Sunday, December 17, 2017

Archive for September, 2006

We Have Jesus Christ

Dear Mothers,

Thursday Emily, Dixie’s daughter, stopped for a visit. It was a visit outta this world, of course. And Em brought me groceries as her Mom always did when I had the whole family here.

As we visited, Emily was telling me about when her Mom would be in prayer at the kitchen table. Emily said she knew well not to interrupt when her Mom was praying. But Em said when she was young, she would want something really bad like a new bike or something. So she would get anxious about it and, knowing her mom’s prayers were always answered, she would try to interrupt her mom’s prayers with, “Mom, ask God if I can have a new bike. ” (Or whatever it was at the time.) Dixie would turn from the face of God to Emily and say, “You ask Him, Emily.” And I can’t count the times I have heard Dixie say to Emily as we were all visiting at the kitchen table, “Emily, you have Jesus Christ. What more do you want?”

Em is half Dixie and half Bill, and even having half of Dixie in for an afternoon visit is miraculous — always miraculous. Emily strayed, as Mary has, and Em says in Dixie style, “Connie, Mary is going to be alright. I prayed about it. It’s all going to be OK.” And I told Em, “If you say so, Em … and I surely agree with ya.” Jill says Mary will be OK, too, if I can just live through it.

I have to laugh when I think of Emily as she sat on my couch and talked to me. She has a wonderful sense of humor. She says, “I seen plenty as you three sat at your table and prayed.” And then she would roll her eyes towards my dining room. We three mothers entertained our kids with signs and wonders that we mothers didn’t even know the kids noticed. Emily is only about 29 but she has a lot of wisdom to share with me. See, when you are a very spiritual mother and you teach your children at your knee, you just think they will know how to live your teachings once they get out on their own. But, see, Satan is out to get you as Mom and if you are spiritual, he can’t get ya? You know how to protect yourself. But once your prize possessions, your children, get out there and away from your protection, then he goes and tries to get them. They think that when they are home and protected that things will always be that way. You don’t put the children around crazy people and so they don’t know who is crazy and who isn’t once they get into the world. And see, we three mothers made such a haven of rest for our kids that they almost felt a holy peace all the time. But once they get out there in the world, the world nabs ’em. But really, it is a test and they have to pass this test on their own.

See, Jill and Dixie and I all had parents who didn’t really know the Lord. We were faithful wives and mothers but we had no backup. Plus we had unsaved husbands. So we often had to fight our parents to do the right thing and follow God. Then we have kids who fought us for our faith, too. So the scripture that says “we fight not against flesh and blood but against powers and principalities and wickedness in high places” is true.

No matter how the accusers were packaged, it is the devil’s voice screaming condemnation. We have to know who’s who in our fights of faith. But see, like Em said, “Connie, if the house was on fire, Mom would have just said in a calm voice, ‘Well, I guess the house is on fire. I guess we better go.'” You couldn’t rattle Dixie with a rattlesnake. When Jim was at his worst, Dixie would say in a calm voice, “What’s wrong with you? Jim is healed.” I could have killed her when she would say that because he didn’t look healed to me. But Dixie would tell everyone Jim was healed. She always said, “Connie, don’t worry what people think — just look at Jesus Christ.” And last night I prayed for Mary, age 21. I prayed most of the night. And when I woke up this morning, the thought came to me, “Connie, you have Jesus Christ. What more do you need? He has promised to meet all of your needs. He says in His Word that all things are possible.”

And ya know, God’s Word says that He is greater in us than he who is in the world, the devil. Our strength is in our confidence and quietness in God. There is no reason to fear for any of us who have unsaved loved ones. Or for husbands who don’t obey the Word. All is well. Jesus Christ hasn’t been knocked off His throne. There is no truth outside of Jesus and His Word. He is the way the Truth and the Life. Is He your truth? Is He my truth? If He says, “Anything we ask in Jesus name we receive” then is this true to us? Or do we think He is a liar like Satan? Mark 11:23 and 24 says that we are to believe that we have what we ask for. If we believe it, wouldn’t we tell it like that, at least to ourselves?

Yes, we must cry out to God first until we catch the revelation that our loved ones are OK. But once we get it tight in our hearts that “all is well” ya know what? The Devil wants to steal the truth from our hearts. And we have to keep the truth in our hearts so it can bear fruit. See, Satan has tried to scare me to death. Jim died and then Mary and Brandon went crazy. I mean, duh, let me see … “Connie, is the devil tryin’ to take you down or what?” Well, yeah, he would like to. But ya know I sense lately that he is more afraid of me than he used to be. And I don’t plan on dyin’ quietly. I am gonna call fire outta heaven before I go. And I will tell the devil one thing. “If Jim got saved, Mary will come back to the Lord.” ‘Cause Jim was a much bigger gun than Mary ever will be. Hello? Satan has meant these many trials of my faith to destroy me but God has meant it for good. “Oh, dear Jesus, I have been here before. I have been here before.” And Jim was delivered and set free. And like Philipa told me the other night on the phone, “Connie, if you hadn’t written your testimony in Above Rubies, I would never have read it here in England. Your testimony saved me and my children.” Oh, Satan hates that testimony that Jim was set free. And he knows I am a writer and I write what the Lord does for me. I am a giant tattletale. And when I tell it, I tell it to the world. I have told it all over the world through Above Rubies magazine.

Some of you ask how I went through all of that with Jim and got a miracle. Well, if you have kept up with my writings on Mary and my prayers for her, you will know how I made it with Jim. One day at a time. The hard way. Ya have to not care if you are shot down a hundred times — it’s the gettin’ back up that is powerful. Ya learn to put up with yourself and your mistakes. Because no one does this faith walk without mistakes. I have made glaring mistakes with Mary. But you just don’t worry about your mistakes … you just forgive yourself and get back up.

God trusts you in the dark. He sees the arrows hit your heart but He trusts you to take care of your wounds and get back up. The worse the trial, the more you know that He trusts you to take care of it. He don’t tell ya everything to do. He just expects you, as a flesh and Holy Spirit filled covenant woman, to deal with the situation at hand. He is all Spirit but we as women are on the earth to be keepers of the nest and those who live in it. God expects us to minister to the family. When we have done all we can do inside the wall of home and need a supernatural intervention, then He comes and gives it to us. But if we drop away from Him and His spirit, then we are on our own to find Him and get back up. And I fall every day. But see, Satan wants to tell you that you will never make it because you fall all the time. Or that you just don’t have what it takes to get back up. Or that you are too old or this trial has taken too long. Oldest trick in the book of Satan’s is “Well, this has taken so long. If God was gonna do something, he would have by now.” Mostly Satan lies to us and deceives us. He likes to get rumors goin’ and lies to flyin’. Don’t believe the lies. Believe God.

And ya know, I am almost 60 years old. And I have been walkin’ the faith walk a long time. And I have a nice notch on my gun that I like to take out of the holster and show you all that God saved Jim. But with all of that, I don’t mind tellin’ ya it’s been hard lately. And I don’t know how some of you are makin’ it in this wicked society. But ya know it ain’t all about me. It’s all about Jesus Christ. His grace is sufficient for us. Where sin abounds grace much more abounds.

They are saying on Christian TV that about four percent of the young folks under 25 profess to be Christians. As the generations have dwindled down less and less, each generation is choosing not to be Christians. Oh, this breaks my heart. The school of the Holy Spirit is inside the walls of the home. As mothers are serious about home and family, they come closer to God. But we have so many of our leaders who believe in birth control. And when you take that stuff, you shut the children of God off. You stop the work of God. Just like if John the Baptist’s mother had been on birth control. Aren’t you chosen of God enough to have a John the Baptist? Or are you called to baby your dog and cat for the rest of your life? We Mothers who have children under 25 have been brought to the stage for such a time as this. Let’s not shame the cause of Jesus Christ. We may be raising up leaders even now that will save our world.

See, what I teach is grassroots stuff. And many of you will be called to raise up children to change our world. See, the church teachings usually don’t come up with the new stuff in the Spirit. They love birth control which brings a deception — it’s good for business, but not for Christian families. It was years before they figured out homeschool. The true teaching of God’s heart will come from a man in the wilderness like a John the Baptist. And lately, as I look at the postcard Dan’s band sent me from Oregon, I have quit asking “Lord, why do the punk rockers love me?” And I was joking about asking them if I could join their band. But lately I am practicing the piano a lot. I really don’t have anything else to do but start a REVOLUTION. Not that I think I could. But I am sure Jesus Christ would like to start one and, if I am willing, He is able. And ya know the kids now days need a lot more then we needed to make it. And the church is gonna have to come up with a lot more than they have been to keep the young adults. They need and want reality.

I praise God for the trials I have had with Mary. My heart has been broken and my flesh has been burned away. My food and my drink is Jesus. But I do believe we are all going through the school of hard knocks. And if God doesn’t teach us in the quiet times how to work when things get really tough on the earth, does He really love us? I praise Him today for the lessons I am learning. And I am hiding the word in my heart concerning Mary. And I am Praising Jesus Christ for the Victory! Because if we don’t keep Him and His word first place in our hearts, then it can’t work. No, we can’t confess negative. But to me, if the Word is in our hearts, it will come out our mouth without us having to confess anything. It is our hearts, our souls, our minds.

