Good Morning Kitchen Saints,

Well, last night I made the Summer Sausage. Didn’t have the recipe I was lookin’ for, so just made one up. I kinda remember my other recipe so I just winged it. You take 5 pounds of hamburger and mix in Tender Quick Salt. That is a curing salt. But I put in 1 Tbs per pound of hamburger. (I won’t kill anyone with this, will I, Cindy? You use the curing salt, right?) After I thought about it, I thought, “Man, that is too much.” Well, I cured it for sure.

Anyway, then I added black pepper and little container of mustard seed. Garlic and paprika. So, anyway, ya mix this meat all up in a bowl with a big spoon and your hands, like meatloaf? Then you put it in a plastic bag and put it in the fridge. Then, the next day, you take it out and knead it again, as to get all the spices evenly distributed. Then the next day, you do this again, and then the third day.

Then, the fourth day, you knead it again and bake it. You shape it into 3 loaves that look like frozen bread dough. Then I put mine on a cookie sheet and bake them, like, all day. Turn the oven temp to barely above warm. Bake these, like, for 6 hours. Keep draining the grease as you go. And keep turning the meat so that you have a round sausage.

Now, get the cheapest ground beef you can get for this. Because you need the fat in it to keep the sausage moist and basted, as it has to bake all day. All of the grease will drain off of it, anyway. Just keep draining it off as you check it and turn the sausage over and over to keep it round. Now the ground deer meat would work for this recipe, too. But be sure to make it half cheap hamburger for the grease. Yesterday I got my hamburger in a big tube for 6 bucks for 5 pounds of 73 percent lean. So Jim said, “Well, there ya go — get that and make your sausage.”

Johnny, the other evening, just bragged and bragged to Christine about my Summer Sausage. I hadn’t made it in a long time so thought I would make it again.

Now, once John and Christine taste this at our house, they will run home and make it themselves. They love to cook — both of them do. They make bread now like crazy. They will make some in the bread machine and by hand to see which comes out the best. If the bread don’t come out right, then they stick it on the tree for the birds and they watch the birds eat it. They live right by a lovely park with a lot of trees and woods. So they see many different kinds of birds in their backyard. Their home is in a lovely setting. It’s just a little house. The kitchen isn’t even big enough to put a table in it. It is a bit bigger than mine — well, twice as big. But they have a festival in that kitchen, cooking and baking. They will love the Summer Sausage and will love making it.

But, yes, I put too much curing salt in this that I just made. I think like a tsp per pound is what it is to be. Not a Tbs. Well, it will be good, anyway.

I used to make this for the family at Christmas or New Years. Then I would slice it thin on a plate and put Ritz crackers on the plate, too.

You could even use half ground turkey and half ground beef.

One Christmas, when the children were still home, I made the sausage sweet. I put in the curing salt and brown sugar and ground up apples. Also cinnamon and ginger and ground cloves and nutmeg. It was good and tasted like a mincemeat. When ya have a big family, no matter what ya make, someone will eat it.

John, I know, will experiment with the sausage himself and will make it with hot peppers, onions and garlic. Sage would be good in it, too. I tried it one year, not putting in the curing salt and just letting it set in the fridge for a day. But it wasn’t good. You need the curing salt. And to bake it all day at that low of a temp, you should have curing salt in it. The curing salt keeps the meat fresh and keeps it from getting sour and spoiled.

Keep the kitchens warm and happy!

Last evening John, Christine, and Romeo came for supper. It’s funny, now that John is older, he seems so much more interested in what his folks have to say.

For supper, I fixed this fried round baloney? It looks like a long hot dog. Anyway, I just cut two long pieces up into two-inch pieces and fried them in my cast iron skillet. Then I took sauerkraut, drained it and rinsed it in water, and squeezed out the excess water. Then I put this kraut in the skillet with the meat and fried it a bit after the sausage was done. The kids really liked it.

I also had a side dish of rice. Then I had some left over mashed potatoes from a meal a few days ago. I just mixed the potatoes up with an egg and salt and pepper. And then I put this dish in the oven and baked it until it was very crisp and brown. I put butter on the top in dabs to brown the top good. Then John brought home from work a big salad. Boy, it was good.

I also had a dab of apple salad I put out, too. Then I always fix iced tea and we had hot coffee. My kids love coffee. I try to have all of the flavored creamers out that I can come up with.

Christine is tryin’ to stay warm with this Iowa weather. I shudda fixed a big pan of cornbread but didn’t get it done.

Also last night, while John’s family was here, Christian Joy called from NYC. She calls when she is walking here or there. I say, “Joy, you are walking around by yourself at night in NYC?”

She will say, “Oh, Mom, all the street lights are on. It’s not pitch dark like it is in your city.” When Joy is here visiting, she will refer to NY as the City. She thinks we live in the country. She says I would only be happy if she came back to Iowa to make corn husk dolls. Oh, that Christian Joy — she keeps me on my feet. What a little city mouse!

Papa had called her earlier in the day and left a message on her phone. “Just called to tell you we love you and are thinking of you, Baby Girl.” She is still Mama and Daddy’s Baby. John and I were talking last night about how Sissy Joy still sits on my lap when she comes home.

John talked to her a minute, as he was here, and at the end I heard him say, “I love you, too.” And, honestly, poor Tiff had barely taken a pregnancy test and the news of her pregnancy shot clear to NY within the hour. David told John and he told everyone he knew. Then David called Chrissy in NYC. John called us first. I felt sort sorry for Tiff, as she barely had the news in her heart and the world knew it. I didn’t write about it on the email as I thought the blabbermouths around here had told it too soon, anyway.

Now Christine, John’s wife, is goin’ like a mad dog to try to get pregnant. And Mary is mad and on the road, too. The only ones who aren’t tryin’ to get pregnant are the ones who are. Christian Joy has a boyfriend and will, I hope, get married soon so she can get pregnant, too.

Tiff is elated! She hugged me and almost didn’t let go and hugs everyone. I mean she is wild with JOY. Well, she sure turned out to be a wonderful mother to Baby Rose and I know she will do good with their next baby.

Oh, mercy! I am game, too, to have a baby at almost 59. Well, nothing is impossible with God, huh?

Another Funny Story

Ya know, I thought I was done with funny stories but the Lord reminded me of another one.

Well, when I first began home school, I was the only woman in town that I knew of that tried that. Most of the families I knew were on the skids, trying to move from place to place, to keep neighbors or the law from knowing them and catching them homeschooling. But we were homeschooling just 6 blocks from the school. So I felt like we were always looking over our back. Anyway, I was in fear most of the time but just kept goin’. I had a terrible fear that someone would see how dumb I was and turn me in. So I tried to be serious all the time.

Well, at about 2 years of all of this, I had Joy and John in public school, and homeschooled the younger 3. So I had to go for parent teachers meetings at the high school. Well, that Christian Joy and John have such wild senses of humor! And they told their teachers that I had been a wild motorcycle Mama. That I always wore long sleeves as I was covered in tattoos. Here I am, horrified to come to the public school, and I come to this.

