This morning I wanted to write but little Baby was cryin’ and wanting another bottle. So I held her and sang to her in my bedroom. As I was sitting there on the bed, the Lord told me to write about the vision I had last night of Mary. I saw her come in my front door with a dress on like the dress I had her wear as a little girl. I was very careful in how I dressed her, always in a feminine way. Her hair was curly as it once was. And I asked the Lord what this meant and He said this. The teachings that Mary had when she was little are coming up into her spirit. He said, in essence, “Connie, the devil has taunted you as a Christian Mother and told you that you raised Mary in holiness for nothing. But it was only that Satan attacks the truth of God.”

And as I sat in the bedroom holding sweet Olivia Rose, 3 months old, the Lord caused my eyes to see the books in my bookcase. I raised Mary out of old books of Wisdom from the 1800s. I would seek out these books to read to Mary and to teach her the deep wisdom of God. I would spend much time in prayer as I would seek out wisdom. I brought Mary to Dixie’s and she spent a lot of time with Jill. When Mary first married, she had pictures in her home of who she thought Ruby looked like. And they were pictures I loved, too. Mary knows Ruby and Ruby knows her. As I sang to Olivia Rose this morning, I sang to Wisdom and called her my sister and understanding my kinswoman. As I sang, it was as though the Holy Spirit whispered through me.

I am changed inside as I saw the Wisdom of God upon Mary. I feel that the Lord is saying that Mary will have a much deeper calling of wisdom upon her than I have ever had. Mary is a writer and she will write many books on the Wisdom of God. My mentor MaryL has told me, “You have passed down your mantel of writing to Mary.” Our Mary sent out thank you notes to all who came to her baby’s funeral. And so many have told me, “Oh, your Mary is a writer.” And she is. The writing she wrote about the soldier who fought a bloody battle for his country and his ring, is so powerful. It is about a young man who fought for his marriage or his ring. Brandon will be a mighty warrior for the Lord. Well, even now he is! He has always been a shepherd to Mary. And my writings I feel, up to now, haven’t been as good as the Lord wants them to be. But the writings on wisdom that will come out of this deep wound with Mary will produce some very spiritual writings.

Sometimes as we pray for our kids, we think the answer will come as we think in our minds. But I taught Mary when she was a child out of my own broken heart and many years of experience. I knew the wisdom of God. But this kind of wisdom doesn’t come upon a proud heart of flesh — it comes only upon the broken and contrite heart. The broken heart has to make a decision in the arena of fear and darkness. “Though he slay me yet will I trust in Him.”

Mary received the wisdom of God from me as her Mother. And now I have birthed the wisdom of God to Mary’s broken heart. “Oh, little bird with a broken wing, trust in God. Just because you find a high branch to jump from doesn’t mean you can fly. Your wing is broken and only Jesus can heal you. Only Mother’s tears can water you. Build your house upon the Rock Mother told you about. Not on the world’s sand. Mary Rose, remember the teachings of your Mother.”

God cannot melt His word into the rose’s thorn but only upon a bruised petal. He bleeds His crimson stain upon the pure white rose. We wish the petals to be pure white but they can’t be pure without the crimson stain of Christ’s blood. No matter how white the rose is, it is not truly pure without he crimson stain. And when a Mother goes to pray for the child of her heart, it seems her faith is tested. And the vision she has for her children seems to die. And it does seemingly die as it is a seed being tested. But Mother must endure the test.

Dear Mothers,

Talked to Danny yesterday afternoon and he was getting ready to go to Oregon. He was staying with Christiane Joy the day before he left. He says, “Mom, Chrissy told Jason that they can’t have any babies until he learns to turn out the lights and she has a compost pile.”

Made me feel good that Chrissy was remembering the old ways of home. But I told Dan, “Well, why does Chrissy need a compost pile? She hasn’t got a yard.” In NYC, where she and her husband live, they don’t have hardly any patches of dirt to plant anything. But go Christian — she still has a compost pile. She puts it in a bucket, I guess. I don’t know what she is gonna do with it. But I guess she will enjoy composting it. It is a faith thing to me. She is seeding for a real garden in a family home.

Love,
Connie

Well, I was tellin’ Aunt Toot that I needed someone to show me how to get gas at the filling station? So Aunt T. and Jerry was to be in the area to go see Toot’s daughter. So they stopped here first to help me learn to get gas for the car? John and his family are back in Missouri now. Anyway, Jerry was to watch my cat while me and Aunt Toot went to get the gas. Well, Aunt Toot tries to tell me how to drive. Anyway, we get to the Gas Station and she shows me how to get gas and we go in the gas station to pay for it. Aunt Toot announces that I don’t know how to get gas because my husband died and all. And this clerk gets real sympathetic and Toot and I start to laugh and carry on. So we go out to start the car to go home and the car won’t start. So Aunt T. runs back home and it’s about 6 blocks (and she is old) to get her husband Jerry. Meanwhile, the Pepsi Cola delivering guy tries to start the car but it won’t work. And then Jerry comes and messes with the battery and it worked. Toots yellin’ “She needs a man.” And Jerry says, “We are claimin’ one for ya.” And I am yellin out the window as I peel out, “AAAAh Shut UP.” And Aunt Toot is screamin’ “YOU need a man!”

