This morning I didn’t want to get up out of bed. A bad mood was hangin’ onto me like dried snot. I don’t know why. I guess it’s just life. Sometimes ya get weary of it all. I didn’t want to get up and go face the world. I didn’t want to write or live or do anything. And the Lord spoke to me about rewards. He spoke to my heart that we obey God because we love Him. But also there are rewards. If we give Him our lives, He gives us His life. He shares Himself with us.

I was watching Martha Stewart yesterday for about 15 minutes. And she had the new girl on that she had just hired. And you could see that this woman was welcomed to a lot that Martha had. And I thought, “Man, I wouldn’t want what Martha has.” Ain’t no way. I would never sell all that I have to have what she has. Oh, I like to watch Martha on TV once in a while. I like to watch her cook sometimes. But, man, I wouldn’t want her life. She really hasn’t lived a faithful life.

I am so happy that I have been faithful to God. We have to choose our battles and what we want to fight for. But, ya know, when you give your life to God and you take on His yoke and walk with Him? You get what He has. And I prayed and told the Lord the desires of my heart. I know I will see His glory. But, ya know, I feel sorry for the world and for the ladies that follow Martha like she is a god or something. I am so glad to be yoked up with Jesus, and His yoke is easy and His burden is light. But, ya know, I have been a bit off lately. I was sorta sick and then I had to take pain reliever and then that makes me get a bit down. Oh, hell, it’s just life, ya know?

Every time I get with old friends, like I did yesterday, it is so wonderful. Then Lynetta is coming this evening and I can’t wait to tease her. Ya know, old friends that you have been with in the Lord for like 25 years. They know ya. They know your ups and downs and your different moods. You can be yourself, it seems. And they seem to be somewhat of a reflection of you. You don’t have to explain your life or whatever. They know ya. With new friends, you have to back up on every sentence and explain this and that. But with old friends in the Lord, you can just be who you are.

Often, when I sit with Jill, it’s like we will laugh a while and then a silence will come. And we will wait before we say anything else. Some things we can’t talk about anymore. Things we have both vowed to be silent about. Just stuff the devil would get ahold of if we let him. But I have known Jill since she was in her late 20’s and now she is in her middle 50’s and I know her heart. Often, as we talk, it is like two old prayer warriors counting up their losses and their victories.

No one owns God. And no one knows all there is to know about Him. Oh, between Jill’s family and mine, we have had great loses and times when our prayers were not answered. And yet we have seen prayer victories … so many victories. Jill prayed for her brother who wrote a book and told his testimony on the 700 Club back in the 1980’s. He got healed and delivered of many demons about he same time Jim was delivered. And now Jill has just won her sister to Christ and she is another miracle. And the more you go on as a believer, the more you realize that you have nothing in yourself and it’s His way or the highway.

Dixie died a few years ago. What a loss that was for all of us. Oh, she had such faith. I remember when Jim first got saved. Oh, I wanted more children so bad. And yet I had the first three children alone basically and now to have more children? Did I dare? Oh, Dixie was so full of faith and would bring baby clothes to my house. I would say, “Well, we will see how it goes.” Jim had asked me to have more children but I was too afraid. I would take the baby clothes Dixie had brought me by faith and I would hide them upstairs. After the children had gone to school, I would go up and look at the baby clothes.

His Rewards

But I had my first three children and I felt l was finally maybe going to rest a while. Jim had hinted at wanting more children. So I would go upstairs and look at the baby clothes and fold and refold them. I would cry and pray unto the Lord. And before I would know it, here would come Dixie again with a play pen or a highchair and finally a bassinet. She had such faith in God. She would just announce to me when the fear was ready to kill me, “Connie! Jim is healed by the mighty power of the Holy Ghost!” Her voice would break through me like a rock on glass. And her voice would shatter me and it hurt in my soul.

I had so many walls built up against my marriage. I had faith but it wasn’t always strong. I had been through so much it was hard to believe that God did give me a miracle. But Jill and Dixie stood in faith with me. And Dixie was afire with such faith. I would cry and say something Jim did at our home. And Dixie would say, “Oh, so you are the boss of Jim now?” She told me often that Jim was the head of the house and I was into his business. And that I should mind my own business. And she didn’t spare my feelings … she told me the truth. And if she thought I had demons of feminism on me when I went to visit her? She would rebuke ‘em when I entered the house, and she would tell me she didn’t want any of those demons attacking her.

Sometimes when I went to see her, she wouldn’t let me in the house at all. She probably thought I had another demon of feminism or whatever. And the ladies by her farm asked her to church and it’s a wonder they are still alive. But, I mean, the folks in faith who stood with me were REAL, believe me. There wasn’t this junk said to me like, “Well, you better watch out for Jim as he may leave you again” or whatever. Or “You don’t owe him anything — look what he did in the past.” No, there was none of that. We walked by faith and didn’t look back.

And then Jim quit hinting about wanting another baby and out and out asked me if I would get pregnant again. At first I said “No,” and yet I didn’t want to back up on God. And by faith I said yes, I would have another child. And I believe this is when Jim really got healed for sure. When he came home in 1979 he was doing well. But after I said I would have another child Jim’s countenance changed and I knew he was healed and really saved.

A man who had a prison ministry told everyone not to help Jim as he would never straighten up. So many gossiped about us and didn’t believe Jim would ever make it. Of course, he did and that was 25 years ago. But I didn’t hang around folks who didn’t believe God with me for my family. I wouldn’t even let ‘em in the house. And, ya know, when you set yourself in agreement with God, you can’t look back. You walk with God on it and that is the bottom line. Whoever doesn’t go along with the word of God, you don’t give them any place in your home or heart. Oh, sure, we have to deal with unbelievers all the time. I do, anyway. But you have to keep them on a tight leash when it comes to your faith. They have to understand that you are believing God and you won’t put up with their unbelief. You have to surround yourself with faith.

And, shoot, I still live like I always have. I go from one faith adventure to the next one. I used to tell MaryL that I thought when ya got old that life got easier and you didn’t have to walk in faith. And she tells me that it gets almost harder as ya go.

I told the Lord this morning in prayer, “I just wanna die.” And He told me that statement has been my strength all along. And I thought I was terrible saying that to God. But we have to die to ourselves and what we want for the Lord to do what He wants in us. And when we give up our ideas of what life should be like then we cling to Him. He wants for us to walk in faith. If you are believing God for a wayward husband, then walk out your faith. You do this by creating a temple home for your family in the wild.

Our Faith

And, ya know, the devil is crazy and a radical sick son of a gun. And yet we as ladies think we have to be polite in our faith. Never do anything unless the elders at church said it was ok. Or unless we have the counsel of three of the fattest church ladies. And yet Mary, Jesus’ mother, was so radical and the church never understood her.

God’s reality is not ours or the world’s. God can give us a miracle anytime. We can’t be lookin’ at the world if we want to walk out our faith. Because Satan has demons waiting on you, Darlin’. Don’t look at the world but look unto God, the author and the finisher of your faith. You have to speak the positive things of God. If the world thinks you are nuts, so what? They thought Jesus was nuts, too. You must create your home from the inside out. The visions in your heart the Lord gave you are more real than this world and what it does or says.