What is in our inner court? We must be quiet and confident in God and hold His Word in our arms, as if He were a newborn baby. We must love His Word more than we love the world or the things of the world.


The Supernatural

Dear Mothers and Wives,

Ya know for so long in the church world, it seems that either ya got preaching on the gifts of the Spirit or the teachings on marriage and the home. And the teachings on the home never have the teachings on miracles in it. But as we look at the Word of God, we see the teachings on the home mixed with the supernatural.

In the Word of God, supernatural births are common. Ya know when Zacharias, John the Baptist’s father, went into the temple as the priest to make sacrifices for the people, an angel spoke to this priest and he said, “Fear not. God has heard your prayers and you will have a son and his name will be John.” Well, we know the story as Zacharias started to argue with the angel in unbelief. And then the angel struck the priest dumb and he wasn’t to speak until after the baby was born. Zach wasn’t used to seeing that many angels and thought he could argue with one and win. In the old days, Zach had prayed for a son when he was young. But he gave up on that prayer and decided to go ahead and live his life without a child. But with God, there is no time or age. God doesn’t care if you are past your change of life or whatever. He gives you a baby when He says it’s time. The same with Sarah. But my point is this. If we don’t listen to the angels, we will be punished.

It should be a common thing for us to hear from angels. It was common in the Word of God. And ya know it is important to read the Word and stand on it. But we must not neglect the Holy Spirit or the heavenly messengers. The heavenly messengers should be more real to us than the flesh. I was saved in a Baptist church. I mean when you went in there, they gave you a list of things that they didn’t believe in. They didn’t believe in tongues or the gifts of the Holy Spirit. But we as believers need the heavenly messengers and we need the gifts of the Holy Spirit. For us to not listen to an angel when he speaks or to not speak to an angel that we sense in the room is to walk blindfolded, deaf and dumb before the Lord.

We as Christian wives and Mothers should be living halfway between heaven and earth. We shouldn’t be judging our lives by what the world says about us. We should judge ourselves by heaven. The rules of heaven should apply in our homes. “His kingdom come. His will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Our homes cannot be run as heaven is run if we don’t believe in the supernatural power of God. We need heavenly wisdom from God. We need in our homes the supernatural voice of the Holy Spirit. We need to know how to shake the heavens with our prayers. And you can’t do that, dear wife, as you respond to the flesh. Even our husbands have to get out of the way when we storm heaven. Yes, serve your husband as the King of the Home. A good wife is on earth and tends to the things of the earth but she has one foot always in Glory.

Every day almost, I tell God, “Ya know, God, I am so glad I stormed the gates of heaven for Jim.” I have a victory in my life that no one can take away. I can feel the glory of in my feet and coming up my legs as I teach this. I went through hell with Jim. But I fought all of hell for Jim. He was my foundation. And now as he has gone onto glory. I have that happiness that I know I fought the good fight of faith. I had to fight little demons and big ones and middle sized ones. One time Jim had been missing for seven months. I didn’t know where he was. Heck, he would rob stores, and what have ya, and run away. The police couldn’t find him. He was a good one to hide, let me tell ya. Only God knew where that rascal went. No one could find him. The devil spoke to me in the night. “Jim is dead.” And then the devil would give me pictures in my mind of a gravestone with Jim’s name on it. During the day, the devil spoke to me “He is dead. He is dead. Quit prayin’ for him. You are wasting your time. Go on with your life. He is dead.”

Beat the Hell Out

See, the devil kept lying to me that Jim was dead and I shouldn’t waste my time. He told me the party was over and I had lost the battle. What has he told you to make you quit prayin’? He is an expert at telling you that you have lost the battle. I love the part in the Bible where the Syrian King tells God’s people under Hezekiah that he had fought a lot bigger battles then their sorry army and he would win over them. And Satan tells us that, too.

Well, so I go on with God as the devil is screamin’ at me. Devil says, “He is dead — quit prayin’.” Well, I was tearin’ up hell prayin’ for Jim and the devil was pullin’ every punch to try to get me to stop. Why? Because he knew that I would teach this stuff all over the world and start a Revolution. He didn’t like me and he still don’t. And he still tries to get me to quit.

Anyway, back to my story. I would plead with God, “Lord, please show me your will. Is Jim dead, Lord? Please tell me.” And one day the Holy Ghost came over me. And I spiritually took this little lyin’ demon upstairs with me and I read him the word of God. I told him I live in the true vine and He is Jesus Christ. I said to him, “Do you believe that Jesus is God and that He came in the flesh and that he saved me from my sins?” And I heard this demon speak to me and he said, “Jesus is not the Son of God and he didn’t come in the flesh and if you stick with me, I will tell you many things you know not.” Well, I didn’t care to know what a demon knew so I rebuked that lying spirit and I cast it out of my house. I then prayed for Jim and he came home within the week.

We have an enemy. His name is Satan. And some of you listen to him but won’t listen to the heavenly messengers around you. And the Lord is chastening you for your unbelief. We can’t live this spiritual life and amount to anything in God without the supernatural voice of God. Satan don’t care if you believe in the supernatural or not. He just goes ahead and lies to you and condemns you and makes you cry UNCLE. But you need to listen to the heavenly angels. Heavenly messengers are about us. Heaven is very close right now. Our country is in danger and the angels are closer to us then ever before. They know we fear and are perplexed as danger and heartaches are all about us. But we are not alone — the heavenly messengers are attending us.

One other time, Jim called me and was coming home. The devil said, “Well, the police will pick him up the minute he gets on the block.” Satan wanted me again to quit prayin’, give up, roll over and play dead. I prayed, “Lord, let Jim come home and then give us some time before they find him.” I prayed he would be invisible. He came home, got a job and became the assistant manager at a restaurant. Every day the highway patrol came in for coffee and Jim sat with them and ate donuts. Jim was even on TV advertising the restaurant. No one ever saw him. We didn’t have a car and he walked to work every day. Then, as he wasn’t saved, he politely robbed the place and took off one night. The Holy Spirit told me he did that and I called the Police. No one could figure out how I knew that he had robbed the place and took a cab out of town. But I knew as the Lord told me. I told them right where to find Jim in the next town and Jim walked right to them with the money, all of it. In court, the judge told Jim, “If it wasn’t for your wife, Mr. Hultquist, you would be doin’ a lot of time.” Well, Wild Man knew that. It was years later in the prison, an angel came to Jim in his cell and God began a healing in Jim.

Think of what could happen if every wife in our country would pray for their husbands and not give up. Think of how the crime rate would go down. I ain’t braggin on me. I am braggin on Jesus and His angels. I was in the lions den and it wasn’t fun. But we must fight the good fight of faith. And we can’t be listening to the flesh, ours our anyone else’s.

Fight the Fight of Faith

And there is nothing worse on this earth than feeling the rejection of your husband. Wild Man and I had 26 years of joy after 12 years of hell. But God gave me double blessings for all that I suffered. One day Jesus said, “It’s over, Connie, your miracle is here.” And this man who had left me 30 some odd times was redeemed and set free by the precious blood of the Lamb. King Jesus told Satan to go back to the pits of hell never to touch His anointed again.

And Papa, who had been a criminal, died in a hospital room with all of his 6 babies weeping and his wife honoring him. Danny cried, “Papa, oh, Papa!” And all of the children said their good-byes. And the hospital chaplain was there and he was an old man. And he said, “I have never seen such love in a family. I have worked here many years but the Love like this I have never seen.” All of my children cried for Jim and hugged him in his death bed. And they cried upon each other as loving brothers and sisters. A day before Papa died, he waited for Christian Joy to come. He had such a special love for Christian Joy and lingered in his bed and wouldn’t die until she came from NYC. When she came into the room, his countenance lifted. His eyes were closed but when he heard her voice, he glowed. She was one of the first 3 children that was abandoned many times with me. But she knew that Papa now loved her. Her husband Jason has a personality like Jim’s. Johnny was left, too, but has a heart of love for his family. Jimmy, the oldest, still has a few issues. But honored his Dad to the end.

How did I live through all of this? It was because of the power of Jesus and His supernatural messengers. Ya know when Satan comes up with the supernatural evil in your life, you can’t fight it with the flesh. You have to have the working power of the Holy Ghost going on. Satan will bang you back and forth like a ping pong ball and laughing all the way.

Whatever you need to do, learn the gifts of the Spirit. We have to fight the good fight of faith and not give up. But it takes more than the bulldog tenaciousness not to give up. You have to have the angels with ya in the lions den. Stay out of the world and their foolishness. Get wicked, if ya have to, to stop what the worldly people are telling you to do. Tune ’em off. Be ruthless. Listen to the Holy Spirit.


The Martyrs

Dear Wives and Mothers,

Oh, so many of you have troubles in your marriage because of the church and religion. Also women are not priests. See, you have to go by the Bible, not by what the church says. I mean you may get it all to work out for ya. But if you want the mind of Christ, that is another story. Our husbands are the priests of the home, whether he is full of lust or he don’t read the Bible, or what not. He is the priest of the home. Eli was not a good priest but he blessed Hannah and she became pregnant. Eli was right part of the time. The worst thing and most dangerous thing that some of you are doing is taking spiritual authority in your home over your husband. DANGEROUS STUFF! I mean do you want to know the truth or do you want to go to church? Do you want a marriage or do you just want to play games with God?

