I have been under much sorrow and oppression lately. It’s OK, it hasn’t hurt me a bit. I hate to tell you the problem as it would upset you. But this morning as I prayed, the devil tried to break me down. I told him that he was gonna be defeated. And that he would die now or die later. But he is gonna die. I don’t care if I get thrown into a fiery furnace. I will enjoy burning, knowing I didnt bow. I would rather burn than bow. I do not love my own life above the life of Christ within me. Satan will not make me bow and I plan to have a REVOLUTION, one way or the other, or if I have to die tryin’. My kids are grown and Jim is in heaven. I am gonna win both ways — if I go to heaven or stay here. If God keeps me on the earth, fine, but if I go to be with God, then that would be good, too. My kids aren’t little anymore and my grandchildren are well cared for.
And, ya know, my instrument of dastardly deeds, my email machine, hasn’t been workin’ that good lately. Well, yesterday, one of my best 86-year-old girlfriends gave me hers. It’s been barely used and had been under her bed for about 3 years. And her daughter told me if it didn’t work, she would buy me a brand new one. I may wear out but I don’t think my email machines ever will. And I know folks would stand in line at my door to give me a real computer. But I just don’t feel led to have one because I am concerned it would distract me. Aunt Toot says that if I got a real computer, I would be going to different sites tellin’ the homosexuals off and the feminists and that’s all I would get done doing all day long. I tell you, Aunt Toot had me laughin’ on the phone last night so hard I could barely breath. She is always imitating me and telling me that I would be tellin’ off this group and that one and callin’ them dirty sinners. The world isn’t ready for me to have a real computer. We are safe so far, anyway.
But, oh, I am a woman of such sorrow as I stand here and write. But I am also a warrior, not only in the Spirit but out of the spirit, too. My confidence is in God.
As I prayed in faith this morning, the Lord seemed to impress me that we must be confident in ourselves, too. That we will win the battles set before us. We cannot fear … not in any realm … not the Spirit or the flesh. We must be daredevils and take chances and be gamblers. And especially when we are in deep despair. And, yes, we must B.S. Yes, with a smile on our face. Some of us have a natural tendency to be better at B.S.-ing then doing anything else. I thank God I can B.S. Oh, man it comes in handy.
I was in such deep oppression before I prayed this morning. I told God that He had to deliver me or He was a liar. I often wrestle a blessing out of God like Jacob did as he wrestled with an angel. See, me and mine get into so much trouble that I need to try to start a Revolution, just to save the Hultquist hide. Forget the rest of the world. I don’t know how or why we are always in hot water. But believe me, it is scalding!
None of us have all the answers. But there is a part in the Bible — and I don’t have time to find it now — but, boy, I sure understand it. It’s where this wicked king is telling God’s people that Hezekiah is lying to them. That the Lord God cannot deliver them. That the wicked king had defeated many and he would defeat them. But Hezekiah prays and God defeats their enemies. I will look that up later and send it to ya.* But God does deliver us out of the hands of our enemies. Many are the afflictions of the righteous but He delivers them out of them all. Thank God!
And I write out of where I am at. What you see is what you get. I just figure, ya know, what have I got to lose? Christian Joy designs clothes for punk rockers in NYC. So it ain’t like I have a reputation to protect. And Shoot! I am old and that works in my favor. If I write something worth getting put in jail for, I won’t be there long, as I will die. I mean, no one can give me 25 years, as I won’t live that long, PTL.
My friend Bonni took me home to her house yesterday to see my website on her computer. Very snazzy! Thanks alot! It all looks so important and I always think no one even reads my writings. But leave it to [B in NC] to make me look like I know what the heck I am doin’. She surrounds my hen scratchin’ with a golden hen house.
And the Bible says that we overcome the devil with the blood of the lamb and with the word of our testimony. I am so glad that, as I stand here, I stand with many battles fought and won. I have a pattern in my life of horrid battles that need a miracle to get out of. And now as I stand in scalding water again, I must testify of my past victories, knowing that I will be delivered again and again by the mighty hand of Jesus. I think of how I was delivered 30 times as Jim left me as a young wife and mother. And then God healed my husband. I will tell ya what’s worth standing for. The Word of God. A covenant marriage! I am tellin’ you what. In my trials and tribulations, I have such peace as a wife and mother now. Yes, the devils howl about me. But I lived an honest life with Jim and I have so much peace concerning him. I fought for my marriage. And once God gave me peace in it, it has been a peace that will last forever.
Don’t fight any battles for the world — it ain’t worth it. Fight for what matters. It is the things of God. Don’t waste your energy on stuff that will decay away. Don’t give your life for money and fame. Fight for what matters. Only what is done for Christ will last.
I could have been out working during my marriage and saving money to live on. But I didn’t. I was at home laying up treasures in heaven. I gave my life for a good marriage and a sound home. And now in my old age, I am reaping the peace that passeth understanding. I can be confident in God. And, yes, a rat has invaded lately. But the storms can’t crush a house built upon a rock. The winds come and they beat against the house but the devil cannot blow my house down. My foundation of my covenant marriage will hold me safe and sound.
Oh, we must stand and having done all we stand therefore. Satan tries to wear us mothers out with blow after blow to our hearts. But we must not pay it any mind. We must stand steady and not give up because God will rescue us. He will care for us as long as we are fighting for what is right. Satan’s day is very short and the heavenlies are troubled. Many even of the elect will be deceived. But we must not feel sorry for the enemies of God about us. We have to just judge ourselves by the Word of God. If we fight for the Word and win, we will have the peace that passeth understanding. Standing on the Word and not letting go will produce a place for God to do His miracles.
Every day, I thank God for the home Jim paid off. I can live here for very little. Jim, who nearly destroyed me, paid for a place for me to shout faith all over the world. God caused my enemy to serve me and to serve all of you. It’s how it works, Girlfriend! When Satan comes in as a flood, the LORD raises up a STANDARD against him. It is a standard of truth that becomes a bulwark of faith. A bulwark not made with human hands but made with faith. The demon strongholds are pulled down by the praying mother and, in its place, a standard is raised up. It is a standard that is big enough to take care of Mother’s Home and also the many homes around her. Mother’s Covenant Home becomes a standard of Truth.
* (It is 2 Chronicles 32.)