Dear Mothers,

The Bible says in Prov. 31:11 The heart of her husband trusts in her and he has no need spoil. In other words, she satisfies her husband and he has no need of outside vices. She is his Hidden Garden, his secret garden and refuge. He comes to her with heart in hands and vulnerable. As he knows his heart is safe, even though open, his precious wife has shown him many times that she is to be trusted and will not throw salt on his wounded heart. But she will salve it with her tears and her compassion. She trusts in God and knows that her husband is to be mete for the Master’s use. She doesn’t cry out to her husband but cries out to God in her prayer chambers. For she is the helpmate to her husband.

The Hidden wife is to water her husband with her prayers and her praise always. Husband is not her counselor but God is. Ruby is a secret herb of healing and a garden to nourish her beloved. Ruby is a rare flower protected in her husband’s house. He is her gardener, her husbandman. Ruby is to be trusted and her Gardener gives her back to her Father God. As husband’s heart trusts in Ruby, he lets her go to the Lord Jesus. And husband glorifies God because of Ruby.

Husband knows he has a rare and precious jewel. Ruby touches her husband’s soul, his spirit and heart. She touches something in him that no one else ever touched before. Ruby wins her husband’s heart through much tribulation. Husband tests her. “Do you really love me?” he wants to know. “Can I give you my heart? Can I give Jesus my heart?” Now not every man is like this, no. But to some lesser and more degree, they are.

She Births the Home

The husband is the foundation of the home, saved or not. The wife is spiritual and she births the spirit to the home and family. The father builds the home in the physical and the wife is the spiritual one who prays and births the Lord into the home usually. She is a creator and creates in the flesh many children and also she births in the Spirit. She is a fruitful garden and nourisher of life in the home.

The women in the Bible who had supernatural births also birthed in the Spirit. Sarah was barren but supernaturally gave birth in her old age and became our Mother of Faith. We are her daughters as long as we are not afraid with any amazement.

Sarah became Mother of many nations. She could have given up when Father of Nations sold her to the foreign king to mess up the lineage of Christ. But Sarah chose her Abe who had a tent and wasn’t sure where he was going. Not to mention he was a chicken and lied on her just because she was gorgeous. She could have lived happily in the palace with plenty to eat and a real bed to sleep on. But she went with Abe and became our example of the meek and quiet spirit. She had a way out but didn’t take it as she loved God more then she loved her marriage. No, she wasn’t perfect but she allowed God to perfect her. God chose her and Abe’s heart trusted in her. Did he trust her before he lied on her and sold her twice? Was he testing her and was God testing her to see what she would do? Getting sold into adultery was certainly pressing the edge. But Sarah landed on her feet as she trusted in God and not in her husband’s sins.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

I have been prayin’ this morning about what to write about. I wanted to get into more of the radio messages but feel led to give more of my testimony of a healed marriage. So many marriages are hurting and I just want to encourage many of you dear wives who are tryin’ to hang in there. Boy, it gets hard.

I remember a most discouraging time in my life when I was believin’ for Jim. A prison ministry told another ministry not to try to help Connie and Jim as they were hopeless. I called the home of the prison ministry and cried my heart out. I said, “How can you say that Jim is hopeless?” I felt so bad that a prison ministry that had seen it all could say that Jim was hopeless. They thought I was insane for putting up with Jim. Later on, after Jim was healed, saved and delivered, they had to eat their words. Jim ministered to the man who was the head of the ministry and treated him with respect. This man had gotten Alzheimer’s and Jim helped him get his groceries at the store. That was my Jim, a class act all the way. Jim was a walking miracle for all to see.

In the beginning, I thought of divorce and wanted to go to Bible School. But God had a different Bible School for me. A School of Hard Knocks. Later on, I could see parts of God’s plan and saw the reality of the hands on teaching. It became a glaring reality to me. “I don’t need a mission field. I have Wild Man.” Many women run from a mission to fall into a religion. Religion is a far easier set of laws to follow than to give Jesus Christ your life. Religion asks for money, or a portion. But true Christianity asks for the crucified life of the believer.

The husband is the main man and the foundation for the home. As we struggle through with him and not giving up, we learn the faith it takes to raise our children. God doesn’t throw away our lives and each of our trials are surrounded and shadowed by His angels. We are never in real danger. All truly is well even as we are falling off a cliff. Do we trust our Maker or not? Is His Word what we live on or is it the world? As Satan tempts us to give up and shows us the gold of the world, can we say with Christ, “I don’t live by that”? As we hunger and thirst in our wilderness and are suffering to find peace, will we choose the world’s peace or the peace that comes from dying to self? Not my will but His be done.

As we cling to His word, we are more than conquerors. Our prayers are answered. But sometimes the pressure mounts so much that we are forced to say with Christ on the cross, “Lord, why have you forsaken me?” God the Father was never any closer to Jesus then when Jesus was hanging on the cross at Calvary. And we, too, at times hang upon our cross and we swear to God that we are God forsaken. Christ forsaken. We feel as if we are orphans who have been left to die in our own blood. And God is closer to us then than any other time. And as our faith arises out of the blood of our lives, we cry out to God and our faith saves us. 1 Peter 2 describes the suffering Christ at the cross. In 1 Peter 3, it says Likewise ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands.

As we wives suffer and walk that lonesome valley to the cross of Christ, we are healed, saved and delivered by our obedience. As we suffer without a word of retaliation, we see His glory. As we don’t return evil for evil but we give good for evil, we will see His glory.

Oh, we will see the fruits of righteousness. We are to live pure lives in front of the unbeliever that they will see our good works and glorify our Father in heaven. There is no other way to save the unsaved husband, dear wives. We break their hearts of stone as we keep our eyes upon the living Christ Jesus. Yes, some men will walk the aisle out of a fear of losing their wife. But true repentance in the unsaved husband will come in no other way then through the suffering prayers of the wife.

Fervent Prayers

I really think that the Lord calls the wife to pray for her husband as no other person on earth will pray so fervently for the husband as the wife would. I think a mother’s love for her children is so strong. And Mother wants more then anything else to give her children a good and righteous father. She prays for husband as her heart breaks for him. But it is a double fervency of prayer as she prays for the children’s daddy. And the more children she has, the more harder she prays for her husband to do right. The mother who has given her body to Christ as a living sacrifice to have as many children as God will give her especially prays for her husband.