Of course, the teachers could tell it was a joke and they roared with laughter and teased and teased me about it. I was still tryin’ not to cut loose and laugh, as I was trying to hold up some image that I knew what the hell I was doin’. I mean, back then, they were putting homeschoolers in jail — and at the least, they were having them do community service. Iowa was supposed to have the best schools in the nation. They were tryin’ to kill the spirit of the homeschoolers. And in the middle of all of this, I go to public school to have a belly laugh with the teachers. Well, I tried to laugh and say how cute my little darlings were to tell the school I was a Motorcycle Mama.

The funny part of it all, too, was that I was supposed to have a certified teacher to be over me and I couldn’t ever afford one. We were just out there for the boogie man to catch but somehow we never got put in jail. Then, as time went on, the homeschooling movement caught up with us and we began to look smart and ahead of our time. Whereas before, we just looked like free thinking criminals.

And God only knows what else Chrissy Joy and John told their teachers. I probably won’t know until I get to heaven. Thank God!

Joy’s teacher, that night, told me, “Ya better watch out for the girl — she is gonna run off to NYC and be an artist.” I rebuked the thought from the teacher but Joy did run to NYC. And one day, she will run back home again.

John’s teacher said to us that night, “John is not a student — he is an artist.” And Johnny is an artist, for sure, and an inventor.

And yet “All of my children are taught of the Lord and great is their peace.” Yes, even at this moment, they are being taught of the Lord.

Good Morning Dear Mothers,

Boy, it’s been cold here in Iowa, below zero. John’s wife is from Missouri and she’s freezin’.

We phoned the kids just to visit yesterday afternoon. We got ahold of John. I told John I wrote about him on the email the day before. “What did ya write, Mom?” he asked me, and I told him. He loves to joke and have fun. So, as if to give me more ammo, he starts telling me about his day at work.

John and Dan work together at a restaurant. Dan is really funny, too. John is 30 and Dan is 24. So John told me this gay guy works with them. This gay guy is real flamboyant. So John says Dan will say the obvious to him like, “Oh, come on, you have proved you’re Gay so now knock it off.” This guy acts like a cheerleader and claps his hands and giggles. Of course, Dan is so funny and God knows what he will do to this guy (girl). John will be more quiet about it and be entertained by Dan. Susie and Christine, Dan and John’s wives are part time waitresses at the same restaurant. Johnny has such a sense of humor, I know he lives to come to work.

At Jimmy’s wedding in 1998, Dan ran and jumped over the top of Christian Joy’s head. And Chrissy is at least 5 ft 10 inches. Dan is reallllly funny.

All of the boys are very animated and love to have fun. Jimmy’s wife Alecksondra is from the east coast and likes to be very sophisticated. Jimmy, our oldest son, minds his manners for the most part around Alex. Well, one year, as Jimmy and his wife pulled in the driveway for Thanksgiving, the boys tackled Jimmy as he was getting out of the car and threw him to the wet, cold grass to wrestle. Jimmy loved it and was having a good time but getting very dirty. Alex was screaming from the side of the yard, “Get up, Jim, you are a married man Get up! Get up!”

Finally, my sister-in-law comes with 4-year-old Ashely and rushes her in the house, telling her, “Those boys need some time out.” Shelly told me, “Connie, you better go get those boys — they are causing quite the scene. The neighbors will call the police.” I always try to act like all is well. About the time I got out there (I took my time) it was all over.

Of course, Jim is no help — he thinks it’s funny. But the women and children don’t know what to think. When Aunt Toot was here to visit, when David and Dan were young, the boys would wrestle in the living room. Toot would say, “Connie, don’t ya think you better stop those boys — won’t they get hurt?” Well, I was used to it and I didn’t even know they were wrestling until someone told me. Toot had 5 girls and 2 boys. I had 4 boys and 2 girls. A household of many boys is usually more rough.

One time, as the kids had gathered for the holidays, John came up behind Jim and grabbed him from the back and gave him a bear hug, lifting Jim up in the air about 2 feet. Jim had been having back problems and, after that hug from John, he was perfectly well. It worked like a miracle. That was over 5 years ago and Jim hasn’t had back problems since.

And that Dan has to prove Jim’s strength. Dan likes to act like the Marx Brothers. So he will be talking to Jim and then jump into Jim’s arms. Well, Jim is now 65. Dan forgets how old his dad is getting. So, as Jim holds Dan in his arms, I said to Dan, “Honey, Dad is getting older — you can t do that.” Dan, as he lays in Jim’s arms like a baby, says, “I was just thinking of that, Mom.” And Dan quickly had Jim put him down. Dan is about a foot taller than Jim and probably outweighs him by 30 pounds. But Jim just stood there, holding his baby boy in his arms, never screamin’ uncle.

The kids are very fun loving. And I think in these days, when life has seemed so hard, that I have to laugh and take life more easy. All of my children are taught of the Lord. He is with them and will not leave them helpless or forsaken. As a mother of many, I often worry over this kid and that one. When one kid seems ok, then I go to the next.

Our Children are His

And ya know, I used to get into the worst circumstances and would break out laughing. It would be so bad, I had to laugh. Jill would break out with me and then she would say, “Oh, we shouldn’t laugh about this.” And I think my kids just are not fearful about anything. The other day, John told me about some hard luck Dan had, and I said, “I bet Dan thinks it’s funny.”

Now things are more serious with Christian Joy and Mary Elisabeth. Chrissy is afraid to bring her new boyfriend home to meet the family. I am afraid for her, too. Jimmy, our oldest son, already met him. Chrissy told her boyfriend that we always throw Jimmy in first and, if ya like him, you will love the rest of us.

Also, Rose’s Mom Tiff is expecting another baby! We are all thrilled! I am so glad that my kids see this as a blessing!

I am so happy that my kids aren’t worldly and stuffed with pride and vanity. I have to think that my writing and prayers have made them all stronger. Mary told me the other day on the phone, “Mom, you don’t have to worry about me — I am pretty strong.” Brandon got to work all last week. I am prayin’ he will get to work all this week. The kids really need the money. But they will make it — they aways do. It’s hard for Mom (me) to wait in the sidelines. But, oh, I am believing God for all of them rascals.

Ya know, years ago in 1998, Jimmy and Aleks got married on the east coast. Jimmy paid for part of our tickets and Jim paid the rest. Jim, the younger 3 kids, and I took a plane to New Jersey. Well, we had never been on a plane before. And somehow we got to go first class on the plane. All of us sat up there with the flight crew. I had been a wreck about going. But, as we took off and I looked out the window, I knew it was a miracle that we had gotten to go first class. We had eaten before we got on the plane. But, of course, we got wined and dined on first class. The pilot got out of his seat and let the kids sit in his chair and took each their pictures. We had a ball! As I looked out the window and prayed, I knew God was showing me Himself and saying, “See, Connie, I told you I would take care of your family on the plane.” Well, this was our first plane ride so we didn’t know the difference. See, we didn’t have first class tickets — they just put us on first class. But on the ride home, we had to sit with the other passengers and so we then knew how much luxury was on first class.