See, we can know the heart of God through reading the Word. He expects us to run the earth by His power, under our husbands, of course. It’s not His will that any man should perish and go to hell. And certainly God doesn’t want our families to go to hell. The Lord says in 1 Peter 3 that “the unbelieving husband shall be won by the actions of the wife.” This means by the actions of a keeper at home. So there ya go! Husband shall be won to the Lord. So you can live in peace and blessing as a faithful wife who obeys God. By faith, all of our children know the Lord, and our husbands.

We don’t have to back up on this or confess doubt and unbelief. Faith is now and you believe now for a family who is walking in God. And you decorate the house “NOW” for Christmas for a family who is walking in the anointing of the Holy Spirit. You will, as mother, take nothing less than a family saved healed and delivered. You are yoked up with Jesus and He is the way the truth and the life. He can show you the way to wholeness and soundness and peace. Walk out your faith and He will be pleased with you.

As wives, we walk out our faith in silence and submission to our husbands. And, again, a meek spirit isn’t always without words. Sometimes a bitchy spirit is silent, too. The meek and quiet spirit is the spirit of peace and of God. It comes out of a woman who is prayed up and not depending on her husband to give her peace.

Dear Christmas Sisters,

Oh! Yesterday afternoon my friend Jill, who I often write about, and her husband Jerry came to our home to wish us a Merry Christmas! Oh, we had a jolly time. Jill and Jerry brought many presents and we had so much fun. Jill had made candy. On a lovely Christmas plate, she laid the dark fudge with walnuts Jerry had cracked. As a couple, they go out to the woods and find walnuts in the fall. Also, Jill brought a delicious pumpkin bread with the walnuts in it. They also brought 4 different kinds of Christmas candy. The dark fudge, peanut butter fudge, toffee, and caramel peanut clusters.

I had made potato cheese soup and a hot spicy chili for our little Christmas party. Then we had coffee and, last but not least, we had the Cherry Raspberry Christmas Cordial. So anything that was funny, anyway, just got funnier. Jill and I serve our men hand and foot. Jill said, “Jim is still your king,” as I served him his soup. Well, she is the same with Jerry.

We laughed and had a joyous time. And, oh mercy! Jill made a lot more too. I will tell you about it. She and Jerry made these dipped pretzels. Oh, I hope I can describe how cute these are. You get the long thick pretzels and dip the ends in almond bark and then nuts or the Christmas sprinkles. You dip them most of the way down so you can hold onto them at the bottom without getting sticky. Jill bundled them up in plastic wrap with a simple Christmas string gathered at each end. It’s the cutest bundle of candy sticks you have ever seen. I want to eat one but I don’t want to mess up how cute they are wrapped. Then, also, Jill brought me some red pepper candles and another cute pumpkin candle. Also, hand lotion and a bar of a Lavender Camay soap. Very fragrant. Oh, it smells lovely. And Jim and I got Jill and Jerry a Poinsettia Christmas flower. Jim had bought eight of these flowers for Christmas and has given many away.

Oh, also Jill gave me some Christmas potpourri. I just opened it this morning and put it in this old fashioned homemade basket. I had pine cones in it on my old buffet. And Jill’s potpourri, spread in the basket, makes it look all the more woodsy. The basket smells homey … like it should be deep in a forest cabin home at Christmas time!

But, oh, we laughed and had fun. We rejoiced over Jill’s sister coming to Christ in the past month. What a testimony she is! She will write a book someday. Jesus delivered her from the gay lifestyle and, oh, how we rejoice over that. She tells it like it is, too. That gays aren’t born like that. You can imagine how we rejoiced over her conversion after 30 years of praying for her. Well, Jill did most of the prayin’. Oh, Jesus is so wonderful. He is our Savior and Lord.

And Jill is just like a wind up toy. So Jerry tells her to start winding down as it was almost time to leave. They had other presents to deliver to friends. Jerry looked so handsome at 74 years old. His curly, thick, pure white hair just glistened in the candlelight. And Jill, as pretty and brown eyed and full of sparkle as ever. Watching Jerry and Jill across the table is entertainment enough, without any presents.

As Jill paused at the door and looked at the house one more time, just before our last goodbyes and hugs, she said, “Well, Connie, you talk about my house having the presence of the Lord in it. Yours does, too.” I looked at the house after she left and tried to see what she saw.

Old familiar friends are such a blessing at Christmas. As iron sharpens iron, old familiar friends sharpen our inner man. We find a stream of still living water in our wilderness. It washes us of the dust and dirt of the world, and refreshes and restores us at Christmas time.

A Christmas Home

This morning, I got an email from a friend of many years. She said that she and her husband wouldn’t be cerebrating Christmas that much. Just going to stay home, as it is such a sad time of the year. What with all the sadness in the world, who would feel like celebrating Christmas. Well, I know her husband to be full of fun and could kid a grasshopper into a belly laugh. I thought of him and how sad he must feel about his wife not making a Christmas for the family.

I know there is so much sadness in the world. I see it very keenly, too. But we as wives are not to take on the burdens of the world. We have homes to be keepers in. And when our families see others having a happy Christmas, then they want to have fun and joy, too.

The Mothers in the Depression times had many parties and celebrations. Families gathered at the family home and brought homemade Christmas breads and cakes. They barely had the staples to cook with. They had ration stamps because of the war. So the old time Mothers would save up their ration stamps for a few months to make sure they had plenty of sugar for Christmas baking. The government gave out boxes of raisins to poor people and often the mother used raisins in a recipe to make it sweet.

Dear Sisters, as the times get harder, the Mother’s heart should get merrier. There is strength in Joy. When the family sees Mother in her Christmas apron, rolling out and baking cookies, they, too, take heart. Mother’s faith shines like a shooting star in the middle of the darkness around us. Her smile and her sparkle is water to a dry and parched soul.

Jill has brought me Christmas candy for 30 years. And she first started making it all when her husband left her. She made sure that she had a Christmas for her children in the midst of much heartache.

If Jill had her husband at her home as much as you do, Penny, she would have thought she had died and gone to heaven. She was abandoned by her husband. But she made the most lovely Christmas home that anyone could imagine. She had food stamps, as she was determined to stay home with her children and care for them. She told the welfare board that she wasn’t looking for a job. She told them her children had been abandoned and she wasn’t going to leave them, too. And her little boy thought they were rich, as his mother always made such wonderful meals and crafts at Christmas. On the coffee table always laid shutoff notices for the lights and water and gas. Jill hardly had the money to pay for these utilities. But her children didn’t know that. It was Christmas time and mother made a lovely Christmas. Not with a lot of presents and expensive things. No, Jill made a Christmas with the Joy of the Lord.

We all got a lot of free government cheese, etc. We were embarrassed — sure we were. But we didn’t let our kids know. They needed food and the peace of God upon their homes. They didn’t need a stingy whiny mother telling them that if their Dad wasn’t such a jerk, they would have a Christmas. Well, children don’t need that garbage. Things are hard enough without hammering the children about not having any food at Christmas. I mean, go get some free food at a church if ya have to. When ya bring it home and it is behind closed doors, the children won’t know where it came from. For their sakes, make a happy Christmas.