I tell ya, I shudda known this would be an adventure. It’s a good thing the gas station wasn’t busy.

Well, I forgot the funniest part. When the car wouldn’t start and Aunt Toot and I were in the car tryin’ different things to get it goin’, Toot says, “Oh, I forgot — you live by faith” and she cuts loose in tongues. I am laughin’ so hard as I write this that I can hardly stand it. She is so used to crazy things happening to her and me whenever we get together. The cat will play the piano or there will be a strange sound at the door and I will tell Toot, “It’s just the cat,” and so she will go look and it won’t be the cat. Things happen to her here that she never forgets.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

I am so Joyful, I feel like there should be a law against it? Mercy! I don’t really have much to write except to Praise the Lord. I slept last night. And when I woke up this morning, I thought, “I didn’t have to take Ibuprofen to sleep. And I didn’t take anything to sleep. I just had a good sleep.” Slept about 7 hours. I did wake up early but I prayed for my neighbors. Usually I have awakened in the night so fearful about Mary. Then I have to get up and get myself put back together again, as I would get anxiety attacks in the night. But God is setting Mary free and I know it in my spirit. I am happy again. I told the Lord this morning, “Lord, I want to just die happy now. Don’t allow me to have any more of these attacks. Just let Mary and Brandon do well … and let me have peace.” Well, I got the silent treatment from the Lord. I have a really sneeeaky suspicion that Mary and Brandon will be such testimonies that their story will have to be told. I haven’t talked to Mary again but I don’t feel a need to, either. I know she is doing fine and has the spirit of truth upon her. And I know she will be making some sound decisions from here.

Strongholds is what I want to write about. I have learned a lot from this past trial. Strongholds are the mindset of the person you are praying for. Evil mindsets come in our loved ones. And we pray to cast them down. As they have an evil stronghold, they are the mouth of the devil. And the biggest thing they do is condemn the one prayin’ for them. This is the biggest trick Satan uses is deception. He deceives our children and they begin to think that their thoughts of Satan are their own thoughts. So Satan comes in and builds a temple in them and teaches them the ways of death. And the Word tells us to cast down strongholds and all that comes against the Word of God in our loved ones.

Our loved ones get this teaching of Satan in them and it causes us mothers or wives to be afraid. We become amazed with fear as we look at the bad shape of the ones we love. Satan holds our prayers back and tells us we have no reason to believe God. That the situation is toooo bad, and not even God can change things. Well, by that time, Satan has built a stronghold of fear in the wife and mother. The stronghold of fear plus the stronghold of deception in your child or husband creates a paradise for Satan. You become as two in agreement with Satan. Fear and deception is what Satan loves and lives on. He can’t live in an atmosphere of faith. It kills him. Love kills him, too. And love suffers long and is kind. Love is never ending … it abides forever.

Ya know the devil would just torment me almost to death about Mary. But I couldn’t give up because I love her so much. I love her more than I can say. And even if she had chosen Laine, I would have loved her, anyway, and put up with this guy. But God is causing Mary to love Brandon and I know he loves her. Mary has the spirit of truth upon her now. Thank the Lord. And Brandon, I know, loves Mary and she told me how much she missed him. Thank the Lord! I am just a human being and my love for my girl is deep and everlasting. I can love her in a place of adultery and even the Lord has to look away. But I am her flesh and blood and God is pure and can’t look on sin unless He looks through Jesus within us. I forgive her! I am a sinner, too.

I say all of this as I know that many of you are on the same journey here. And I am not a teacher at all or worth anything if I can’t equip the saints for every good work. Hard times are upon us. We must know how to fight the good fight of faith. Our country is at war and things look dangerous. But we as believers are not of this world. We can’t live as though we are unbelievers. We must be able to call down fire out of heaven and know how to work righteousness in this world. Signs and wonders must follow us.

Praise the Lord

Ya know the Bible says that the Lord looks about the earth for those who will believe Him so that He can show Himself Mighty through them. Alaine, do you know where that scripture is? God is looking for women who won’t go for the money but will go for the real things of God. He is looking for wives who will stand on his covenant.

I told Mary a few days ago, “Mary, there is a miracle in the Marriage Covenant.” The Lord is lookin’ for women that won’t give up until she sees the glory of God. He looks for the woman who will stand alone when all the world is tellin’ ya, “Well, you are crazy. Your family will never be anything for God.” Or like my aunt used to tell me when Jim and I were separated, “Your husband probably has another family someplace.” And the prison guards told me, “Well, why do ya want him? He will never amount to anything.” And he wouldn’t have amounted to anything, either, except Jesus Christ had an angel come into Jim’s cell and talk to him. Rehabilitation wasn’t the answer as those prisons don’t teach anyone anything except how not to get caught next time. Duh! But Jesus Christ knows His stuff.