Our family was so much fun at the wedding. Jimmy told his guests that we weren’t his real family. That he had just rented us to make folks think he was a wild and crazy guy.

Jimmy is very educated and his wife Alecks has studied to be an English professor. She is expecting her first baby in May. She is a wonderful cook and spends days on sauces for Jimmy’s meat. Then Jimmy will ask her if they have any catchup. She has gotten so mad at him for that. So now she wont allow catchup in the house.

Alecks’ mom is a straight up kick in the pants riot. She is a 7th grade public school teacher. Man, you would have to be able to laugh over that. But she is a good one to roll with the punch.

All of my daughter-in-laws’ mothers are really hilarious. Except for Susie’s mom — she is really quiet. God Bless her! She is really a sweet woman. I like her a lot. I know Dan makes her laugh.

But I dunno, I hope I live through these kids. As Christine, John’s wife, told me at the 4th of July picnic when firecrackers were falling out of the trees on my head, “Connie, your kids are just very creative. Don’t worry about them.” I am thinkin’ “Man, I hope I live through these kids.”

Well, ya know, I know the Lord is with me. I have called upon Him and He will answer me and show me great and mighty things that I know not. We Moms and wives think we know everything but we don’t. We know not the power of God. But we trust in Him that all of our children are, even now this minute, being taught of the Lord.

Love,
Connie

Dear Lord,

Well, I know You have heard of the Revolution I want to start. But I ain’t up to it? I mean I am burnt out and just wanna call it quits?

I know my nation needs a Revolution. I long to turn the TV on and see barefoot homemakers teaching the younger women to be keepers at home. I am bored to pieces at what I see the church world doin’. Their sermons are so weak and milky. Old manna. Spoiled food is being choked down by Your little lambs that long so for the truth.

Oh, I remember the old time church meetings. Where the preacher was alive with the power of God. We would sit in the meetings with our babies asleep on the pews beside us. We were entertained for hours by the Holy Ghost. The preaching was stunning and touched the soul. Oh, it was glorious. Now the best ya get is all prophesy and you don’t know if that is true or not. The preaching is so dry and touches the mind only and not the soul or the hurting spirit. Oh, God, save us from this.

If I see one more so called Christian woman singing another canned song, I will vomit. They all look the same with the same thick lipstick and same hairdo with the same style, and same black thick eye make up. It all grieves my soul. It’s like a heart and soul sore being scraped continually. It can never heal.

Dear God, we need a new Revolution. I stare at you, Lord, wanting You to do something, Lord. Encourage me today lest I die of sorrow. Give all of us on this group a fresh anointing and a fresh vision of you.

Holy Angels, please help us. Warring angels, please come to us with messages from God.

Lord, be my strength and my soundness in my flesh.

Give us miracles this day, dear Lord. We call to you and beg of you for direction and courage. I send this email to heaven and I expect many miracles today.

I throw my life and my all upon You. I have no life outside of You, Jesus. We love You and You are the only One Who can put us over.

Love,
Connieh, your beloved court Jester

Good Morning! Praise the Lord. I feel the Lord is helping me to feel better. I had been so discouraged lately. I feel like all is well.

If I were to ask the lord for anything, it would be courage. I feel that He gives me wisdom through His word. But I so lack the courage. I feel like I need so much more backbone and spine. I can sure see why so many women my age are on nerve pills. But, heck, I ain’t goin’ to a doctor and pay out a hundred bucks for him to tell me I am nervous. I know that!

Now, I have told you all about the valerian I tried years ago? Well, it’s such a funny story — I have to tell it again.

It was the summer of 1999. A lady who was getting my Happy Housewifery Newsletter wanted to trade fresh herbs with me through the mail. I had just planted my valerian and I had feverfew, too. But it had just started growing and I didn’t know what I had. So I knew valerian would make me sort of tired. So it was early afternoon and I made some tea with the valerian leaves. You are supposed to use the roots. But my plant was new and hadn’t established a real root system. So I made a cup of tea with the leaves and I didn’t feel any different. So I drank another cup and felt ok. But I kept thinkin’ “Well, I don’t know if this is valerian or not.” So I drank cup after cup of this, trying to figure out what it was.

Well, Jim was at work and got home at about 4:00 in the afternoon. Oh Boy! All that valerian tea hit all at once. Jim comes in and sits down and is trying to talk to me about his day and my eyes just close like I am toy doll or something. I would be just talking and it was “Good Night” — my eyes would close and not come back open. Like they were glued shut. I knew that it was the valerian. So I sit there and talk to Jim real normal with my eyes shut. Still tryin’ to pull this off. Finally, Jim says to me, “What in the world is the matter with you?” Well, then I had to tell him what happened. No way could I fix supper. I finally had to just go to bed and I slept the night.

Another funny story is this. I wanted some gravel for the driveway but we couldn’t afford rocks? So the city was cutting down some trees and they were grinding up the wood for mulch. I asked if I could have the mulch from my neighbors tree only. But what the guy did was go all over town and cut and mulch a bunch of trees and then, when I wasn’t looking, he dumped all of the mulch in my driveway.

Well, my driveway is only from the street to the sidewalk in length. I was crazy when I saw this huge mountain of mulch in my driveway. The deal was that Jim would be home from work in a few hours and needed to park in the driveway. So I run out with a rake and tried to flatten the hill. That mulch went almost to my waist? I took some away in a wheelbarrow and dumped it around every plant I had. But it was so much mulch (wood shavings), so I kept working on it, trying to do anything under the sun with it.

When Jim gets off work, he likes it quiet? Coming to his driveway loaded with mulch is not a relaxing thing for him to come home to. So I am workin’ like a dog with this mountain of mulch. So I knew I wouldn’t get it all hauled away before he got home so I thought I will just flatten it and widen the driveway. So I worked on that. This took me at least 2 hours.

Well, I flattened the driveway with the mulch as best I could. I thought, “Well, he could get the car in, anyway.” But it was so funny. I was still workin’ on it when Jim got home from work. Well, I thought the driveway was flat? But it wasn’t and he had to drive the car up on like a ramp? So here I am beside the driveway and he is up in the air with the car. I always give it my best shot and act like, “What else is new?”

That night Jim had to fix my supper. Here I am, a stay at home Mom, and Jim had to come home and fix my supper. Well, I was famished and couldn’t even get up off the couch. My friends have laughed for years over it.

Well, I guess I need funny stories to get my blood to circulate. Being me, funny stories are usually easy to come by.

Jim is sitting here and I asked him about what he thought the funniest thing was that happened around here. He said it was when John, at about 14, had this tent that he slept in during the summer. It was right beside the house. As soon as Jim and I would get ready to doze off to sleep, we would hear firecrackers go off at night. The next morning, Jim would ask John who was setting firecrackers off a night? And John would say he didn’t know — he hadn’t heard anything. Well, Jim would go out and look in the tent and couldn’t find any explosives. Well, as the weather cooled, Jim decided to take the tent down and, underneath the tent, was thousands of firecrackers. John said he didn’t know where they came from. Of course, John got in alotta trouble for that.