As Mother quits work and stays home to follow the Word on Keepers at Home, she adds more fervency to praying for husband as she and her children depend upon the paycheck. But all of this works for good as Mother and wife is sustained by her husband. Her prayers become especially fervent. And this is how the husband becomes priest of the home.

Titus 2 speaks of the older woman teaching the younger to be chaste and discreet. This means keeping your marriage bed holy. This means not using birth control and killing your children right in your bed. How can God bless that home? Of course religion says it’s fine and give the money to the church that would have been used to raise another child. Christianity says lay down your life and that means your sex life as well. Have the children God intended for you to have. Quit bein’ a big baby and get into the reality of Christ.

Dear Christian wives, all is well. God is still on the throne. He knows what He is doing. He is bringing your husband to the Lord.

Jim and I were so close the last 26 years of our life. If he agreed in prayer with me, it was as good as done. Papa knew me as no one else did and I knew him.

Some of you want a miracle like I had but do you want to walk the walk? I will tell you, yes, it was hard but not that hard. His grace was sufficient for me. Yes, it was. He gave me peace in the midst of my storm. I fell many times but the Lord kept me. I felt very forsaken but the Lord gave me His favor and delivered me and gave me a testimony. And He will do the same for you.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

I am getting ready to tell you about a story I heard on TV. It is so good but, not being a sports fan, I know nothing about the details of this story. I am pretty lame at knowing about sports so please bear with me. And if you know the details, please write them to me.

Well, there was this young man who won a gold medal for long distance running, I think. Anyway, he wins the prize and is showered with awards and all. And he takes his gold medal back to, I think, Canada? And after he had the gold medal for a while, they found out that he had drugs in his system when he ran the race. Steroids or whatever. And so they made him bring the gold medal back and he was stripped of his glory. So, anyway, a news person, of course, wants to interview his mother. What a dink! The news media loves to make a big deal of sorrow. And so this dunce asks this young man’s mother what she thought of her son being on drugs and losing the Gold Medal. And she had two words for this ignorant newsman. “He’s mine.” And when I heard what that brave mom said, I thought out loud, “Yes, he is God’s.” The Mother said, “He was mine when he won the gold. He was mine when he brought it home. He was mine when they found out he had drugs in his system and he was mine when he brought the gold back.”

Oh, man, I will never forget that story if I live to be a 100. This mother’s brave words said to me, “Our kids are ours and their sins are none of the devil’s business.”

Nothing can pluck our children out of God’s hands, no matter what they do. And, no, this is not true for every child. But if they have a mother who won’t let go of them, then God won’t let go, either. “All of my children are taught of the Lord and great shall be their peace.”

The Word says, “Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted.” If God puts a mourning spirit upon a Mother for her child, then she has the promise that God will deliver this child and that she will be comforted. A Mother who loves God will automatically mourn if she knows her child is in danger or not walking with God. I think it is in Ezekiel that God calls the writers to mark those who do not mourn with an X on their forehead and that they would be killed starting with the temple of God. Those who do not sigh and cry for their children in this age have no heart for God.

Yes, we have many days of refreshment and the Lord carries our burdens. Weeping lasts for the night but JOY comes in the morning. And I have a promise for every mother who mourns as she reads this writing. Blessed are they who mourn for they shall be comforted. Also Isaiah 49:25, I will contend with those who contend with thee and I will save your children.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

Ya know since Monday, I hadn’t been able to find Mary, our daughter (21). I knew she had moved out of where her and this guy was. But where she was, I didn’t know. Her cell phone was broke and I couldn’t reach her. I had barely slept at night. And yesterday I just told God, “Get Yourself another patsy — I am done.” I told God I didn’t even love Him. I have not denied the Lord since I was first married. I never thought in a million years I would ever deny the Lord like that again. But I meant it. I was out of patience and time and I didn’t care if God blew me up where I stood.

In the afternoon the baby took her nap and Olivia, now 5, was in school. I sat down and prayed. I kept seeing the angels about me. And God told me that if I would get up again, one more time, I would see His glory. I didn’t want to get back up but I could see I would probably go to hell if I didn’t, and I just decided to get up one more time and believe God. And right when I said to God, “I believe You for a miracle” Mary called me on the phone. It was just as though by my prayers I translated her through my phone. She says, “Well, Mom, I got to thinkin’ that you couldn’t get ahold of me.” She is very shattered yet and so I don’t yell at her even if I want to.

Also yesterday Jill sent me an email telling me not to deny the Lord in a spiritual storm. She didn’t know the circumstances. She is just a prophetess? Then last night, the devil came in for another fight with me. Well, the Lord is winning that battle, too. And now I have a steel pole of ornery down inside my being like a steel tree trunk growin’ through me. I prayed half the night last night and it was wonderful. The Counselor came to me and made things clear to me. After Mary called, I was happy for a bit but as the evening wore on, the devil had come back to torment me.

To make a looong story short, the issue with me is the Marriage Covenant. I didn’t know this was my problem — I just thought I lacked in faith power and this is why my prayers were not answered for Mary and Brandon. I know that I have such a strong calling of God upon my life and that Satan is trying to hammer it out of me? If the coming glory in my teachings gives me double for all of my suffering, then world watch out! I mean I am no novice in the things of God, and I don’t mind telling you I have suffered like a dog for the past seven months. I have been almost tormented to death. I lay in bed and pray I won’t have a heart attack and die. I have not suffered like this since Jim and I were separated.

God told me last night that many of the elect of God would be deceived in these later days. Satan has tried to rip out of me that Marriage Covenant. Satan wants for me to quit teaching this. There is so much power in the marriage covenant. This covenant kept me through many years of a horrible marriage. Satan gave me 12 years of hell and God gave me double blessings for my trouble in the final 26 years of marriage. See we had a couple years in the beginning of our marriage that was livable. So it all adds up to 40 years of marriage. But I am tellin’ you all who are in a covenant marriage to hold on and you will see His glory.