I mean I didn’t enjoy goin’ through 4 prison terms with Jim. And when he wasn’t in prison, he was in jail getting ready to go to prison. HELLLOOOO? It wasn’t easy lookin’ at him on the chain gang and think, “Oh, yeah, this looks good and I know he will be a Christian and come home and be a good family man.” And no one believed he would amount to a hill of beans. And I never worked a day after he was healed, saved and delivered of demons. And the Lord gave me 26 years of JOY with Jim. I finished my course when Jim died. The Lord gave me double for all I suffered. And the Lord wouldn’t have let Jim die until He did give me the double blessing. I wouldn’t let Jim die up to then. And he could have died many times, but God kept him. Even as he has died now, I never sense he is gone but always with me.

But in this physical world, I have finished my course of marriage. It is now carved in store, in a sense, that Jim never left Connie again and her prayers were indeed answered. I finished that course and came out with a face aglow with the power of Christ. And right afterward, another onslaught of Satan came against Mary. And now God has given me the victory there, too. And I will see many miracles come through Mary in Jesus name.

But I am tellin’ ya, Satan ain’t gonna just give up easily on your loved ones. We must not walk by sight in this world. We have dear friends who agree in faith, too. And we appreciate that. But when it gets down to it? It has to be you and God. And you are there to see the Victory and you almost experience it alone, too.

The twelve spies who went out but only two came back to say “We can take the Land.” Yes, there are giants in the land. But the woman of God is not afraid as her trust and confidence is not in what she can do but in her God who can do all things. Nothing is impossible with God! Blow the trumpet in Zion for the Victory is here! Mary Lehman at 76 (or 77, I forget) — she blows this huge Shofar and I can sense she is blowing it today as her stepson was healed of cancer. Praise the Lord.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

I am seeing miracles with Mary Elisabeth and I am so full of JOY. I talked to MaryL on the phone this morning and she said, “Connie, have you written about this to the ladies on the email?” and I said, “Well, I am just so full of JOY, I don’t know if I can write.” It’s like I have a JOY I can’t contain. Last night I had wonderful dreams about the Lord. That I was with the Israelites in the wilderness when the spies came back. And the two spies full of faith brought back these huge grapes. And I could see an angel building me a tabernacle in the wilderness. The dream was full of the colors of the harvest.

Well, MaryL and her family are having such miracles, too, as this is the time for miracles. Her stepson Bill had cancer — Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. I probably spelled it wrong. Anyway, doctors gave him a death sentence months ago. Lately he had a scan and they can’t find any cancer at all. We are all so excited about that, too.

Anyway, my Mary Elisabeth is being set free. I talked to her on the phone yesterday as she cried. She told me how much she missed Brandon but that he had already divorced her. Anyway, they have a mutual friend that they are talking through right now, and you can tell that Mary is trying to get back with Brandon and he is trying to get with her. Anyway, the Lord told me to tell Mary about some miracles in my marriage that she has never heard before. Of course, my before life was so bad that it made anything she is going through look like a Sunday school picnic. I wouldn’t even say on here what I told her. But my life could scoop anyone out.

This morning as I got up, I picked up my Bible and read Psalms 78. It tells the forefathers to tell the next generation all the great works they had seen. And we are to pass these stories on. Well, I passed some doozies on to Mary yesterday. This morning when I awoke I came out here in the dining room and, oh, the glory of the Lord is here. I feel so set free. I actually slept in peace last night.

It is a time of harvest and a time for miracles. It is 2006 and the 6th year is the year, in the Bible, of plenty. Because the 7th year is the year to let the land rest. Also in the Jewish calendar, October is like our January. It is the month of new beginnings. It’s HARVEST TIME … it’s the time to gather in what we have prayed for. And my miracle happened yesterday on Jim’s birthday. Also we had gotten this house in October of 1973 and Jim was set free in October of 1979.

I am just so full of Joy and I can’t hardly function. I needed to write to understand how to maintain my JOY. And the Lord is telling me to have patience in it.

One other thing MaryL age 78 and I talked about is this. Ya know I was basically the only one who was standing in faith for Mary and Brandon. I mean, I know you girls were, too, and Jill and MaryL and a few others. Thank you! But, oh, the lies I had to come up against. It was unreal. Brandon has about … well, at least a hundred relatives in this area that were standing against Mary and Brandon. The deception and lies that flew around me were unbelievable. Then Mary began to believe them all and started telling them to me. Tryin’ to figure out all the lies was enough to confuse a stampede of elephants. I mean “No Duh.”

See, Satan is like a hoard of flies on a dead body. These flies fly every where. But the Truth is from God. Not the truth on are they on drugs or not. Or who is on what? For the believer the truth is God’s Word. No matter what they are on or not on. God’s Truth is that they will be healed. The Truth is the Word of God for the situation you are praying for. When Satan is in a situation, then the confusion reigns. And the prayer intercessor will be rocked to and fro. Don’t condemn yourself as you are confused, too. Just try with all of your heart to stay on the Word of God. But the prayer intercessor will go through much of what the person is going through that she is praying for.

