Dear Mothers,

For the past few days, I have been thinkin’ about the old-time mothers.

“Your Grandmother Canaday would get out every dish in the house to make one meal,” Mom used to tell me. Well, back in the old days, the mothers didn’t have as many dishes as they do now. But Grandma did so love dishes. The Aunts, too, loved to set a pretty table. And no matter what you were eating, you would put out a full place setting. Knife, fork and spoon — even if you were only having a bowl of soup. That was just how it was all done.

When Mom and Gram and I would go to Woolworths, we always browsed around for at least an hour. There was so much to look at. As a girl, I always bought a small bottle of Blue Waltz perfume for 25 cents. It had a sweet smell. But I also bought Evening in Paris perfume? Oh my goodness! That stuff stunk like stink on stink. But we girls wore it, anyway, because that’s all we could find for 25 cents. We were about 10 or 12 years old.

If Dad was with us, he would get sick of the whole ritual of “Just Lookin’” and so he would go wait in the car. If we kids were bad, we always had to go wait in the car with Dad. Just before we left the Dime Store, Gram would find the dishes and look them over good. She often bought herself and Mom a pretty serving bowl to set on the table. “Just right for a can of peas,” she would say. These bowls were just a tad bigger than a soup bowl. Perfect for a can of vegetables or a can of peaches. I have a few of those bowls I have gotten from garage sales. But anytime I see them, I think of Gram Canaday and how she used to buy them at the Dime Store.

These old time stores were sorta like very small K-Marts. Actually, the Dollar Stores remind me of the old time Dime Stores. Except Woolworths had a place to get cold drinks up at a bar with tall stools. The stools were the kind you could twirl around on and make your mother crazy. “You kids quit spinnin’ on those stools and sit up straight and drink your soda pop.” My Mom was always tellin’ me, “Sit up straight and act like ya know something.”

Grandmother was always shakin’ her finger at me and mouthing the words “Be good.” She babysat for me and my brother in the 1950s for as long as she could stand it. Mom had gone back to work and left Gram in charge. But she was a good old gal. I think of her a lot and I have some of her dishes. I have a few of her Depression Era dishes. A pink cookie jar and a pink candy dish. Gram’s name was Fern Olive. John told me the other day that our last name meant a branch off an olive tree.

Love,
Connie

Wow, I have been prayin’ this morning — panicky with grief. And I know that I have to have an answer from Jesus. Without His touch or anointing, I won’t make it. He has the answer to everything. But my gift is writing and somehow as I write, He shows up. I am the old ox that plows the field and gets to eat the hay as I go.

“Oh Father touch us with your understanding.”

Isaiah 49:25 says that God will contend with them who have contended with our children. Such heartache is around us. The anointed Word of God is our only hope in this world. His anointing. His voice that speaks out of the wilderness. Oh, He is our Secret Garden. We are called and blood bought. The world and its voice of reason has no part in us. We must hide away to hear His voice from the wilderness.

John the Baptist stands before us in the spirit. He stands clothed in animal skins and he looks wild eyed, as he is a warrior. He lives on locusts and honey. His mother Elizabeth didn’t raise him much in the church but in the wilderness. He was set apart to preach the coming of Jesus Christ.

Oh, we daughters of God throw ourselves out into the world. We are so uncovered and Satan comes in and tries to penetrate every part of our spirits. Stinging Arrows shoot at our hearts and pierce our souls with half truths and deceptions. And we think we can hear God in the middle of Satan’s parties? We think we can flip back and forth in and out of the world. And yet Jesus Christ must be our anchor.

Ya know, back in the old days of my marriage Jim lied to me every time he opened his mouth. And ya know, I was always confused wondering what the truth was. And God told me that I should act on everything Jim told me as if it were the truth — and I did. And God delivered him of that stuff. And this is why I am so peaceful about Jim’s death. I know in the past years that I could trust him with all of my heart. Now, with so many lies and half truths about Mary, I must choose to believe her by faith and let God honor my faith.

This world is not our home. We are strangers and pilgrims here. We are in the world but not of it. We are a peculiar people zealous of good works. We as women of God want to please Him. Many of us live in our secret chambers and gardens more than a Mother with many children to care for. But our inner man is our life. The meek and quiet spirit must rule our hearts and minds.

Ya know, I think of Martin Luther King’s wife and how she carried on her husband’s dreams, long after he had died. She lived the rest of her life honoring and submitting to her husband’s memory.

I think of Laura Wilder and how she honored Pa and Ma Ingalls all of her life through her writings. Laura brought them alive to us through her writings. And because of Laura, Carolyn her Mother was able to teach millions of people what she heard from God’s still small voice in her cabin in the wilderness. Carolyn lived such a life that God had to have her published for the world to know her. Pa was such a loving father and provider. But you knew for sure who was holding that shootin’ match together. It was Carolyn. Carolyn Ingalls knew how to pivot and live from that meek and quiet spirit within her.

As I write here this morning, I am thinkin’ about Wild Man. I have his picture right in front of me. I know if he were here, he would say things like, “Connie, why are you worried about Mary Elisabeth? She and Brandon have their own lives and you have a life here.” And I know that.