You know we have to fight for TRUTH. And God’s Word says, “What God has joined together let no man separate.” Yes, we can divorce because of adultery. But Jesus said that in the beginning it was not so. It is one husband for one wife for life. And Jesus said Moses had to make a law of divorce because of the hardness of men’s hearts. I remember Jill saying years ago, “Connie, I don’t want God to give up on me because my heart is hard.” And, no, divorce is not the unpardonable sin. Stay where you are in your marriage. As Aunt Toot always says concerning marriages with his mine and ours, “You can’t unscramble eggs.” Stay married and let God bless you. But I do believe that God will do a work in a covenant marriage that He can’t do anywhere else.

And as I have said before, MaryL has been my mentor for years. And she divorced and remarried and even teaches it. I know I keep her tied down and she keeps me from being too dogmatic. I mean that woman could pray a strong wind in the other direction. She gets more of her prayers answered than I do and all of her 5 children are saved. So I know God can bless a second marriage. But I will say that a woman who stays in a Covenant Marriage and is committed no matter what is gonna have a TRUTH on her that will help her to discern her way in this day of confusion.

There is a special anointing on a one husband one wife marriage. I have seen it again and again. It isn’t anything this world could explain. And ya know the devil would love for me to remarry. To put Jim’s picture away and marry someone else. And as the years would go on, I would forget what God did for me and so would my kids. But I have a story of a miracle. My husband was the worst man. I am tellin’ you the truth. The prison guards promised me he would never be anything but a criminal. Jim was demon possessed. At a trial I had to go to, I gave our story and it ended up in a local newspaper. And now God uses me to tell what happened to that man who was so lost and confused. And that by a miracle God delivered him. And we had 6 children, all of which I am proud of.

And, yes, Mary has some problems. But I have the rest of my life to pray for her and she will always be top priority. Not because I think it is a good idea to give her top priority. But because I know who I am as Mother, and I don’t give up on my babies. I will compromise with her and like her Baboon. I may have to eat Thanksgiving dinner with him. Imagine eating a Thanksgiving turkey with a real turkey? But I am gonna smile real big ’cause I know the end of the story. But one thing is true — Mary can’t be God in my life. And she will get all that I have but she won’t get me to agree on a divorce to Brandon. This is where the rubber hits the road. This is where the grinding grit is. And Mary may be stubborn and stay with Baboon. And if she does, then I will have to smile and go on. But I will not bow to this world and its idols. I have already been thrown in the fiery furnace so I know the Lord will get me out.

As for me, I must go with the Marriage Covenant, and not give up. It’s in me like a brand on my heart and soul. It is as a scar like the scars in Jesus’ hands. I learned much about Jesus as I suffered for many years for righteousness sake. The devil tries to use Mary, my dear baby, to slay me. To stop my writings and to stop any effect I would have upon Christendom. Satan picked the right child to do it, too. Satan couldn’t have set a better stage. But Jesus Christ can set a better one. The Bible calls adultery idolatry or a deception.

In this age we need Truth so much. I was watching a show on TV last evening. It was Christian TV for teenagers. Man, it was good! The preacher was young and he said, “Life is war.” And he was saying that the young people need to be Revolutionists. Well, yeah! I mean these kids were hot? I mean I can tell that these new kids coming up are lookin’ for the Truth.

Well, Baby, needs me and I should go feed her.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers of the Light,

Yesterday our Mary was to come over to see me and never made it. Her boyfriend told me that she was missing me so. And my heart cried to see her. This morning I prayed and my heart longed so to see Mary — to hear her voice and feel her presence. And the Lord quieted my heart. I listened to some mountain music. Then I picked up Baby Olivia and rocked her in my rocking chair. I put down an old quilt on the chair and rocked with Baby in the chair that Papa had bought for me for our 25th Wedding Anniversary. I rocked Baby but my heart had no song to sing to this little baby. As I cried so to hear Mary’s voice and feel her presence.

As I rocked, I thought of the old time Mothers and how they loved their homes. How they found comfort in their babies and their work at home. They quieted their hearts as they rocked in their chairs and counted their blessings of home and family. And the Lord spoke to my heart about the marriage covenant. To stand for it for Mary and not let go. Not to beg and plead with God, but to quietly abide in faith. His word says “What God hath joined together let no man separate.” Mary and Brandon are Christians half baked but believers, anyway. And me and God are a majority!

Papa was my covenant husband. Now he is in heaven and I am on earth. But to me, he is still my husband and always will be. My work is now to honor Jim for the rest of my life. It breaks my heart that Mary has dishonored Jim’s and my Lord. But someday Mary will be my comfort. Jim comforted me and was used of God to give me double blessing back for what the canker worm had eaten. My Mary will take this message of the Marriage Covenant to a broken generation. Yes, long after I am gone. I plant precious seeds in Mary’s heart as I am weeping. But I will doubtless come again rejoicing bringing in the sheaves. I must set my eyes upon the prize of the high calling of Jesus Christ. I must set my face as a flint and not look back. I will not be confounded. (Isaiah 50:7) And in the modern English Bible, it says we set ourselves to endure hardship and the Lord will help us. But Mother abides and is comforted by the Lord as she honors and respects her husband all the days of her life. Yes, the young widows can remarry but they must always bring honor to their husbands the children’s daddy for all of their lives. You just have two husbands and you have to honor both of them all of your life.

The Marriage Covenant is so Holy and has been such a stabilizer to me. Papa had torn up my world in the beginning but he put it back together in such a peaceful way. Better than before, he put all the pieces back just right. And in this I am confident that Mary will be healed, too. And in the end, she will be a comfort to me and to so many other Mothers. And as I sit in my old rockin’ chair and rock the Baby and pray, I am going to count my blessings and abide satisfied in Him. And my conscience doesn’t condemn me as I raised Mary at my knee to know my God. And this Word will not return void. It was sent out to do a great work as I planted many seeds into Mary’s heart. And I must stand still before Him and see His Glory! I stand still and know that HE is God.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

I want to write on several things today. One thing I was thinkin’ of this morning is, “How would I talk a woman who is a doctor or lawyer into being a Keeper at Home?”

