying to tell me he loved me by walking to work
in the cold..And me trying to tell him i understood by. mending his gloves
every winter evening,,,And yet we were both so fragil from the trials of
life we had only love to live on..and each day we tried to do what was
right and what said “i love you”….He was to leave me many times after
this….And his deliverence came about 9 yrs later..But some how God
continued to give us faith in Him …By the every day miracles He kept us
together in Him..Love connie

PT 3 Wise Woman builds her House

I have had such a hard time writing for these past months..i want to write
but nothing comes to me..i want the anointing ..need that Holy Spirit
anointing..But it seems a cold wind blows on my writing..A wind that blows
so hard..Its like i feel peppered by rocks depression and fear..Wud i
want to write about this..well not hardly..But it seems Jim and i bounced
off of each other. But now there is no Jim to bounce off from..i have
wondered “What now Lord..what am i to do.”? i keep trying to accept the
fact that Jim is gone..and i try to forget him..But Jim is not forgetable
…Oh Mercy will this Love Story NEVER end?? well it never has ended and
probably never will.. And yet i cant just sit here and wait to go to
Heaven..i stopped just now to read my Bible..i think the Lord is saying
that Jim was far far more to me then just a husband..He and i some how
represented a new order or a new way of life..We represent a Godly
home,,,We have seen the Dr Dobsons message..and thank God for it but what
does it have to do with now? Our world has changed alot since Billy Graham
preached the Gospel..Oh yes i love Bill Graham… and his wifes writings
were some of my favorites.. But it seems there is a new world order
coming…And we Christians will have to begin a new life..At this point we
have to go back, to the land..We have become like John the Baptist..We cry
out to God in the wilderness.. And God calls back to us..And we get our
message from God alone..i think its like we will get our message by special
revelation.. In other words the Lord will speak to our hearts..more and
give us what we need from His hand.. There will be roots ..deep roots that
will teach us..i feel like Dixie was a root..She stayed on her farm and she
listened to the Holy Spirit..And yrs ago i had a vision ..The Lord spoke to
my heart that i was a writer..And i saw myself go over to Dixies
garden..And i laid upon it and the Lord filled me with the Words to
write..The Lord showed me to cry after WISDOM.. Every wise woman builds her
house but the foolish woman tears it down with her hands..Prov 14;1..

pt 1 Called of God to be a Wife

Chrissy called today from NYC..She is such an artist,,And she sure helped
me with some advice.. She has always told me to never create for money..Or
in other words dont let money dictate to you how to create something..Its
good if you can make money at it…But dont create something only to sell
..To your own self be true in what you created..Does it say something about
who you truely are..Most artists are trail blazors.. they have a message..i
have things in my heart that i dont say..i bet the Lord wont let me get
away with that either..He has called me to be a writer.. Oh so here is what
is in my heart ..Maybe whats in my heart will make you love your husband
more,,i dont know..But here it is and what it says i dont know..My heart is
so grieved and i pine so for my husband Jim.. i want to shut the world off
and just write about Jim…i cant stop loving him..When he first died it
wasnt so hard to take..i some how kept going..But lately its so much
harder..Grief is so hard to is never predictable.. i tried
to enjoy the day today with my neighbor lady friend up the street..But my
heart is so heavy all the time for Jim.. Well i had 6 children with him and
i had one miscarriage..Papa was so grieved he wrote the date down in our
family Bible..Oh Papa and i grew up together..i was 18 and he was 25..i was
priveleged to help him..i was called of God to walk in that prison he was
in and marry him..It was my privelege..We women are called as helpmates to
our men..We are called to tame them down thru our love and our
forgiveness..This is why God called us to be creative helpers to our
husbands..We must encourage our husbands to work by being happy with what
money they give us..And a man needs to lead the family,,He needs to be the
head of the house..We as wives can be creative and make things at home…We
can learn to make the things we need..Not only to save money..But lately so
much of our food is filled with chemicles and it isnt even safe to eat..We
shud be able to make a good loaf of bread…Even white bread is better then
buyin it at the store..the chemicals make the bread last for atleast a
month..Homemade Bread only lasts about a week before mold starts to grow on