A Fullness of JOY

See, my daughter Mary, age 21, will be about in her 40s when I pass on. I have prayed my faith into her and she is going to need my faith in the years to come. I have prayed for Mary for a long time but especially right after Jim died. I have not hardly had a peace at all for 6 months. I have warred against the devil for the past 6 months. I didn’t do everything right is what I am trying to tell you. But see, don’t feel condemned in your walk of faith. We often rock and dip with the ones we are interceding for. We walk with them through the valley of death. In a way we go through what they go through but where they have failed, we win. We win the battle in the darkness as we feel what they feel. We go to them in prayer in their weakness and we somehow help them up and we give them faith. We carry our own burden and theirs, too. I know we ain’t supposed to carry burdens or that’s what they say, anyway. But some Mothers and Wives are called as intercessors and they carry burdens. We have times of rest and peace where we lay our cross down. It is then that we are fed heavenly manna from the Lord to give us strength. We do suffer as Christ upon the cross to birth new life into our family.

My life is a design by God to be one leap of faith to the next. Jim was a miracle and John, our son, too. And now Mary, and all of my kids will come to Christ. And, yes, I homeschooled them and taught them the Word from the get go. I told Mary on the phone yesterday. I said, “Mary Elisabeth, you can never change the fact that you had a godly mother who taught you the Word of God every day of your life as a child. You can’t change that. You come from a godly seed. You come from good stock, Mary.” And she said, “I know that, Mom.” And see, Mary and I wrote Happy Housewifery Newsletter together. Mary Elisabeth was raised up to know the Lord and to be a homemaker. But see, through all what she has done it has been a main attack on me, too.

I have told folks, “Well, I may as well have been a whore and on drugs the whole time I was raising her. I have gotten the reward of wickedness.” My heart has been so broken, so shattered. But God told me, He said, “Connie, the only way the Truth will come out is if you don’t give up until you see the glory of God.” And this is how His will is done on earth as it is done in heaven. We battle in the realm of the Spirit to bring heaven down into a situation. We battle to bring God’s honor and glory to our family. We battle against Satan to live in His glory on earth as it is in heaven. We battle to loose heaven and to bring a loosening to the earth. We cast out demons and hold the door open for our loved ones to get through it.

And some of these mothers who write for the Lord somehow get lost after the kid reaches 18. Because their teachings were good but now they come into a different battle. Oh, we hate to fight it. The religious world condemns us if our kids ain’t perfect. “And they were homeschooled” they say. But the Bible says that when they are old, they won’t depart. It doesn’t say when the kid is 18 years old, they will be perfect. I mean some of your kids are perfect and I thank God. But mine ain’t. And I represent a lot of Moms out there who feel condemned to hell. And ya know Satan wants to condemn you and tell you a bunch of trash about your own kids or a wayward husband. But it ain’t any of the devil’s business what your family does. And Mothers of faith, take on the whole armor of God and fight for your kids. Man, it is hard! But ya know we have to toughen up.

The hard part of this with Mary and Brandon is that this is mostly Mary’s fault. That’s what has killed me. It’s just killed me inside. But I have to get back up and fight, anyway. I can’t let the devil condemn me to the place that I cannot fight the good fight of faith. See, the devil will just try to annihilate you, dear Christian Mother. He will lie to you.

See, the name of the game is that our families have to make their own decisions for Christ. But we can pray down a good atmosphere for them to make this decision. And we help them as prayer warriors to hold back the darkness so they can see the light. But now we can’t make a decision for them. And we best not try, either. As all we will get done doing is getting them out of their stuff for years. We must mainly pray and let the Lord handle these situations in the world.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

Yesterday John and his wife Christine and little Romeo, age 4, came over to see me as they are leaving Friday to go back to Missouri. Christine’s family lives there. I always make a dinner as I love to cook for them. They are both excellent cooks and enjoy all of my cooking, no matter what I make. Well, I made BBQ beef ribs that Emily had given me. And I had mashed potatoes and gravy and green beans. Then yes, of all things, I made an apple pie. Now that I think of it, how did I do all of that with all the children about me? I know someone was prayin’ for me — thanks! Anyway, all the children had gone home at 5:30 and so my family and I had a lovely supper together. Christine cleaned up the house for me after supper as John and Romeo and I sat and visited and laughed.

All the children will be home for Thanksgiving. We will have the grand feast at my Mom’s. Everyone will bring things. Alex and Christian Joy will do most of the cooking, I think. But probably Christian Joy and her husband Jason from NYC will stay here at my home and John and his family, too. I know we will have a grand time. I know Mary will be healed by then. By faith I know all is well with her. Dan is moving to Oregon in a few days. He is gonna try to make it home for Thanksgiving. Danny Boy has such a hungry heart for his family. He didn’t like NYC. THANK GOD!