Also I want to say something. Ya know I look at the body of believers and so many are in unbelief. I wanna say this to them. “Ya know maybe you didn’t get your prayers answered but I got mine answered.” And ya know we can’t look at the impossible situations around us and guide our lives by who we thought was the best Christian around. We can stand alone on the Word of God. And we don’t have to have many counselors when these counselors don’t stand on God’s Word. If the handwriting on the wall says, “It’s just you, babe, and God” then that’s OK. Yes, Glory! I am dancin’ this morning already! And just because Sister Know it All didn’t get her prayers answered don’t mean you won’t. You and God are a majority.

And I have these women tellin’ me things are hopeless because their husband ain’t saved or he is not walkin’ with God. Hey, God answered my prayers and that’s my testimony. My husband was in prison four times after I married him and, I think, two times before that. And he left me over thirty times and said he wasn’t comin’ back. Hey, God brought him back and the Lord gave me double for my trouble. God gave me a happy marriage and three more children. I got to have six children and Jim paid off the house. So, hey, maybe God don’t answer your prayers but He answered mine. And I am not done yet! And God is gonna give me godly Holy Ghost filled children that will walk on heavenly highways with Jesus. He may not give it to you. If you tell me He can’t do it in your life, then fine, but He did it for me and He is not a respecter of persons. And I won’t look to the left or to the right but my eyes are to behold Him and to keep walkin’ on the Lord’s highway. Praise the Lord. And the blood of Jesus has power in my life and He has redeemed me from the pit. And the unbelievers can stand around and tell me that I can’t do this or that. But I have to say to them, “You are too late — God has already given me miracles and I know how it works. You just don’t give up and you will see His glory!”

I am not a perfect person but I just don’t give up on my family. All God needs is a willing vessel, and I am leaning on Jesus. I am leaning way over the cliff. I am doing the back bend to the floor. Leaning on Him. Leaning on the supernatural. Counting on the supernatural to push me over. Leaning on the signs and wonders and the anointing from Heaven to push me over. Oh, I don’t walk by sight or the lies of Satan. But I lean on the fire from Heaven. I lean on the unseen. I lean on the visions of the Word spoken to me. My faith comes from the Alive Word spoken to me in my prayer chambers. I stand on a Rock I cannot see. I walk by a vision I cannot explain. I smell the scent of the Rose of Sharon. He stands with me in the dark and yet I see Him — I feel His presence. The angels guard me and Heaven is brought down to me and is about me.

Maybe you prayed and that didn’t happen to you. But it happens to me and I will not bow in unbelief to the lies of the devil and this world. Satan doesn’t need to own you. He doesn’t have your children. He doesn’t have your family. He can’t tell you what to do. You can tell Him what to do. You can learn to lean on Jesus who you can’t see. Upon His voice that you can’t hear with your physical ears.

You can tell me what you think. But you can’t make me believe you, as I have already been to the River that never runs dry. And I have already drank from the water that really quenches your thirst. And I keep going back to the River of Life and I am as though a woman addicted to the Water of Life. The more I get, the more I want. Because it is a water that continues to bring forth miracles. And now Miracles is what I live on.

I don’t know what the Lord is gonna say out of me anymore this morning. I am listening to the Lord in me. I have a lot to say but can’t at times explain it. I need at times for someone to ask me things that pull virtue out of me. I can always tell a woman of faith. Kelly M. just draws virtue out of me. And Annie does, too, and a lot of the ladies on here do, too. But if a woman comes to me in unbelief, it stops me like a herd of elephants.

But ya know most mental illness I have seen is from wives who are not in submission to their husbands. The women who don’t understand wifely submission are accidents goin’ someplace. I don’t care if the woman is a genius and finding the cure for cancer. If she doesn’t understand that her husband is the priest of the home, she is probably takin’ nerve pills. I am old, girls, almost 60. The Lord can’t wait until I am 80 to tell this. So I have had enough life experiences to say with a good amount of confidence that a wife out of submission is a wife who is mentally off.

I love to talk to so called abused women. These women leave their husbands and go from husband to husband. All the while tellin’ their sad story. And when they are young, then their stories are a little bit believable. But watch ‘em when they get old and stuck away in a nursing home someplace, cryin’ for mercy. Ain’t no one listening to them then. They laid their life out and they reap what they sow. They never gave or forgave and they die horrendous deaths.

I tell my kids and their friends again and again, as I tell them Papa and me were married almost 40 years, “We were two sinners saved by grace who were two good forgivers and we never gave up.” That is our success story.

Anyway, I guess what is on my heart is this. What I say on here isn’t something that someone talked me into. It is the Word of God. When I was believin’ for my husband to be healed, I would go to bed reading study books on marriage. I studied the Word of God as much as I could. I slept with my Bible. I read the King James version of the scriptures but I read the modern English Bibles, too. See, there is a miracle in the covenant of Marriage. I believed God for Jim because I studied until I could see the will of God and then I chased the Lord on it. I didn’t just want a good marriage. I wanted the will of God in my life.

I am not the type to believe anything that comes down the pike. Most of my life, I have had to stand alone. And I have watched families and seen that what God taught me in my darkest hour was true. And just because a woman is highly intelligent or has a lot of education? Her rules are the same as mine. Let God be God and every man or woman a liar. EVERY wise woman builds her house and the foolish tear it down with their own hands. This is straight across the board of I.Q.s or degrees in education. God’s Word is for the rich and poor alike. What brings true peace and true riches is Wisdom!

A few days ago, the Lord led me to read about the Ark of the Covenant. And when it was stolen from the people of God, the enemy would put it in their kingdom. And the Ark would cause diseases and plagues to come to the area of unbelievers. I knew God was speaking to me about this. And in this Ark was evidence of the miracles the children of God saw in the wilderness. Such as Moses’ rod. Also a jar of the manna that fed God’s people daily in the desert. Also the 10 commandments. Numbers 17:10 tells about some of it and then the cross reference would tell you about the rest. But this Ark was so powerful. But it was a box with the reminders of the glory of God. And there was still the power upon these things even after Moses was dead. God had put His power upon His Covenant.

And there is power in the Marriage covenant. The Bible says that the wife has power over her husband’s body. Not the live-in boyfriend’s body but the true husband. You live in heavenly places in Christ Jesus and you can take the authority over your husband’s body in prayer. If he is given to lust and to strange women, pray for impotence upon him and barrenness and that this relationship would be null and void.