Pt. 1 A Mountain Mother….old writing of Connie’s April 15, 2002

Dear Mothers lately i have sensed the voice of a woman from the mountains.. last nite as i went to sleep i could sense her presence.. I have heard writers on tv express how they write fiction.. I am not one to write fiction..but i can understand how these writers come up with the characters in their stories..they just have this per…son inside them…Well this mother i am going to write about ..well i will call her Rubie.. The reason i am writing her down is because i know she has something to teach us…Well i will start..She spoke out of my heart last nite..She said “We live under more pressure and danger than you mothers do..I wouldnt dream of getting up in the morning and not submitting to my husband…I have so little materially and i feel so unprotected ..We live off the land ..and yet there is much crime around us.. And yet i have found a place of refuge in God and His word.. I hide in my husbands authority..My life is much more touch and go than yours is..I wouldnt dream of not submitting to my husband..Even a step out of submission could be dangerous for me spiritually..And yet as i submit i have a peace that passeth understanding.. I love my place of submission..My place under my man is a holy sacred place..It is there that i find a perfect peace…There are times when i dont agree with him and i cant submit..these are times that horror and grief dog me and i feel that i will surely die of a broken heart..I suffer so at these times ..there seems to be no medicine to heal my torn heart..It is not because of my disobedience when i suffer like is my husbands disobedience ..For a short itme i am left without a covering..its only a short like a time when i have no place on the earth to rest my head…But then through my prayers my husband comes back into line..My submission to my husband is pretty every day stuff for the most part..Sure, early in the marriage he would ask me to do something and then i would consider it and then sometimes i would submit and sometimes not..We didnt have much harmony in our home..Just alot of stops and starts trying to learn to walk out our lives togehter as one..Well now years later i have learned to walk in submittion on a pretty day to day basis..He and i have it pretty much settled in our hearts..Now i can look
away from him and be free to be a mother and homemaker too.. I have a strength as i just wear my submittion to my husband …Oh sure i still have to touch base with him often ..but i am no longer walking in fear that i am not pleaseing God or that i am out of submittion to my husband..I have a confidence in the Holy Spirit that i am where God wants me.. I am in a place where i can receive the miracles i need to just keep on keeping on..But i would fear if i was not reverent to my husband ..Some of you ladies think nothing of telling your husbands off and walking away as if nothing mattered.. I am here to tell you that judgement day will come for you on that unless you repent of it..Your husband was made for God ..he is Gods son..and you are Gods helper and your husbands helper…God has chosen you to bring your man to God in a deeper way..You are not here on earth as an end in itself..YOur husband is Gods son you are a helper and will find a place of power as you take on this yoke of helper …We as mothers and wives are not to be glorified in our homes ..the glory goes to our husbands from God…We must rest in this place is a holy sacred place..We must lay down our fears ….connie.

pt 2 Life is hard sometimes..

Well my testimony has gone out…That whole story of my life is hard to take sometimes..And yet i got so many good emails and some thru snail mail..from ladies who read my testimony..i think of when i was raiseing my children and how we girls had so little encouragement..i am so glad my life has been used to encourage the wives and mothers,,,,Still there is an ache in my heart when i think of my life..And ya know i know Jimmy was hurt by it too..And yes it is all under the blood ….Jimmy says he dont even remember it…Well i tried to keep all the bad part away from him and tried to make life seem normal..i didnt go out and get drunk or high,..I didnt have boyfriends in ,,never..!! i lived quietly ..and went to church and took Jimmy with me….i didnt have any more children until Jimmy was 7 yrs old…i thot the coast was clear and i cud have more children,,but itwasnt,,,This is a sad email..Well ya know i guess someone has to suffer for what has happened in our country of broken families..I am thankful that ican suffer for Christ..Certainly other women out there have suffered too..i hope i never have to give my testimony again,,But i will..i know i will..its just the right thing to do i guess…And we overcome the devil by the blood of the lamb and the Word of our connie

pt 2 You are my Only Sunshine

That afternoon Papa when you left for work ..i cried out to God to help me.. The house was quiet and i went over to the piano and played it a bit..And for some reason i decided to play “You are My Sunshine” i really hadnt played it before..i just thot i cud pick it up by ear..Anyway i started to play it and i knew it was a song to you my darling husband..And i played it many times after that day and i thot of you and our lives together as husband and Wife..And after i played the song i cud feel the sunshine again in my soul..As i played “You are my Sunshine…MY ONLY sunshine..You make me happy when skys are gray ….Yull never know Dear how much i love you..Please dont take my sunshine away.” i played that song many times for you my Darling..And one day my Sunshine was taken away.. .And the song was true.. you were my only Sunshine..The song continues…”The other nite Dear while i was sleeping ..i dreamed i held you in my arms..But when i woke Dear i was mistaken and i hung my head and i cried”,,”Jesus knew Jim how much time we had left at that time..i never thot i wud lose you ,,i thot we had many more years together…But we didnt …We did learn to forgive each other..because of Christ..and the bigger lesson was “No matter how hard the situation is can be forgiven.”.