Yesterday the boys came to help me with some things. I broke down and cried just for no reason. John said, “Mom, you don’t have a thing in the world to worry about.” Well, I know that. I told John that I just wished I could do a better job at what I am doin’. I want to carry this thing out as to make my kids proud of me. I want to be an example so badly, I ache all over. I just want to be found faithful. I want the Lord to say to me, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” In my deep sufferings, I want to be a light. And yet I feel I haven’t been. And I do understand that the devil would try to condemn me, no matter what I did.

Ya know, in one area of all of this, I have to say I have a peace about Jim. Yesterday Mary L called and I had been crying. I apologized that I was in such a mess as I answered the phone. MaryL said, “Well, Connie, that is OK — you miss Jim. He was your husband and best friend. He was your mate for 40 years and you miss him.” And I said, “Ya know, I don’t miss Jim. I feel His presence with me all the time.” Now talk about grace — that is it.

Ya know, Jim and I were very close. He knew me as no one else did. Jim wasn’t much at words. But when he agreed in prayer with me, then it was as good as done. We have lived in this house for 33 years. My greatest hope in this life is to continue to write out our memories. Our marriage was just so full of pounding interactions. I never did anything but deal with Jim and he dealt with me continually. I don’t even know how to explain this. He could barely go to work and leave me here. I mean, even when we were older, like in the past few years, we were always so full of interaction with each other.

Some women are better at being a wife than a mother. Usually a woman will excel in one place or another. My gift was always to be more of a wife to Jim. I loved being a mother. And being a mother is a lot easier, I think, than being a wife. But Jim needed a 24-7 wife and I was it. To me, it was like riding a wild bull all the time. Jim was all man and he just wanted me by his side, no matter what he did — well, except when he was at work. I mean the man would want me to go to the Quick Trip with him to get a pack of cigs. Just to ride along? I finally got out of that. I was continually tryin’ to explain to him that I had things to do here at home. And he knew that and continually tried to stop himself from trying to take me along to get the oil changed in the car or whatever.

Now this is all coming from a man who, in the first 12 years of our marriage, left me over 30 times. In the first 12 years, we were only together probably 4 years total — or less. I somehow couldn’t catch his eye, much less his heart. It was as though I barely existed to him. That Wild Man was like tamin’ a bucking horse. The army at 18 couldn’t hold him down. Prison couldn’t hold him down as he escaped there, too. He would never stay put. But ya know, the grace of God finally held him down.

I loved Jim and because of my covenant I made with God concerning my marriage, God used me to win Jim’s heart. And ya know, when he died, I knew he didnt want to leave me. And I know he is still with me. I don’t doubt that for a minute. Jim is in heaven with God and he sees me and we love each other as much as always.

Jim never gave me a moment’s worry about his love for me in the past 26 years, after he was saved. I don’t doubt his love right now as I stand here writing. I got healed of rejection and the fear of desertion early on in my marriage. I guess it has just carried over. Because I don’t feel the fear and loss of losing Jim. I feel peace.

All afternoon, the Lord has spoken to me about His anointing. I just thought I would write some things down.

There are several ways to get anointed or get a touch from Jesus Christ. Like when a spiritual person anoints you with oil and calls you to a special service. Christ means the anointed. So to get an anointing means that you have been touched by Christ to do a special work for Him. And I think there are degrees of anointing.

The Lord is speaking to me about an anointing that comes through suffering. I can see it in my Spirit. I see a person who loves God and they are living under God’s hand. But the Lord is trying to press them further to more power. They are under much pressure and suffering and yet the Lord pushes them to go on to yet another step, and they didn’t think they could even walk the last step. And yet the Lord pushes them on and on until their flesh is on fire and it burns hot with suffering. And then He stands back and quits pushing and asks, “Will you serve me?” And the believer says “Yes” and she walks one more step that is sure to take her life but she ends up in Glory Land. And through her tears, she receives the anointing of God. And she sees that the pushing of the Spirit was not to harm her but to push her to the Promised Land. And in this place, she understands the scripture that says, “When Satan comes in as a flood the Lord will raise up a standard against him.” And she understands that not only will her own prayer be answered but she will become a standard for many who are afflicted as she was. And not only is she delivered out of her afflictions but many others, too. Not because of her but because the trial was too much for her but she went on, anyway. And in the anyway, as she walks on steps in thin air, it is here that the anointing comes. The touch of Christ comes on her life and she is seemingly lifted up on angels’ wings and flown to the place of peace.

Ya know, I see movie stars that seem almost magical. It’s because they have an anointing. Somewhere or somehow, they had a grandmother or mother or father who was anointed of God and they prayed for this musician or actor, whatever. The parent somehow, through association or prayer, passed on the anointing to their child. But then say the child doesn’t agree with the parent and they take this touch of Christ to the world. And they make money because of the anointing of God upon them. And ya know, I see this anointing upon a lot of show people.

Some folks seem to have such common lives. But you see some folks who have, for generations, had hardship and they are some of the most anointed people. I mean some are saved and some are not. But the anointing of Christ seems to come to some in no other way then to believe God beyond the flesh and beyond the circumstances and beyond all sense and reasoning.

Some folks who are saved stay in more of a common sense comfort zone. Well, we would all stay there if we could. But some of us are faced almost all the time with circumstances that call us to die or walk out of the comfort zone. Either we walk in thin air or we don’t walk at all.