In the past about 50 years, divorce has been granted over anything at all. But before that, you had a very hard time getting a divorce. In Ireland, divorce is illegal. Marriage is a holy union that is to bring you to Jesus. We must be ready to die for our marriages. We should be as martyrs to save our marriages at any cost.

Our example is not what did the church ladies do when their husband didn’t do the dishes. Our example is Jesus Christ. We are to submit willingly to our husbands, even to those who are unbelievers. The priest of the home who is the unbeliever still calls the shots. If he leaves the home, then let him leave. But if he remains in the home, then there is still hope for him. Some of us wives are bond slaves. Jesus paid a price for us to be free, but we won’t go. We are like Ruth who chose to stay. We are going to stay with our husbands no matter what. Even if he leaves us, or even if he is like Jim in heaven, we are bound to them. I can by Jewish law remarry. But this is not in my heart. I want to serve Jim by serving his children and grandchildren all of my life.

God wants us to serve Him and fight for His love as true servants of Christ. If we as wives can’t serve our husbands with passion and sacrifice, then what picture of our service to Christ do we have? If a woman says, “I love Jesus and I would die for Him. I will carry my cross and die daily to serve Jesus.” Then where is that example in her life? If you can’t serve a husband, you won’t serve God, either.

Many of you women are submitting to your pastor and not to your husband. We are to submit to the pastor that our husbands submit to. And only submit to the parts the husband obeys. It is not our job to be the Holy Spirit to our husbands. Pride tells us to boss our husbands.

If Jim ever got into my kitchen, I threw him out politely. I want a real man, not Mommy’s helper. Jim used to tell folks, “My wife won’t let me into the kitchen.” I mean he got there if I got too sick to wrestle him. But, no, if he tried to fix supper one night a week, I would have hated it. My homemaking is my business as keeper at home.

And I agree with Mz Violet that the Christians in the church should be judged by the church. And these believers have come to this church and want to be judged. And this is good. But if the wife goes to that church and her husband doesn’t, then the wife can’t go home and judge the husband by the same rules. Her husband isn’t even saved. And the wife is not the judge over her husband. The wife is not the spiritual head. And really she shouldn’t be going to church without her husband’s covering. I mean you can play games with God all ya want. And if your problems ain’t that bad, you will get away with all this church stuff. But if you are in some real trouble like [another lady on our group], you are going to have to go to the bare bones of Christianity. You will have to get to the blood and guts of the gospel. And the Word says that we as Christian wives are to act like Christ at the cross. (1 Peter 2 and 3) We are like Christian slaves.

Christian Feminism

Some of you ladies are judging your lives and your husbands’ lives with a backdrop of Christian Feminism. And if ya keep it up, your men will hate you. They will have a private life behind your back.

You are afraid to be a long suffering wife as you feel your husband will be one up on ya. You need to comfort your man as your king. Love him open-endedly. Not so he will do something for you. Love him as you love Jesus Christ. Abandon yourself unto your husband as unto the Lord.

If you put the church and their authority over the top of your husband’s authority, then he will hate you for it and he will hate your church. Don’t do that to a man. It’s heartbreaking to me that you would. To hell with what the world has to say about your marriage. Shut the door on the world and love your husband as a love slave to your true husband, Jesus Christ. Love your husband and want him as you do Jesus Christ.

Let your marriage bed be honorable and clean in God’s sight. Don’t dishonor your marriage bed with birth control. And pray when you are with your husband that your lovemaking will honor the Lord and glorify Him.

Well, Baby is here so I have to quit.


Good News

Oh, wow, the Lord is working. I told Mary and her boyfriend that I was just letting them go. Like I wrote before about it. I am not throwing the baby out with the bathwater concerning Mary. I am gonna walk with her through the valley of the shadows. Anyway, I invited her and Lane to the family reunion tomorrow. They can’t come so I invited them to my house for supper next week. Mary said she was so grateful that I did this, as she wants me to like Lane. I just said I don’t want to be in their business. I feel that they must carry their own load. It is not my load to carry. I put so much into Mary, as her Mother, and I am not going to just hold her wrong over her head and possibly lose her completely. But I asked Mary if she wanted for me to take them uptown for supper at a restaurant or if she wanted to eat here. Mary said she really wanted to come here. Lane offered to buy the groceries for supper. But I said no, that I had enough. Mary said, “Mom, I have missed your cooking so much.” And honestly, this is what she wants me to fix for the family dinner. “Burritos, bubble pizza, fried chicken and mashed potatoes, and Swiss steak made from hamburger with carrots and potatoes in it.” I said, “Nina (nickname), I can’t fix all of that for one meal.” So I told her I would fix one supper and then we can get together each week and I will fix something else. She was so happy on the phone. I hadn’t heard her laugh in so long. It was music to my ears.

Oh, raising a handmaiden for Jesus is hard. Ya gotta fight a war to do it. But I just have loved Mary so much. I have tried to give her up to the Lord and not call her and just let the Lord do whatever. But my love for her is so deep. I would just lay on the bed in grief. And as we love our kids, we shine the light of Jesus upon them and they can take care of their own sins. Mary is a writer and I pray that someday she will write for the Lord. I am so happy tonight as I feel the Lord’s hand upon Mary and me and Lane.

I now have to support myself and make this home run like it should. I just want to be found faithful to Papa’s six babies and his home. I am the example to my children. Papa’s brood. This is holy ground, this home. It is built on prayers and suffering.

And all things do indeed work out for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose. Our mistakes that scar us for life are often turned into our greatest blessings. For how can we minister to broken hearts if we never had one? I am expecting so many miracles out of this trial with Mary. My heart has been so grieved for her that I have said to the Lord lately, “I am so glad, Lord, that I never had more then six children.” And I have never said that before. But my heart has been so broken that I felt I was having a heart attack. But tonight I feel relieved and happy. I heard Mary laugh and I heard her say, “I love you, Mom, and I miss all of your cooking.”

Well, I sure love Mary and I am willing to walk with her, no matter where she goes, because I could never give up on her. And I know the Lord won’t give up on Mary. She was my seventh child. I had one miscarriage. In the Old Testament, they would have stoned Mary. But I am just her Mother, a sinner, too, and not a priest. I am the intercessor who cries out to God on her behalf. I know I should be harder on Mary but I can’t, as she is Papa’s baby girl.

Mary Loved Papa

I just think Mary loved Jim so much and this is why she has picked Lane who is 19 years older then she is. Mary even, up until Jim died, would come and sit on his lap. He would give her anything he had. Jim loved all of his kids the same but he had a soft spot for Mary.

Jim loved us and wanted peace in our home. I know he is lookin’ out of heaven now with a smile that Mary and her Mama spoke in happiness and peace. Jim had been forgiven much and loved much. No matter what his kids did, they were his kids and he would tell me, “Mama, they will be OK. You taught them right.” And I would tell Jim that he taught them right, too, and he would say, “But you taught them more then I could.” Jim wasn’t one to preach. He just wasn’t a preacher. But he was a good man.

Ya know when I had all the kids home and the last three were like 1, 4 and 6, I would ask Jim to the store or some place just to get outta the house and away from the kids for a while. And Jim would feel so bad when I said that. He didn’t think a mother should ever feel overwhelmed with her babies. He would say, “Well, our kids are just as good as anyone else’s.” I would try to explain to him that I knew that but I was just needing some quiet peace. But I quit saying that stuff as he never understood it and it hurt his feelings. Later on, I would say to Jim, “Our kids are purebreds, right, Papa?” He would smile and say, “Yes they are.”

Jim remembered that I had forgiven him many times. And he treated our kids in the same way. What we sow in our marriage we will reap down the line.

I am learning slowly but surely that the greatest gift we can give our families is love. Love covers a multitude of sins. we need faith hope and love but the greatest of the gifts is love.


Being Mother

Dear Mothers,

I was so upset this morning and I called our Mary at 5:00 AM. I told her I was calling the police if she didn’t get ahold of me. I was so worried about her. All of my friends said, “Leave it with God. Don’t call her.” But I just love her so much and I wanted to just hear her voice. She finally called me back. And I just got in agreement with her. We agreed to disagree. I finally feel better.

As with all of Papa’s seeds, I walk with them through the valley of the shadows of death. I told Mary that I could no longer carry this burden — it’s killing me. Mary is young and what she is doing looks right to her. And it has to look right to me, too, to a degree. We can’t as Mothers yell to a sinking child out on a raft in the dark, stormy seas and say, “Why are you so stupid, floating a raft in the dark on a night like this?” They are going to bounce off their own experiences which ain’t much and do what looks right to them. And I guess living with this guy looks right to Mary. And I am not willing to throw her life away — or, in other words, throw the baby out with the bath water. Or tear down the dang house because the window is broke. I am gonna get in there and walk this thing out with Mary.

I am not going to put her down. Yes, I judge her. We as believers are to judge a situation. I judge this situation to be wrong. But I am human and flesh and blood. I am part sinner and part righteous. God had to send Jesus in the flesh to speak to us as sinners. And Jesus walked with the sinners and brought them to salvation. God can’t touch the sin but he sent Jesus who was part man and part God. I just told Mary, “Let’s just forget it.” And I am going to forget it. She is my daughter and has the blessing of a righteous Mother upon her. She can’t ever change the fact that her Mother was a covenant keeper. And if she marries this guy she is with, then I will open my heart to him and bless him. God’s permissive will is better than throwing Mary into a life with unbelievers.