We were all laughin’ about Dan last night and what a funny kid he was when he was little. Romeo is so full of life and silly as a bed bug. He has the energy like Dan did when he was young. Romeo is a feast to my eye as he runs about he house trying to make us laugh. He swings his head all around and his hair just flies all about. But I am used to boys as I had 4 boys and 2 girls. The children I am blessed to watch are all girls. So I miss seeing the roughness of a little boy. John and Christine are always telling Romeo to settle down and play quietly. But to me, he is just being a normal boy. My Mom and all of the relatives get such a giant kick out of him. We are always trading funny stories about what he has done or said. Christine’s father is Armenian. So Romeo has the most handsome brown eyes — they sparkle like his mom’s.

As I said my last farewell to my traveling children last night, we embraced and hugged each other. A hug that will have to keep us until Thanksgiving. My children are like their Dad — always another mountain to cross. As Christine, my dear daughter-in-law hugged me, she said, “Connie, I miss you already.” She has been to me a Ruth to Naomi. She will always be near me in her heart, and my heart. How many times in the past year she has stood with me as an anchor of faith. I had to steal a kiss from Romeo as he don’t like kisses from girls. But he got a kiss, anyway. And, oh, John has gotten so tall. I have to reach up to hug him. He reminds me of my dad and Jim, his dad. He has become a Shepard to me.

John was the son I wept for, for seven years. And God delivered him with His mighty hand. The Lord knows how to do what needs to be done. I know the devil has tried to count me out many times. But God’s Holy word redeems me each time. I give Him the praise and glory.

My Children

And my aunt will say to me, concerning John and his family, “Well, why do they move so much? And what are they going to do in Missouri that they can’t do here?” And on and on and on. And I say “I dunno.” I figure they are old enough to figure it all out. And my aunt says, “My gosh, I worry over those kids more then you do.” And I think to myself, “You don’t know the half of it.” And you can imagine what she says about Mary. But I don’t care. The whole thing reminds me of a scene in Little Women as the rich aunt was so stingy. And she was always telling the mother that she wasn’t raising her older children in a proper way. But their Mother had faith and she was dear to her family.

And I know my older children are more adventuresome then most kids their age. But Jim was adventuresome like that. And I loved that in him. I don’t leave the house in my adventures. But I go to other countries with my words. And all of my children will be taught of the Lord and great shall be their peace. They are part me and part Papa. And Papa was a Tom Sawyer. When he was young, he lived in a river town and would swim across the river to go to the Picture Show. He ran away when he was 14 and hitch hiked all over the country. I know my children are travelers, too, but within their families. Christian Joy has been to Finland, Scotland, Italy and France. Germany and England. And to Ireland many times. She has been to countries I have forgotten. She went on a tour to Europe by herself and called me from each country. My aunt had a royal fit and said it was dangerous and all for her to go alone. “To Europe alone. Never heard of such a thing!”

Well, no, I am not always in agreement with my children. But they have to grow up and do what they have to do. I just pray holy protection over them. They are Papa’s seeds and I know they will always come home to roost.

Papa was always so boyish, even before he died. He was my Popeye and I was his Olive Oyl. Every time I held him in my arms, I would say, “You feel the same as you did when you were 25.” Because he really never gained weight, and he always felt strong to me. I would play on the piano and sing to him, “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are blue. You will never know, Dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.” Well, Papa is full of light now and full of the SON as he is on another adventure out of this world to heaven. I know he has golden slippers and he walks the streets of Gold. I know he is singing there as Papa loved to sing and dance. I can feel him tell me, “Connie, I love you, just because you are you.”

I was looking through some old cards he had given me for Christmas and my birthday. One said, at the bottom in his handwriting, ” Connie, my Darling, I love you more with each passing day. I thank our dear Lord for you, my darling wife.” Was it worth it not to give up on my Covenant marriage? Oh, yes, a million times over, YES! And I will never give up on my children, either. All of my children are taught of the Lord and great is their peace.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

Ya know I have a friend who I will call on here Patty. Anyway, she has a husband that has committed out and out adultery on her for years. I have told her that she really has grounds for divorce. But she has decided to stay in the marriage and believe the Lord for her husband. But it is a horrid story of heartache. I have been praying for her husband for many years. And lately as I haven’t seen any change, it has hurt my faith. I have gone to the Lord and said, “Lord, this guy just seems impossible.” And then I would go to pray for Salvation for some guy in adultery and, man, my prayers seemed to hit a cement ceiling. It has really hurt my faith. I mean with all the sex diseases … I just felt so helpless to pray.

But this lady told Annie and me this story. She had an adulterous husband. And she prayed impotence upon him and he went to have sex with this harlot. And he all of a sudden was impotent. And he told the harlot, “Oh, that’s because my wife is prayin’ for me.” And the harlot said “Well, call her on the phone and make her stop.” And the husband called her and begged her to stop but she wouldn’t stop. And soon her husband was out of the affair. But wouldn’t that be a heartache for your husband to call you like that? But this wife didn’t stop prayin’ even when the heat was turned up three times hotter. Man, that wife had guts, huh?

Well, I slept like a baby all night last night as I prayed impotence upon Patty’s husband and some other adulterous relationships I know about. I write this to let you know there is a remedy to men who can’t seem to get out of their stuff. This would work for a husband into porn and all of that.