Her Husband’s Heart

Dear Mothers,

The Bible says in Prov. 31:11 The heart of her husband trusts in her and he has no need spoil. In other words, she satisfies her husband and he has no need of outside vices. She is his Hidden Garden, his secret garden and refuge. He comes to her with heart in hands and vulnerable. As he knows his heart is safe, even though open, his precious wife has shown him many times that she is to be trusted and will not throw salt on his wounded heart. But she will salve it with her tears and her compassion. She trusts in God and knows that her husband is to be mete for the Master’s use. She doesn’t cry out to her husband but cries out to God in her prayer chambers. For she is the helpmate to her husband.

The Hidden wife is to water her husband with her prayers and her praise always. Husband is not her counselor but God is. Ruby is a secret herb of healing and a garden to nourish her beloved. Ruby is a rare flower protected in her husband’s house. He is her gardener, her husbandman. Ruby is to be trusted and her Gardener gives her back to her Father God. As husband’s heart trusts in Ruby, he lets her go to the Lord Jesus. And husband glorifies God because of Ruby.

Husband knows he has a rare and precious jewel. Ruby touches her husband’s soul, his spirit and heart. She touches something in him that no one else ever touched before. Ruby wins her husband’s heart through much tribulation. Husband tests her. “Do you really love me?” he wants to know. “Can I give you my heart? Can I give Jesus my heart?” Now not every man is like this, no. But to some lesser and more degree, they are.

She Births the Home

The husband is the foundation of the home, saved or not. The wife is spiritual and she births the spirit to the home and family. The father builds the home in the physical and the wife is the spiritual one who prays and births the Lord into the home usually. She is a creator and creates in the flesh many children and also she births in the Spirit. She is a fruitful garden and nourisher of life in the home.

The women in the Bible who had supernatural births also birthed in the Spirit. Sarah was barren but supernaturally gave birth in her old age and became our Mother of Faith. We are her daughters as long as we are not afraid with any amazement.

Sarah became Mother of many nations. She could have given up when Father of Nations sold her to the foreign king to mess up the lineage of Christ. But Sarah chose her Abe who had a tent and wasn’t sure where he was going. Not to mention he was a chicken and lied on her just because she was gorgeous. She could have lived happily in the palace with plenty to eat and a real bed to sleep on. But she went with Abe and became our example of the meek and quiet spirit. She had a way out but didn’t take it as she loved God more then she loved her marriage. No, she wasn’t perfect but she allowed God to perfect her. God chose her and Abe’s heart trusted in her. Did he trust her before he lied on her and sold her twice? Was he testing her and was God testing her to see what she would do? Getting sold into adultery was certainly pressing the edge. But Sarah landed on her feet as she trusted in God and not in her husband’s sins.


My Testimony

Dear Mothers,

I have been prayin’ this morning about what to write about. I wanted to get into more of the radio messages but feel led to give more of my testimony of a healed marriage. So many marriages are hurting and I just want to encourage many of you dear wives who are tryin’ to hang in there. Boy, it gets hard.

I remember a most discouraging time in my life when I was believin’ for Jim. A prison ministry told another ministry not to try to help Connie and Jim as they were hopeless. I called the home of the prison ministry and cried my heart out. I said, “How can you say that Jim is hopeless?” I felt so bad that a prison ministry that had seen it all could say that Jim was hopeless. They thought I was insane for putting up with Jim. Later on, after Jim was healed, saved and delivered, they had to eat their words. Jim ministered to the man who was the head of the ministry and treated him with respect. This man had gotten Alzheimer’s and Jim helped him get his groceries at the store. That was my Jim, a class act all the way. Jim was a walking miracle for all to see.

In the beginning, I thought of divorce and wanted to go to Bible School. But God had a different Bible School for me. A School of Hard Knocks. Later on, I could see parts of God’s plan and saw the reality of the hands on teaching. It became a glaring reality to me. “I don’t need a mission field. I have Wild Man.” Many women run from a mission to fall into a religion. Religion is a far easier set of laws to follow than to give Jesus Christ your life. Religion asks for money, or a portion. But true Christianity asks for the crucified life of the believer.

The husband is the main man and the foundation for the home. As we struggle through with him and not giving up, we learn the faith it takes to raise our children. God doesn’t throw away our lives and each of our trials are surrounded and shadowed by His angels. We are never in real danger. All truly is well even as we are falling off a cliff. Do we trust our Maker or not? Is His Word what we live on or is it the world? As Satan tempts us to give up and shows us the gold of the world, can we say with Christ, “I don’t live by that”? As we hunger and thirst in our wilderness and are suffering to find peace, will we choose the world’s peace or the peace that comes from dying to self? Not my will but His be done.