I think somehow we are here as a ministry to receive anointings. We are called to receive miracles. Called to receive miracles. Called to press out the scope of what is out there in Christendom.

Some of you are called as trail blazers. Pioneers of Faith. But first comes the burning of the flesh — the pressure to give up has to come. And I really feel the Lord has called many to this ministry but they bail out and never reach the place of the anointing. So many of you are called to this ministry. But from what I see, most won’t endure the test. But some of you with the worst of problems are the ones God is calling to miracles. Because God’s miracles won’t come in the comfort zone or through the flesh. They come as the heart is nearly crushed yet speaks.

Ya know, up in the Appalachian mountains during the Depression era, there were no doctors around. Folks were poor and spread out with no phones and miles from a town. And if someone got sick, they could have died except the Lord would give different men and women in their area gifts of healing. They had no medical books but the Bible. And they would recite scriptures over the sick. Thrush was a big problem among babies. And one man had a special gift of laying on of hands to heal thrush. Another man was especially gifted to to lay hands on folks who were badly burned. He said he could blow the fire out of the skin and he did. Another man had a gift of laying on of hands for folks who were bleeding to death. This was for animals, too. But God gave these different ones special anointings because they were so needed.

We now live in such dangerous times in our country. But ya know, God will still provide for us — not the same as usual but He will invent whatever we need. And He will give out special anointing to meet the needs of His children. And the old ways won’t work in the coming days. And thank God for the pressures upon us to be pressured out of our old places to seek the anointing. To seek Jesus and His voice. To walk in a fresh anointing — with visions clear and crisp and current. To touch His garment hem and receive virtue that flows like a rippling brook of fresh water.

We don’t know all that we need but we need all of Him. As the days grow darker, we must grow brighter with His glory.

The anointing comes to the broken and contrite heart as so many of you have. The anointing will come as the needs of our world get worse. We don’t have to fear things coming on the earth as we see the weather patterns get so much more confusing and fierce. Yes, the unbelievers will suffer but the believers will be rescued again and again with His mighty hand. We don’t know how He will do it but we just know He will.

Many of us are in tight spots now. And we can’t see an end in sight. And yet God has an answer — it’s an answer that we know not. It’s one we can’t imagine. But we will find it as we keep on walking and seemingly walk off a cliff. And as we fall, we float down into His anointing. And again we find the God of miracles. And some of us seem to live like this from one miracle to the next one.

We begin to be miracle chasers as a way of life. Because if we have days that we don’t need a miracle, we know that months are coming up when we will live on them alone. And the anointings fly about the broken and suffering saints, waiting for us to claim them and live only upon them.

Well, I never got back to the Good Morning writing. Man. Ask me if I am havin’ a hard time hangin’ onto this Revolution? Over the past few days, I have been wrung every way but loose. OH! Ain’t life fun? I think of the scriptures. No man when he warreth entangles himself or herself with the cares of this world.

I got so upset yesterday morning that I had to go back on nerve pills. And I haven’t taken those in weeks. But felt pressured right out of my skin. Not over Jim but over Mary and Brandon. They have separated and Mary won’t answer her phone when I call. She has our whole family so upset. I mean, I did talk to her a few minutes a few days ago. The boys think she will come back to herself. I hope so. I asked her to come here to live. She says, “Mother, I am an adult.” I said, “Well, I am an adult, too, and if I acted like you, you would worry too.”

Johnny at 17 did all of this idiot stuff, right when I first started homeschooling. DROVE ME CRAZY! John grew up and is with the Lord now at age 31. Thank God. Now Mary does this and right in the middle of my Revolution. Not to mention I lost my husband. The only thing left for me to lose is myself and “Come Sweet Jesus I am ready to go!” I don’t know where my moxie is. I am about B.S.ed out already. Lost my stinkin’ babysitting job and haven’t found another one. But this is my life.

Well, the boys are comin’ over this afternoon. David and Baby Rose and John and his son Romeo. They will make me laugh. I hope! John will tell me what’s new with Saucer, the blind dishwasher where he works. He gets the dishes really clean and everyone loves him. He is a big guy and announces where he is going with his heavy tub of dishes. He will yell “the right corner!” And everyone scatters because he will barge right into ya. Johnny will yell, “Get outta the way — Saucer is heading for the right corner.” Saucer can see a few shadows but can’t see well enough to know if he is about to plow into someone. All of this, I know, must make life interesting.

Dear Mothers,

Sorry I haven’t written much lately. I mean much of anything serious. Last evening, David and John came over with the grand babies. I knew Johnny would start telling funny stories, and he did. We were sitting outside in lawn chairs. I needed to laugh.

So he tells this story about when he lived in St Louis. He was working as a cook in this restaurant. He worked with this African man who had this girlfriend. She was white and John said she was absolutely huge — probably 400 pounds. Well, this man “Fred” asked John if he would give him and his girlfriend a ride home after work. John said he would but he didn’t know where the man lived. As Fred directed John, they went to the worst part of St Louis. John said, “Mom, there was this dirt road in the city, and dogs ran all over loose and garbage every place.” So John stops the car to let Fred and his honey out and Fred says he wants John to meet his Mama. So John says, “OK.” So Mama comes runnin’ out the front door, screamin’ “Fred, I told you I didn’t want you to be bringin’ anymore white fat girls home. You take that fat girl and get outta here.” Fred says slowly with a tear in his eye to his Mama, “Well, then, Mama? Just shoot me, Mama.” And she says, “I don’t have a gun.” So Fred goes in the house and gets a gun and hands it to his Mama. She took the gun and pointed it right at Fred and shot his cap off. John says she shot the material right off the button on the top of his cap. The cap just flew in the air.