Then the Lord gave me scripture to back this up. This morning I read about Abraham and Sarah. This was in the time when God destroyed with fire Sodom and Gomorrah, like now? Send us a cleansing fire Lord! And Abe sold Sarah to the King. It’s in Genesis 20. And Abe had said Sarah was his sister. And the King took her to his palace to commit adultery with her. And God stopped everything while Sarah was there. And it scared the King. And he begged Abe to take Sarah back as the whole palace was in an uproar, as all the women’s wombs were closed. And the men would have had to be impotent, too. In other words, the party was over until Sarah was outta there. The King James version says in verse 16 that Abe was to Sarah a covering to the eyes, or to me it means a veil. In the modern version it waters it down. But to me God is saying that Abe, through unbelief, cast Sarah out of her place of covering and HE, Abe, was the problem, not the king or Sarah. As Sarah was sold to the King and went willingly, she was protected from adultery. And right after her test (which was no small test, by the way) she got her promise! God had been promising her a son. And finally, after all of this hell and high water, God gave her Laughter. He gave her Issac. Praise the Lord. God is good. Oh, yes. Amen. Praise God!

I tell ya I slept like a baby last night. God has made the Word to come alive to me. And I know this writing isn’t something you would want to share with the children. But don’t we need a handbook as to how to live in Sodom and Gomorrah? I mean, we are there now. Hello? I mean seriously, like the sex offenders should be castrated. But we can do that in prayer for adulterous husbands. And I know the whores are out there, too. But I think we can pray barrenness on them so they wont kill their babies. I dunno … this from the Lord really set me free. It has released me to pray in faith over adultery in Jesus name. It’s like FINALLY I hit Gold through all my diggin’.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

I walk out here to write sorta gun shy. Our reponse group has been in a bit of a stir lately concerning my writing. But I must throw caution to the wind and just write what the Lord is giving me. Forgive me if I get out there. But ya know, dear Wives and Mothers, we are in a spiritual war whether you believe in it or not. Or if you beleive in the devil or not. Our country is in a major physical war. We cannot look at our circumstances to judge what we will do. Well, none of the people in the Bible who amounted to anything followed the laws of sin and death. Jesus Christ died upon Calvary to set us free from the laws of sin and death.

We must live our lives as believers free from this world’s ways. The world will tell you that once your husband is a dope user he will always be one. Or a drunk or womanizer or whatever. But God’s word says that he will be a new creature in Christ once he comes to the Lord. We can’t judge ourselves by how much money we have or what kind of house we have. The Word says “Let the poor say I am rich and the weak say I am strong.” And the sick are healed in Jesus name. But we don’t live by this world’s standards.

We are from a heavenly kingdom and are just passin’ through this earth. We are here a short time to be a light in the darkness and to be salt and light. And we can’t do anything for God if we are just living by this world’s standards. We are not from the HELL kingdom of Satan. But we act like it as we walk in the atmosphere of fear and doubt. Satan doesn’t own us and fear is not our leading. If you are led by fear, then you are quenching the Spirit of Peace. You are killing the answers in your life.

If you are not in the Faith Kingdom and walking on the highways of Peace and Rest, then you are out of the will of God. Been there and done that. And I judge myself as a sinner. I pray I will stay out of the kingdom of fear and intimidation and walk with Jesus and His Spirit of faith and Happiness. We give Satan strength for his strongholds as we agree in unbelief. We help him build his kingdom and we shoot with fire from hell the angels that are tryin’ to come to us with a message of hope and faith. We must cast down vain imaginations and all that exalts itself above the knowledge of God. May God forgive me for my unbelief as I have seen His miracles and I am responsible to believe Him and not give up. He has trusted me with a hard trial but I have not passed the test lately. May God forgive me for my unbelief.

See, the walk of homemaking is the walk of faith. But sometimes if we are struck in the gut by the devil, we don’t feel like doing our homemaking. But, of course, we have to as the family needs to eat and have clean clothes to wear. But the JOY of Homemaking isn’t there if we haven’t yet prayed through. The load of suffering is so heavy that our creativity cannot flow. So it takes a while often for me to labor in prayer in order to come into the rest. The rest is when we have prayed through for our family and we know that we know that all is well. Because most of us are not going to be creative with mental confusion and a double mind.

Those who love much and are full of compassion find it hard to pray through. We are passionate for a cause and we won’t give up until we see the loved one set free. It doesn’t matter how long it takes — this mother is gonna suffer until she sees the glory. And it takes a woman like this to pray through. Because love will jump in the middle of the deepest ocean to rescue their baby. They will run into heavy traffic to save their child. No matter what they do, they are gonna grieve until they see their loved one on top. As Mother cries and grieves, the Lord hears her and this is her prayer. But she will have times of rest in this as she sees the vision set before her as God sees it. She sees the answer. She sees through a window of the future days. Not with eyes of this world but with the eyes of her spirit. A part of her lives in the heavenly kingdom and somehow she sees with the eyes that she will use in heaven. And she somehow hears with her spiritual ears. She can’t explain it to the world but she has seen a spiritual vision and she has heard His voice.