As we cling to His word, we are more than conquerors. Our prayers are answered. But sometimes the pressure mounts so much that we are forced to say with Christ on the cross, “Lord, why have you forsaken me?” God the Father was never any closer to Jesus then when Jesus was hanging on the cross at Calvary. And we, too, at times hang upon our cross and we swear to God that we are God forsaken. Christ forsaken. We feel as if we are orphans who have been left to die in our own blood. And God is closer to us then than any other time. And as our faith arises out of the blood of our lives, we cry out to God and our faith saves us. 1 Peter 2 describes the suffering Christ at the cross. In 1 Peter 3, it says Likewise ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands.

As we wives suffer and walk that lonesome valley to the cross of Christ, we are healed, saved and delivered by our obedience. As we suffer without a word of retaliation, we see His glory. As we don’t return evil for evil but we give good for evil, we will see His glory.

Oh, we will see the fruits of righteousness. We are to live pure lives in front of the unbeliever that they will see our good works and glorify our Father in heaven. There is no other way to save the unsaved husband, dear wives. We break their hearts of stone as we keep our eyes upon the living Christ Jesus. Yes, some men will walk the aisle out of a fear of losing their wife. But true repentance in the unsaved husband will come in no other way then through the suffering prayers of the wife.

Fervent Prayers

I really think that the Lord calls the wife to pray for her husband as no other person on earth will pray so fervently for the husband as the wife would. I think a mother’s love for her children is so strong. And Mother wants more then anything else to give her children a good and righteous father. She prays for husband as her heart breaks for him. But it is a double fervency of prayer as she prays for the children’s daddy. And the more children she has, the more harder she prays for her husband to do right. The mother who has given her body to Christ as a living sacrifice to have as many children as God will give her especially prays for her husband.

As Mother quits work and stays home to follow the Word on Keepers at Home, she adds more fervency to praying for husband as she and her children depend upon the paycheck. But all of this works for good as Mother and wife is sustained by her husband. Her prayers become especially fervent. And this is how the husband becomes priest of the home.

Titus 2 speaks of the older woman teaching the younger to be chaste and discreet. This means keeping your marriage bed holy. This means not using birth control and killing your children right in your bed. How can God bless that home? Of course religion says it’s fine and give the money to the church that would have been used to raise another child. Christianity says lay down your life and that means your sex life as well. Have the children God intended for you to have. Quit bein’ a big baby and get into the reality of Christ.

Dear Christian wives, all is well. God is still on the throne. He knows what He is doing. He is bringing your husband to the Lord.

Jim and I were so close the last 26 years of our life. If he agreed in prayer with me, it was as good as done. Papa knew me as no one else did and I knew him.

Some of you want a miracle like I had but do you want to walk the walk? I will tell you, yes, it was hard but not that hard. His grace was sufficient for me. Yes, it was. He gave me peace in the midst of my storm. I fell many times but the Lord kept me. I felt very forsaken but the Lord gave me His favor and delivered me and gave me a testimony. And He will do the same for you.


Marriage Covenant

Dear Mothers,

Ya know since Monday, I hadn’t been able to find Mary, our daughter (21). I knew she had moved out of where her and this guy was. But where she was, I didn’t know. Her cell phone was broke and I couldn’t reach her. I had barely slept at night. And yesterday I just told God, “Get Yourself another patsy — I am done.” I told God I didn’t even love Him. I have not denied the Lord since I was first married. I never thought in a million years I would ever deny the Lord like that again. But I meant it. I was out of patience and time and I didn’t care if God blew me up where I stood.

In the afternoon the baby took her nap and Olivia, now 5, was in school. I sat down and prayed. I kept seeing the angels about me. And God told me that if I would get up again, one more time, I would see His glory. I didn’t want to get back up but I could see I would probably go to hell if I didn’t, and I just decided to get up one more time and believe God. And right when I said to God, “I believe You for a miracle” Mary called me on the phone. It was just as though by my prayers I translated her through my phone. She says, “Well, Mom, I got to thinkin’ that you couldn’t get ahold of me.” She is very shattered yet and so I don’t yell at her even if I want to.

Also yesterday Jill sent me an email telling me not to deny the Lord in a spiritual storm. She didn’t know the circumstances. She is just a prophetess? Then last night, the devil came in for another fight with me. Well, the Lord is winning that battle, too. And now I have a steel pole of ornery down inside my being like a steel tree trunk growin’ through me. I prayed half the night last night and it was wonderful. The Counselor came to me and made things clear to me. After Mary called, I was happy for a bit but as the evening wore on, the devil had come back to torment me.