Mary has many gifts in the Holy Spirit. Problem is, she is a day late and a dollar short. She is young and lost a baby girl at only 7 weeks old, and now her Daddy.

This whole thing makes me want to die myself. And yet I won’t, just to make the devil mad. I had lost my moxie for a while but I feel it coming back. It’s in the back of my legs right now but is climbing up to my heart. Satan tried to put me down for my fire — told me I was no lady. I don’t know why I am such a character. I don’t know why I try to catch bullets in my teeth. Or chew gunpowder instead of gum. But if I lose my moxie, I feel naked.

But I know that we mothers will have to try something else. We are standing up to walls of brick that are crushing us to bits. We will, I think, on the hard cases have to give these kids the burdens of their own sins and smile and ask them out for lunch. Oh, my mercy. If they don’t love us, they won’t love God. We can’t teach them anything if they refuse us. We are Mothers and not priests of the home. We are the nurses who must comfort the sinner who doesn’t want to take their medicine. I taught Mary. I nursed her at my heart. I gave her all I had to give. I taught her the Word of God and have prayed for her with a heart that has nearly died of brokenness. I am not the priest of the home who can’t touch the sins of the people lest I be defiled. I am the flesh and blood Mother who carries Christ to the sinners.

What hurts me the most is that Mary will never know the love Jim and I had for each other. She will never understand how to stand for the marriage covenant like Jim and I did. And yet if she marries this guy, she will carry a sword — a thorn in the flesh that may make her the writer she was meant to be. All things work together for Good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose. Brandon won’t fight for Mary. And to me, he is a priest.

Through the Valley of the Shadows

I was thinkin’ this morning about my dear Jim who died the first part of April of this year. He was my first and only husband. Not because we were both so easy to get along with, either.

For the new ladies coming on here who don’t know my testimony, I will tell it a minute. I was married in prison to Jim and then I got saved. For 12 years then, Jim was in and out of prison and we were separated many times. Then in 1979, God delivered Jim through many prayers and then God gave us 26 years of happiness in our marriage. The Lord gave me more then double joy for all the sorrow I had known. And I am so happy to say that I am glad I went with Jim through the depths of hell. I walked with him through chain gangs and court rooms and jail cells. I am glad I did. I don’t regret it. Boy, I feel that moxie comin’ up in my legs. I am not ashamed of the scars upon my heart. GLORY TO GOD!

I am not here to prove my reputation as a writer. I am gonna give you girls the truth. And while I went to the pits and into a maximum security state prison to tell my husband I loved him, I have also seen the miracles of God. I have flown on the high places of the earth with Jim. If Wild Man and I meet anywhere at all, it is that we meet in the miracles. And had I not been willing to go to Jim in the prisons, I wouldn’t get to see him when I die and fly to glory. And heaven wouldn’t be heaven without Wild Man.

Ya know I could have been a missionary and gone to other lands. But to pray for Jim and to see him become a good husband and father meant so much more to me. A missionary can win souls and go home if she gets sick. She gets a vacation sometimes to recuperate. But a wife to an unbeliever has no time to rest. And I am glad the Lord called me to this man to minister life and hope to him in a dark prison. I am glad to say I went as the Lord called me. The guards would taunt me and tell me that Jim was institutionalized. “He will always be in prison and never support a family or keep a job,” they told me. Well, he got healed and ended up supporting a wife and 6 children. He paid off the house I live in. So as a widow, I have no house payment. He kept up on the repairs of the house, too. I never worked a day in my life outside the home after he was saved. See, I was Jim’s wife, not his priest. I am a helper and not an end in myself.

Now the Lord calls me to maintain Jim’s memory. This morning I looked at my wedding picture up on the piano. I thought, “I will never remarry.” Ya know why? Because this Love Story of Jim’s and my life has to be told. I always have this feeling that I have never written anything. But what I write is just practice for what I really need to write someday. The Lord is waiting on the right time for the right words to be written. So in the meantime, I am practicing writing to you all.

Ya know when you follow God to the end and you finish the course, it gives ya courage. If I were to put all of Jim’s things away and start again on a new marriage, I think it would weaken my writing. I just want to somehow shout it from the housetops the miracles God gave me. I had a husband and he was the husband of my youth. I grew up with him and lived my life with him. I walked with him through the valley of the shadows. Through the darkness of prisons and jail cells. I learned to know God as Jim led me along, as I submitted to him as my husband. He was my priest in prison or out. He was my husband in good times and bad. We saw the Lord heal us supernaturally. We faced the hard times together with our kids. When we began to homeschool and those around us were going to jail, Papa said he would go if need be and I said, “No, I will go, Papa.” John used to tell Jim that if he spanked him, he could be put in jail. So Jim quit for a while. Then he told John that because he loved him, he wasn’t going to let him get away with his rebellion. And spanked him.

Housewifery and Punk Rockers

Dear Mothers,

Good Morning. I have enjoyed Mz Violet’s writings. I know you all do, too. She writes so nice and quiet. And me … oh, Lord Jesus, come quickly! It’s all too much for even me and I write it. Yesterday, when I wrote all of that, I was playing with Olivia, 4 years old, and taking care of 6-week-old Olivia Rose. But I am sure the way it read, you probably thought I was chopping meat or something. I vowed today that I am going to write nice and quiet. That’s a tall order for a lion tamer.

Last night in the night, I suffered like a dog, but the Lord delivered me and I am just fine now. If it were not for Jesus Christ, I would be as dead as a doornail. And most people who write don’t write out that they were almost as dead as a doornail the night before. But with me, it is what you see is what you get. In my day, nice ladies never told all like I do. But I just figure with all the falderal out there, I didn’t want to add to it. And, heck, I figure I will only be on the earth about 20 more years, at the most, and then I will leave this earth behind and never look back.

I told the Lord this morning, “Ya know, Lord, I should have never had kids. What was I thinking?” With Jim’s and my genes the way they were and I had 6 children? What a gambler! Most of ’em are halfway alright, anyway. Well, it depends on what you think is alright.

Dan is in this rock band? Well, he is in NYC right now, but is ready to go to Oregon to be with his band. Those punk rockers are a scream. A few days ago, they send me a postcard. I thought, “I get a postcard from the band?” This boggles my mind. Casey, the head of the band, tells me the news. And that Dan will be coming to Oregon and they will all be home for Christmas. Then that evening, Christian Joy calls and Jason got a new accordion over Ebay. Chrissy wanted him to play me a song over the phone. It sounded like he was playin’ the polka all the way from NYC. If I was writing fiction I couldn’t make up a funnier life then this one I live.

And Christian Joy is trying to get into this deal for her clothing designs that she could make a million bucks. Some kids go to NYC to make it big and then they don’t and they come home. My Christian Joy went to NYC and really did make it big. Of course, why not? And on her website is a link to Happy Housewifery? Hello? Don’t ask me — I just live here. And, anyway, Christian Joy says, “Mom, if I get this big deal I am after, then you won’t have to babysit anymore and I will buy you a real computer.” (I have an email machine.) I told her I would babysit, no matter how much money I have. I love children about me.

But ya know the way the punk rockers love me, I just wonder if I will go on the road with ’em? I used to tease them and play the piano and ask them if I could be in their band. They would seriously, with no smile and spiked hair, tattoos, and earrings say, “No way — absolutely no way.” Really, I can’t figure out why punk rockers love me. I think my kids tell them tall tales about Jim and me. Well, maybe some of those tall tales are true?

Well, I have to laugh this morning! For some of you new ladies coming on, “Welcome to my world. Sorry, what you see is what you get.” And I wanna tell you all, too. Aunty Tootie came over the other night to minister to me. I value her friendships so much. I don’t think I could make it without her. Please pray blessings on her today and all of the friends who came to pray with me just lately.


I just love Mz Violet’s writings because they are so soothing. They are a nice balance to my firewater.

One thing I wanted to write about is this. Mz Violet was talking about clothes and ironing and all. In the winter, I like to wear the long skirts with long underwear under them. Well, when it gets really cold, I wear cut off jogging pants under my skirts. I love to go to the Salvation Army and get big sweaters. But on the days I bake, I like to wear sweatshirts with my skirts. An apron fits a lot better over a sweatshirt. But I don’t like the shirt at the bottom to bunch my skirt up. I like for them to lay flat and loose. So I take my scissors and cut the ribbing off the bottom of the sweatshirt. Also I like to wear the shirt sleeves rolled up? So I cut the ribbing off the sleeves, too. Then I roll them up. It makes the shirt look a lot more feminine and it’s more comfortable with an apron. Usually, you can find cute sweatshirts at the second hand store.

Mz Violet, I know you would hem the bottom of the shirt and the sleeves. But you don’t have to, as the material doesn’t unravel. But to hem the bottom would be good practice for some of you ladies to learn how to hem. Just take a needle and thread and sew the bottom edge up. Turn it under twice. If you don’t know how, just ask someone around 40 years old. A package of needles and thread is only about a buck at the Dollar Store. Now see, Mz Violet, I taught my girls and boys to sew and embroider, etc. But a lot of women were never taught this. And some have no idea even how to iron a pillowslip. They have never held an iron in their hands. If a button falls off, they throw the shirt away. So I try to encourage them to do some simple sewing projects. And keep writing on the art of ironing, as we love it.