The old time Mothers always made a Christmas. Maybe it was all homemade, but they made a joyful time. And sometimes a family would invite friends over for a dance. The family would move everything out of the living room and then roll up the carpet to make a place to dance. And folks brought their fiddles and played music to dance to. And in the dining room was a big table and folks brought food to share and eat together. The old time families made their own entertainment. And then, too, they had many church activities at Christmas. And all the children got presents.

Mother’s Poinsettias

Oh, the old time Mothers loved their Christmas cards, and they saved them all from year to year. They decorated the whole house with Christmas cards. They put special cards in the kitchen, taped on the wall where they could look at them as they baked their Christmas cakes. And they taped some on the window in the living room or on the door. The cards meant so much to them. Sometimes they made homemade cards out of lace and ribbon and butcher paper from the meat market. Mother saved every bit of paper ad string that came into the house.

And one year, when my children were young we hadn’t had any snow. And it was getting near Christmas. So we made snow flakes and taped them on the window to pretend it was snowing. The children made many Christmas pictures and we hung them in nice places in the living room. Right on the wall in prominent places. I considered my children great artists. And they are to this day. We would take a blue piece of construction paper and put cotton on it for snow and for a snow man. Then we would put drops of Elmer’s glue on the picture and put silver sprinkles on it for the snow falling.

One Christmas when the children were babies, I was feeling especially dry in my soul. So much work to do and so little comfort. You know how it goes sometimes. Husband is working hard to keep the family in shoes and winter boots. And somehow Mother’s needs go unnoticed. I had prayed and asked the Lord to restore my soul. I asked the Lord for a poinsettia flower to put on my table. I didn’t know how I would get it. So I made a picture of it with the children’s crayons and taped it on my window. I didn’t want to ask Jim for it as I knew he was burdened enough at Christmas. So I didn’t tell anyone about it, just Jesus.

Well, pretty soon, Poinsettia flowers began to come right out of the sky. My neighbor Trudy brought me one over and has for the past 10 years now. Jim found one on sale and got me one — it was gorgeous. He was working at a hotel and, on Christmas day, Jim brought me home about five poinsettias. After Christmas, I found white poinsettias on sale for a buck and I got one. My home was awash with gorgeous scarlet red and snow white poinsettias that year. And every year since that year, Wild Man has bought me and others poinsettias for Christmas. This year, he also got me a nice potted bouquet of white roses. I put them by our little grandbaby’s picture in the living room, as we love to think of her as our little girl in heaven.

Well, duty calls.

Dear Christmas Mothers,

Well, my book is out and it rides high against feminism. Talk about David with his little sling against the giant. I don’t stand here writing in my own strength but in the strength of the Lord. In my wildest dream, I wouldn’t think of standing up to the world and feminism. But “Hello.” See, I told you the Lord throws me out of airplanes and somehow He plans on me landing on my feet. Or is this a test to see if I will land on my feet? I will tell ya one thing — if God doesn’t stand on the ground to catch me I won’t land at all. I will end up going straight to glory.

And, ya know, the feminists weren’t too worried about me before. But now that I have written a book, they are a bit more worried. And don’t think feminism isn’t a religion. It is witchcraft. It’s rebellion against God. And it will nail you to a wall and kill you with fear if you let it. It hits a mother’s heart with violence and you have to hit feminism with a war like violence. You must take on the whole armor of God and swing the sword of the spirit at Satan and show him the shield of faith. The sword is the word of God. And His word calls us mothers to be keepers at home. Christian feminism is the worst of all demonic spirits in the world today. We as wives and Mothers need to arm ourselves as strong soldiers of the cross.

Satan knows the times and seasons. He knows the Lord will be raising up children to fight in these last days. Satan is trying to kill all the babies he can, like when Jesus was to be born. Satan senses that many children will grow up to be strong for Jesus because of all the home schoolers. Because of the mothers who act like Mary did. He hated Mary and her ministry in the home. She was hunted and accused of being immoral, and still is to this day. This world hates Christ and His anointing. The truth sets us free. You Mothers who are raising your children for Christ won’t be popular in this world. But the Lord will show you the true silver and gold of wisdom.

Cast down the voice of the strange woman in Proverbs and exalt the voice of wisdom. The wise woman builds her house and the foolish tear it down with her hands. We must cast down vain imaginations and the Christian feminism in the world.

Most of the time, we mothers will stay hidden in order to be free to raise our children. But then, once in a while, the Lord will call us out for a moment. But we must not be afraid, as He will give us the words to speak. He will put words in our mouths when we are brought before the world. We must obey Him as we stand before the unholy winds of feminism. And our light affliction will be but for a moment but will yield the fruits of an eternal righteousness. And, as Mary was chased at Christmas, many of us will be chased, too.

So many of you will be getting together with relatives that don’t know the Lord. And they will come against your families. But stand for Christ. I mean, as women, we won’t be saying much, but in our spirits, we must stand for Christ. We must pray and trust in Him. We must arm ourselves with the word of God that calls us as keepers at home.

The feminists hate the word submission. They hate stay at home mothers. And they won’t like my book and I would hate it if they did? I mean, God forbid that the Christian feminists would like it? And don’t kid yourself that these feminists just don’t know any better. They have a satanic agenda. And when they do their witchcraft, then the devil takes over and does a few tricks that even the feminist didn’t know about. They unleash the devils because of their own rebellion against God. They go against the Word of God and they set Satan free to work. And this is why we must only obey God and let Him fight our battles for us.

We are no match for a world full of feminism. But greater is He who is in us then he who is in the world. Satan cannot win in the fight with God.

Feminism

And, ya know, the straight up feminist — heck, they ain’t nothin’ to worry over. You can smell one of them a mile away. They have been suckered good and they have Sucker written across their heads. You know who they are — no big deal. But the Christian feminist is the one to run from. They are spiritual and know the move of the spirit because they have learned it at church. Those tongue talkin’ Christian feminists? Hell is all about them. They know just enough of the move of the spirit to get it going and then bring it around to a satanic rebellion.

Some of these women started out in God and then divorced their husbands? Look out for them — they are lethal. If they sense you don’t know what you are doing or you are wishy washy? Girl, they will have your hide? See, the woman who is called of God and is spiritual, and then turns to rebellion or against her husband — wow, they are the ones to run from. Because when they were with God, they learned of spiritual things. They can bend that sword either way.

Before I knew the Lord, I knew the devil. I talked with him and followed him. So when I came to Jesus, it was easy for me to understand God and His miracles. I understood spiritual things. Well, you get some of these women who are Christian feminists. They are powerful old birds, let me tell ya. If one of ‘em starts prayin’ in tongues, run like hell. No tellin’ what they are praying. It could be curses or whatever.

I speak in tongues myself. The Lord gave me this gift in my bedroom when I was praying about 35 years ago. I speak in tongues in prayer every day. But these gifts of the Holy Spirit are powerful and must come out of a woman who follows the truth.

The gift is subject to the person. We as women must gird our loins with truth. Truth must guard our wombs. As it does, we learn the truth as keepers at home in submission to our husbands.

The word doesn’t teach feminism. As women we must wait upon Jesus and grab the hem of His garment. We must draw virtue out of Him. It is our strength our place as women called as Marys for Him. Don’t try to fight the devil on your own. Wait upon the anointing and power of God. When you get it, then shoot the rock at the giant devil. But don’t shoot the devil without the full armor of God in Ephesians 6.