Also the Lord is speaking to me about my house that it is like the Ark of the Covenant. In this house is a story of His power and His faithfulness to me and to my family. I have been faithful to my husband and to pray for my children. I will tell you one thing, He guards His covenant. Now I know that many widows are blessed to find another husband and to start over again and that is God’s will for them. But my heart is here with the stories of His faithfulness to me.

I visited at David’s house last night. I wanted to see again my new little grand baby David James, 3 weeks old. I loved holding him and his sister Kambree Kae, now 3 (Baby Rose). And when I walked into the living room the first picture I saw that sat above the computer was my beloved Jim’s picture. I know David looks at Papa and wonders what Jim would do in this and that situation. John and Christine had Jim’s picture out all the time, too. And Romeo would get out a toy or something. And John’s wife Christine would say, “Grandpa got you that, Romeo.” Jim’s presence and ways are always about us. David dreams of his Dad about once a week. Danny dreams of him, too. They just dream normal things like he is at a family gathering, acting as he always had. And Jim wasn’t super spiritual but he just plain loved us and wanted the best for us. He covered us with his wings of love and still does.

Well, Baby is cryin’ and I need to get to work. Write later.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

I am so happy to be set free of all the worry I had over Mary Elisabeth. It’s funny, ya know? I feel so like in limbo or something. I have had such a peace about Jim and never really experienced the grief over him. He and I had been so worried about Mary just before he died. I knew where Papa went — I knew he was with the Lord in heaven. And yet his presence was always about me. I have never felt out of control or that Jim was in a place I didn’t understand. It’s a miracle, I think. I praise the Lord! But Mary had devastated me. But now I have a witness in my heart from the Holy Spirit that she is OK, that she is coming into the wisdom of God, and the place in my heart that was full of fear is completely in faith. I heard in Mary’s voice on Jim’s birthday, the 27th of October, that she had come back to herself. She cried and said she missed Brandon. Oh, what glorious words she said. I mean, I want to dance before the Lord in a JOY that I could only dance if I was 12! My heart has leapt for JOY.

Yesterday, as I wrote about the vision of Mary all dressed in wisdom, I kept wishing I could have written more. But I haven’t called Mary since the 27th as I want her to make up her own mind and walk out what God is telling her to do. And, of course, I feel that Brandon is her covenant husband and I want her and him to make it together. But if she chooses or they choose not to stay married, then I can’t change that. But the thing of it is, she has to have the wisdom of God. But I really have had visions of Brandon as an older man happy with Mary in their marriage. I can change my own destiny but not my children’s. But, yes, I pray she will always love Brandon. But the main thing is that she love God and serve Him alone.

Mary is young and God will deal with her. I understand how important it is that she stay married to Brandon. Mary should not forsake the law of her Mother. Or her Mother’s God. But if she must enter heaven maimed, then it is better than not at all. But the truth in my heart is mighty and I know all is well with Mary as she has come to herself. And the Lord is in control. Praise the Lord.

A Little Ruby

I hope I can write more today about the vision I had of Mary, age 21. I see her set apart unto the Lord. I see her as a young Ruby learning the Wisdom of the Lord. I see her as dressing very Victorian and not caring what anyone thinks. I see her in a head covering and her and Brandon living in the wilderness. Mary will write there and be content to be alone much of the time. She is anointed to write on homemaking and family. I see her encouraging me to write and tellin’ me, “Mom, this world needs your writings.” Mary will carry on where I have left off.

I just went to pray and I told the Lord that I am so old to begin writing and I can’t make much of an impact on this world. The Lord reminded me of Laura Ingalls starting to write at age 60 or older. But God said to me, “Connie, you walked out a faith life and Mary will write about it. You suffered a lot of this and prayed it into Mary and she is young and will write it.” Just like Dixie died but I wrote about her life. It will probably take the rest of my life to understand what Dixie experienced. But she gave up midstream. And that is my temptation, too. And that I will continue to push the edges daily until I push the wisdom of God to a bigger audience. It is a message of truth that could change the world.

Pray for Mary that she will be strong and never give up. Mary was my 7th child as I had one miscarriage before her. And Jill and Dixie and I prayed for her to come for 10 years. We kept looking for Mary Elisabeth and I had 3 boys while I was waiting for Mary to come. She was my last child and Jim was 45 and I was 39 when we had her. But God planned it this way for Mary to become of age to write when I stopped.

Ya know the reason that the church knows nothing about the family is because the teaching on home and family is to come through the older Titus Mother. And the Lord, on this group, is training many of you women to become the older Titus 2 Mother. To become one, you will be lonely. You will be misunderstood. You won’t get the applause of man. You will always be fighting the good fight of faith but you will win. And as the times get harder in our country, you will be the Mothers and Wives who come out on top. Through your marriages, you are to learn to be faithful and full of courage. And if you pass your tests there, you will have the courage to pass your test anywhere else. The miracle is in the covenant marriage. If you are on another marriage, then the covenant is there, too. But if you know the truth but choose to walk in sin, then you are in trouble. But in this day of unrest and instability, cling to your marriage and in this way, you are clinging to the Lord. Yes, your family may forsake you but, dear wife and mother, don’t let go of them. Fight for your families, your husbands and your children.

Mothers of Courage

Dear Mothers, if we are not radical soldiers in this Christian Army, then we should just quit and give up now. Because the Mothers and the wives at home will have to take heaven by force. We live in a day of terror all about us. We need to back away from the world and close the eyes of our souls and concentrate on the Lord. We must come out from among them and be separated unto Him. We have to hear the clear voice of the Lord and not mistake His voice with the voice of the enemy. The old-time mothers weren’t out in the world and didn’t hear the voice of the world. They lived among the trees and herbs and chickens. They made what they needed for their families.

I love to read about Abe Lincoln. That man is so interesting. Anyway, as a boy, he made his bed out of branches and leaves in the house as he said he loved living like a bird. He was very wise and God raised him to be president and win a victory for the black slaves. He impacted our country for good. He knew how to stand alone and take the heat when everyone around him was giving up on the war.