Another way to make an apron is this. Just go to the Salvation Army and get a cute prairie skirt that you like and cut the back out of it. Cut it on the seams so the seams are already there. And get a cute tie to tie it with and you have an apron.

In the 70s, the housewives used to make jeans skirts. You had one Jill, remember? But you would take an over-sized pair of jeans — maybe some of your husband’s old jeans — anyway, you cut the seams out of the inside part, so it all lays flat. So there isn’t any legs. Anyway, you can sew a panel in there and you have a skirt. Also if you have bib overalls that the top is good but the bottom is full of holes? Just cut the bib part off the jeans and sew a skirt at the bottom. I have a dress like that and I love it.

And you can make a lot of cute things with bandannas. Just hand sew them together and make a tablecloth and use the bandannas for cloth napkins to go with it. Practice sewing buttons on by sewing some cute ones on the napkins.

The 70s Hippy Housewives

Well, the children will soon be here so I should wrap this writing up.

But I learned most of my housewifery in the 70s and, oh, that was a bang up good time. We were sorta rebelling against the stuffy 50s uptight materialism goin’ on in that era. So we became free spirits of the Hippy 70s. It was the Jesus revolution and some of us were Jesus Freaks. Flower children who were nothing if they were not free thinkers. And all of these ideas came into our homemaking.

My own mother could have killed me for the way I did my curtains. Well, come to think of it, she still could kill me for not measuring my curtains. “If I buy you new curtains, will you put ’em up right?” she told me just about a week ago. Well, heck, the Hippies just put anything up for curtains. A dish towel or a flowered old fashioned tablecloth. They were back to the landers who decorated with canning jars. I hated Tupperware then and I still do and I put everything in glass jars.

Tony, Jill’s son, is 32 and loved his childhood days when his mom was a Hippy Housewife. He remembers her hanging clothes on the line and she wore her long flowered skirts. He says he won’t marry a girl until he finds a girl like his mom was. Tony would pray for his mom in later years to get her long hair back and be like a hippy again.

There was a real godliness about those housewives in that era. Many wore the long skirts and the bandannas on their heads. Actually, they are in style now, too. Christian Joy tells me the 70s style is in! In NYC, you can’t hardly find any 70s things in the second hand stores, as they are all taken. When Chrissy was here, she bought up a lot of Hippy things here to take back to friends. Chrissy loved the Hippy way I dressed, too, when she was growing up. We always go to the Salvation Army when she comes to town. The daughter in laws, too, will go with us. And Chrissy said the last time we went, “Mom, I love you in the long skirts and boots and shawl around your shoulders.”

Of course, about anything goes, as far as style, now days. So you may as well wear what ya like. Folks who need a certain label on their clothes to feel important, I think, are pretty shallow in their thinking. Some of my kids have to have a label but they get good and laughed at by Dan and Chrissy.

Well, I better hit the road — the children are coming.



Dear Mothers,

I felt so desperate yesterday. Thanks for all of the prayers.

I am wanting to cut loose on the teachings on wisdom. One thing I was thinking of, as I was meditating on wisdom, is this. When I went out to Dixie’s and then came home, I could hold that imparting of wisdom from the wisdom in Dixie for about three days. She had a gift of wisdom and even the crumbs from under her table would be enough to hold you in your homemaking for a few days. Jill had other gifts like Dixie’s. But I don’t know if I was just spiritually inept in this area? I dunno. But Jill and Dixie would go more by the Holy Spirit’s voice, but I had to have words out of the Bible for everything. Turns out they were right. But I had to have the scriptures to back everything up. Why? I guess because I was to become a writer, a wordsmith. Dixie used to give me a pad of paper and say, “This is for you. You are a writer.” Jill even said the other day, as we were praying for Jane, “Connie, I always pray in tongues and you pray in words.”

But this gift Dixie had was more then just a desire to do housework. After being with her, I would come home and do something like go straight to the fridge and clean it out. I mean it was a spirit that came on ya that all you wanted to do is take care of the children, cook, clean, and adore your husband. It was not a normal desire. Other gifts would accompany it like a gift of inventions or knowledge. Like the spirit of wisdom taught Dixie to dress out a chicken when she hadn’t done it before. It was the difference in homemaking, like an artist that could paint a picture as opposed to one who could just draw a straight line.

This wisdom I am writing about, out of Proverbs, is a wisdom that was like a sport. I would get this wisdom on me as I would go out to plant herbs or gather them. It was like playing with a puppy or doing something so fun you couldn’t stop. You get lost in time as you are caught up in the Holy Spirit as the gift of wisdom is in operation. I went out to Dixie’s once and the kitchen looked red. She had tomatoes stacked almost to the ceiling as she was canning. And almost every one of those tomatoes was perfect and the same size and color. Jill had a perfect garden. I am talkin’ perfect. It looked like she had a name for every vegetable. Even though her children were young. Even though her husband had deserted her. These women were unbelievable.

But I would tell Dixie that I needed the wisdom and she would say, “Oh, Connie, you have it.” But I didn’t have it and I am still looking for it. I mean, like I said before, Dixie was about 135 pounds of wisdom and I got about 30 pounds of it. But she got this imparting of wisdom in about two weeks and I have been lookin’ for it for about twenty-one years. But Dixie gave up everything to find it. No phone, TV or anything like that. She had a radio that she listened to after supper.

But with every blessing, there is a monster there to destroy it, like I said in my last writing. Dixie’s husband, I must say, finally won out on that deal. He was an unbeliever and finally managed to destroy Dixie with his ways. She finally became discouraged and gave up a lot. Still, she fought the good fight and died knowing more of the wisdom of God than I ever got in twenty-one years. And no tellin’ if I will keep it to the end, either.

Dixie lived in the word — not especially Proverbs, like I go by. But a lot of what she said and did was out of Proverbs. Dixie’s dream, of course, was to always go deeper into the wisdom and buy her own land. But then cancer came along. Boy, did she fight that. But eventually the hospital killed her with a medical procedure that they goofed up on. They wrote Em, her daughter, a letter and told her that Dixie never died of cancer. But that they were giving her an antibiotic and a blood transfusion at the same time and this put her into an a coma and she died.

I mean you can have faith but not have a gift of it. You can be wise but not have a gift of wisdom. Wisdom has other gifts that accompany it. Wisdom is instinct in animals. It teaches the birds to fly south for the winter. It teaches a mother to nurse her baby. We are to learn wisdom from the ants. (Proverbs 6:6)

“With Wisdom a house is built” — this means spiritual and natural. Every wise woman builds her house, meaning she is wise and to prove it, she builds a house. If she is wise, she is good at what pertains to the home. She is a good mother and wife and homekeeper. Usually, a woman who loves her husband is wise in her homemaking and is a good mother. Because she is wise. Wisdom always has to do with building a home. Like Solomon built the temple with wisdom.

The strange woman is so talked about and rebuked in Proverbs because she is the opposite of wisdom. She is strange. Her feet abide not in her own home. She is an adulterer. She is feminism. She is a strange spirit. And as Solomon was taken down because of his many strange wives, the wisdom of God is choked out of us through the strange woman of Proverbs. “Strange” meaning she is not God’s daughter. This woman directly or indirectly comes at the wise woman and seeks to destroy her spirit of wisdom. She is the harlot of Revelations that drinks the blood of the saints. She is after our lives! Like my Mary who has become a harlot. She breaks my heart and nearly kills me. But this is the spirit that will take you down, either as adultery in your home, or an outside influence, one way or the other.

If we plan on getting the wisdom of God and keeping it, we need to stay away from adultery. Because this is the main spirit that will take the life of God out of you and your home. The wisdom of God will save your home. Or the spirit of adultery will destroy it. The foolish woman is foolish to begin with and this is why she runs out of the house to get a job when she doesn’t have to.

There is also much wealth in wisdom. Spiritual wealth and physical wealth. The wise woman’s price is far above rubies. And also we will attain wealth through wisdom as Solomon did. Wisdom also brings health and happiness. Happy is the woman who trusts in the Lord. Also it brings long life that satisfies.

Proverbs says to call wisdom our sister and understanding our kinswoman. Wisdom is to live with us daily and we are to train our minds to hear her, as she is a woman’s voice, as I wrote about it yesterday in the first part, as spoken of in the first 8 chapters of Proverbs. Our problem is that we have a voice in our heads, most of the time, from the world that is the voice of feminism. We have to renew our minds with the voice of wisdom in Proverbs.

Adultery is like idolatry and it causes a woman to chase other gods. She wants her husband and other men, too.

The gift of wisdom doesn’t depend upon having a husband. As in Proverbs 6:6, the ants have wisdom without any overseer. It’s good to have a husband so that he can protect you as you play out wisdom in the home. But if you don’t have wisdom, it’s not your husband’s fault unless he is in adultery, and the strange woman is coming in the home through husband. Wisdom is stronger than adultery — way far stronger, as greater is He who is in us than he who is in the world. Strange women took the wisest man who ever lived down.

But like Dixie always told me, “Connie, the wisdom of God is a secret.” And I would say, ya gotta dig for it. Ya gotta seek it as gold. It is your life. Seek it in Proverbs and learn to hear the voice of wisdom. Exalt her and she will preserve you.