Go out in the mighty power of Christ and never in your own strength. With God, all things are possible. An angel told Mary that. And I am telling you Marys that, too.

Dear Christmas Mothers,

Last night on the response group, we were writing about being frugal in our housekeeping.

When Jim first became a Christian, and then we had added three more children to our first three, I was to do a lot of praying about being frugal. I felt I was on a mission. To me, the Lord had called me to a high calling of motherhood and I just wanted to be able to make it without going to work.

About the first thing I did was look at my hair. Here it was, all layered up, and needed to be trimmed all the time to have just the right look. I said to heck with that. I tied a bandanna around my head and forgot about the fancy hairdo. I just decided to let my hair grow long and Jim liked it that way, anyway. Your hair can drive ya nuts sometimes and then ya want to go sink money into hair cuts, perms, etc. But I just put a scarf on my hair and that was it — I let it grow. Most men love long hair, anyway. So.

Jim got saved and, in the next 5 years we had three more children. I did a lot of praying about how I was gonna keep food on the table. And the Lord just told me to think of the Depression era Mothers and what they would have bought to keep their families going. So I let my imagination go and I just thought about these mothers.

Of course, they had big gardens and canned and dried their foods in the summer and fall. They had root cellars and stored a lot of root vegetables that they didn’t have to can or dry. Potatoes were a staple, and apples. In the fall, they would fill up their root cellars with squash and pumpkins. And these mothers had to be very watchful over their produce. If something started to rot, they used it up for that night’s supper. Some squash will last a year, but sometimes it won’t and needs to be used up pretty quick. But I would just try to think about getting staples and making meals from scratch. About once a month, I would buy a big box of instant milk.

Well, I will have to finish this later as its gettin’ busy. Wild Man is off work today.

Dear Christmas Sisters,

Wow, that writing yesterday was wild, huh? My point was that we have to live from the inside out. We must live from the visions God has given us. We can’t bounce off the world, and sow our seeds to the world and to unrighteousness. Then we reap the harvest of the world and the things in the world. But if we sow to the Spirit, then we will reap the good things of God and His mercies.

Our hearts are like computers. What we put into them, we will get out of them. If you don’t put good things into your computers, then you can’t get good things out of it.

Say a woman (we will call her “Ruby”) has a wayward husband. It’s Christmas and Mother Ruby has a houseful of children. Ruby arises while it is yet night and prepares spiritual meat for her household. She prays for her wayward husband and maybe about financial problems. Then she lays her burdens at His feet. Ruby stands on many promises of the word of God. “What God has joined together let NO Man or harlot put asunder.” Ruby has prayed and knows God’s will to save her home and marriage. So Ruby gets her apron on and prepares her home for her husband to come home saved healed and delivered.

Maybe her husband is in prison or living with another woman. But Ruby knows that God is bigger than all of this and He can do a Christmas miracle. Ruby doesn’t judge her situation by what the world has told her. Or by her circumstances. She judges her situation by what the Lord has told her. “Ruby, all things are possible with God.” So Ruby expects God to give her a Christmas Miracle. She doesn’t know how He will do it and she isn’t to know how. But Ruby begins to yield her hands to righteousness. She puts herself in agreement with God. She begins to clean her home and start her baking. She believes God will give her a miracle. She is planning on it. Banking on nothing less than a miracle for her family.

Ruby yields herself to God and to her own answered prayers. She casts down vain imaginations and all that exalts itself above the knowledge of God. Ruby puts the word in her heart and in her mouth. She begins to speak peace to her children.

“Will Daddy be home for Christmas?” the children ask her.

“I think so.” Ruby answers. But then Ruby begins to make a Christmas for the children. The children pick up on her faith and they receive the JOY and Peace from their Mother’s heart. An excitement is in the air. Hope is in Ruby’s heart. She refuses the profile of a woman deserted of her husband. And Ruby “sees” herself as a wife cherished and loved by her husband.

She casts down the fear and the imaginations of evil in her heart. She turns on some Christmas music on the radio and she gets out the Christmas decorations and puts up a tree for the children. Ruby is happy and is working along with the children with Joy. Ruby can be joyful because she is expecting many miracles. Not because of what she sees or because things look good. But because of Jesus! Because of His promises. Because Jesus says in His word, “Anything you ask in Jesus name you shall receive.” Also Mark 11:23 and 24. “Believe that you have what you ask for.”

The people of faith in the Bible lived by the words of Christ and moved out in faith BEFORE they saw the physical answer. And we as Christan Mothers are called in the same way. Abraham was called Father of many nations. This was long before Sarah who was barren conceived a child.

We as Mothers of faith are to be visionaries and dreamers. We must see the answers before the Lord can give them to us. We must learn how to cooperate with the Lord. And, in so doing, we answer many of our own prayers. We cast down the winds that blow us to destruction. And we arm ourselves to walk against the world and the sins of the world. We put on coats of housewifery and faith and we walk into the realm of faith and anointing.

Weeping in Prayer

So Ruby is doing good as she lives from the visions of faith from within her heart. She is joyful and the children have picked up on her Joy and faith. The children are content and happy along with Mother. Ruby begins to start supper early in the evening.

Pretty soon, the phone rings and it is the neighbor telling her a bunch of gossip about Ruby’s husband. Ruby excuses herself from the call. But then the children begin to be upset and fight with each other. Satan has attacked the peace in her home. She keeps trying to keep her visions first place in her heart, but too much is happening around her to confuse her and she is falling in her faith. She longs to run to her prayer chamber and to remember the faith she had that morning. But Satan is attacking, one attack after the other one.

She cries out to God, alone in her kitchen, as she keeps trying to prepare supper. But she can’t do it. The heartache has come back and she lost her faith.

Soon the enemy comes to her in the silence of the night. Fear wells up in Ruby’s soul and she cries out in prayer after the children have gone to bed. “Oh, God. I am a sinner — please forgive me. I have lost my faith in You.” Depression begins to come as a cloud around Ruby’s bed. And she lays in despondency, numb from the day’s struggles. And the angels come to Ruby as she lays in utter hopelessness upon her unmade bed. Ruby went o sleep in her dress and apron, still trying to get her faith back. And yet she couldn’t and she lays now in despair.

Her pillow is wet with tears. She lays with her Bible across her chest. The promises of God are written on paper and are under her pillow. She wrote them down and told the Lord she would walk them out for His glory. And yet now she lays in defeat, clutching her Bible against her breasts. Her heart is broken to hold her husband once again. She is alone and cold in her marriage bed. She puts a pillow beside her to remind her of better times when her husband was there to protect her. The Lord sees Ruby and He sends His angels to minister to her and to warm her. Ruby falls asleep and then Jesus wakes her up and reminds her of the scriptures. Of the promises of God.

All Ruby can chant in her heart is, “Lord please bring my husband home.” And she chants it over and over, out of a desperate heartache. Pretty soon, there seems to be a hush in the room, a Holy silence in the night. Ruby senses the presence of the Holy Spirit. The cloud of depression seems to have lifted as Ruby fought the good fight of faith. The peace came as she struggled and slept with the word upon her heart. The Lord knew Ruby’s heart and her struggles to keep her faith alive. Yet He knew Ruby was no match for Satan. And the Lord God was moved His hand with compassion.

