Well, Dot, I know I said I would write on wisdom today. Well, I almost need a vision to do that … anybody got any? I have never read anything on the wisdom of the Bible as it pertains to the homemaking spirit. So I have to get it all from the Lord. And, ya know, ya can’t very well just turn Him on and off at will. I am hoping, as I write, He will feel sorry for me and give me some wisdom.

Well, Dixie talked about it. But I am the writer and so I have tried to put her into words. And only from what I remember. I have some of wisdom on my own but not that much. But, ya know, Dixie never watched TV when she walked with wisdom, and she never had a phone. Certainly, she never had a computer. She had a radio and listened to that in the evening. Aside from that, no … she only heard the Lord … and the voice of wisdom.

Dixie’s husband Bill was a truck driver and gone a lot. So a lot of the time, it was just her and Emily in the house. But when you were with Dixie, you were always totally entertained. And Em just loved being with her mother, and just loved listening to her and working with her. Dixie was like a book of wisdom and you wanted to hear every word that came out of her mouth. I never wanted to miss anything. And I would leave her house long before I wanted to, as I wanted to be able to come back again. Emily loved me and wanted me to stay … and so she would try to keep me there and I would be trying to leave.

Oh, that Em was always such a cute little girl. And as a mom of 2 preschoolers, she is still so cute. Her husband Chris is a good husband to Emily, PTL. Em tells me, “Mom was my best friend as well as my mother. I was blessed to have her.” Emily was adopted when she was only 6 months old.

Well, Jim just got home so I have to quit. Hopefully, I can write tomorrow.

(Continued …)

Well, Dot asked me to write about Ruby and her voice of wisdom. So here I am attempting it again this morning. Boy, Dot, you know how to open up a can of worms.

I say this because the wisdom of God is so illusive. It’s like playing a violin and somehow reaching a certain tone that pulls at your soul. And you hear it and long to hear it again. But you can’t find it. It’s like a song you made up and forgot, and it was so lovely and it moved your soul and set you free. And you have tried to find that wind of inspiration again but you couldn’t. And now it is a bittersweet moment that you feel as though you will never find again. And then someone asks you to find it for them, and so you search for it again. Discouragement will take the wisdom of God right out of ya. The world will take it out of ya.

The wisdom of God is the natural revelation of God, as talked about in Romans 1. And, of course, Proverbs. I think Mother Nature is the voice of Ruby.

The wise woman builds her house. Wisdom is the stability of the times. The voice of wisdom can bring order where there is disorder in the home. It’s because the wisdom of God has nothing to do with the world and the voice of the world. The voice of feminism is what will choke the wisdom out of your heart. A woman’s home is a place of a authority for her. It is a God-given authority. We are called as women to be keepers at home. When a married woman with children leaves her home, she comes out of her place of authority and loses her authority to the world.

God plants seeds of wisdom in our hearts, but then the devil tries to choke it out with the lust of other things. Worry will keep the wisdom of God from flowing in your heart and from being fruitful. You become as a woman who can’t receive a physical seed from her husband. She may want to become pregnant, but the worry and confusion keeps her from conceiving. And in the spirit realm, the woman is to conceive spiritual seeds from God. And the main one for a married mother is the wisdom of God.

A godly woman is always fruitful, both in the physical and in the spiritual. Psalms 92:14 They shall still bring forth fruit in old age and be fat and flourishing. I think this is talking to Godly older mothers and speaks of being fruitful in the spirit and in the physical. Sarah bore fruit in her old age and, of course, she is our mother of faith. Sarah started out contentious but learned how to be a submissive wife. And she became spiritually fruitful and physically fruitful. Just think what she would have been like when she was young, had she been obedient to God.

And this is a side note, but I think women like Joyce M are like this. They are great women of faith who are misdirected because of a contentiousness toward their husbands. And they are jumping over a great teaching for women that would set them free. But pride and and lack of knowledge holds Lady Preacher in bondage. Satan has rewired these women who could have been fruitful for God.