I think of Laura Bush and how so many come against her and accuse her and her husband of killing their sons. Man, if one Mother accused me of such a thing, it would bury me. Not that I agree with the Republican party, necessarily, but I mean folks in politics on both sides have to have a lot of guts for sure. And we as Mothers of hope and courage must have spines of steel, too. We must have at least as much courage as Hilary Clinton or Oprah. I mean these women are death warmed up. Our truth is greater then the hogwash they pedal. But we don’t have the guts they have. They have an agenda that they are pushing and it is unholy. But they have purpose and unholy visions concerning women’s rights and getting the mother out of the home. But we as soldiers of the cross are only asked by God to stand for truth. All He asks out of us is to not give up.

I used to sit in the rocking chair and rock the baby as a young mom and cry out in prayer, “Lord, are you sure this is all I have to do for your kingdom?” And He said, “Connie, what you do now will go all over the world.” I thought I misunderstood and He meant my testimony would go all over my town. And my testimony isn’t popular but it goes where it is sent. It goes to the broken and contrite heart that won’t give up — my testimony is true and it was a miracle. And it is to those who refuse to stop believing God for a wayward husband or child. Have you refused to give up on your husband or child? Then I will tell you “You will see Victory.” Do you feel faith in your heart? Then this is God’s grace and blessing to you and His mark on you that you will indeed see His glory. Believe and you will see His glory!

Last night, as I handed out treats to the neighbor children who came to my door, Aunt Toot and I had a serious conversation on the phone. Which is rare! And I explained to her that I would never remarry. I plan to honor Jim all of my life. Also, I think that now I can have more time to get a Revolution started. It’s not yet, I don’t guess. But maybe after I have rested a year after Jim’s death. That will be in the spring after this winter. My day job is caring for children to support myself. But my real job is writing. I plan on kickin’ hell out of the feminist movement before I go on to see Papa. I know he would laugh in heaven over that. I can see him tellin’ the angels, “That’s my Baby on earth causin’ all kinds of hell for the feminists.”

I really wish I could be on the radio. I guess I could pray for that. Oh, mercy! What a riot that would be. I mean we have a local religious channel around this area. And the people on there are as crazy as monkeys. I know I couldn’t do any worse then that. But I probably couldn’t get on there, either. Well, maybe if I joined a church but, gosh, do I have to be that drastic? My message is well … different?

Marriage

Ya know I heard a TV preacher talkin’ on marriage lately. Well, the preachers are preachin’ on it now as it’s such an obvious problem. Duh! Anyway, they are saying we can’t be under the law concerning marriage and staying married all of your life no matter what. Well, there ain’t no law to it! The Old Testament put women down and the New Testament exalts them. The old law was that women were to be treated like cattle and harems were OK. The Lord came to set us free from the law and now we are to be treated as the weaker vessel and put on a pedestal. Also, that we should have just one husband who loves us as the Father loved Jesus Christ. We are to be treated as the bride who is the church who is the body of believers. True believers, not just religious church goers.

I heard this comedian making fun of Iraq saying, “First is God and then the husband, then a dog, then the wife.” But that is not God’s plan. The husband is to die for the wife and the wife is called to die for her husband and marriage. 1 Peter: 3 explains all of this. If marriage is under the law, so is Christ upon the cross and we don’t need to pay any attention to Him, either. But the whole Bible is built upon Jesus Christ! The Old Testament prophesies of His coming. And in the New Testament He comes. And the marriage is compared to what Jesus did upon the cross. See, the preachers don’t know this, as this message has to come from the older Titus mother.

A lot of the modern day preachers had feminists for mothers. But as the Lord put up with the children of God throughout the Old Testament, we are to be patient with the people around us and especially with our husbands and children. And that one verse about the first spouse being polluted and you can’t take them back if they remarried. Well, God wanted to divorce Israel but He didn’t. He never gave up on His own. He saved His own people. I mean He did His best to save them. Judas killed himself!

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

I am seeing miracles with Mary Elisabeth and I am so full of JOY. I talked to MaryL on the phone this morning and she said, “Connie, have you written about this to the ladies on the email?” and I said, “Well, I am just so full of JOY, I don’t know if I can write.” It’s like I have a JOY I can’t contain. Last night I had wonderful dreams about the Lord. That I was with the Israelites in the wilderness when the spies came back. And the two spies full of faith brought back these huge grapes. And I could see an angel building me a tabernacle in the wilderness. The dream was full of the colors of the harvest.

Well, MaryL and her family are having such miracles, too, as this is the time for miracles. Her stepson Bill had cancer — Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. I probably spelled it wrong. Anyway, doctors gave him a death sentence months ago. Lately he had a scan and they can’t find any cancer at all. We are all so excited about that, too.

Anyway, my Mary Elisabeth is being set free. I talked to her on the phone yesterday as she cried. She told me how much she missed Brandon but that he had already divorced her. Anyway, they have a mutual friend that they are talking through right now, and you can tell that Mary is trying to get back with Brandon and he is trying to get with her. Anyway, the Lord told me to tell Mary about some miracles in my marriage that she has never heard before. Of course, my before life was so bad that it made anything she is going through look like a Sunday school picnic. I wouldn’t even say on here what I told her. But my life could scoop anyone out.

This morning as I got up, I picked up my Bible and read Psalms 78. It tells the forefathers to tell the next generation all the great works they had seen. And we are to pass these stories on. Well, I passed some doozies on to Mary yesterday. This morning when I awoke I came out here in the dining room and, oh, the glory of the Lord is here. I feel so set free. I actually slept in peace last night.

It is a time of harvest and a time for miracles. It is 2006 and the 6th year is the year, in the Bible, of plenty. Because the 7th year is the year to let the land rest. Also in the Jewish calendar, October is like our January. It is the month of new beginnings. It’s HARVEST TIME … it’s the time to gather in what we have prayed for. And my miracle happened yesterday on Jim’s birthday. Also we had gotten this house in October of 1973 and Jim was set free in October of 1979.

I am just so full of Joy and I can’t hardly function. I needed to write to understand how to maintain my JOY. And the Lord is telling me to have patience in it.

One other thing MaryL age 78 and I talked about is this. Ya know I was basically the only one who was standing in faith for Mary and Brandon. I mean, I know you girls were, too, and Jill and MaryL and a few others. Thank you! But, oh, the lies I had to come up against. It was unreal. Brandon has about … well, at least a hundred relatives in this area that were standing against Mary and Brandon. The deception and lies that flew around me were unbelievable. Then Mary began to believe them all and started telling them to me. Tryin’ to figure out all the lies was enough to confuse a stampede of elephants. I mean “No Duh.”