John’s eyes were as big as dinner plates when he told that story. I laughed so hard, I could hardly breathe. David was sitting beside me in the lawn chair and he was laughing, too. But he is more quiet. Jimmy, our oldest son, says, “Are you sure David is one of us? He is so quiet.” But that was about the funniest story Johnny ever told.

Then John says, “Mom, did you know that you and Grandma called me about 8 times at work today?” I said, “Johnny, I didn’t know if you are at work or not.” (He has a cell phone.) He said that was OK but his manager tried to take his phone. That boy is a piece of work. Well, he ain’t a boy anymore — he is a man.

I sat with my boys last evening. Each are so handsome. I looked at David, now 25. “David, you don’t wear those earrings anymore?” He says, “Well, Mom, I haven’t worn them in 2 years.” I thought to myself, “Connie, you about died when David got earrings and a tattoo. And now you haven’t even noticed that he don’t have the earrings anymore”? So I looked at John and he don’t have them, either. Thank God. And they both are wearing decent pants. Thank the Almighty God! I guess life is worth living.

Christian and Jason are getting married in August in NYC. The good news is I don’t have to go to the wedding and it’s OK with Christian and Jason. I have seen enough punk rockers to last me a lifetime. Some of those Mohawks are a foot tall and they put black shoe polish on them to hold ‘em up. Christine (John’s wife) and David’s girlfriend and I are staying home. I think Chrissy will have something here, later on, so the family can all give her gifts.

Jimmy and I, the other day, was saying how funny it is that if you google Christian Joy, Happy Housewifery will come up. Christian loves it, too. I bet I reach more people than I think on this contraption. I guess I should be nice when I talk about punk rockers, as they are probably reading this stuff. I HOPE THEY GET SAVED! Actually, a lot of ‘em are nice kids. It’s just all that metal in their faces that kills me.

I do believe our kids who were raised for Jesus do come back to the way they were raised.I am seeing that in my kids. One thing with my kids is that they have lived with me who had an anointing. And this anointing has gone onto them. And I think they don’t know what to do with it. They have taken it to the world and the world is fascinated by it. It’s something different but not godly.

Faithful Mothers

Ya know, I know so many of you mothers who raised your children for Jesus are so disappointed as the children are now around 18 or in their early 20s. It’s hard to watch a child grow up and not live by what you taught them. Man, my heart is so scarred and bruised. I mean had I been sleepin’ around, doin’ drugs, gettin’ drunk and ignoring my kids, then I could understand it. But I mean, when ya give your life to be a good Mother, and then your child leaves the nest and goes into a life of sin? Man, ya think what else could you have done to make things right?

Early on, I gave up and didn’t even want the older kids around me. But not Papa. No, not Papa. He would not reject his children. No, he wouldn’t. He would invite them over for meals and all. It unnerved me and made me feel worse about them as I saw more tattoos and more piercings. Out of sight out of mind was my motto. But not Papa. He wouldn’t even notice the new tattoo or the new earrings. He just wanted the closeness of his children around him. I would stand in the corner silent and heartbroken. But then I would just go over to my boys and hug ‘em and kiss them. I thought, “Why should I let the devll keep me from holding my babies?”

Papa showed me how to walk with our kids through the valley of the shadows of death. It’s not been easy but I do see the value of that lesson. It’s hard to watch your dear children not do right. But we have to keep on prayin’ as Mothers and watch God work. We can’t change our kids — only God can. But they are our family and we have to help them if we can. We have to cast our mother’s heart upon the Lord and let Him do what we can’t do. And the Lord will save our children. The Lord will send angels to speak to them and to remind them of what they were taught at their mother’s knee.

Our prayers are not forgotten, ever, by the Father. It is so hard, dear Mothers, but we must trust in God, knowing that our children are in better hands then ours. The Lord is near a broken and contrite heart. He is near us and hears our prayers and He holds us in His hands. But we plant our seeds of righteousness in our children and we will come again rejoicing and bringing in much fruit. If we don’t give up, we will see His glory. Weeping lasts for the night but JOY comes in the morning. Many godly mothers’ prayers produced great men of God.

All I want in this world is that my children would know the Lord, and yet I must lay my Issacs down at the foot of the cross. As I walk with them through the valley of the shadows, I must pray that they will pass each test. It wasn’t my sin that brought us there, but it was theirs and I must go willingly to walk with them. And now with Mary, she doesn’t want me to walk with her. And so I have to leave her to herself.

We put our faith on the line and then we have to take on patience and long suffering as fruits of the Spirit. We must rest in our sufferings and know that the Lord is with us and He will answer our prayers. He is answering them now.

Love,
Connie

I just woke up and I looked out my side door here and I see Papa’s red rose bush has bloomed. What a gorgeous huge red bloom. June is the month when most of our roses come into bloom. I will go out and cut it later and put it in a vase for the table.

Yesterday, as I wrote and prayed, just on paper, the Lord gave me a teaching on prayer. It’s stuff you all know but it has a different way, I guess, of looking at it. OK, here it is.