He came to Ruby in her cold grief and anointed her with His presence. And He anointed Ruby again to hear the word of God. He leads her beside the still waters and He restores her soul. Had she not fallen, she couldn’t have been empty enough to be filled with His Holy presence and anointing. What Satan meant for harm, God used for His glory. And the Lord filled Ruby with faith. Weeping lasted for the night but pure Joy came in the morning.

Our lives as Christian mothers live from many seasons to the next. We are empty and He fills us. And we use what He gives us, and then we are empty again, and we fight to be filled again with His Holy Spirit. But don’t be afraid of the fight. Spiritual warfare is a part of the normal Christian life. The battles come and we lose all hope. This is normal stuff. We are empty of His life in us. We struggle and struggle with a problem. But we need to rest in Him and realize we are not a match for Satan. We must quit our wrestling in the flesh and not the Spirit and realize that, without Him and His anointing, we can’t make it.

Spiritual Battles

Don’t be afraid of spiritual battles. Of the falling down and the wounds of your hearts.

You know, you can’t be any use to God if you are afraid of the battles. We overcome Satan by the words of our testimonies and the blood of Jesus and that we love not our own lives unto death. We can’t think more of our own lives than what we think of the life of Jesus Christ. And, as a believer, I arise and fall and get back up and have a few days of glory. Then I fall and lay there for a while and swear I will never write again. I am always in a spiritual battle of some kind. But I will say that the rising and falling has gotten easier over the years. And I have a lot of cushion that I never used to have.

I couldn’t write to you almost every day if my life was overcoming me. Jim, who used to nearly kill me with grief, is now my protector. He has made a warm and quiet home here for me to live in and to write in peace in. The Lord heard my prayers and gave me a precious and wonderful Christian man. Jim loves our children and grandchildren. My heart would break if he didn’t. I couldn’t write like I do if Jim was fighting with me all the time. Our home is very peaceful now. I have become something for Jim to cherish. But it all came through much weeping and prayers. Through much walking in faith when everything around me was falling to pieces. But the Lord was never late.

After Jim was healed, I was to have three more children. Then Wild Man protected me and the children and I was able to homeschool for 15 years. None of our six children are estranged from us. We have our ups and downs with them. But God has kept us all. Jimmy, our oldest, sent us a box of Christmas presents for all of the family and our grandchildren. Christian Joy also sent us a box of presents. Both she and Jimmy won’t be home for this Christmas. But we will all call back and forth over the holiday season. And the youngest four children will be with us, and their families.

We are all well and God has blessed us. God is good. But I started out in a worse place then where most of you are.

I had asked Helen on the group if she wanted me to write out how Jim was healed of a double hernia problem. Well, about 20 years ago, Jim had an operation for two hernias down by his groin? Well, in the process, the doctor comes out and tells me the operation didn’t go that well and he would have to have it done again in a few years. Well, he was to have a problem with it for the next 20 or more years. As the years went on, the hernias came back out. But Jim just wore this girdle and that helped. All except when he remodeled and moved our huge piano all over the living room. And our big china cabinet? So he comes to bed and he says, “Connie, I am really hurting and the girdle hasn’t helped. It’s pretty bad — I can barely walk.” Well, he kinda scared me because he don’t usually say that much about it.

Well, heck, we didn’t have any health insurance. So I said, “Honey, I will stay up all night and pray and God will heal you.” So I just figured, “Heck, if the Lord can’t heal him, I guess he wont get healed.” But I planned on staying up all night. I figured it would take all night in intercessory prayer. So I began. I laid my hand on the hernia, as it was just on one side that it had come loose. I barely touched the hernia and Jim’s leg flew in the air and the bed shook. I said, “What happened?”

Jim says, “Didn’t you hear that POP?”

I said, “No, I didn’t.”

Jim says, “I was healed. That thing just popped back in.” And it did pop back in and he has never had another problem with it. We finally threw the girdle away. He didn’t need it. He has never had anymore problems with that hernia now for about three or four years.

Even in the night, when I woke up, the bed would shake with the power of the Holy Spirit. I ain’t lyin’. It’s the truth!

Another Healing

Jim was having chest pains many years ago. We were in the car with the kids coming home from someplace. Jim gets out of the car and just screams at me in the front yard that he is having a heart attack. I absolutely did not receive that in my heart. I don’t do heart attacks — ain’t no way! So I looked at him dead in the eye and I said, “I have overdue library books and I am going to take them back to the library.” He handed me the car keys and I got my books and went to the library.

I had put on a good show for Satan to let him know I wasn’t about to receive a heart attack. But once I got to the library, I about had a heart attack myself. I was scared to pieces. But I wasn’t going to receive the fear Jim was handing me? I don’t do that! Jim’s fear and my fear in agreement would have been a powerful fear and it could have killed him on the spot. Talk about sweatin’ at the library? I was horrified! But I would not go back home until the fear was under control.

I finally went back home and Jim was good and fine. We didn’t even talk about it! Jim knew, when he screamed at me, that I wasn’t going to receive his fear. And when I asked for the car keys, he gave them to me. I was in submission to him.

Now we are talkin’ about the supernatural. It’s not that spooky — it’s all in the word of God. And we should live the word of God and not play it safe at church. Jesus is the healer.

And, ya know, yesterday, when Mary called about Brandon being sick, I told her, “Mary, I don’t give up on this stuff. I am long suffering. I won’t roll over and play dead. I don’t give up. I will stand by God’s grace and claim a healing for Brandon until I see His glory. I claim, even now, that Brandon is healed by the name of Jesus.” I just told Mary on the phone, as she and I wept, “I make no plans to give up.” And Mary said she wasn’t giving up, either.

And Wild Man ain’t givin’ up, either. And, ya know, the thing at the library happened about 10 years ago. Then Jim had chest pains again and we went to the doctor. This doctor screams at Jim, “You are having a heart attack — get to the hospital.” I said calmly that I didn’t have the time for such things. This doctor screams at me, “Your husband could die tomorrow and you don’t have time to go to the hospital?”

I said, “No, I am too busy for that stuff.”

Then the doctor screams at me, “Jim could die today.”

I looked at that doctor like, “You are nuts.”

Jim knew I was walkin’ in faith and he knew that doctor was gonna kill me. So Jim says, “Connie, you go wait in the car.” So I did. Jim sweet talked the whole lot of ‘em and then came out of the office laughing.

I did do some honest prayin’ that night, let me tell ya. I was horrified and definitely up in the Lord’s face about it all. I prayed until the fear left me. Then I asked the Lord what Jim’s real problem was, and the Lord told me it was a hienal hernia up in his chest. I bought that, but heart attacks are too dangerous! They kill ya?! So I called a chiropractor and told him Jim had a hienal hernia and needed an adjustment. I just went down the pages in the phone book and found a doctor. Jim had a bulge in his chest and it was where the esophagus had looped. This doctor was a wonderful, tremendous Christian man. We just love him and Jim goes to him on a regular basis. He keeps Wild Man in good shape. Also, I pray for him and he says that’s just like getting an adjustment.