Our world is crying out for women who have the wisdom of God. I know of it, but I have a danged hard time walking it out. If I ever figure it out, it will be my best writings. So thanks, Dot, for shaking me out of my thud? You have set me back on course and, hopefully, my sail in the wind is pointed toward the wisdom of God.

I do see in my spirit volumes of books on wisdom. They have gold pages. I pray I get that written some day. I can see this book as I write. It will be about the old time homemaking. I see a book on sewing taught by Ruby and one on washing the clothes with a wringer washer, and one on child training. I see different books written with the Wisdom of God.

“Oh, pull us back, Lord, from the world, that we will see the true riches from heaven. That we would know the wisdom of God.”

OK, as I write, I am having a picture in my mind. It is of a mother flipping from the wisdom of God to the world. She is caring for the baby and the phone rings or something distracts her. She leaves her place in the Spirit and visits with the world for a while. She flips from the leading of the Holy Spirit to the calling from the world. As she flips from one side to the other, she never holds the wisdom of God in her spiritual womb long enough for it to take hold. Worry and fear causes her to chase one spirit to the next, never settling long enough to let her seeds of wisdom take hold and grow. And some women, this is their problem of why they can’t get pregnant in the physical. They start out in the wisdom of God, then fear comes and they worry over it and chase the fear and not the wisdom of God.

“Ruby” is the name I have given to the voice that is described in Proverbs — I think about the first 8 chapters. Ruby don’t play with us women. It’s her way or the highway, let me tell ya. She won’t come to a house where a woman is contentious with her husband. Proverbs describes her. She is not the strange woman who runs about uncovered by her husband. Ruby’s voice is in the city as well as in the home. But her voice calls the women who are worldly out of the city to come back home to do their work at home. She calls us to our sewing and making crafts and cooking supper and baking a daily bread.

Today Jim and I will go to the Amish village for our anniversary. When I go into some of the stores there, it breaks my heart. Ruby calls me and I get so sober and my heart calls back to her. When I go to the grocery store there, and see all of the homemade bread the women make, then Ruby calls me. “Connie where is your homemade bread? You could do all this in your home.” And I wonder to myself, “Connie, what are you doing? How long will God stay with you on this?” And my heart is crushed as I know the Lord calls me to homemaking. And I wonder just how much longer the Lord will strive with me and put up with me.

Oh, I am into my homemaking. I made pumpkin bread yesterday and chocolate chip cookies and chili. But I have a deeper calling to wisdom and I know the Lord wants me to bear much fruit concerning the wisdom of God. But I am such a loose goose sometimes. And Jim has been out of work and wanting me to do this and that. I long for the quiet days to do my homemaking and to hear His voice. But that is not enough to have a few days here and there.

The deal is not to find the wisdom of God, as we can all find Ruby in the word of God. But the work of faith is to find Ruby and have her live daily in our homes. We need to call wisdom, or Ruby, our sister and understanding our kinswoman. Ruby needs to be our companion that we walk with daily. She is the helper, the counselor. Her voice must call us to our children and to our homemaking. Not once a week, but daily and each moment.

Her voice is clear in Proverbs. She calls us to exalt wisdom and listen to her voice. In the world, let the dead bury the dead. But we sisters of wisdom have a heavenly work to do. We must catch the voice of wisdom through reading Proverbs and let her voice dwell in us. Let the wisdom of God direct your steps and not the voice of feminism or the voice of the world. Do whatever it takes to root out the bitterness in your hearts, and let your hearts be pure and tender to follow Ruby. And in this journey, you will bear much good fruit for your families. Don’t be weary in well doing, for your shall reap it if you faint not.

