Friday, February 23, 2018

pt 2 Jim Died…

I miss my beloved husband..i feel starved almost to death for him..All i
ever wanted out of him was his love.And i finally got his love..And as he
was having a heart attack and they were putting an oxigen mask on him he
told the boys” take care of your mother”i looked over at Jim as he was
sitting there with the oxigen on his face..And i remained still and was Papas and my way to act that way..We wudnt cry was
what Jim showed me to do..For 3 weeks before at home Jim told me he was
dying..He wud say “its my heart Connie” i wud never come to grips with
that,,That sounded too serious to me..Certainly my beloved cudnt have heart
trouble..But he did and he knew he did..But we both knew he wasnt going to
a hospital..He never wanted to die there,,,But i cud tell finally that it
was his heart here at home..And then i went quietly into the dining room
and looked up the phone num of the ambulance and told them to come right
away..and they did..And we were both calm and they put him in the
ambulance,and i road in the front seat..And the Drs said i called the
ambulance at the right time,,,it was perfect time. Jim never had the
heart attack until he got to the hospital and was with a Dr..But still
later he died,,,i thot the man cud never die..but he did,,The only man i
ever loved died…The only man who ever cared for me for almost 40 yrs
died,,i didnt know life cud be so hard,,i was to see him almost die right
after that…He had 4 code blues…i knew he wud never be the same,,Even
after that he told the Dr he was going home..But he never did get to come
back home,,,He died,,He died ? i cudnt believe that..Always no matter what
he did we had hope to be together again,,But not this time,,this was the
final time for him to leave..and he cudnt come back..I bet he wanted to but
he cudnt get back ..

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