See, Satan is like a hoard of flies on a dead body. These flies fly every where. But the Truth is from God. Not the truth on are they on drugs or not. Or who is on what? For the believer the truth is God’s Word. No matter what they are on or not on. God’s Truth is that they will be healed. The Truth is the Word of God for the situation you are praying for. When Satan is in a situation, then the confusion reigns. And the prayer intercessor will be rocked to and fro. Don’t condemn yourself as you are confused, too. Just try with all of your heart to stay on the Word of God. But the prayer intercessor will go through much of what the person is going through that she is praying for.

A Fullness of JOY

See, my daughter Mary, age 21, will be about in her 40s when I pass on. I have prayed my faith into her and she is going to need my faith in the years to come. I have prayed for Mary for a long time but especially right after Jim died. I have not hardly had a peace at all for 6 months. I have warred against the devil for the past 6 months. I didn’t do everything right is what I am trying to tell you. But see, don’t feel condemned in your walk of faith. We often rock and dip with the ones we are interceding for. We walk with them through the valley of death. In a way we go through what they go through but where they have failed, we win. We win the battle in the darkness as we feel what they feel. We go to them in prayer in their weakness and we somehow help them up and we give them faith. We carry our own burden and theirs, too. I know we ain’t supposed to carry burdens or that’s what they say, anyway. But some Mothers and Wives are called as intercessors and they carry burdens. We have times of rest and peace where we lay our cross down. It is then that we are fed heavenly manna from the Lord to give us strength. We do suffer as Christ upon the cross to birth new life into our family.

My life is a design by God to be one leap of faith to the next. Jim was a miracle and John, our son, too. And now Mary, and all of my kids will come to Christ. And, yes, I homeschooled them and taught them the Word from the get go. I told Mary on the phone yesterday. I said, “Mary Elisabeth, you can never change the fact that you had a godly mother who taught you the Word of God every day of your life as a child. You can’t change that. You come from a godly seed. You come from good stock, Mary.” And she said, “I know that, Mom.” And see, Mary and I wrote Happy Housewifery Newsletter together. Mary Elisabeth was raised up to know the Lord and to be a homemaker. But see, through all what she has done it has been a main attack on me, too.

I have told folks, “Well, I may as well have been a whore and on drugs the whole time I was raising her. I have gotten the reward of wickedness.” My heart has been so broken, so shattered. But God told me, He said, “Connie, the only way the Truth will come out is if you don’t give up until you see the glory of God.” And this is how His will is done on earth as it is done in heaven. We battle in the realm of the Spirit to bring heaven down into a situation. We battle to bring God’s honor and glory to our family. We battle against Satan to live in His glory on earth as it is in heaven. We battle to loose heaven and to bring a loosening to the earth. We cast out demons and hold the door open for our loved ones to get through it.

And some of these mothers who write for the Lord somehow get lost after the kid reaches 18. Because their teachings were good but now they come into a different battle. Oh, we hate to fight it. The religious world condemns us if our kids ain’t perfect. “And they were homeschooled” they say. But the Bible says that when they are old, they won’t depart. It doesn’t say when the kid is 18 years old, they will be perfect. I mean some of your kids are perfect and I thank God. But mine ain’t. And I represent a lot of Moms out there who feel condemned to hell. And ya know Satan wants to condemn you and tell you a bunch of trash about your own kids or a wayward husband. But it ain’t any of the devil’s business what your family does. And Mothers of faith, take on the whole armor of God and fight for your kids. Man, it is hard! But ya know we have to toughen up.

The hard part of this with Mary and Brandon is that this is mostly Mary’s fault. That’s what has killed me. It’s just killed me inside. But I have to get back up and fight, anyway. I can’t let the devil condemn me to the place that I cannot fight the good fight of faith. See, the devil will just try to annihilate you, dear Christian Mother. He will lie to you.

See, the name of the game is that our families have to make their own decisions for Christ. But we can pray down a good atmosphere for them to make this decision. And we help them as prayer warriors to hold back the darkness so they can see the light. But now we can’t make a decision for them. And we best not try, either. As all we will get done doing is getting them out of their stuff for years. We must mainly pray and let the Lord handle these situations in the world.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

Yesterday John and his wife Christine and little Romeo, age 4, came over to see me as they are leaving Friday to go back to Missouri. Christine’s family lives there. I always make a dinner as I love to cook for them. They are both excellent cooks and enjoy all of my cooking, no matter what I make. Well, I made BBQ beef ribs that Emily had given me. And I had mashed potatoes and gravy and green beans. Then yes, of all things, I made an apple pie. Now that I think of it, how did I do all of that with all the children about me? I know someone was prayin’ for me — thanks! Anyway, all the children had gone home at 5:30 and so my family and I had a lovely supper together. Christine cleaned up the house for me after supper as John and Romeo and I sat and visited and laughed.

All the children will be home for Thanksgiving. We will have the grand feast at my Mom’s. Everyone will bring things. Alex and Christian Joy will do most of the cooking, I think. But probably Christian Joy and her husband Jason from NYC will stay here at my home and John and his family, too. I know we will have a grand time. I know Mary will be healed by then. By faith I know all is well with her. Dan is moving to Oregon in a few days. He is gonna try to make it home for Thanksgiving. Danny Boy has such a hungry heart for his family. He didn’t like NYC. THANK GOD!

We were all laughin’ about Dan last night and what a funny kid he was when he was little. Romeo is so full of life and silly as a bed bug. He has the energy like Dan did when he was young. Romeo is a feast to my eye as he runs about he house trying to make us laugh. He swings his head all around and his hair just flies all about. But I am used to boys as I had 4 boys and 2 girls. The children I am blessed to watch are all girls. So I miss seeing the roughness of a little boy. John and Christine are always telling Romeo to settle down and play quietly. But to me, he is just being a normal boy. My Mom and all of the relatives get such a giant kick out of him. We are always trading funny stories about what he has done or said. Christine’s father is Armenian. So Romeo has the most handsome brown eyes — they sparkle like his mom’s.