John was always grounded! He loved explosives. Every time I left the house I said, “John, don’t you dare light anything up. We don’t have fire insurance and you will burn the house down.” But, thank the Lord, he never did. It was Mom who almost burned the house down twice. John could have a firecracker lit in both ears and tell us he had given up lighting firecrackers. Boy, was he hard to raise! He is fine now but back then, when he was about 13 or 14, it’s a wonder we didn’t kill him.

One time he was sassin’ me in the hallway and I pushed him backward into the window. He broke the window and almost went out it. Jim told me to quit trying to throw John out the window.

Then John, when he was about 16, bought these huge pants. They cost 50 dollars. They were gross. When John was gone one day, I took them pants and cut out all the seams and laid them flat like a tablecloth. Wow, was the boy mad. He told everyone I had cut up all of his clothes and he didn’t have any clothes. Slight exaggeration, huh? But I had the 3 little ones still at home and couldn’t stand John standing there with his pants hangin’ off. Jim got after him, too, and would take his jeans and hide them.

Then we went through the piercing with John. He had an earring in his lip. One day, when a very nice homeschooling mom was here, John shot milk through the hole in his lip. I was not impressed.

Right after Dan and David graduated from homeschool and left home, they got tattoos. Dan wore the huge earrings. He stuck cigs in the holes in his ears. They have since settled down. Thank God!

My life has been a comedy of errors. I am positive everyone thinks I am nuts. It’s no wonder I don’t feel exactly up to starting a Revolution. I really feel like I have the knowledge and vision but not the guts. I am getting tooo old for this stuff.

Seriously, if you all know of anyone who could encourage me who has started a Revolution, please send them this email. I need about a hundred angels to help me. Maybe I could send them a pretend email and who knows they may get it? I know the astronauts can email from outer space. So who knows where these emails go to. I think I will send an email to the angels. Stay tuned.

Good Morning! Ya know, yesterday I was worryin’ about my kids and prayin’. And ya know how, sometimes in prayer, you hear a voice in your heart and you know it is God speaking. It was like my chest was glass and a giant hand crashed into it. As I prayed, it was like a man’s hand went down into my soul and pulled up a truth out of my gut. The Lord spoke, “Connie, you will not reap where you have not sown.” He went on to explain that I will not reap from seeds of evil soil. He told me that I had been a good mother. And to not hang around fields that had been planted in wickedness. He told me that I would reap what I had sown. I was not a careless mother who ran out on her family. I wasn’t laying around with strange men when I could have. I remained faithful to my husband and to my home and children. And the Lord told me, “Why do you hang around the fields of dry barren land where My rain has not fallen? Why do you sorrow over hard soil that you have not plowed?”

The Spirit of the Lord kept showing me myself in the field of wickedness tryin’ to harvest good fruit. But see, Saints? The devil accuses us before the Father God day and night. It’s his job to be the accuser of the brethren. Satan accused Job and he will accuse us.

Our minds must be renewed by the Word of God. If you have raised your children for Jesus, then expect them to walk in the Lord. For the first time yesterday, as I prayed, I could see all of my children confessing Christ. Well, Jesus said they all would come to Him, that if I raised them up for Him they would know Him. “Oh, Mama’s God” — the God of their Mother? And how do I tell them again who my God is? I tell them as I live it. As I don’t fold in the hard places.

The Word tells us to not become weary in well doing for we shall reap if we faint not. It’s hard not to faint and give up sometimes in raising a family. But we can’t reap our seeds of love and truth if we give up. We have to cast down vain imaginations and everything that exalts itself above the knowledge of God. And some of your worst danged enemies are them of your household. It takes alotta love to try to save the skin of a kid that is fighting you.

The devil wants for us to give up on our families and keep us separated from each other. But the truth is that we are saved and our households. I mean, no, if we don’t stand on the promises of God and we let our seeds die, then they won’t know the Lord. But if we plant our precious seeds in prayer and weeping, we will come again rejoicing bringing in the fruit.

It is a promise, dear Mothers, that our weeping may last for the night but JOY comes in the morning. We don’t pray just to be prayin’ — we pray to see the answer come. We water our seeds with our tears and we refuse to give up in the dark places. And unless the seed dies in the earth, it can’t produce.

Oh mercy! I always thought that since I went through hell my kids wouldn’t ever have to. I could tell ‘em my testimony and that would be enough to scare ‘em. And it didn’t? But that is life, dear mothers. God doesn’t raise grandchildren — all of His are His children. Each of our children have to learn to walk with God just as we did. We can stand on the sideline and cheer ‘em on. But our main job as Mothers and wives is to not give up? And that is job enough, if ya ask me. Just don’t give up the hope within ya.

Early on in my marriage, everyone told me to give up and get a divorce. But I would look at my children. I wanted them to have a Dad and Mom who were together. I worked on my foundation and kept building it. I sacrificed my own life to give a life to them. God knows that. And I can come boldly before His throne and claim His promises for my children. “All of my children shall be taught of the Lord and GREAT shall be their PEACE.” Not because I have taught them but Jesus is teaching them His ways even now. Yes, even now. They are taught of the Lord.

Plowing a Field

I told the Lord yesterday, “Lord, I feel like every morning I get up and I plow a whole field. I get up and kick Satan in the teeth and then put on my harness and PLOW all day.” I am saying this as I know some of you feel the same way. I show the devil my shoulder and tell him I am mete for the match and I can bulldog my way through. I feel like I hold up a side of the house with sheer guts and that is all.

I think we don’t understand that we are to fight the good fight of faith. The Word says Think it not strange when you fall into diverse temptations. We think it is strange if the devil tries to keep us up all night. It ain’t strange. If fear attacks us and we have to rebuke it, that ain’t strange. If we have fear attacks called anxiety attacks, that ain’t strange. Just because Satan comes to you with a list of things for you to cry over, and you do cry over it, that isn’t the end of the world. It’s a fight? Hello?

Oh, yeah, tell me about it. I have a writing I wrote in my early years that says, “Lord, I am tired of making meals without hardly any food and I am tired of washing clothes with no soap.” And, ya know, when we decided to go by faith and not get any more food stamps or government cheese, that was hard. We were going without, anyway. But ya know what? I just took that burden on my back as I had other burdens. I knew this was good for Jim and I knew God would keep me.

And, ya know, some real saints of God would come to my house to encourage me. This act of faith on my part gave them courage, too. And they honored me as a woman of dignity for not giving up when I sure could have. And if we want to draw to ourselves virtuous women as friends, we have to be one ourselves. My friends didn’t feel sorry for me they just cheered me on. Oh, what a precious gift they gave me to have faith with me. They told me not to give up, and I didn’t give up. And I saw many miracles as I stood on the turf of the enemy and I refused to bow to the king of this world.

And now we as Christians live in such a perverted world. It’s hard as nails at times to just keep on goin’. Well, if we were happy-go-lucky in this world, then that would mean we are spiritually blind and our hide as tough as wood. There is a battle out there. You may as well get your armor and put it on.