Most of what is taught in these churches is a stumbling block to the teachings of God’s wisdom. And, ya know, some of that teaching has become a wicked stronghold for a lot of Christian women. I am dealing with one now that I don’t even know where to begin with. She has been in the church for years and makes no sense whatsoever. Pray that God will deliver her. And, ya know, when I write like this and look at my own sinful self, all I can say is, “God forgive me!” The Lord has been long suffering with me. And why and how do I get so far off the mark? Because I look at the world and what they are doing instead of looking at God.

The devil pesters me and tells me that I am a nut, anyway. And when my own mother asked me if she could read my book I said, “Well, Mom, it’s a bit to the edge, ya know. I don’t think like everyone else.”

And she said, “Well, you just better start thinking like everyone else.” Ya know, like I was a pervert or something. And I feel like I get in enough trouble without going full blown into the wisdom of God. But ya know what? People are fickle and they think I am a nut already. And they probably think I will get nuttier, anyway. And this life is short and we need to follow the Lord at all costs. Eternity is for a very long time? This life is but for a moment. Whatever we plan to do for God, we had better get on it, come hell or high water. And, ya know, I know some of ya think I am crazy but I have to tell ya the truth.

Some of these churches are just railroading these women away from their families. And especially at my age, near 60. These women are so lost. I have nothing to say if I don’t tell you the truth about what I see going on in the churches of today. They are for the most part a crime against the wisdom of God. And this writing isn’t for everyone. I always write to the broken and contrite heart.

OK, so I hear Ruby calling me. She is saying, “Connie, come out from among them and hear the voice of the Lord. Don’t listen to the world. Call Wisdom your sister and understanding your kinswoman. Hear the voice of wisdom. Be led by the voice of Wisdom. It is your stability and your place in God. Let the instincts in your heart lead you. Listen to the voice of wisdom in your heart. Forsake the strange women and stay away from them.”

Well, I should go pray.

I was praying before I got up this morning, and the Lord gave me the scriptures to owe no man anything except love. Ya know, in Christendom, we think we owe the other believers a lot more than what God thinks we owe them. Our families and our duties here at home must always come first.

We as housewives and mothers who stay at home are to be dutiful at home first. The husband must come first and then the children. We as mothers should live quiet holy lives. We will never be rewarded by God for good works we do that God didn’t call us to do. We should show a pattern of good works here at home. And if our neighbors need us, then we should pray and try to meet this need. But we meet this need out of a foundation of a pattern of good works and honesty toward our own family.

This thing about “Well, I can’t stand the kids and my husband anymore, so I am going to go over and help the lady next door with her family.” Girl, what you have, you shouldn’t spread around. Stay home and get right with your own family, and then bring your peace to the lady next door. Speak out of your husband’s authority and not your own. Your own nest is your place of peace and rest, and is the rest for everyone who knows you. Get it right at home and then do your good works out of your husband’s covering. I try to never do anything outside of Jim’s covering. If I get mad at Jim, you can bet your last piece of hide I wouldn’t be here writing on this machine.

These Bible studies with women getting together to pray and try to find out their gifts, and all this stuff outside the family, is a bunch of foolishness. It’s cock and bull stories, at best. And, ya know, folks think I am radical? And what I am teaching has been going on for 1000’s of years. It’s all this pie in the sky stuff that’s just come along in about the 80’s, full force, that is radically ridiculous.

I mean, everybody knows, who has any sense, that if a woman has a baby, she is to take care of it? She is to make a home and let her husband shelter her so that she can give all of her time to her baby. Now, of course, some women, like Tiff, have to work as the husband has deserted them. But her heart is home and her children know this. But, ya know, even a chicken looks after her own brood. Animals love their babies. But the Bible talks about one of the animals that doesn’t look after their own and the word says that this bird has no wisdom. Is it the ostrich? I can’t remember. But we as women are made in the image of God and are not animals. We as women of God need to put our own families first. We need to be prudent to raise our children to know the Lord. We should release our gaze from the world and look inward to the family.