As I said my last farewell to my traveling children last night, we embraced and hugged each other. A hug that will have to keep us until Thanksgiving. My children are like their Dad — always another mountain to cross. As Christine, my dear daughter-in-law hugged me, she said, “Connie, I miss you already.” She has been to me a Ruth to Naomi. She will always be near me in her heart, and my heart. How many times in the past year she has stood with me as an anchor of faith. I had to steal a kiss from Romeo as he don’t like kisses from girls. But he got a kiss, anyway. And, oh, John has gotten so tall. I have to reach up to hug him. He reminds me of my dad and Jim, his dad. He has become a Shepard to me.

John was the son I wept for, for seven years. And God delivered him with His mighty hand. The Lord knows how to do what needs to be done. I know the devil has tried to count me out many times. But God’s Holy word redeems me each time. I give Him the praise and glory.

My Children

And my aunt will say to me, concerning John and his family, “Well, why do they move so much? And what are they going to do in Missouri that they can’t do here?” And on and on and on. And I say “I dunno.” I figure they are old enough to figure it all out. And my aunt says, “My gosh, I worry over those kids more then you do.” And I think to myself, “You don’t know the half of it.” And you can imagine what she says about Mary. But I don’t care. The whole thing reminds me of a scene in Little Women as the rich aunt was so stingy. And she was always telling the mother that she wasn’t raising her older children in a proper way. But their Mother had faith and she was dear to her family.

And I know my older children are more adventuresome then most kids their age. But Jim was adventuresome like that. And I loved that in him. I don’t leave the house in my adventures. But I go to other countries with my words. And all of my children will be taught of the Lord and great shall be their peace. They are part me and part Papa. And Papa was a Tom Sawyer. When he was young, he lived in a river town and would swim across the river to go to the Picture Show. He ran away when he was 14 and hitch hiked all over the country. I know my children are travelers, too, but within their families. Christian Joy has been to Finland, Scotland, Italy and France. Germany and England. And to Ireland many times. She has been to countries I have forgotten. She went on a tour to Europe by herself and called me from each country. My aunt had a royal fit and said it was dangerous and all for her to go alone. “To Europe alone. Never heard of such a thing!”

Well, no, I am not always in agreement with my children. But they have to grow up and do what they have to do. I just pray holy protection over them. They are Papa’s seeds and I know they will always come home to roost.

Papa was always so boyish, even before he died. He was my Popeye and I was his Olive Oyl. Every time I held him in my arms, I would say, “You feel the same as you did when you were 25.” Because he really never gained weight, and he always felt strong to me. I would play on the piano and sing to him, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are blue. You will never know, Dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.” Well, Papa is full of light now and full of the SON as he is on another adventure out of this world to heaven. I know he has golden slippers and he walks the streets of Gold. I know he is singing there as Papa loved to sing and dance. I can feel him tell me, “Connie, I love you, just because you are you.”

I was looking through some old cards he had given me for Christmas and my birthday. One said, at the bottom in his handwriting, ” Connie, my Darling, I love you more with each passing day. I thank our dear Lord for you, my darling wife.” Was it worth it not to give up on my Covenant marriage? Oh, yes, a million times over, YES! And I will never give up on my children, either. All of my children are taught of the Lord and great is their peace.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

Ya know I have a friend who I will call on here Patty. Anyway, she has a husband that has committed out and out adultery on her for years. I have told her that she really has grounds for divorce. But she has decided to stay in the marriage and believe the Lord for her husband. But it is a horrid story of heartache. I have been praying for her husband for many years. And lately as I haven’t seen any change, it has hurt my faith. I have gone to the Lord and said, “Lord, this guy just seems impossible.” And then I would go to pray for Salvation for some guy in adultery and, man, my prayers seemed to hit a cement ceiling. It has really hurt my faith. I mean with all the sex diseases … I just felt so helpless to pray.

But this lady told Annie and me this story. She had an adulterous husband. And she prayed impotence upon him and he went to have sex with this harlot. And he all of a sudden was impotent. And he told the harlot, “Oh, that’s because my wife is prayin’ for me.” And the harlot said “Well, call her on the phone and make her stop.” And the husband called her and begged her to stop but she wouldn’t stop. And soon her husband was out of the affair. But wouldn’t that be a heartache for your husband to call you like that? But this wife didn’t stop prayin’ even when the heat was turned up three times hotter. Man, that wife had guts, huh?

Well, I slept like a baby all night last night as I prayed impotence upon Patty’s husband and some other adulterous relationships I know about. I write this to let you know there is a remedy to men who can’t seem to get out of their stuff. This would work for a husband into porn and all of that.

Then the Lord gave me scripture to back this up. This morning I read about Abraham and Sarah. This was in the time when God destroyed with fire Sodom and Gomorrah, like now? Send us a cleansing fire Lord! And Abe sold Sarah to the King. It’s in Genesis 20. And Abe had said Sarah was his sister. And the King took her to his palace to commit adultery with her. And God stopped everything while Sarah was there. And it scared the King. And he begged Abe to take Sarah back as the whole palace was in an uproar, as all the women’s wombs were closed. And the men would have had to be impotent, too. In other words, the party was over until Sarah was outta there. The King James version says in verse 16 that Abe was to Sarah a covering to the eyes, or to me it means a veil. In the modern version it waters it down. But to me God is saying that Abe, through unbelief, cast Sarah out of her place of covering and HE, Abe, was the problem, not the king or Sarah. As Sarah was sold to the King and went willingly, she was protected from adultery. And right after her test (which was no small test, by the way) she got her promise! God had been promising her a son. And finally, after all of this hell and high water, God gave her Laughter. He gave her Issac. Praise the Lord. God is good. Oh, yes. Amen. Praise God!

I tell ya I slept like a baby last night. God has made the Word to come alive to me. And I know this writing isn’t something you would want to share with the children. But don’t we need a handbook as to how to live in Sodom and Gomorrah? I mean, we are there now. Hello? I mean seriously, like the sex offenders should be castrated. But we can do that in prayer for adulterous husbands. And I know the whores are out there, too. But I think we can pray barrenness on them so they wont kill their babies. I dunno … this from the Lord really set me free. It has released me to pray in faith over adultery in Jesus name. It’s like FINALLY I hit Gold through all my diggin’.

Love,
Connie