Quit running from pillar to post wondering why the devil is attacking you. He is attacking you ’cause it’s his job. He gets paid to do it. He has done it forever. It’s his nature. He likes it. Seeing women scream in horror is his bag. And if you have been screaming in horror, don’t feel alone, Darlin’. And ya know if you just keep fighting and you don’t give up, the devil will leave you alone and go bug someone else.

But, see, the lie is that you are the only one bein’ bugged and your problem is worse than anyone else’s. And with all of the Good News books out there that Christians write, it makes you think that you are the only one down on your luck because you didn’t give Brother Buster a hundred dollars! No, it don’t have anything to do with how much $$ you gave Brother Buster. Ya gotta be a lot smarter than that. Quit lookin’ at your checkbook to see how blessed you are. The truth is what will bless ya. And the golden truths of His word will be your silver and gold.

We as Christian stay at home Mothers think that if we are blessed, then we will live a life of earthly peace. Sorry, no — as Queens, we fight many battles for our people. We are the Lord’s daughters and all glorious within. Any of the honorable Queens I have read about were virtuous women who were touched by the cries of her people. She fought the good fight of faith and plowed a spiritual field all of her life. As I write, I think of Esther, a woman under authority. As women, if we cannot follow, we cannot lead.

True daughters of God are called out of their places of great testings and trials and He delivers them out of them all.

Dear Kitchen Saints,

This morning I am making bread. I had bought this apple cider at the store on sale? Well, it’s gone to hard cider? So it has some of its own natural yeast. This stuff gets my creative mind going. So for my liquid in the raisin bread I am using the cider. I just made up a loaf of bread, and it is rising. I imagine it will rise like crazy. That cider shudda been tied to a post with a strong cowboy rope. But that’s beside the point.

Also, this morning I had fixed Jim some sausage and pancakes. I fried the sausage in a big cast iron skillet. The skillet was still warm so I put the bread dough in the skillet to rise, and I put a lid on it. The skillet has the leftover sausage grease and tiny bits of fried meat in it. So I rubbed the bread dough in that and let it rise. Now, the old time mothers did stuff like that. They made bread and soup or whatever from what they had on hand. They didn’t have corn oil and just used bacon grease or lard for their baking if they didn’t have butter.

My sugar bowl was about empty of sugar so I just put my yeast in there to rise and to use the scrapings of the sugar stuck in the bowl to make the yeast rise. Yeast loves sugar.

During the Depression a lot of folks started using the canned milk. I think the government gave it away to poor folks. And after they used the milk in the can, they used the rinsing of the can for something else. They would fill the empty can with water and use this light milk for baking biscuits or to make gravy.

I love having canned milk on hand. I use it in my coffee mostly. When the children were home, I would take a pound of butter and add it to a can of evaporated milk and beat it with my mixer and this made 2 pounds of butter out of one pound of butter. I had an old fashioned crock I kept it in, and kept it in the fridge.

And sometimes, if the Mother at home on the farm ran out of sugar for her desserts, she would use a lot of fruit in her cakes to make things sweet. Or if she had homemade canned jelly and preserves in the root cellar, she would use that to make a dessert. Jam cake was probably invented by a mother who needed a dessert for her family. She made a lightly sweet butter sheet cake then baked it. After it was done, she would spread the top with her home canned peach jam and then roll it up. Then she would slice it. I think they were called Jelly Rolls.

When the children were young and the peanut butter was all gone, I would take the jar with the scrapings in it and add warm milk and honey. Then I would put the lid back on the jar and shake it up and called it peanut butter milk. The kids loved it. And I would do this with leftover jam in a jar with warm milk and honey. You need the milk to be warm to melt the peanut butter or jelly or whatever. But the old time Mothers never wasted even the scrapings from a jar. And she saved the jar.

When the old time Mothers made butter, they would have the light watery milk left over which is called buttermilk. But it wasn’t thick and rich and white like you buy in the store. It was watery. But mother saved this buttermilk for making biscuits and all sorts of breads and pancakes. Buttermilk will make biscuits rise slightly without using baking powder — well, depending too on how ripe it is.

All of my stuff ferments anyway. The kids, when they are here and I show them how to make bread, say, “Mom’s yeast rises like I have never seen before.” So then they will want to take some of my yeast home to see if they can get it to rise like mine does. They will say, “Well, Mom does this or that with her yeast I will do that, too.” But, actually, it’s just the house here, I think. I bake a lot and I think a lot of natural yeast is in the air here. Because everything bubbles here.

I think a house where folks are telling jokes and are happy that the yeast loves it, too. Also a hot blooded Mama helps.

Dear Keepers at Home,

Wow, it’s pretty bad weather outside this morning. We are supposed to get a lot of snow. Right now it is sleeting. I meant to get up a lot earlier to write and start housework. Its just 6:45. Jim will go to work this afternoon. But I needed to make sure my wash was caught up and things done in case any power lines would go down. Want to get a meal going, too.

Yesterday I had my little ray of sunshine come for the day. Little Baby Rose. What a darling! I got her kitchen sink set off the porch and had it set up in the living room by the time Grandpa brought her here. Oh, she was so happy. She said, “Gramma, I love my kitchen.” She talks very plain.

Romeo is the orneriest boy! Oh mercy. But I love him just as much as I love Rose. I just pray for him. He tells me, at 3, that he doesn’t like me cus I am old. And Rose says, “Gramma isn’t old — she is my grandma.” It’s all a riot!

My first son Jimmy was very outspoken like that so I am used to it. I had Jimmy at 19 years old. When he was about 3, he began to talk a lot. And if someone came into the room who was fat, he let them know it. Embarrassed me to pieces. I used to cry all night in my bed over it. He later went to Christian school and was so ornery. If he was bad here at home, I would make him go upstairs and lay on my bed. Well, he found some Family Circle magazines in my room that my Mom had given to me. Well, he cut the pics out in the back. You know, where the ads are? Well, all of those ads about bust cream and nighties and all? That stinker cut those pics out and gave them to the kids at Christian school. The other mothers were always cursing me and gossiping about me because Jim and I were separated. So they started rumors that I was into sex magazines and all. They thought I had a sex disease and all. Funny stuff, let me tell ya.

Jimmy did turn out alright and now will be 40 this year and his wife Aleks will have their first baby. Jimmy has lived a good life. But, oh mercy! He was one to say what was on his mind. So I am mete for the match with Romeo. He don’t know his gramma very well, does he?

I have seen it all and been there and done that. So Romeo won’t surprise me. But I have a few surprises for him! So I know Romeo will be giving me a lot to write about as my life with him goes along. I asked him the last time he stayed overnight with us, “Romeo, didn’t you have the least bit of fun here at Gram’s?” and he says “NO.” He had screamed at night wanting to go home. Finally, he went to sleep. Then when he woke up, he says, “Good Morning. I had such a good sleep.” Jim and I just look at each other like, “What will he come up with next?”