Our Dr. Miers is so wonderful. Jim went in for an adjustment just after Baby died. And Dr. Meirs closed the office door after Papa told him about our loss. Jim was on the table and, the next thing Jim knew, that Dr. Miers was on the floor and on his knees praying for our family. Our doctor stopped everything in the office to pray. Now, there is a doctor we love and trust. When we first went to him, Jim was so bad off and in so much pain. When we finally got there, it was like finding Jesus. Jim looked so bad and the doctor thought I was Jim’s daughter.

A Christian Doctor

So, when we first went into Dr. Meirs’ office, we told him that we were Christians. And he told us he was, too. The doctor asked me to pray as he adjusted Jim and I did. Jim immediately began to feel better. We were so thankful for Dr. Meirs and we still are, four years later. I wrote the doctor a thank you note and told him how thankful we were for his ministry. He is a true man of God. He kept the note on his bulletin board for a long time. Jim and I send all our friends to him and so, then, Jim gets free visits for each new customer we send. The doctor only charges Jim 30 bucks a visit, anyway.

And, ya know, you can take out of this writing what ya want. It’s a full plate. God’s ways are not our ways.

And no offense concerning Heather and how I deal with her. But anyone who runs at me with fear can kiss my sweet self goodbye. I won’t mess with ‘em. God says in His word that the fearful and the adulterers will not enter the kingdom of God. I don’t allow myself to fear and I won’t put up with it in anyone else, either.

And, oh, sometimes I am on fire with fear and, when I get like this, I won’t barely do anything until I have prayed the fear off of me. Fear is a lethal weapon for Satan. It’s a cannon that you point at yourself. The Bible speaks of going out to battle and leaving the fearful behind. The fearful have no place in the army of God.

We are all tempted to fear, but don’t act on it. Don’t open your mouth about it and let the devil have your voice. Speak out of your inner man that has faith and vision and a place for God to do a miracle.

I plan on Heather seeing a miracle. Oh yeah! But I ain’t gonna stand there and let a cannon shoot me in the head, either. And, see, you all haven’t been where I have been, for the most part. I have a whole other life that someday I will share. Or maybe I will just share it on the response group. But to ignore a doctor that is screamin’ “heart attack” wasn’t the worst I have been through. That was easy. Well, no, it wasn’t. I ain’t gonna lie to ya. But I will say that God’s word is true. It is true.

God’s word will work if you believe it will. But, see, as prayer warriors, you can’t just bounce off the world when ya pray. You have to forget the world and get alone with God. And after much prayer, you get the world out of your system and then you begin to bounce off Jesus. His ways are not our ways. We can’t be moved by what we see with our eyes but only by what we believe.

When Baby died, and Mary told me on the phone that she was not breathing, I said in faith to Mary, “Mary, you will never be without Baby. She is ok.”

I thought Baby would be ok but she had, indeed, died. But Mary said later, “Mom, when you spoke out in faith, I knew Baby had already died. But it was as though your voice was an angel’s voice telling me that Chloe Faye would always be with me. I knew I wasn’t losing Chloe Faye, even though she had died.” Of course, before the ambulance came, Mary and I prayed Baby would be raised from the dead. I cried out into the phone and claimed the breath of God into Baby. I cried out for the cleansing blood of Jesus. But it is not my power but God’s that I call upon. And it is Jesus I trust in. And he gives and he takes away. Blessed be His holy name. And I have never heard Mary say one thing against he Lord for any of this. She is assured that Baby is with Jesus and I am, too.

The Lord gives us His name and His power to use for His glory. The greatest, most powerful Christians understand that it is not their power that moves mountains. They understand that the flesh is utterly hopeless but it is His power that moves mountains. Our fight of the faith is to fight to enter His rest. That place where we say Jesus is Lord over every situation.

Christians who learn who Jesus is and then trust Him are the powerful believers who see the miracles of God in their lives. They don’t bounce off friends or others opinions. They bounce off Jesus.

Dear Christmas Mothers,

I have been baking today. I made double chocolate chip cookies. I just use the recipe on the chocolate chip package. But then I put in about a fourth cup less flour and replaced this with dry cocoa. I didn’t have any eggs. So I just didn’t put any in. I didn’t substitute anything for the egg. But they turned out good.

Also, I melted some white almond bark on a cookie sheet. Then I took a hammer and broke up some candy canes until they were sugared. Then I poured this over the white almond bark. It turned out good. After it drys, you just break it up like you would peanut brittle. Martha Stewart had a recipe like this today on TV. She put Rice Krispies with hers, but I didn’t have any, so I didn’t put any in.

Yesterday, I made a sweet potato custard pie. I had some leftover sweet potatoes that I had made with the brown sugar and butter. So I smashed the sweet potatoes up with the leftover drippings of butter and brown sugar. Then I added 2 eggs and about a cup and a half of milk. Then I added nutmeg and cinnamon and beat this all up and put it in a pie shell and baked it … it is really good. Sort of like a custard, ya know? I know Annie will tease about, “If ya don’t know what to do with something, just throw eggs and milk on it. Mix it up and bake it.” Amen Sister. Amen!

Well, ya know, the old time Mothers just cooked with what they had. They usually had eggs and milk so they used them. Well, none of my chickens were layin’ eggs today. Actually, I don’t have any chickens — that’s why. Oh, good grief! I better go do something else or change the subject.

I am crazy because I am waiting for my book to come in the mail. I am crazy at night. I have told you how I scream out in the night, once in a while, and scare Jim out of his wits? Well, two nights ago, I accidentally screamed bloody murder in my sleep right into Jim’s ear. He was asleep and it scared him silly. He sat up in bed and was like in shock. Well, he thought I was good to go and wouldn’t do that again for another month or so. But last night I did it twice. He finally just got up and came out here in the living room to just get some peace.

When I got up this morning, I came out to Wild Man sitting in the chair and he says, “Ya got me again.”

I say, “Oh, Honey, I am sorry. I really am. I don’t know what gets into me.” I know I had some nightmares last night and the night before. But, good grief, the man needs his rest for work.

Jim says, “Well, ya do it about the same time at night, if you are gonna do it at all.”

I said, “I suppose at 12 midnight?” I mean, how scary is that?

Oh, I pray I don’t drive Jim nuts tonight. It’s just that I have never written a book before and I can’t wait to see it. I know this is makin’ me crazy. Jim says he is gonna really pray for me tonight so I won’t be screamin’. Talk about things that go bump in the night? How about a wife that screams bloody murder in the night? That has to unnerve a guy.

And I had just written on the meek and quiet spirit. That’s the funny part.

Dear Mothers,

Please pray for us. Mary had called this morning. Her husband Brandon is at work sick in a town near here. So she asked Jim to go pick him up. It’s slick out and Mary has to go with Jim and drive the car back home. Brandon’s car is like a bob sled — hardly no tread on the tires. But Jim will have to drive Brandon in our car and Mary will have to drive their car back home.

I called Mary just now to tell her Jim is on his way. We prayed and prayed for Brandon, as the Crohn’s is acting up again and he was in pain. I am claiming he is not in pain now, in Jesus name. I prayed for Mary on the phone. As always, she is missing her little baby Chloe Faye. She said the gravestone isn’t out there yet. There has been a delay. We prayed about that.