The Lord gave me a picture of it. He said, “If a woman is praying for a pound of hamburger to feed her family and the Lord answers the prayer, how does He answer it?” God is a Spirit so He doesn’t go to the store and make the meat fly out of the store and fly down the street to the woman’s house. He is a Spirit as He isn’t here in the physical like He was when He came to the earth. So He puts thoughts in another sister’s mind to go get the hamburger and bring it to this Mother’s home who was praying for it. So He puts thoughts in His children’s minds and this is how He leads them along. But first we must touch God with our prayers to Him.

Without faith, we can’t please God. And God only responds to His own Word as this is Him talking to us. So we must pray in faith according to His Word. Just like when we talk on the phone there is certain rules to follow. We may think the phone should work without us turning it on, or pushing the “Talk” button. But just because we think it should work like that, it won’t. And you can yell at the phone all day long and curse it until you are blue in the face and it won’t go on. You can feel sorry for yourself and cry and wail but it won’t go on until you follow the rules and turn it on and push the button that says “Talk.” Well, that is how you get hooked up with God. You must push the “Faith” Button and this pleases God and He hears you.

Faith is always in the NOW. If you have faith you believe it for this minute and you see the answer in your spirit Now. And you act on the Now faith. So if you are prayin’ for hamburger, you get your fryin’ pan out and anounce “Supper!” OK, so God will speak to another sister who has an extra 3 bucks and is willing to bring it to your house. By the way, this sister is also a woman of faith and has her faith button pushed “ON” as well. But our minds are the heads of our spiritual temples.

This is my point that God works through our minds to run His world. This is just a simple way of telling you what the Bible is saying. Like the Word will say “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” How do you delight yourself in the Lord? You delight your mind and you think on Jesus and His Word that says to cast your cares upon Him. So it is your MIND that you delight. And how do you receive the desires of your heart? You receive your dreams through what? Your MIND. Often we receive through our Spirits — we feel a touch from God or an anointing. We feel a spark that sets us free. But we won’t understand this anointing unless our minds explain it to us as our minds are touched by the Spirit. Our minds have the knowledge of God and we need our minds to instruct us. Or to explain what is going on in the Spirit realm.

The Lord tells us in His Word that He will guide us and direct us and lead us. How? Through our minds. Or through Him speaking to someone else’s mind to give us a word of knowlege or wisdom. We don’t receive Jesus through our legs or our arms or our feet. We receive Him through our minds. Either He tells us to help someone or them to help us. But He is a Spirit and He deals in the unseen things.

Jesus is in heaven and on the earth, too. He can be all places all at once. This is why He went back to heaven after being on earth in the physical. He could do more as a Spirit than a physical body. He could only talk to one location at a time when He was in the physical.

So if the Bible says “Protect your heart for out of it are the issues of life,” this isn’t meaning the physical heart or a physical organ. It means protect your mind for out of it will come the words of life. Or it is talking about our memories. How, if we don’t watch what we take into our minds, then it will come out as we talk. Or our minds will lead us to do the wrong things as we have put wrong things in our minds.

We hear so much preaching on not confessing the negative. And I go for that, too. But I think it all starts in the mind. But our minds are what God speaks to when He speaks to His children. He guides the earth through our minds. Also our spirits but the mind is the organ that explains it. God in heaven probably just speaks in the Spirit to the angels. But He has to speak through our minds and our spirits. Our minds are the spiritual organ that makes things happen under the laws of God, and with “Now” faith.

If you aren’t walking out what you prayed for, then you are walking out what you didn’t pray for. So you are canceling out your own prayers. So you are praying for your wayward husband to get right with God. You pray for hours that he would come to Christ. Then your Aunt Goose calls and says, “So what is that miserable piece of hide up to today?” Then you start sayin’ “Oh, he didn’t come home until 2:00 this morning and he quit his job again and I don’t know what we will do.” Well, Darlin’ you just dug your own grave. You were right with God and you were on your faith as you prayed and now you just threw it all in a hole. As Aunt Goose keeps talkin’, she is filling your heart (MIND) with sin and unbelief. And out of it will come the issues if life.

By faith you are to see the answer and to call things that are not as they are. No, you don’t lie about it. You just act stupid when Aunt Goose is around. If she calls and says, “What is that no account bum up to today?” you say, “Gosh, I don’t know — I haven’t had a chance to ask him.” As you avoid the question over and over again, they get sick of ya, and then they leave ya alone. Let folks know that you don’t gossip. You are a woman of worth and your price is far above rubies.

OK, so you pray in faith all morning and then Aunt Goose ruins it all in a matter of 5 minutes. And you get off the phone and run in the living room and fall on your knees and tell God that He never does anything for you. And just before Aunt Goose called, you and Him had it all figured out and you were walkin’ in faith. But see how much trouble God has with us? We are to be of one mind with Him. He leads through our minds. But if you won’t keep your mind on Him, then he doesn’t have time to work.

Then there is the imaginations of our hearts or our “MINDS.” We are to cast down vain imaginations. Well, we don’t have imaginings in a physical organ. It is our minds that imagine things. Vain imaginations are images in our minds that are against God, or that make us the god instead of Jesus Christ. They are images of vanity and pride. We are to cast this stuff out of our minds, and any thoughts that are exalted above God.