To make a looong story short, the issue with me is the Marriage Covenant. I didn’t know this was my problem — I just thought I lacked in faith power and this is why my prayers were not answered for Mary and Brandon. I know that I have such a strong calling of God upon my life and that Satan is trying to hammer it out of me? If the coming glory in my teachings gives me double for all of my suffering, then world watch out! I mean I am no novice in the things of God, and I don’t mind telling you I have suffered like a dog for the past seven months. I have been almost tormented to death. I lay in bed and pray I won’t have a heart attack and die. I have not suffered like this since Jim and I were separated.

God told me last night that many of the elect of God would be deceived in these later days. Satan has tried to rip out of me that Marriage Covenant. Satan wants for me to quit teaching this. There is so much power in the marriage covenant. This covenant kept me through many years of a horrible marriage. Satan gave me 12 years of hell and God gave me double blessings for my trouble in the final 26 years of marriage. See we had a couple years in the beginning of our marriage that was livable. So it all adds up to 40 years of marriage. But I am tellin’ you all who are in a covenant marriage to hold on and you will see His glory.

You know we have to fight for TRUTH. And God’s Word says, “What God has joined together let no man separate.” Yes, we can divorce because of adultery. But Jesus said that in the beginning it was not so. It is one husband for one wife for life. And Jesus said Moses had to make a law of divorce because of the hardness of men’s hearts. I remember Jill saying years ago, “Connie, I don’t want God to give up on me because my heart is hard.” And, no, divorce is not the unpardonable sin. Stay where you are in your marriage. As Aunt Toot always says concerning marriages with his mine and ours, “You can’t unscramble eggs.” Stay married and let God bless you. But I do believe that God will do a work in a covenant marriage that He can’t do anywhere else.

And as I have said before, MaryL has been my mentor for years. And she divorced and remarried and even teaches it. I know I keep her tied down and she keeps me from being too dogmatic. I mean that woman could pray a strong wind in the other direction. She gets more of her prayers answered than I do and all of her 5 children are saved. So I know God can bless a second marriage. But I will say that a woman who stays in a Covenant Marriage and is committed no matter what is gonna have a TRUTH on her that will help her to discern her way in this day of confusion.

There is a special anointing on a one husband one wife marriage. I have seen it again and again. It isn’t anything this world could explain. And ya know the devil would love for me to remarry. To put Jim’s picture away and marry someone else. And as the years would go on, I would forget what God did for me and so would my kids. But I have a story of a miracle. My husband was the worst man. I am tellin’ you the truth. The prison guards promised me he would never be anything but a criminal. Jim was demon possessed. At a trial I had to go to, I gave our story and it ended up in a local newspaper. And now God uses me to tell what happened to that man who was so lost and confused. And that by a miracle God delivered him. And we had 6 children, all of which I am proud of.

And, yes, Mary has some problems. But I have the rest of my life to pray for her and she will always be top priority. Not because I think it is a good idea to give her top priority. But because I know who I am as Mother, and I don’t give up on my babies. I will compromise with her and like her Baboon. I may have to eat Thanksgiving dinner with him. Imagine eating a Thanksgiving turkey with a real turkey? But I am gonna smile real big ’cause I know the end of the story. But one thing is true — Mary can’t be God in my life. And she will get all that I have but she won’t get me to agree on a divorce to Brandon. This is where the rubber hits the road. This is where the grinding grit is. And Mary may be stubborn and stay with Baboon. And if she does, then I will have to smile and go on. But I will not bow to this world and its idols. I have already been thrown in the fiery furnace so I know the Lord will get me out.

As for me, I must go with the Marriage Covenant, and not give up. It’s in me like a brand on my heart and soul. It is as a scar like the scars in Jesus’ hands. I learned much about Jesus as I suffered for many years for righteousness sake. The devil tries to use Mary, my dear baby, to slay me. To stop my writings and to stop any effect I would have upon Christendom. Satan picked the right child to do it, too. Satan couldn’t have set a better stage. But Jesus Christ can set a better one. The Bible calls adultery idolatry or a deception.

In this age we need Truth so much. I was watching a show on TV last evening. It was Christian TV for teenagers. Man, it was good! The preacher was young and he said, “Life is war.” And he was saying that the young people need to be Revolutionists. Well, yeah! I mean these kids were hot? I mean I can tell that these new kids coming up are lookin’ for the Truth.

Well, Baby, needs me and I should go feed her.


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