Mary said she and Brandon went out to the grave a few days ago. “Mom, we had to walk clear across that field in about two feet of snow.” When she got there to the grave, she said she laid down on the snow and made Chloe Faye a snow angel.

I am so glad that Baby is in heaven with Jesus and she is warm and happy. Mary writes letters to Baby when she misses her. I tell Mary, “Honey, you will have many more babies. None will take Chloe Faye’s place. But you will have many more babies.” But I think of Mary, just a child herself, making a snow angel for her baby beside the grave. I think of the wooden cross Brandon had made. It gives me Joy as I think of it. Mary laying in the snow like a little girl, making her Baby doll a snow angel.

Dear Christmas Sisters,

I am up in the night praying on this cold winter’s night. I cry out to the Lord, “Where are You, Jesus? I just long to sit with you. I don’t exactly need anything, Lord. I just need Your companionship, Your presence, Your touch. I don’t want to be with anyone except for You, Jesus.” I think of the Christmas carol “Oh come let us Adore Him.” Oh, I adore You, precious Lord Jesus.

Oh, I sense the Christmas Angels. I wonder if they are the same ones who told messages to the shepherds. Isn’t it glorious how the Angels went to the lowly shepherds in the cold night and told them the good news that Jesus was born. Just poor shepherds who were faithful to tend the sheep. The King had to hear the news off hand. But God shared His good news with the poor and faithful. Oh, the modern church calls families to give until it hurts to hungry preachers. The shepherds tending their sheep would have been looked down on by the modern church. They were poor, so of course they don’t matter. But the Lord God knew where the shepherds were and sent His angels with the good news. The Lord wanted their fellowship. He wanted their presence.

The Father searches and longs for the meek and quiet spirit to fellowship with. Jesus, as He became a man, was meek and humble before God and His commandments. Yet He was a wild eyed revolutionist concerning the world and the Pharisees that He called snakes and vipers. He was an enemy to Satan and a tender lamb toward God. The Lord God seeks the woman with the meek and quiet spirit. He marries and becomes one with the woman who has the meek and quiet Spirit.

Oh, the world and the feminist Christian call the wife and mother out of her home to do this and carry on with that. They shout to Mother at home, “Get out there and make something of yourself. Put the kids in a Daycare — that wont hurt ‘em. Lots of kids are in Daycare.” But this is not the call of God. This is not God’s voice that calls wife and mother to the streets. God calls us mothers home — at least Home. And when at Home, He calls her to her prayer chambers. He calls her to forsake the world and the teachings of the Christian Feminist.

Lately, we have had a foot of snow. And, oh, the male cardinal is so stunning with his colors of crimson red and black against the white sparkling snow. He is the glory of God! When we look at him, we glorify God who made him. God doesn’t want to hide him away in a nest. He wants to show Mr. Cardinal off in all of his glory. Pretty soon, we see Mother Cardinal. She is more dull in color. She is made like that to blend in with her nest. She is not called out … she is made like her family nest. She is the color of the branches and can hide away without being seen. She can see the world but the world can’t see her.

And we must be like her and hide away unto the Lord. Most male birds are more brightly colored than the female birds. We wives are not called out to the world to have bright outfits and to be heard in the marketplace. Our places are at home. And, in our place at home, we are queens in our palace.

Oh, 1 Peter 3 is so precious. Look at verse 5. It says, “For after this manner in the old time the holy women also who trusted in God adorned themselves being in subjection unto their own husbands.” The verse before this speaks of the adorning of the inner man which is the meek and quiet spirit. The Bible calls us women to put on a holy adorning or dress. It is not the fancy holiday earrings and fashion boots. It is a calling to clothe the inner man with meekness. The Holy women’s adorning or dress of the spirit was their submission to their husbands. As we women forsake the world and the call to the world, as we decide in meekness that our husbands are the head of us, then we become beautiful to God. We cry out to Him and He hears us. We become as a sweet smelling holy fragrance to Him.

Stress

And I realize some of you are having so much trouble with stress. You want the meek and quiet spirit but you can’t get it. We live in the world and it is hard sometimes. Just take whatever medicine you need to take. Or change your diet or whatever. But your answer also is in the inner court of your temple.

I mean, God didn’t put the scriptures in the Bible for nothing. He says that the adorning of submission to your husband is the meek and QUIET spirit. It is a holy covering of the inner woman or inner man. And the more children you have, I think, the deeper you must go with the covering of submission. As holy women of God you will not get your prayers answered without the adorning of the meek and quiet spirit.

Now, I am talking about the truth, not the so called truth of the modern church. Oh, yeah, ya see this Christian feminist and she is talkin’ about miracles and the whole 9 yards and she gets her prayers answered, supposedly. But, ya know, there are all kinds of cults out there that are coming up with miracles. Satan can perform miracles, too. But there is only one way to enter the sheep gate. There are many wicked shepherds promising all kinds of ways to heaven. Don’t enter the wicked gate. Enter the gate that has a shepherd that follows the truth of the word of God.

And, good night! I don’t pretend to have the whole truth on anything. But I can read. And some things in the Bible are clear enough for any moron to figure out. Christian feminism is not represented in the Word of God. The only women who led Christian men was Jezebel. Then you have Deborah and she wasn’t a feminist, by any means. Christian feminism is a product of our age. A man made religion. And how Benny Hinn can sit and look at Grandma Barbie doll Jan on TBN and keep a straight face is a wonder to me. I would bust out laughin’. I couldn’t help it! I mean, this Jan on there is a piece of work. She had to have a face lift and bigger boobs to win folks to Christ.

Christian feminism is floating on its own, for now. But, as the days get darker and the times get harder for the believers, these lies won’t work anymore. If you don’t have the truth, you will die spiritually.

See, the Christian woman is being pulled in every direction. The only stability she will ever have is the wisdom of God. And submission to husband isn’t the only truth here. Submission to husband also means submission to being a keeper at home. Godly submission to a husband means also to submit to the care of his home and to the care of his children and grandchildren. The home is your husband’s and you are the keeper of the home. He is the spiritual head of the home.

We as women have so much stress as we try to take on the world or a load that is too heavy for us. Then we can’t carry the burden and we become fearful and anxious and upset. Jesus says, “Come unto Me and help carry my burden for it is light and easy.” The Lord knows that we mothers and wives are the weaker vessels. We are not called to do what men do. And another part of the Word says, “Lead them gently that are with young.” Mothers with little ones have a heavy burden enough without doing anything else but to take care of the baby. If you care for the children and keep your house up for your husband, then that is a lot.

Husband has to be first, no matter what. Don’t try to make him a nurse maid or Mama’s little helper. Sure, he helps you with the children. But that is really not his job. He has work enough and burden enough to go out each day and to support his family. When he comes home to rest, then let him rest. Don’t put pressure on him to care for the children. If he does care for them, consider that a blessing but not his job. Jim helped me a lot after he got saved when the last three were young. I always appreciated that. But I never felt it was his duty as a provider and priest of the home.

The Holy Wife

The wife the Lord calls unto Himself is not the lady preacher who is in the pulpit calling men to submit to her and her instructions. The holy wife who pleases the Lord is the hidden wife and mother. She is called out from among them to be separated unto the Lord. She isn’t always close with the girls or the church ladies. But her husband thinks she is one in a million. Her children call her blessed. She is the secret garden to her husband. And she is to him a sweet smelling sacrifice.