I mean at times our young children will have a knowledge that we wonder how they could have so much wisdom at such a young age. Well, it’s as though they are popping into a place in the future. And we, as born again believers, will live a lot longer in heaven than these few years on earth. And wouldn’t eternity, which is forever into millions and billions of years, at times speak to us on earth? We will fly in heaven longer then we have ever walked on the earth. Makes me want to fly now. And, no, Annie I ain’t on drugs … as you can tell, I don’t need ‘em? But on earth we have to use our physical eyes and ears and other senses. But in heaven we will have eyes that are spiritual that can see what we can’t see here on earth. Elijah prayed that the soldiers in God’s army would have spiritual eyes to see all the angels that were there to protect them. And, oh yes, we, too — who have labored in prayer for the past few months — have warring angels about us to protect us and guard us with their spiritual swords. We are not forsaken but cannot see God’s provisions. This is why we must walk by faith. We must know that His Word is true and He is answering our prayers.

A, I am so sorry for what you have been going through. But you have to know that God is on your side. And this battle is not too big for Him. This physical world is a small reality for a small amount of time. Actually it isn’t a reality at all … it is subject to change. But the things of God are yes and amen. God is the same yesterday today and forever. He was here before the world was made and He is the same now as He was then. But the world is here with the laws of death and sin. Satan is the prince of the power of the air in this world we live in. But we are from another kingdom. We are from the Kingdom of heaven. And we don’t play by Satan’s rules. Our rules are God’s rules which makes us look nuts in this world. But we pray and loose heaven upon our loved ones and they are loosed on earth.

Everyone in the Bible that did miracles heard from a supernatural God. They didn’t do great things for God because they went to Bible college. No, they heard a heavenly voice. They heard from an angel or the voice of God.

Love,
Connie

Dear Kitchen Saints,

Ya know Jim and I raised six children. And it wasn’t easy, either, as some of you know from raising your own large brood. Between Aunt Toot’s family and mine, we represented thirteen children. She had seven. And we often traded recipes or told each other where the best buys were.

Often when I would go to the store with Jim, I would pray for good buys and the Lord would show me hidden produce or something marked down. But often Jim would show me something to buy and I would say or he would say, “Well, we don’t need that — we can make that at home.” We would buy a lot of flour and yeast and things to make bread and biscuits and homemade pancakes. We would buy the old fashioned oatmeal for our family and make that instead of the expensive sugar cereals. But I would just pray silently, often alone in an aisle, and I would say to the Lord, “Lord, I am not goin’ to buy anything I can make at home with my own hands.” And I would think of the Mothers during the Depression era and ask the Lord what Wisdom would do about this or that need. I had an imaginary older Titus 2 Mother who I called Ruby that I would write to as I made out my grocery list. Ruby lived in a cabin in the woods and she had huge vegetable and herb gardens. And as I would go to the store, I would think of her and how brave she was to feed her family from what she could make with her hands. And I would pass up the paper towels and napkins as I thought I can make napkins and use cloth ones. Or I can use rags as paper towels.

If you have like six cloth napkins, just take a big safety pin and pin them together before you wash and dry them. This way they will all stay together. And you should have about three sets of them. They are super cheap at garage sales or just make some out of some scraps of material.

One thing the early mothers always had was a good set of rags. She had rags for dusting and some for cleaning the floor but never did she use her dust rag for anything but dusting. And her rag to scrub the floor was never used for anything else, either. Then the dishrag was just for dishes. And then she would have a little washcloth by the sink to wash Baby’s face and hands after a meal. Because if you wash Baby up with a dishrag, he could get a rash. But Mothers were very clean and didn’t use one rag for more than what it was to be used for. The world says to use disposables in order to just use it once and throw it away because of germs. But ya know Clorox bleach will get rid of germs — just use it on all of your rags. They even say that scientists put down some AIDS virus on a table and put bleach on it and it killed it. But anyway, the old time Mothers had a lot of rags but they kept them in order.

Old T-shirts make good dusting rags. Just cut the back out in a square. And put your dust rag on a special rack inside the sink door. Then old flannel shirts make good rags, too. Any old used clothes that will absorb well. Anything that is all cotton will make a nice rag.

Then make your napkins out of a nice print material. You will only use them for the day, anyway, and they don’t have to be real absorbent. I remember Aunt Toot telling about having some missionaries at her house and she didn’t have any napkins and they asked her for one and the kids got them some toilet paper. And ya know when ya need toilet paper, ya need toilet paper. And we had to buy that but used this also for Kleenex.

Then you do need a little pile of rags you know you will be throwing away. Like if the dog throws up or something, you will want to just throw that away. And back in the old days, we used cloth diapers and rinsed them out in the toilet and also the washrags we used to clean Baby’s bottom. You just soaked the diapers and rags, then washed them every few days. The stay at home mothers couldn’t afford such luxuries as disposable diapers. You just used them when you went on vacation and couldn’t wash diapers.