Well, he is just a little kid and with love and prayers he will be ok. But had I not raised our Jimmy, I think Romeo would be a hard case for me to figure out. Romeo seems very intelligent and Jimmy is, too.

Jimmy still has a way with words. He had dinner with Christian Joy’s new boyfriend. Chrissy told her boyfriend that we Hultquists throw Jimmy in first and, if ya like him, you will love the rest of us. None of us have met Chrissy’s boyfriend yet. Well, Jimmy knows good and well that this guy is 5 years older than Chrissy. But he told my mom that Chrissy is quite a bit older than her boyfriend. Like she robbed the cradle or something. He said that to be ornery! Of course we will get him back.

I am tellin’ ya, you have to be runnin’ pretty fast to keep up with my kids! They keep me praying, let me tell ya. And now that they are older I can’t send them to their room. Believe me, I would if I could. And yet heaven won’t be heaven without all of my kids there and all of my grandkids and great grandkids. I put my heart into them, even though they are older now. Brandon is doing better and is working.

I just keep praying and believing the Lord. We have to trust in God, ya know? It is only Him that can take us over, by faith in Him only, as we trust.

Trusting in Jesus

I will have to tell you that, lately, it’s been a rough ride for me with family. But, ya know, you don’t want a family that is always perfect and you know all of the outcome. Because if you do have it all mapped out, then the supernatural can never happen. It’s when we suffer and are out of the comfort zone, where God has to rescue us? That’s where the miracles come in.

We can’t plan the supernatural — we just have to get on the rocket and close our eyes and hope we can make it. And if you are on a rocket to the moon, and you don’t think you even have the power to get there, then you had better be trustin’ in more than your flesh. Because you are strapped in and everyone is tellin’ ya that you will be sure to get lost in space. Then you better be trusting in God. And many of us are there. It’s either trust in God or give up and die.

The fear alone will kill ya. And if you are full of fear, you will fail. God is not the spirit of fear but of power, love, and a sound mind. If the spirit of fear is around you, then go to the Word and cover this spirit with truth and holiness. Don’t let fear make you move for Satan. Walk in faith and power and love.

See, Satan prowls about as a hungry lion. He runs at us and tries to intimidate us. But the Word says that he is like a lion but he is not the Lion of Judah. Daniel was not overtaken in the lions’ den and you won’t be, either. Daniel fell asleep in the presence of his enemies, the hungry lions.

Oh, yes, we go through what the world does but we are not defeated as the world is. We prove our God in the hard places. He is the Lord of all . He is Jesus and above Him there is no other. He is our Lord and king and we prove it in the hard places. We will not lay down and die as the women about us but we will live and not die. We will show the world how to make it in the hard times. But not because we have a set of rules to go by. Or because we read the right book. Or because we have enough money as we followed Creflo $$. No, our testimony is forever that “Jesus alone helped me through.”

Like I told Johnny the other day, “I don’t believe in God because someone told me it was a good idea. I believe that Jesus is Lord because I have used His name many times and He has answered many prayers. I know Him and I know that no other religion is like the reality of Christ.” My kids have seen miracles here at home and they know who Jesus is. The power of God has hit them through my prayers. They can’t ever doubt that. They may try to run from Jesus or try to deny Him so that they can be happy in their sin. But they can’t very well deny Him.

I always laugh when the Jehovah Witnesses come to the door. I don’t talk to ‘em as Jim won’t allow it. But I want to say, “Why would I give up my Jesus who is the miracle man to go to Kingdom Hall to learn a bunch of rules? I am not lookin’ for another God. None of them measure up to my Jesus. He stands alone. He is my Rock and my Healer.”

It’s not because someone prayed for me once and I was healed or Jim was healed. NO. I have learned to walk in His healing power every day. I don’t have to run off to church to get healed — Jesus is here now with me.

But we hit a darkness in our walks with Him and it looks unfamiliar and we cry out, “Lord, why did You forsake me?” Well, he didn’t forsake you but you are in a different place. A harder place, way out of the comfort zone. But wait upon Him. He sees ya. Many are the afflictions of the righteous but He delivers us out of them all.

Our lives as Spiritual Mothers are marked by sorrow and many victories. That’s just how it works.

Sound Doctrine

And it’s always easier in life’s afflictions if you know the spiritual rules of the Bible to live by. Many Christian women don’t even have the game plan figured out. Deception rules the church world.

I can say without backin’ up I am rarely confused about the Bible. I get in HOT WATER? I have many afflictions but the Lord delivers me. But I understand my place in the heavenlies. So I don’t have to wonder around the block 40 times before I can fight the battle. Not knowing where you are supposed to go spiritually is a burden in and of itself.

The book of Titus is only like 3 short chapters and only 3 pages long. And in that short part, the word “doctrine” is used 4 times. The Bible tells the older woman what to teach the younger. Verse 4 That they may teach the young women to be SOBER to LOVE “THEIR” (own) husbands, to love their children. Verse 5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the Word of God be not Blasphemed. Again it is talking about not going by sound doctrine.

If the older woman is not teaching this to the younger women, then she is blaspheming the word. She isn’t following sound doctrine.

You won’t win the battles for your families by running out of the home or not playing the game by the rules. God won’t switch the rules for you. He has been the same since the beginning of time and He will be the same forever. His Word is true. This is why the Lord says in the Titus 1:6 that a man must have his family in order to be called of God in the church. The teachings on family are the milk of the Word. After a family is in order, then they can go on to ministry.

My family ain’t all in order, and I have wanted to bail out plenty of times. But the Lord tells me that if I will obey Him and keep on goin’ that He will make an honest woman outta me. He will put my family in order as I walk by faith and do what is right. Sort of like a blessing in backwards? Nothin’ new — it’s how I live. I am always a tape in backwards. But as a mule, I follow the corn on the fishin’ pole set before me. As I go, He pulls the rest of the unruly kids into place.

We Hultquists are a long ways from perfect. My kids are artists and inventors. Musicians and writers. Not a sin but interesting? But I ain’t given up on any of them. It’s a hell of a ride but I am goin’ on for the long haul.

We can’t follow the word of God in the flesh. We have to follow the word of God by faith and that pushes us out of the familiar. But do we want His miracles or the world?

But please read Titus — it is full of writings on Sound Doctrine. We live in a world that is so foggy on the rules of life. Titus 1:13 tells us to rebuke the Christians sharply that they may be sound in faith. Verse 16 says They profess that they know God, but in works they deny Him. These chapters again and again rebuke the Christians who do not walk in family order. They are out of the move of God and are into false doctrines. Verse 12 of chapter 2 says this. Teaching us that denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously and godly in this present world. And Titus says, Chapter 3:10, that a heretic or someone who doesn’t go by the rules of family, after the first or second admonition we should reject them.

But, no, we Christians are so confused and deceived. We think we can’t judge another Christian. But the Bible does and tells us to. If we don’t have the courage to judge what is going on in front of us, then how will we judge the angels in heaven? We are to judge and to discern the spirits about us.

Motherless Child

And some women like me are always tap dancin’ and tryin’ to do the spiritual work of a much older woman.