In other words, we must have Minds of Christ. Minds that God can communicate with. He cannot communicate with a mind that is talking with the devil and exalting Satan. Like prayers that go like this. “You must hate me, God, as I never get blessed and you always bless my friends, etc.” This is not a prayer that is talking to God. If you went before the Queen of England, would you go in and start cryin’ and beggin’ and sayin’ how much everyone hates you? No, that wouldn’t be proper or respectful. Well, God Almighty is certainly more important than the Queen. But ya gotta talk His language to Him. You must come before Him with faith. Because He won’t let you into His will if you are in unbelief. You have to make up your mind that it’s His way or the highway. Then pray according to His Word.

And having done all to stand we must stand. We must hold in our minds the mind of Christ. Just as Moses held his arms up as the battle was being won, we must hold the mind of Christ in our minds until the battle is over. If you are in the heat of a spiritual battle for the life of a family member, don’t give up.

Hold the Word up to the devil, the promises of God. He attacks our minds and we must hold in our minds the weapons of warfare. We take on the full armor of God. The helmet of salvation to protect our minds. The breastplate of righteousness which protects our spirits. We gird our loins with truth. OK, truth isn’t held in our loins but in our minds. We must hold in our minds the truth about our loins or our wombs or reproductive organs. If we don’t have the truth on that, we won’t get anywhere as women of God. OK, then we are to shod our feet with the peace. OK, our feet only receive peace through our minds. Then the shield of faith. Faith is received through the mind and spirit. But the mind guides the spirit, and the spirit sometimes guides the mind but the mind is usually the steering wheel. OK, now we have the sword of the spirit, and this is the Word of God. This is the mind of Christ. Everything is guided and decided by God as He directs us through our holy temple the mind.

The Lord God, as Lord of all, must sit on the throne of our hearts and be our King. He must be able to use us as He decides. It is His will that all of our households would be saved. It is not His will that any should perish but all should come to the knowlege of Christ. So as you gather your weapons for battle, remember that if you are fighting for souls, this is also His will that you win. He will fight with you. He is not against you but for you. But he wants for you to be faithful to Him. And not gossip and speak against Him and His will. And you don’t owe Aunt Goose an explanation. She will get the picture after she sees your family healed, saved and delivered.

Stand up, Girlfriend, and separate from the girls and get a spine for God. Having done all to stand just stand! Stand up in your mind and hold the Word “All of my children will be taught of the Lord and great will be their peace.” Let the storms come but don’t let down — keep standing and holding up the Word of God before the devil and his demons. Hold it there, and hold it there as Moses held up his arms until the battle was over.

Satan can’t stand for long in an atmosphere of faith and the promises of God. Cast down every imagination that exalts itself above the knowledge of God. Keep casting it down and protecting your faith and the Word of God in your Mind. Protect it — fight for it and you will see His glory.

Dear Mothers,

Well, last evening John’s family came over. They are a barrel of laughs. We had so much fun! It helped me to laugh about losing my only source of income, my babysitting job. I hated losing the baby. I will do OK and it won’t be long and I will find another child to watch. But Johnny was telling me about making a giant sling shot in case I would ever have this situation again. He was telling me that we could make this GIANT sling that you would hook between the sides of the door and pull it back to your waist, then let it fly. And I could shoot rotten cantaloupe and watermelons at my enemies out the front door. Sounds good to me!

John got me to laughin’ on the phone a few days ago about what I just went through. So I started to say things, pretend things that I would say to the guy who was trying to come and kidnap the baby. Things like, “Say your prayers, you filthy animal.” Then I would shoot him with my B.B. gun. John thought I was so funny that he turned the phone to the speaker phone so that our son David, who was at John’s, could hear what I was saying. John said, “Mom, David laughed so hard, he almost had an accident.” Well, it’s either laugh or cry — do or die — right?

But, anyway, as we sat down last evening to eat our supper, I asked John to say the blessing. He said. “Lord. I am glad that Mom is OK.” And he blessed the food — then at the end of the prayer, as matter of fact as could be, he said, “I love you, Dad.” It was natural to John. It was as though he had gone to heaven with his prayer and while he was there, he saw Dad and just said, “I love you, Dad.” I sat still after the prayer and thought, “Of all of my kids, John has always stolen my heart.” John gave me more grief when he was young! And he and his family are such a blessing to me now.

Later on after supper, as we sat in the living room, John told me funny stories about where he works at the restaurant. They have a blind dishwasher that does a better job at doing the dishes than the ones who can see. If you all only knew what goes on in those restaurants you wouldn’t ever go out to eat. But John told me all about everything goin’ on where he works and I laughed myself silly.

John is a very talented comedian — it’s nice to have one in the family. But ya know, this is how I have made it through life is by laughing. I am not proud of that. But to me, it has been a necessary evil.

I know I am supposed to be sober and grave as a proper Titus 2 Mother. Better luck next time, ladies. But my friend Char told me that laughter is the highest form of faith. Well, ya know, if you can laugh when you are scared spit-less, it shows that you may have a little moxie left. And I talk big in front of my kids so they won’t think I am scared. But I don’t want my kids to be afraid that some crazed maniac is gonna get me while I babysit. And the guy never did come, anyway, but his girlfriend was afraid he would. But the girlfriend and her baby are safely hidden away now, so there is nothing to worry about.