Well, this writing is, um — well, moving right along. I had to stop and make lunch.

So, anyway, wisdom is a foundation. We build our homes spiritually and physically as Nehemiah built back up the walls of Jerusalem.

We will always have the woman in the strange land, foreign to God and His word, she will taunt us and try to kill us. But we fight her off with the Word of God concerning the virtuous woman. And we as wives and mothers fight to keep adultery out of our family. If a family member is in adultery, then we must deal with it. Not deny it as it will bring more deception. Ezekiel 3 says that we are to tell the truth about it so that the blood won’t be on our hands. And that we will save our own lives. Adultery will kill you spiritually, as you are worshiping another God. It will send you to hell. (I dare say, too, that there is a woman on this group, a Christian, who is in adultery. I can feel it.) But, anyway, yes, we need to deal with adultery in our families as Mothers and Wives. There is hope in this, and it can be worked out. We are to tell the truth about it and pray for the person. And the Lord will heal them and they will go and sin no more. But no one commits adultery because someone made them do it. It is a spirit and the innocent mate didn’t give it to the adulterer. But the guilty one will try to accuse the innocent.

Adultery comes as folks get into the world and begin to chase other gods. I think fornication is different if it doesn’t include married people. But a lot of Christian women divorce as they have chosen a new god. One that isn’t in the Bible. One like what Joyce portrays and not the truth of the Keepers at Home.

Many Church women get away with multiple marriages and divorces. And no one skips a beat. But when the old harlot gets sick or needs a miracle, God will wonder who she is and why she expects to be healed. Like Aunt Toot says, “Pay day comes.” A lot of harlots can get a miracle by going to church as the truly Christian women will pray for them. Of course, then the blood of the harlot is on the Christian woman. The Bible says not to fellowship with unbelievers. The wise woman will not have fellowship with darkness. But she will reprove it. She will call it out in order to give the harlot over to Satan that her flesh would be burned and her spirit will be saved.

But, no, you wives don’t need to tell an adulterous husband off. It isn’t your place. But the truth within you will begin to work on its own. God’s word works. As you know the truth, you will be set free and your husband will eventually be set free, also. But if you stand in guilt as the innocent party, then you will be feeding this demon and it will continue to try to kill you and slowly destroy you.

Truth and wisdom has to build the home. We are building temples of righteousness as women of wisdom. And, yes, we love the sinner but we can’t be stupid enough to ignore the sin. The sin will take down the whole house for generations to come. We don’t have to try to stop that wild bull of adultery. We let the truth do that as we are covenant keepers and we hold the TRUTH in our hearts. And the Truth is what will bring our families into God’s holy order.


Stand up and Fight

This is gonna be a message and a half. So get ready. The backdrop of this writing is something I have wanted to write on for a while. And Jill wrote back about Dixie, as I had written about Dixie and I asked Jill if she had anything to write and she did. I don’t know if it went to the letters group or not. I hope it did. In her writing, she told of the good works Dixie did and so did I. And in Jill’s writing she talked about how I had loved Dixie so much but it was all so obvious that she never said Dixie loved me.

Dixie was very anointed of God as a wife and homemaker. She had actually seen the spirit of wisdom. She was the most spiritual woman I have ever known. But I had been out to see Dixie with Jill and she would hardly talk to me or almost ignore me. She would get Jill a cup of coffee and almost not get me one. Now this is actually very hard to explain. Sometimes if I came to see Dixie without Jill, she wouldn’t answer the door. Jill will tell you Dixie almost hated me. I mean not all the time but a lot of the time. I wouldn’t have put up with that from anyone else. But ya know Dixie had such an anointing from God on her that I wanted to come to her house under any circumstances. She would tell me that I was a feminist and she would rebuke the devil from me. Oh yeah, I would be insulted for a while. But I loved God so much and I found this anointing nowhere but with Dixie and I had to have what she had. And I bugged her to the point that she would give me what I wanted, just to get rid of me for a while?

And somehow I sensed when she was about to leave the farm and I went out to see her. No license and on a dark road with no street lights. I barely drove the car except to the store. But my heart ached for the anointing. And I went out to her house just days before she left there. Still she didn’t admit defeat. But she took a picture off the wall of her farm and she showed it to me. And she prayed the anointing upon me from that farm area. Dixie, in a way, had forsaken her anointing at that point. And she gave it to me. And God knows I am trying to give it to you all.

Dixie used to tell me, as she was put out with me, “You are after my oil and you won’t get it.” Meaning I was after the Holy Spirit within her. I didn’t see it as that, but maybe it was so. But if it had been legal, Dixie would have shot me with a gun.

Many people didn’t know Dixie was anointed. Jill did and I did. I would tell Dixie that she had a message — a message that the world was dying for. She would wave me on with her hand. “Oh, Connie, those women in the world don’t want this teaching on homemaking.” But, oh, you all did and do, and I need it, too, still as an old woman. Dixie lived the life, as Jill said in her writing, and I was the writer. Dixie used to look down at the floor and say, “Connie, you have a lot of faith … more then most people.” But it seemed she hated me for it in the end. I fought her as Jacob fought the angel for the blessing. Her anointing in wisdom and as keeper at home was an anointing that you will rarely hear about. Jill and I were eye witnesses of an anointing that could change our nation. If we can only pipe it to ya.

As I think of Jill as I write, I laugh out loud. As I wrote just now about Dixie, I cried, but now Jill is a piece of work and I laugh when I think of her. Jill is anointed, too. She told me a few days ago about sending a card to this young man in jail. He is a young man that everyone has given up on. Anyone who is thought of as a total loser, Jill will send them a card and pray for ’em. She won’t talk to them. God forbid! But I am tellin’ you what, Jill is someone who is out of this world as far as faith goes. If she and I agree on something in prayer, it’s done. Pray that she will write more on here. You all would be so blessed. Her gifts in homemaking are absolutely a treasure that should be told.

The Anointing

And ya know, I wrote Part 1 to try to explain to you that just because you want an anointing don’t mean you will get it. You have to fight the world and the flesh for it. You have to desire God above your hurt feelings.

Some of you with unsaved husbands who try to beat an anointing out of you — don’t go for it. Don’t be led about by a bad husband. Don’t throw out your anointing because your husband came in drunk. Or he said he didn’t like you or your life as a homemaker. Desire the anointing of God above your marriage.

Protect your anointing by your marriage. Don’t give up your covering of marriage in order to get back at your husband. You are playing a cat and mouse game that you will never win. Don’t give up an anointing of God because you want to make this sorry sucker pay for what he did. Fight an angel and get a broken hip. But don’t give up your anointing.

See, the woman with the PLAGUE (Mark 5:29) grabbed the hem of Christ’s garment. The world had put a plague upon this woman. It was in her female organs. And what did she need to be healed? She pulled virtue out of Jesus’ garment. She pulled the power of the virtuous woman out of Jesus. And of all the folks pulling on Him, He felt the virtue go out of Him when she pulled it out. She wrestled the crowd to get to Him. Her very presence was against the law as she was bleeding and wasn’t supposed to be out in public. But she had to go — she had to go to save her own life. She wrestled the crowd to grab the lifesaving anointing. She was afraid but the anointing of God was the greater emotion. She knew Jesus was the man who could heal her. Folks probably pushed her and called her names but she didn’t care — she had to have the anointing.

The same with Solomon. He wanted the anointing or the wisdom to lead his people. And he wanted it above his reputation. He wanted it above riches or the revenge of his enemies. And God rewarded him with wisdom.

The fear of God is the beginning of wisdom. But you must run the race and take with violence the anointing. And when you get it, it is the pearl of great price. But it slips easily out of your hands. If you become offended, you will lose it. Also, if you lose it, you won’t get it back. If you out and out forsake it. I don’t care how much you want it back, I don’t think you can get it. I mean this is just my observation. I am sure Solomon wanted it back after he lost it. But he never got it … I don’t think, anyway. See, this is why God doesn’t sometimes give us an anointing. Because if we are young spiritually, we may give it up too easily and never have a chance to get it back.

And I think God knew that Dixie had given it up and he gave it to me to see what I would do with it. Time will only tell what I will do. The question of many around me is, “What is Connie gonna do?” I have Jill tellin’ me she will break my legs if I go against God. I tell folks that I am stayin’ right here at the house until Jesus comes to get me. And the people of the world say, “Well, ya never know.” And I say, “Well, I will just do what Jesus tells me to do.” But I am tellin’ you one thing, I am protecting the anointing on me at all costs. I am a covenant box and the covenant is safe at this point in me. But will I make it for the long haul? I don’t know. I am depending on Him.

If anyone could break me, it would be Mary Elisabeth who I raised at my knee. If she doesn’t break me, nothing will. But so far, the devil is putting much pressure on me to give up and declare that being a godly mother is worth nothing. My flesh screams out that all is lost. But the anointing in me cries out, “Don’t give up — help is coming.”

We are tested and tried. But, oh, that anointing of peace that I feel is so precious. The works of righteousness brings peace and rest. “Oh, dear Jesus, anoint the daughters of Zion with an oil of Joy. Let our faces shine with the oil of Your anointing.”


