Thursday, October 19, 2017
 

The Imperfect Mother

Dear Mothers,

Good Morning. Didn’t ya love the writings Sandra sent in today? And when she described Susannah Wesley, didn’t that give ya courage to go on?

Susannah’s husband was in debtor’s prison a lot of the time. He wasn’t a bad man but he just couldn’t pay his debts. So Susannah was left at home alone much of the time to care for the children. She had 19 children and 10 of them died. I can’t imagine losing 10 children. I think Susannah herself was like the 24th child of her mother’s. Imagine if her Mother had been on birth control — we would have never known Susannah. But through her mother’s obedience and Susannah’s to God, she helped bring revival to England. Just by staying home and teaching her children.

Charles wrote many of the old songs we still sing in our churches today. Then John was the preacher who brought revival. Susannah was methodical in her teachings and helped start the Methodist church. But, wow, she must have had a good sound idea of what heaven was like in order to lose 10 children and still be able to get up in the morning.

That Susannah was made out of more than flesh and blood and skin and bones. She had to be living on the breath of God. Actually, she didn’t know about Salvation through the blood when she was raising her family. She knew the laws of the Bible. But then later on, her son John saw in the word of God about salvation through the blood and she herself became saved, too. But even when she knew only the laws of God, she was faithful to teach her children the truth she had.

I feel like this speaks to me. Because I did my best to raise my children for Jesus. With the truth I had, and always being a day late and a dollar short. Always on the skid like a street rat, at times b.s.-ing my way through when my moxie was long gone … not to mention my faith. But God knows my heart that all I want out of this life is to see my children all love Jesus and to live happy lives with their families. And, no, I don’t know everything like Susannah didn’t, either. But she learned as she went. And through her faithfulness to God to do what she knew to do, she made a difference in her world for His kingdom.

All we mothers are given is a day at a time. Each day we have to do what we know to do. We are human and married.

Ya know, the Bible says that a married woman cares for the things of the world and how she may please her husband. I was never as spiritual as some of my Christian sisters. I see things in my heart and can sense angels about me. But I have never seen angels in the physical, with my physical eyes. But ya know, some of us women almost live two lives. Like one of a married woman and one of a single woman who is given to prayer and spiritual things.

I lived sort of like that for the first 12 years of my marriage. I was a married woman but had no husband. But I gave myself to prayer and was used by God to win souls to Christ. I never ran around with men. I wouldn’t have done that. When Jim left me, then I submitted to him and ministered to others. But I played the part of a single woman who could give herself to prayer and witnessing. And when Jim came home, I abandoned this ministry to live only for Jim and my children.

It is hard to flip back and forth like that and I made many mistakes. But like Susannah, I learned as I went. And I pray the Lord will show me His mercy where I have made mistakes. But we all make mistakes on this road to holiness. And this is what keeps us hallow and heartsick to dwell in His presence.

His anointing can only come as we cry out with an empty heart for His Words. Some of us who have known Him for a long time live only from one touch of His hand to the next touch. We run from one anointing to the next one. And some of us are a gentle mix between that single set apart woman or widow who has given herself only to God and the married woman who has given herself only to her home.

The Imperfect Wife

And, oh, mercy! Ya know, we as Sisters of Wisdom want to get all of our rules and regulations set up and tacked down and then we go on.

I stand here today able to write because my friend Mary L prayed for me yesterday. Married and divorced and remarried. She don’t recommend it and I don’t, either. But having said that, I think some of these divorced and remarried women long so for a marriage and home, that they have something to teach some of is who have never been divorced.

I AM THE IMPERFECT WIFE. I feel like I had been divorced and remarried at times because of what I went through. So, at times, I can somehow let down my net and draw up the divorced wife and the married wife in the same haul. Having been there and done that I guess. Of course, Jim is my first and only husband and I wouldn’t recommend divorcing your mate. But Jim and I were separated many times. And then Jim got saved and we have been happily united now for 26 years. None of my number of years ever add up. Because we will have been married for 40 years at the end of this year. But we had the first few years of marriage that was somewhat peaceful. Then we had 12 years of separations. So I have become a gentle mix of 2 women. I know what it is to be abased and how to abound.

Jim now is the sweetest, most dearest man I know. His love for me and the children is so precious. Jim gives me a peace and a joy. He never pushes me to do more than I can do. I am a dreamer and writer. I need lots of time to pray and be alone with the Lord. And Jim understands this. And yet I wouldn’t ever think of not cooking for him and doing his laundry. Or being here for him to come home to with the coffee hot and a meal on the stove.

Jim loves the babies that came from my womb. My grandbabies are precious to him. We have invested many years of blood, sweat and tears into our marriage. When I lay beside my man at night, I know what is in his heart. When tragic things hit our home, I know what is in his heart and he knows what is in mine. And we work it out in silence, mainly. We don’t want to confess a negative confession over our brood. We plan on God delivering our children and making them whole and sound and in love with God.

Some of our kids are there and some are on their way there. But none will be lost to Satan. Not because Jim and I know what the heck we are doin’. But we love each other, we love our offspring. And we want to do right. And what else is there? We go from where we live and we do what we can to make things honest and right with our children and our world. And as I go along, I think of Susannah Wesley and her life. It wasn’t all perfect but God used her for His glory. I don’t think that any of her daughters were happily married. But out of her 19 children, she lost 10 and I think then she had like 7 daughters and 2 sons left. I think? Anybody know?

I had a book on John Wesley but it didn’t tell a whole lot about his mother. I am just writing from what I remember reading about her in other books. But Sandra will be sending some of Susannah’s writings and I am looking forward to reading them. Maybe, Annie, we could send these writings on to the letters group. And hopefully we can reprint them for the newsletter? You ladies on the letters group can write to me if you want to about this? Would you like the Susannah writings that Sandra will send in?

Love,
Connie

[By subscribing to Sandra’s Yahoo group Yesterday’s Wisdom you can receive quotes from writings of the past in your inbox.]

 
 
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