The midwives around here were never the older Granny women. They were the young women. Lisa, who lived around here, was delivering like at least 20 or 30 babies a month. And yet she had 6 children at home and was very busy. She finally burned out as she had so little help. She moved to another state.

But, see, I am like her. I had no one to help me when I raised 6 children. The older women about me sneered at me and gossiped and told tales on me. Some, like MaryL, played the part of the older Titus Mother. But most of the time, I was on my own. And I live now in this place, a Titus 2 mother without examples before me.

I am still fightin’ and pushin’ and tap dancin’ and B.S.-ing and bull doggin’ my way through. God knows I don’t know what I am doing. Sorry! I guess I just have a vision. And if ya think I have a choice to follow it or not? Hmmm. No, God has my number and it’s do it or die.

I have a fire behind me that chases me like a band of wild Indians. I have a calling, I guess. And it ain’t easy when ya got a calling? You are a walking target. Or like me, a running target? Hello? You stay in trouble and hot water? And nothing around you ever happens in a normal way? I am saying all of this in case some of you have a calling from the Lord. Don’t ever ask for one. I never did but I got one, anyway.

I can’t wait to go to heaven to get some peace and quiet. It is quiet there, isn’t it?

Thank the Lord for Jim who continually gives me peace and rest and protection. God knows what He is doing, and He never gives you more than you can bear. At the end of the day, Papa is here with me and gives me rest. I know I have to fix supper in the evening and this gives me peace in the midst of my storm. Jim sits quietly in the mornings and makes out the bills. I haven’t seen a bill in years. Jim is my pillar of strength. He is my foundation to stand on to write to you all.

I prayed for him when all he did was tear my temple down. I worked in prayer to build a platform to teach the younger mother to be a keeper at home. My temple is handmade, all of it. All from scratch. All built on the Bible, the Word of God. I had nothing as I prayed for Jim, nothing but the word of God. I didn’t have the older Titus Mother. Yes, I had Dixie and Jill to help me as my sisters. But I didn’t have the ministry of the older Titus woman. I built my spiritual house only upon the word of God, the spiritual truths I got from the nights of weeping in intercession and only my Bible to guide me.

I have often felt like a child whose mother died and she is only 7 years old and she is left in charge of the cabin and the other children younger than her. She is a pioneer child left in charge. NO help is on the way. This is the early pioneer years and she has no phone to call 911. She only lives and does what is before her to keep the family alive. Day to day, as she gets older, she get stronger and wiser. But yet she knows so little. But she survives and she someday wears the shoes she saved of her mother’s. But she has to live and grow until she can wear her Mother’s shoes.

I feel like this motherless child. Most of the time praying, “Lord, keep me as the apple of thine eye.” And “Don’t let me go, Lord, lead me into righteousness. I don’t know how to do this Lord. Show me.”

Jim is like an angel over me who watches over me as Jesus would. I am not alone. Jim is the priest of my home. My spiritual protector.

I am up early here writing. I hope you all have enjoyed Emily’s writings as much as I have. Emily is going through some problems and writing about her Mother is really good for her and nice for all of us.

When Em said that her Mom canned 800 quarts of food a year, this was true. I remember Dixie saying that she filled her canner twice a day in the fall when the food was ready to be canned. Her canner held 8 quarts. She made a lot of grape jam from her grape vines. She had a huge apple tree and made a lot of applesauce. Then she had a freezer that she filled with apple pie filling for winter pies. Then, of course, she always had a huge garden and canned her vegetables and fruits. She tried to make everything they ate and hated to go to the grocery store. But if she did have to have store things, she took the labels off, as she didn’t want to have store advertisements in her house.

Like Em said, she hated worldliness. She had been out in the world before she was saved and so wanted nothing more of it. She had a wild life before she knew the Lord. A very hard life and that was enough. Emily, if you want to tell any of that, you can, as a lot of the ladies could relate.

I remember when the spirit of wisdom first came to Dixie. And, oh, I would sit at her feet to hear her speak of the wisdom of God. Well, if you had heard her, you would have loved it, too.

Emily was always fascinated by her Mother, even as she got older. Dixie would just go about her business and talk about Wisdom as her sister. You always felt when you talked to Dixie you were talking to her Sister Wisdom, too. She always talked about how we need to cry after the Wisdom of God. I used to tell her, “Dixie, this stuff is dynamite. So many women need to hear this.”

And she would say to me, “Connie, the feminists would laugh their heads off at you if you were to tell this to them.”

I would say, “Yeah, but not every woman would laugh.”

I mean if Emily and I weren’t here to tell you about all of this, you never would have heard it from Dixie. And I was always the writer. Dixie would give me paper and say, “You are the writer, Connie.” And Now I guess Emily is a writer, too — a good one.

Emily, you are like Laura writing about your mother. Ya know, this is why Laura began writing, is because she missed Pa and Ma so much, and her sisters and the baby boy who died. Dixie and Em loved to read the Little House on the Prairie books. Emily was brought up on them and all the cook books and song books, take offs of Laura’s books. Dixie used to tell us girls, “Connie, there is wisdom for today in those books.” And there sure is.

But Dixie was a forerunner. She was the head goose who led the rest of us in a “V”. She cut the wind for a lot of us to follow.

And the thing with learning wisdom is that one can never learn it all from one who has the wisdom of God. You have to learn the wisdom by experience, right Emily? We can pick up a taste for it or an inspiration. But we have to get the true wisdom from God. Just Him and us.

I am such a Word person. I was brought up in my faith in a little Baptist church. And those Baptists are pretty stiff but stay a lot on the Word of God. So when Dixie started talkin’ about Wisdom, I really prayed about it. Dixie had more Spirit than I had. So the wisdom didn’t come to me as quickly. So I was always in the Lord’s face about it and in the Word of God.

And you all should study it, too, as I did. Because if you don’t, then the devil will come to try to take it out of your heart. And if you stand there and say, “Well, Connie said this and that” — well, no, only the Word of God can rebuke the devil. You have to know on your own why you are the wise woman who builds her home.

Ya know, deception is out there as thick as mud. But I tell ya, I am almost never confused anymore about what I believe. Because I know the wisdom of God concerning being a keeper at home. That is a basis for truth.

But, no, this stuff with women preachers and all will be the ruin of ya. Women are not to take authority over men. Not in the home or any place. And especially not in the church of Christ.

I save myself more grief just because I know this. The Lord takes me to the craziest meetings to show me stuff. I mean stuff that is like a circus side show. And everyone is always going to these meetings where women prophesy. Now why do we need so much prophesy? And it isn’t prophesy for the whole family. It’s this prophesy for the wifes gifts to be used outside the home. Nothing about the home or the children. Just about women being like movie stars. What a bunch of junk!

But all of this religious garbage being preached by these so called women preachers are making way for more deception. And the most godly people are falling for this deception! But as the teachings are lost concerning home and family, the stage is set for horrid deception. I wonder if this is the deception in the end times that will deceive the very elect. I feel it could be.