I have never bought expensive cleaning detergents. I just have Comet cleanser and bleach and vinegar to clean the house with. I use a wad of newspapers to clean the windows with a pail of water with vinegar in it. The old time Mothers used a lot of vinegar to clean with and cook with. Of course, they made their own vinegar.

But ya know we can always make it in this life, right? One way or the other? But we can’t go by this world’s system or “What will the neighbors think?” We have to have an imagination. And we can think “What would Ruby in her cabin do if she faced hard times?” We who stand here and read these writings are living proof that the Depression era Mothers made it and kept their families alive through many trials. And we have “that way” in us, too, as we are a product of the Rubies of yesteryear. Her love and prayers. We are stout hearted, too, and can spit into the wind and not have it smack us in the face.

As the times get darker and the Lord separates the girls from the women of God, we will be called upon to keep our homes. We will be called to some bulldog tenaciousness. Some Stay-at-Home grit! We won’t leave the ship. And Nehemiah taught the believers to fight with weapons in one hand and a tool to build in the other hand, and we will do the same thing. They say the Depression era Mother helped win the war as she stayed in her kitchen. In 1940, I think, is when WW2 started. And the Mothers had to use Rations Stamps because of the food shortages. Plus they needed the food for the soldiers in the War. But these Mothers were up for it. And we will make it, too, in our world today as stay at home mothers.

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

I have a bit of time to write. The Lord has been speaking to me in the past few days about Spiritual Warfare.

Yesterday I was watching Fox News and they were showing clips of Hilary Clinton with Bill. I thought to myself, “Boy, that woman is so smart.” I don’t agree with her. She has a wicked agenda. And she knows if she stays married to Bill, she will get a whole lot further than if she divorces him. I mean I cant imagine that the feminists put up with her. But anyway, Hilary isn’t going to allow her husband’s proven adultery to interrupt her wicked agenda. She wants partial birth abortion, etc. to be legal, and gay rights, and she won’t let anything, even her husband’s adultery, interrupt her.

To be truthful, I feel like the whole country is run by the Mafia. It’s the big businesses that support the leadership in our country, not the people. Folks say that if we don’t vote then we give up our rights to help run the country. But the folks up for election are not who I would vote for, anyway. Prayer is all that will help our country. But ya know if we look at Hilary and some of those die hard politicians, we should see how to fight spiritual battles. I mean reporters publish lies about these candidates running and there is no truth in it. I mean on either side! But these politicians just keep on smilin’ and never skip a beat. Because they have an agenda that they want to happen and they don’t mind taking a hit for it or well … doing whatever it takes. But we as Christian wives cry if things don’t turn out just the way we want and we want to bail out. But those rats on the hill know how to wait it out. I mean most of them do or they won’t get anywhere.

The Lord was speaking to me this morning about the Mafia. I mean these guys are not punk hoods. These guys mean business and are strong for wickedness. And this is what I think the Bible speaks of when it talks about powers and principalities and wickedness in high places. But we as believers don’t understand true wickedness and so we don’t know how to deal with it. We think that God will send us a Sunday school lesson and then we will get our prayers answered. But we are dealing with a much stronger adversary then what we know. We have to be warriors and have to know the devil’s strategy.

Gosh, the Lord wants me to say more here that I don’t want to say. Well, ya know when Wild Man went to prison the first time, he was young. Anyway, he said that when a young man went in there that sometimes an older guy would want to make a girl out of the young man. Wild Man said that this guy approached him and he took a big club and tried to beat this guy to death. Well, word got out in the yard that Wild Man was no one to mess with. After that Wild Man did OK and the worst of the men were his friends. And on the street, before I was saved, everyone knew that if anyone was to mess with ya even a little bit, then you were to deck ‘em … right off. Don’t play games, just deck ‘em. In other words, make the first punch count? Well, we as wives and mothers who are dealing with all kinds of wickedness have to be like a gangster at times. I mean if we would take a few lessons from them we would be out ahead.

We need to pray and believe God and then we need to stand lean and mean and not let the devil see us sweat. We need to forget Dr. Dobson and Billy Graham’s generation. Forget the Sunday School lessons. We need to be street rats for Christ. Jesus Christ was a warrior. He was a Revolutionist. I think we Mothers need some Moxie and attitude. We should make the devil afraid of us. We need to be quiet and still and make the devil wonder what we are up to. I mean rather then spilling our guts to everyone who will listen.

Spiritual Battles

But ya know I learned a lot from Jim as far as raising the family. He had done some very hard time. And when we were just plain up against a wall raising our kids, we would just not move either way. We would just hang back until the Lord answered our prayers. We didn’t want to start screaming bloody murder and yet many people would have. But we would just remain silent. Satan will set you up to give up. But if you just remain silent, he can’t lead you on with fear.

The people in the Bible were fighters against the evil about them. Their lives were a continual life and death situation. But once we pray, we need to get an attitude about it and refuse to fear. We need to stand as having done all to stand. We need to be confident in Him and steady ourselves. In this, making those who contend against us to wonder what we are up to.

Again we just need to remain steady, confident, and silent but deadly.

Love,
Connie