I dare say I have never written much of anything. If you were me, you would know what I mean. It is not a false modesty that I am tryin’ to display. The only writings I ever wrote that even begin to touch on the reality I want to write about are the writings on Wisdom. The writings out of Proverbs 1-8 are the important writings … as far as I feel it, anyway. Because the other, you can get from Debbie Pearl or some of the other writers. But what I haven’t seen out there is the wisdom writings. Those are hard to write as they are so out there. They set ya free but you ain’t sure how? But most of my writings are things I have learned on my knees and the wisdom writings are the writings I have to dig for in a different place. I have had a vision of myself laying face down by Dixie’s old garden and sucking the wisdom out of the earth. As I swallowed it, and it was sweet in my soul, it came out my pen as a ready writer.

“Lord Jesus, please anoint our heads with oil and make our hair wet with thine anointing. Let us as Mothers and Wives see signs and wonders in our families. Let our homes be built upon a hill full of shining windows. Oh, God, as Satan desires to sift us as wheat, let us arise unto living lights that glow in the darkness.”

OK, I have written about Spiritual Housewifery but it was choppy and wordy at best. It’s hard to explain, I guess. Dixie was 135 pounds of wisdom and I only got about 30 pounds of that. I am a poor excuse.

But in Proverbs chapters 1-8, it speaks of Wisdom having a voice that you can hear. So it’s like you can hear the Holy Spirit. And there is a male and female wisdom. But what I want to write on is the female part of wisdom. She has a voice. Chapter 1:20 says Wisdom crieth without. She utters her voice in the street. Verse 21 says she cries out in the chief places and in the gates of the city. Verse 23 says as Wisdom speaks “Turn you at my reproof. Behold I will pour out my spirit unto you. I will make known my words to you.” She speaks as a mother to us and we can hear her with the ears of our spirits. Our spirit has ears but, so often, many of us only hear Jezebel’s voice such as, “Make something of your life — get a job” or “I want a divorce.” But what does the virtuous woman of Wisdom say to us?

Also it is to her son so I will pick out the parts where she speaks to women. I mean all of it is for us. Just please read it. But one place, Chapter 2 verse 16, says that wisdom will deliver us from the spirit of Jez or the strange woman. Verse 17, the strange woman forsakes the guide of her youth and forgets the covenant of her God. This is speaking of a woman who knew the Lord. The Christian whore who knew the covenant and forsook it. Her house is the house of death. So this means not to have anything to do with a whore or a church that doesn’t teach on Titus 2.

Proverbs 2:13- Happy is the man (woman) who finds wisdom. 14 says that wisdom is better than money and worth more. And I am here to tell you, this is true. 15- Wisdom is more precious then rubies. Her ways are ways of pleasantness and all her paths are peace.

18- She is a tree of life. “Happy is the one who can retain her.” Yes, to retain her is important. To retain her until you see His glory. It don’t count if ya give up. You young women are being trained now to be virtuous Titus 2 Mothers.

19- “The Lord founded the earth with wisdom.” Wisdom is our foundation. The wise man (woman) builds their house upon the rock. Proverbs 14:1 says EVERY wise woman builds her house and the foolish tear it down.

Chapter 4:5- Get wisdom. Get understanding. 6- Forsake her not and she shall preserve thee. Love her and she shall keep thee. 7- Wisdom is the principal thing. 8- Exalt her and she shall promote you. She will bring you to honor when you embrace her.

I want to keep writing on this but I want to say that the Proverbs 31 woman is the picture of Proverbs.

Jill’s Visit

Dear Mothers,

Jill R. on the letters group came to visit yesterday. I loved our visit. What fun! The whole thing was a riot. Before Jill got here, I had to walk Olivia, age 4, to preschool. When I got home I had to go to the store. My house was a mess but I had to go to the store before Olivia got out of preschool. Anyway, when I got home, I ate lunch and had to rest. I was so tired. As I laid on my couch to rest, I could hear cars outside and I thought, “Oh, dear Jesus, my house is in shambles. Anyone who stops here will think I never do any work.” I had Baby Rose the night before until 8:30 and, oh, my carpet was needing to be vacuumed in the worst way. And then I actually hear someone come upon my porch. I froze in panic. Thank God, it was Jill and not someone I hardly knew.

Then last night, the mother of Baby Olivia, 5 weeks old, asked me to babysit this morning at 5:30 A.M. I was too tired last night to clean much and so got up at 3:00 this morning and cleaned the house and then went back to bed. Ta Da!

But, anyway, Jill and I had a great visit. I bore my heart to Jill about Mary and she said what she always says, “Oh, Connie, it isn’t anything. She will be alright.” Jill really encouraged me. I value her words. She had raised Tony, her son now 32, very close to the hearth, too, as I did Mary. And she said he fell away, too, but came back on his own and to his mother’s teachings. Not because Jill said so. But he made that choice and it was his own decision to believe her teachings. Does that make sense? But now he believes right. The Lord has protected him and kept him. And I pray the Lord is keeping Mary. And, like Jill and I both said, “We wouldn’t have chosen the life we lived, not in a million years.” But our husbands deserted us and we just responded the way God led us. And He really kept us both. And He will keep our children.

Jill looked out my side screen door that I write so much about. I said, “Doesn’t it look so old-fashioned out there?” And Jill said that what makes it so pretty is looking through the screen at the yard. This door is very old and painted black. And I have dried flowers in it. But I thought about what she said about the yard looking old-fashioned through the screen. I thought of the lady preachers I write about and how we have to look at them through the eyes of feminism. Or through a door that is worldly and not pretty with dried flowers in the old screen.

Jill brought me Country Mother presents as she always does. She brought me a sack of the most beautiful rosy red apples from off of her tree. (Jill, did you spray your apple tree?) Those apples have nary a mark on them and they were big, too. Mine from my tree are a lot smaller. I had prayed for tomatoes yesterday morning and Jill brought me some, along with some lovely long, narrow eggplant. (Do I slice that lengthwise, Jill, and fry it?) I have my own tomatoes and have used up the first crop of them and now I have a lot of green ones. But the ones Jill brought will tide me over. Thanks, Jill. Oh, and a big red pepper.

Also Jill made a lovely jar of pickled vegetables. Zucchini is sliced pencil thin at the bottom of the jar and then small tomatoes at the top. Herbs, too. Also she gave me a cute old-fashioned bottle of sage vinegar that she made. In the apple bag was a pumpkin candle — my favorite! Also she gave me some cake and a dozen of her chickens’ eggs. Oh, they are lovely and light brown. She opened the box and showed me that she left one egg dirty so that I would get a farm feeling about the whole thing. Only she and I understand that one. We both love the country things. And what is cute is that she puts old-fashioned country stickers on the brown paper bag of apples.

Jill brought soda pop and I got out the potato chips, as this is traditional. I also got out some of the cordial for her to try. Every time I get this out she says, “Now how do you make this?”

Country Mothers

But ya know back in the old days, Jill and Dixie and I would get together to pray. Heck, none of us had a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of. Just kidding, but I am saying we were poor ya know? We were each raising a family.

Jill lived in an apartment but her backyard was big and she planted trees and a huge garden. She canned and harvested food all winter.

Dixie had a small farm and, oh, she had two canners going each day in the summer. She had grapes and made grape jam and she tried to peel every apple on her big apple tree. She made pie filling for winter apple pies. She froze them in a bag with flour, sugar and spices. Often she gave me a few bags. When Dixie’s apple tree got cut down by the landlord, Dixie was broken hearted. Dixie had a huge garden, too. Her root cellar was a sight to behold with all of the jars of corn and green beans and tomatoes. Many jars of pickles, both dill and sweet bread and butter pickles. When Jill and I would come, she would dig out the soda pop she had hid from Emily. Dixie was sure to let us know that she never touched the stuff. To her, it was a strong drink. She was a mighty woman of God. (Jill write something about Dixie if the Lord leads you.)

I think knowing her as I did and knowing how powerful she was in Jesus? Well, she just taught me the discerning of spirits by her life. And Jill does, too.

These women are mighty for God and are the best homemakers you could imagine. I have to tell you the truth. I am never deceived by lady preachers. I like some of what they say. But ya know most of us have never seen powerful homemakers for God. I mean if you know the wisdom of God as explained in Proverbs 1-8, then you can make it in your family. I mean us girls had almost no money to deal with to buy groceries. But our families never went hungry.

And all three of us grew the big sunflowers to feed the birds. Jill still grows the most huge heads of sunflowers that I have ever seen. You can take those heads and nail them to the tree for the birds for the winter. I mean just leave the seeds in them. We all love birds.

But ya know when we girls would get together, we would just say things like “I am not afraid to go without. I can make what I need. God will help me.” Dixie would look at us with eyes of discernment and say, “Connie, do you need potatoes?” And I would say, “No, I am OK. I am not going to take your potatoes.” And Dixie would say, “Quit embarrassing me.” Then she would start sacking stuff up out of her own cupboards for me and Jill. Dixie was a giver as Jill is, too. Jill would give you her last 2 bucks in a heartbeat if she thought you needed it. But I am trying to show you Jill and Dixie and how they have lived as homemakers in the power and the anointing of the Holy Spirit.

Yesterday when Jill first came in the door, she was telling me some meals she had made out of her garden. One was that she cooked a cut up chicken breast and put it in a huge skillet with a bit of oil. Then she cut up loads of her garden produce and heaped the skillet with veggies. Probably zucchini, onions, eggplant, tomatoes, peppers, etc. — probably herbs, too. Her husband said it was a meal fit for a king.