Walk in holiness and don’t divorce your husband. Stand for the family. Take care of the children. Your salvation is in taking care of your family. This is your holy covering.

Good Morning!

I want ya all to pray for Emily as she has missed her Mom Dixie so much lately. Dixie died about 3 years ago. I miss her, too. I mean if your house burned to the ground, Dixie would have come in and said, “Well, this isn’t anything. You have a pioneer spirit — you and Jim can build your house again. Why are you worried?” I mean the woman never flinched.

At the hospital, as the doctor announced she was dying, she whispered to Em, “If ya believe that, you are stupid.” And Dixie never did die of cancer. The hospital sent Em a note telling her that her Mom had died from a hospital procedure. I really think Dixie would have beat cancer had it not been for the hospital.

Jill and I used to go out to Dixie’s house and, oh, it was like a revival out there. You felt like you had been to a camp meeting. She was so full of homemaking. She would say things like, “Well, Wisdom has been showin’ up out here.” Or she would speak of the angels and what they told her. Or that Jesus had been there the night before. Emily went for walks with the angels in the evening down the dirt road by their house. It was so supernatural out on that little farm. It just was.

Oh, how we as homemakers need the spirit of wisdom as described in Proverbs. We need the voice of wisdom and not the voice of the strange woman.

Dixie was so funny. One time I went out there and we were walking out on her land. A new housing development had sprung up out there. Dixie said to me, “Connie, I let the weeds grow up so I won’t have to look at those new houses — they are all so evil.” She hated materialism. That woman was so cut and dried. Now a new house don’t bother me. But to her it was evil. She had a new house but didn’t want it. She chose poverty and gave her life to seeking wisdom.

One time she had, I think, 10 bucks for groceries. She left home to get groceries and the tire went flat. She drove the car into town on the rim and it cost her 8 bucks to fix the tire. So she just went back home with her 2 bucks. Oh, she was a powerhouse. She probably just went home and prayed for groceries.

Dixie was always very serious. Emily was always verrrry funny. When she was little, she would bug her mom when Dixie came to our house. One day Em kept whispering into her Mom’s ear. And Dixie would tell Em to quit. Finally Dixie was exasperated and yelled at Emily. “No, Emily, you can’t get chocolate milk out of a brown cow.” Emily was probably about 7 or 8 years old. Now Em is — what Emily? 27? — and married with 2 babies.

Dixie raising Em was always a riot. One of the things Dixie would do when Em was doing something she shouldn’t was Dixie would raise her hands to Jesus and say, “Oh, Lord, give me patience.” So, anyway, we were at a prayer meeting at MaryL’s house. And everything was quiet. And right in the middle of nowhere, Em says, “Mom, can I have a candy bar?” Of course, Dixie told her NO. Well, Em, being about 7, raised her hands to Jesus and said, “Oh, Lord, give me patience.” And Dixie would be very serious about it all.

Of course, I would laugh and probably made things worse. I could make Dixie laugh, too. But Dixie would cover her mouth and say, “Oh, I shouldn’t laugh.” She didn’t want to encourage me to be silly. But being silly was my strength, I guess.

And no matter what I told Dixie about some catastrophe of one kind or another, she would say, “Oh, Connie, don’t confess it.” Or she would tell me something and then say, “Well, I don’t want to say a whole lot about it, as I don’t want the devil in on it.” She would go on to say, “Ya know, God is gonna draw a rabbit out of His hat any day now.” In other words, she was saying that God had a plan, an answer coming. Always a victory right around the corner.

She would tell me, “Oh, Connie, just stay in your homemaking. Don’t look to the left or to the right. Just keep walkin’ in faith. Just keep on goin’ — don’t give up.” She helped me so much just before Jim got saved.

And, ya know, when I met Dixie, I was just raw with grief and torment. I had been through a hell of a 12 year stretch. She didn’t know me when I went through it all but met me just after Jim had barely been healed. I almost lost the victory many times through my fears of the past. And I would just sit with the fear up around me. And Dixie would say, “Connie, Jim is healed. You won’t go through that again. He will never leave again. He is healed.”

In my grief, I would tell her, “You don’t know what I have been through. You don’t know how I feel.” I just couldn’t get up and go again.

Sometimes I would get so mad at Dixie. Sometimes I hated her for telling me that Jim was healed. Then I would tell Dixie about the past and she would say, “Oh, go on. Are you still thinkin’ about all of that?”

Well, one day Dixie took me to see Jim at a halfway house. I still didn’t really trust her, I guess. But then, on the car ride home, Dixie told me her testimony for the first time and it was like the whole car lit up inside. A spirit of fear came off of me and I was somehow set free of some of the fears I had. She went to where I was and lifted me up. After that, I trusted her when she said she knew Jim was healed.

I mean a lot of folks played a part in my life and sometimes I was alone to battle my fears. But God sent Dixie to help me, and she did.

When Dixie got saved, she had such a wonderful conversion. She had horrid back problems and was healed instantly. She had smoked like 4 packs of cigarettes a day and was instantly delivered, and never smoked again. She got saved, I think, when she was abut 34. She was such a personality and could entertain anyone by just being herself.

I sure learned wisdom and faith from her. I would just squirm in her kitchen chair out on her farm and say, “Well, I don’t have the wisdom of God like you have it.” And she would say, “Connie, you have it — you just don’t know it.”

Emily, I sent this to the group. If you have any stories to add, I know the ladies would love to read them, as they all know you and Dixie and Jill through my writings.

My Precious Mother

Dixie’s daughter wrote this and is it good! Love Connieh

Connie and Jill thought I’d write some things. Connie, thank you for the memories of Mom. She really was an angel from heaven — that’s the only thing that can explain who she was.

I remember so many things about her, that she didn’t care what people of the world thought. She lived her life purely and wholly unto the Lord’s standards, not man’s.

I remember one time, we had Jehovah Witnesses come to the door telling her that miracles were dead and that she was believing wrong. First mistake was telling her she was wrong in her faith, second saying miracles were dead, so my petite size mother did what only a God-fearing woman would do. She went into all of the miracles that had happened to her, prayed in tongues, and by the time she was done, they had come truly to the Lord and was going to leave that foolishness.

I also always remember when she would sit at the kitchen table for hours talking to the Lord, praying and worshiping and reading her Bible. Her Bible was her sword — she’d say that. She used it so much that, through the years, it came apart. She would never buy a new one. She said it was like Daniel Boone’s rifle. she knew everything about her Bible.

She talked to the Lord like we talk to each other, and knew things that only He would be able to know. We didn’t have a phone for 13 years, but yet Mom always knew if you girls or anyone else would be out that day. It wasn’t uncommon for us to hear heavy footsteps on the stairs or to see angels. One time I was 8 and seen Jesus at my bedroom door. There would be times where the Lord would tell her to “hit your knees” in prayer. She would do nothing else and, sooner or later, she would hear why. Sometimes it kept the devil from killing Dad in the semi. Other times it would be something else, but she always heard the result of her prayers.

I love you and will talk again very soon.
Love always,
Emily