I have enough money to live on and my kids wouldn’t let me go without. But I just want to take in a child and bless them. I need to make the money too. I am not worried, as I know the Lord has a wonderful plan.

C, a good friend of mine, came over Sunday and K was here, another precious friend. C and I got to laughing about how I won her to the Lord. C is on the letters group. So here is the story of how C got saved. If I get this wrong, C, just push reply and tell it like it is. Give ‘em Hell, Sister.

Well, anyway, this happened many years ago — maybe 1969? I was at the welfare board and was about 23 years old. Jim and I were separated. I was sitting in this waiting room reading a book called “Victory Over Circumstances.” Man, I was a new Christian and I was in my usual “boiled oil” situation. Anyway, I wanted to be left alone to study this book as I was in dire straights and needed VICTORY OVER CIRCUMSTANCES in the worst way.

So I am sitting there reading and C comes in and sits beside me. We had never met at this time. So she asks me what time it is and various other things. I thought to myself, “I hope this lady ain’t gonna bother me.” So I thought if I asked her if she was saved, she would think I was a nut and leave me alone. So I said “Are you saved?” And she says, “I think I am.” I said point blank, “Well, if you don’t know if you are saved or not, then you ain’t.” Somehow I talked to her enough to give her my phone number.

So when C got home from the welfare board that day, she went into her kitchen to pray. She says to the Lord, “Lord, if I am not saved, then show me how to be saved.” After she said that, the kitchen lit up with a Holy Light and C asked the Lord to save her. She became miraculously saved and has since won many to Christ.

If she ever introduces me to anyone as her Spiritual Mother, I have to laugh. C, if you want to give any more of your testimony, I know the ladies would love it. Just send it to Annie the moderator. I can’t get any emails from C, as my e-machine won’t pick it up.

So, anyway, I have to get about my day. I have to go grocery shopping and do some gardening.

Peggy Sue (my yellow cat) is playing the piano. She plays it with her paws and I keep trying to get a picture of her, but she hears me sneakin’ up behind her and she quits. Oh, what a laugh!

Love,
Connie

Dear Mothers,

John and his family are coming to visit this evening. I have leftover Sloppy Joe mix and so I think I will make a gravy out of this and then have mashed potatoes, and then we will put the gravy over the top. Then I will have a salad or something. I had the Sloppy Joe mixture for when Jimmy and Aleks came to show me the new baby over the weekend.

Anastasia Sophia looks like a royal princess. She is so lovely. I can tell she has quite the anointing on her. And, ladies, “Sophia” means wisdom, right? I know we talked about that on here before. But in what language is Sophia “wisdom?” I was telling Aleks this and we were wondering about it. Well, this little granddaughter has the anointing of wisdom on her. She looks like the virtuous woman would look as a baby. When this baby looks at ya, then you know you have been looked at, for sure.

Jimmy has a blog for her, I guess. I should get the address of the site. I think Jimmy’s website is on mine, right? So. Well, I don’t know how all of that goes. But if anyone figures it out, let me know. Well, I can’t see it, anyway.

But also this morning, my mom called and wants to go out for lunch uptown here, at the Maid- Rite.

I am prayin’ for a new baby to watch. I want it to be like a ministry to a child who needs me. But I don’t want to start a big operation of Daycare. I really want to leave some time and energy out for my writing. I need hours in prayer and writing. But I want to be a blessing to a child. Hopefully, to a baby who needs the peace and quiet of a private home. It is such a horrible thing to put a newborn in a Daycare. So much sickness and all are in those places. I would really love to be a blessing to someone. Plus I need an income — not much of one but I need one.

Anyway, this is just a writing of this and that, I guess. Have a good day, ladies.

Love, Connie

P.S. The update about Baby David is that his mother took off and moved to another city to escape from a supposed abusive relationship with the father of her child. I had expected to have the baby full time in June and this would have paid for all of my bills. I am not worried about finances at all as I have money saved. But I just want to have an income as I will need it in a few months. I will get Jim’s Social Security next year. Well, PTL. I ain’t gonna worry about it — the Lord will provide! Thank you, Jesus!

I will get Baby David later this morning but I have a bit of time to write. I got up early this morning and have been reading the gospels Matthew and Mark. Here are some thoughts I have had and prayed about as I read.

It is so neat how Jesus so easily healed the sick and raised the dead. But ya know, Jesus wasn’t like us. He had lived in heaven before He came to the earth. He was the Son of God. So everything He did on earth He had the backdrop of heaven. He pivoted from heaven. Heaven was more real to Him than the earth. He knew the earth was just a place that would pass away. He understood eternity. So when He saw demons, He would right away cast them out. He didn’t think “Well, God is trying to teach me something.” He just saw it all for what it was and got right on it and got rid of the problem. He didn’t pivot in His thinking from the earth or how it is run. He always looked at heaven as He made His decisions.

Heaven is a real place, ya know? It’s where Jim is and now Richard. They are happy there and healed. Thank the Lord! But the Lord’s prayer has in it. “Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” Jesus was showing us heaven by the way He acted. And by the way He brought heaven to the earth for us to see. The lame walk and the blind see. Nothing is wrong in heaven and there is no sickness or crying and sorrow. See, on earth, we as Christians have hell beneath us and heaven over us up in the sky some place. We as believers are not earthbound and someday we will go through death or, through rapture, fly up to heaven. The earth and Hell has no bondage upon us. As we receive Jesus as our Savior, we go with Him.