She gives up her life that she can gain it in heaven with Jesus some day. Her Lord and Savior is Jesus Christ. She has counted the cost and not looked back to Sodom and Gomorrah. She has forsaken the world in order to please the Lord and attain eternal life. Unless we die daily and take up the cross of Jesus, we cannot enter His kingdom. And now, after we lay our lives down for Him, He may choose to use us, at times, in the world.

Ya know, I know I have told you this story before, but I will tell it again. After Jim was saved, oh, I wanted to shout it to the roof tops. But, ya know, the Lord didn’t give me the freedom in my spirit to tell the testimony. I maybe gave the testimony a couple times in a year. And then Satan would attack me like you wouldn’t believe. But I didn’t give this testimony for about 18 years? The Lord had me homeschooling and that was my ministry for 15 years. After Jim got saved, I would sit in my rocking chair and rock the baby. I would cry out in prayer and ask the Lord, “Lord, are You sure this is all I am to do, is to care for the babies here?” And the Lord told me that if I was obedient to Him, my message would go out like a holy fire all over my town. Good grief, if He had told me that my message would go all over my state, I would have died of fright. But to think it goes all over my world on the internet is mind boggling to me.

I was always the poorest woman I knew. If I didn’t want something, I couldn’t give it away, as no one wanted it. We had been on welfare, and when we went off by faith, then we had a lot less then those who were in poverty. People on welfare felt sorry for us and gave to us. The poorest of people gave us food and clothes. But I tried to be faithful to the Lord. To be honest and dutiful in the hard places. And God was watching me and leading me into His truth.

I came up the hard way. Line upon line and the word of God was my food and drink. I laid my foundation of a home for Jesus, brick upon brick of the truth in His word. See, had I not come up the hard way, I would fizzle out now. It is not easy to do what I do now. But I have learned to be strong in the hard times. And so my teachings are not built on the world or the church and its feministic teachings.

See, what I teach you is just old stuff to me, for the most part. If you were to read my old writings, you would recognize them by what I write on here. It’s been the same message for many years. The teachings I write is what I have been living on for many years. What I eat, I feed to you all. And I have been married for almost 40 years. What I teach here? It works? Had I not proved this in my own life, I wouldn’t be here now. All the glory goes to Jesus. It was all His doin’. He enjoys making a silk purse out a a pig’s ear. He chooses the foolishness of this world to confound the wise.

But, see, some of these fly by night preachers that come up with money as the answer to all things ain’t gonna last any longer than their luck. Or any longer than they can hoodwink folks into givin’ them $$. God ain’t making these preachers rich — it is people who are ignorant and have a love for $$ that are makin’ them rich. And, in the end, the preacher will go under like Jim and Tammy did. And their followers will lose their money, too. Right after Jim Baker went to prison for being a first class thief, then Tammy, bless her heart, hung on for about a month and divorced Jim.

Christian Feminism

See, the lady preachers are like stars in the sky. But they aren’t backed up or made from the truth of God’s word. They are bright and many follow them. Yet their followers are like they are. They are half baked Christians that want an easy way out. They won’t pay the price or give their lives for Jesus. They are women who won’t lay brick on brick to make a temple in the wilderness for Christ.

Joyce M. is deceived and she deceives many Christian women. Joyce’s ministry is not built on the truth of the word of God. She is a flaming star that will blaze up and receive the applause of man. The more they applaud her, the brighter she gets. As apposed to the true woman of God who lets the Lord put His hand on her, and her beauty is her meekness and her submission to her husband. The world loves all that glitters and shines. And yet the true woman of God isn’t led by the world or the things in the world. The true woman of God isn’t moved by the money she is given, or the glory.

Preacher says, “Well, I can’t preach the gospel because I don’t have the $$$.” But the true shepherd is gonna preach the word with or without $$$. God is looking for the shepherds who will feed the sheep and not stand there waiting to be paid. Preacher tells you that if you give to him you will get more $$$. Well, why don’t he give so the Lord will give him more $$$? If it’s true for the sheep, it has to be true for the shepherd.

The true believer is not moved by $$$. They are moved by the word of God. They are moved after a night in prayer and weeping unto God and then He comes to them and tells them great and mighty things. And He is their supplier and He is their provider and He is their Savior. And as this man on fire gets up off his knees, he goes out to the flock of God, he gives them Jesus Christ and Him crucified. He doesn’t give them the bread of this world. He gives them the true bread and blood and body of Christ.

Mother comes out of prayer with the breath of God upon her mouth and she kisses the family with the power of Christ. The truth she has learned in silence as the Lord told her to learn it. She didn’t take a dive. She wouldn’t go with the girls at church, even though she was lonely and afraid, concerning her own family’s future. She stayed behind, even though she had not heard the Lord’s voice in days. And she has remained lonely for His voice. But the voice of the world is nothing but more pain to her. If she can’t hear His voice, she cannot live. For He is her life, her breath, her anointing, her work.

She has taken herself out of the world. The world no longer satisfies her as it did when she was a girl, or a baby Christian. Now only “He” can satisfy her soul. If God wants to put fancy earrings on her, then she will wear them for Him. But she doesn’t have to have fancy clothes or jewelry to serve Him. She must serve Him as He is her life and she has no place else to go but to Him. Her heart pants after her Lord God as a deer pants after water. Folks warn her of coming danger but she must go with Jesus, anyway, as the Master has called her and she has no place else to go. She has learned through much suffering that, yes, He is the way, the truth, and the life. And no man comes to the Father except through Him.

Get the truth, dear Wives and Mothers, and hold the truth to your heart. And build a house of wisdom with it. And your voices of righteousness will call to eternity. You will be made of line upon line of His truth. Not just stars who shine for the applause and glory and the gold of this world.

Shine, dear daughters, shine on for Jesus for always and forever. Come out from among them and be called the daughters of truth and light. Daughters of a New Revolution. Women who can’t be bought or taken in by the gold and glory of this world.

Dear Families,

A few mornings ago, Jim and I sat at the breakfast table and visited over coffee and talked about Christmas. Jim wrote down some thoughts to share with the husbands and fathers on the group. So I will relay them.

He writes, “Always remember that Jesus is the reason for the season and that Christ was born on Christmas Day.”

He writes about his family as a boy growing up. “When Daddy was alive and we had Christmas, it was like magic was in the air. Daddy loved to sing and he did all he could to give us a happy Christmas. Dad was a Christian and a man’s man. A loving family man. Mama would bake at Christmas and make all kinds of things. She let us children pull taffy and make popcorn balls. Mama was the best cook I ever knew. She could make anything taste good. Daddy died when I was 8 years old. And that was the last Christmas I had with him. Mama was never the same. She went on to raise us children alone. But she was never the same.”

And Jim concludes, “Dear Husbands and Fathers, make this Christmas a wonderful time for your wives and children. Make every day like Christmas for your families. Connie and I want to wish all of you families represented on here a wonderful Christmas. May God bless you richly as you live in Him. Jim Hultquist. Christmas of 2005.”

P.S. Note from Connie: Jim was the twelfth of thirteen children. When his Dad died, there were six children still at home.