Baby is crying. I will have to go.


What Makes ’em Tick?

This morning I was watching TV and waiting for Olivia J., age 4, to get here. Anyway, I like to watch Gloria Copeland every once in a while. I just watch these lady preachers to try to see what makes ’em tick. As I watched Gloria, I thought, “Ya know I like her style in a lot of ways.” She kinda has a West Texas kick in the pants way about her. And I mean she does have a message, it seems. But I just laughed out loud at one point and prayed out loud. “Now, Lord, if Gloria would just adjust her motor, she could be so much more powerful and do so much more good than she does now. If she would just exalt the teaching on Keepers at Home and wifely submission, and the virtuous woman, man, she would be a knockout.” I mean she could still say what she says now but she would be aiming it at the woman of obedience, the Homemaker. I know she would be helping her own daughters a lot, and her grandchildren.

I do believe that in about 5 or 6 years, many of these lady preachers will bow their knees to the teachings of keepers at home. I mean if they are to last at all. Homeschooling came out of the grassroots of the radical Christians. It never came out of the church. The church finally got it, though, and thank the Lord. But this teaching on Keepers at Home is a new message. It is God breathed. Oh, I know the old time Mothers believed it, of course. But there is a new awakening of it now.

Feminism has proved itself and any thinking Christian Mother knows it is a farce. This is a farce along with “Give 10 bucks to God and He will give you a hundred bucks.” That has proved itself over the years to be a false teaching. Yes, we give of course! But a housewife gives out of the work of her own hands, not her husband’s hands, his money. I give my writing to the Lord. I give a lot out of my own life as a homemaker. There is profit in all labor. But had the deal worked of 10 bucks to get a hundred, we would all be rich by now. None of us would have to work or do anything but give money out of the money God gave us out of the money we gave Him.

And right now, it seems lady preachers are as common as weeds. And they will have their day, bear fruits of evil, and then be spiritually hung as witches. Just like the public school system has been hung out to dry. And just as abortion has been proved to be murder, as we now can see the baby from all sides through advances in ultrasound. God is patient and waits for evil to have its day and then shows us the truth. If we won’t accept the truth, just ’cause “He said so,” then judgment comes.

And ya know I have decided to really pray for the lady preachers. They could do so much good and our country needs them to do good. They have a lot of faith. If they could just adjust it. Their pride actually keeps them out of the blessings of God. They are so overwhelmed with all the money coming in and all the crowds screaming a worship to the God of Christian feminism. Satan has told them that if they will fall down and worship him that the whole world will be theirs and they did and it has.

But the true woman of God will come out of the secret place in God with a spirit of humility and true worship. You couldn’t give the true woman of God all of the gold in California. That is not her true treasure. In fact, God will test a true woman of God with having everyone run away from her and not like what she says. But will she just go on because she wants to serve God in truth?

Mother Has Left the House

Ya know as we look at our nation, we see child abuse and abortion. We hear of teachers having sex with their students. We hear of incest. Man, I have never been molested, thank the Lord. But some of the ladies in their 30s tell me this is pretty common stuff. Usually it comes to the daughters through Mom’s live-in boyfriend or a stepdad. One lady told me that it was common for the stepdad or the boyfriend to pretend he has two wives and give the teenage daughter an engagement ring. The Mother works every day as the boyfriend don’t wanna. And I could go on and on but won’t ’cause this is making me sick.

We have so much instability in our world. And from what I hear, the USA is one of the worst nations, as far as sin. And God tells me every day that with all of the instability in the world, stick with the marriage covenant. Don’t get off on who should get a divorce and remarry. Just tell everyone to stick with who they are married to. Because we will all get so confused, we will just go crazy. I mean folks are just goin’ nuts living with this one and that one. As they do, their spirits become one with this and that personality as they become one. And eventually they will go crazy. We are meant to have one personality and it is the one God has given us.

Well, anyway, I said all of this to say that if a woman really has a heart for God, she would see the problems before us and want to change them. She would see that what our nation needs is a good picture of the Mother at Home caring for the children. If a woman really loves God, then she will hear the cry of the aborted babies and teach mothers how to be Keepers at Home. She will want to teach wives to stay in the marriage for the children’s sake. She will want to teach young women who have been abandoned by their own mothers to be keepers at home.

We need women in the body of Christ who will tear at the hearts of young Mothers. We need her to be holy and righteous to prick the hearts of wives and mothers whose hearts are worldly and hard as stones. So many of you dear wives and mothers are learning to be Titus 2 Mothers as you don’t give up on your own marriages. You have been to hell and back, I know. But Christ was chosen to go to the cross as He had suffered in every way as we have. You can’t speak to crowds of hurting women unless you have been there and done that. But many of you are called as trail blazers to settle a wild country that is almost hopeless.

The wisdom of God must be taught and it comes from the inner court. From the ground of the heart of Mother, who has allowed herself to be broken ground for His sake. As her tears spill upon this barren land, the anointing comes as no other way. When you are persecuted for righteousness sake but you go on anyway, you are beating the devil to death. The sword hangs in your heart and you feel the cold steel of it. And yet you go on. This is when the blood of the martyrs is spilled. That blood mixed with tears is precious to Jesus. It moves heaven and earth. Your life is precious to Him. Don’t give up or count yourself out.

What the world calls foolishness moves the heart of God. We press on the Word of God and prayer until we knock the hell out. It’s just like if a woman starts watching soapies and keeps goin’ with it. And then she decides to have an affair and what have ya? She is pressing on evil and she will reap a reward of evil and death. But if we as Sisters of a New Revolution keep pressing on the Word of God and prayer, we will see the fruit of righteousness come forth. As we don’t give up or become weary in well doing, we will reap if we faint not. Sure, we suffer but we don’t give up. We put the cross before us and the world behind us. We are not afraid of what evil will do to us.

We won’t see a victory we haven’t fought for. And the main fight is the fight to get His anointing. He looses heaven for us.

My Darling Husband

Oh, Papa fought his way back to this house many times. He was rebellious and wrong to leave us. And once he thought it over as he hitchhiked out of town, he eventually came back. We have both fought for our family. I will never know how much he fought for us.

I was sort of a thorn in Jim’s side, I think. Ya know he used to work in restaurants. I would look at some of those waitresses and envy them as a young wife and mother. They would stand there chewin’ gum and smokin’ cigs, tryin’ to look busy. I longed to be more “everyday” as they were. I often thought that Jim would have loved me more had I been more run of the mill. I do think at times the more average wife is a better wife. She is easier to get along with, sort of. I mean if she has a good husband to start with ya know? I mean I think sometimes she makes a better help mete than the really spiritual wife as I was. I would have my head in the clouds with Jesus a lot. Well, it was just what made me tick.

I mean Jim would come home from work to about anything and I would be as calm as a cucumber. I would be real sick and not want to go to a doctor. Well, I knew Jim didn’t have health insurance. I probably helped him to have his heart attack as he worried so much about me. Well, Mary and Brandon did, too. But I probably had a share in that. Sorry to say! But I know Papa loved me, anyway. He has forgiven me now if I did make him crazy. I was always paid up in mercy and that was my insurance. And I knew that Jim would always forgive me as I had always forgiven him. What comes around goes around. Papa and me weren’t anything special to be married for almost 40 years. We were just two good forgivers. Be always quick to forgive your husband, as you never know when you as his wife will goof up. I almost burned the house down twice. Jim never condemned me once. Not ever! And the fire burned up all of his clothes and his bed. Well, our bed. Now there is a prince of a guy, huh?

The worst thing I did was tell him he wasn’t having a heart attack when he was and he died. But ya know Papa was a good man and I know even in heaven, he loves me and has forgiven me. Jim and I had a trust in each other and a peace between us. I have not grieved for Jim. I really haven’t. He told me he was dying and he prepared to die. I miss him, yes, I do. But I know where he is and that he loves us and wants his family to go on.

In my home is so much rest and peace. This was the house that Papa and me built spiritually. He will always be here with me. The Bible says that there is no marriage in heaven but we become as the angels. I feel Papa’s spirit in this house as I feel the angels. I never doubt that he is right here with me still. I am comforted by him as I always have been. I say all of this to encourage Sarah and Jen on our group who are young widows with children.

I feel my husband was as important as any great man and I plan to make my home a precious memorial to him. I try to do right and live an honest life before our kids in order to bring honor to Jim. I never want him to be forgotten or our Love Story not to be told. I loved Jim with a love everlasting. He fought for me and I fought for him. I know I was never perfect and he knew that about himself. But if we did anything right? We were right in the fact that we never gave up on each other or any of our kids. No matter what our 6 kids have done, we have walked with them through the valley of the shadows of death. Jim stuck up for Johnny, no matter what, and now I stand for Mary on earth and Jim stands for her in heaven. We are shaking heaven and earth to see her come to Christ. She is our youngest daughter, age 21.

Yes, I know I am free to remarry. But I don’t want to. Jim was my husband. The only love of my life. And I am content to just live here in the house he gave me. I want to continue to write and honor and reverence my husband’s memory.

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Happy Housewifery teaches wives and mothers how to make Godly homes and encourages them to love their husbands and children in trying and difficult circumstances.

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