I don’t know if the rapture will come before the Tribulation or the other way around. Frankly, I don’t care. When Jesus comes, I am ready to go with Him. My oil is in my lamp and I am waiting with joyful anticipation for my groom to come get me. I don’t know if we will do a few errands first before we go on to heaven or if we will go straight there. Don’t make any difference to me — I am with Him now and will stay with Him. I mean if He still wants me when the time comes. But I don’t worry about the tribulation or the lack of it. I plan on Him taking me with Him whenever and however He goes.

He is now conforming me to His image. I hope after my prayer time today that I, too, will pivot from heaven in my thinking, rather than from the earth. As I plant my visions in heaven and I see an evil demon attacking someone, I hope I will just rebuke it quickly. And in so doing, I will be showing the earth His kingdom and His will to be done on earth as it is in heaven.

Oh, the Pharisees and the religious men of the day in the Bible were always worried about if Jesus and His followers followed the rules of religion. But Jesus made them mad because He didn’t live by the rules of the church or the earth rules. He lived out of heaven. In heaven, God doesn’t use heartache to teach us something. God doesn’t allow heartache and sorrow there. Everyone is healed in heaven and everyone is happy and satisfied and full of Joy and peace. Jesus doesn’t allow sorrow and crying in heaven. And on earth, He didn’t allow it either. This is why He fed the hungry and healed the sick and cast out demons.

Oh, yes, He went willingly to the cross to suffer and die for us. But He was the perfect Son of God. The lamb that was slain for OUR sins. He didn’t die for His sins of unrighteousness. He suffered for us. He paid a price for us. And as we receive, Him we start our lives even now in heaven. Eternal life begins when you ask Jesus to become your Lord and King. He is not the natural King of the earth as Satan is the prince of the power of the air on earth. But we as daughters of God bring heaven to earth as we make homes and temples in the wilderness for Jesus. We show the world heaven.

And ya know, Jesus tells us to take His yoke upon us and that His way is easy and His burden is light. You may say, “How can we have a light heart when we are in sorrow?” It comes through Jesus’ way. Jesus says this in His word because, again, He is speaking out of His heart as He has been to heaven. He knows that this life is but a vapor on earth. It is here and gone as a flower is lovely and then it dies so quickly.

This earth is not eternal — it will pass away. Heaven and Hell are eternal. Those without Christ will die and go to an eternal fire of Hell. But no one on this earth is going to stay here forever. When our bodies wear out and can’t be here anymore, then we die on earth and become alive in heaven or hell. So our eternity will last for hundreds of years. Thousands of years. Yes, our years will go on forever. And, Jen, you will live with Richard and you will recognize him and be able to embrace him. And he is healed now and can run and leap and skip and laugh.

Ya know, all of our family felt Jim’s presence after he died. I asked each of our children what Daddy had said to them. And they all said to me, individually, that Jim said, “I want you to be happy and go on with your lives.”

See, when Jesus says “Take my yoke upon you as My burden is light,” He speaks with part of Him in heaven. He sees the earth in a different scope than us. We wail at Jesus in sorrow and prayer because we only see in a glass dimly. We don’t know Heaven — we only know earth and the sorrow here. But He wants for us to read His word and understand Heaven.

Heaven is another country or another planet. We shouldn’t be giving our lives for money or fame and glory on this earth. Only what is done for Christ will last. We are to lay up our treasures in heaven. Our rewards come in heaven, not in the earth.

One time, I went to this rich lady’s house. She had it all. She showed me all of her new appliances and all. It was one showcase of material gain after the other. And I was young, about 23. Heck, I didn’t hardly have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of. But God told me, “Connie, one of these days in heaven, you will show her your showcase of jewels.” I mean this was over 30 years ago. Even now, all of her appliances are probably at the dump.

Why lay up treasures on this earth that will decay and rot away? We need to put our energy into doing good works and laying up our treasures in heaven. What kinda nonsense is there in putting a child in Daycare and running off to get a job? Why put the family jewels in the street and run for the plastic? Talk about foolish!

Jesus had discernment, as He knew Heaven where no demons could come. Lucifer and his demons were thrown out of hell for rebellion. Some of you women who refuse to submit to your husbands will have a hard time in heaven not submitting to the man Jesus Christ. He is a man, not a girl. Marriage on earth is a training school for the real marriage in Heaven. Your eternal husband will be Jesus Christ. If some of you rebellious women get to acting up in heaven, I think the Lord will throw you out like He did the rebellious angels and Lucifer. Rebellion is as witchcraft and you Jezebels will get kicked out.

I am tellin’ you what. There are some mean women out there runnin’ around on this earth. They are putting a lid on the men and on God. It is a wicked web of hell on earth. Feminism is is giving women a fuel of fire that cannot seemingly be quenched. This is making men to be like wild animals. And they will gain control as they are the stronger of the sexes. And they will make slaves out of women as they have never known. They are slaves now as they have talked their way out of raising their own children in a palace of protection to the street to make money. One of these soon days, the Fem party will be over and the Feminists will curse the day they swallowed that lie.