Yesterday, we had Baby Rose to care for. Jim was doing yard work and talking to his little girl through the screened in door here in the dining room. I was cooking and Baby was making messes. Grandpapa always tells Baby what a joy she is and how much he loves her. When she knows she is coming to see us, she just squeals with Joy. She loves us and we love her. Having 6 of my own children, I don’t feel complete at times until I have a child in the house. Having 6 children was the greatest joy of my life. And one reason I have been so free to love family is that I have never had a lot. But it took me years to let the world go and turn inward to the work of home and family.

I was the example to Jim — I put family first and then he did. And this man, who ran the earth like a heathen, finally proved himself a man by taking care of his family. He went from being a heathen to a Christian gentleman. And in the civilized world, this is what a man of God is … he is one who has a soft heart toward wife and children. The hard heart is the heart of divorce and separation.

And, ya know, in Romans 1, the word of God speaks of natural revelation and then special. But it means that you have a natural revelation of God as you look at His creation. Then, when you understand this, you come to Christ. But if a person doesn’t have a natural or common sense revelation of God, then how can they come to Christ? Well, in the Christian church, folks think you can jump over the natural and go on to know Christ. And this is why we have such perversion in the church. Many Christians are missing the forest for the trees. How many times do you see a female bird lay her eggs and fly away and go to another nest and forget her eggs? Nature is to teach us a natural revelation or understanding of God. But the Bible says that if we reject the natural, we will be deceived and fall into judgment. And then God will give you over to your own lusts. If you reject what is right in front of you about God, then how can you understand anything else about Jesus? You can’t!

I mean, in the heathen countries, everything is out of family order. The order of the family is the order of God. Husband is to be under God and we as wives are to be under our husbands. Our deepest affections should be for God and family. The wife should honor her man as the head of the house.

Some of the men on this group are not saved. But they are learning the ways of the family. They are learning to support the family. And this is the first step in a man’s life to come to the real Savior and Lord Jesus Christ. A man who doesn’t work and care for his family has denied the faith and is worse than an infidel. No Christian man is gonna sell his wife on the street. No woman with children should have to work. Or a woman who is married, for that matter. In this day and age, with all of the sex abuse and crime, a married woman shouldn’t have to be out fighting this stuff. Her emotions shouldn’t have to take the beating they have had.

Most of the women I know are nervous wrecks … it shouldn’t be that way. We can come into a rest in God and it comes through being domesticated and homebound. We are not the strange women who run from house to house looking for peace. The married woman should be at home. Our gifts are to make a home with homemade soup on the stove and lovin’ from the oven. I get so mad at these old biddies that put fear in the hearts of the young married wives and mothers. The young ones can’t even have a baby without the older women nagging them and chiding them. It’s a shame, and they call themselves Christians. They kill the young woman’s womb with fear and kill children daily. They ain’t Christians and will die in Hell for the hell they have caused their young daughters.

Our little grandson Romeo is age 3. Oh, my, the things that come out of his cute little face. His mom calls him a little banshee sometimes. Well, he was introduced to his Grandma Cindy’s friends and he said, “Oh, they are all a bunch of banshees.” Gram Cindy thought he said “They are all a bunch of bitches.”

Oh, poor Christine and Johnny were so embarrassed. And that boy just gives his mom and dad fits. They even get embarrassed in front of Jim and me. But I told John and Christine, “Ya know, don’t be embarrassed in front of us. We know kids and what they are liable to say. Our first son Jimmy was the same way.” But I said, “Romeo Paul is our baby, too. And whatever is the matter with him, we will help you guys with him. We are his family and we will help you. We love him and nothing he would do would make us mad.” Ya know, in other words, it’s no one’s business — we will, as a family, take care of it. All children get ornery, especially little boys. But the family needs to gather around them and pray for them and shelter them until they are ready to be out in society. No, we don’t want our children wise crackin’ to our friends and neighbors. But they are little and need to be trained.

And, ya know, Kim, I have thought about you, so worried about owing your folks money. Well, I was the same way. We owed my folks money when the kids were all young. Well, what was I gonna pay them back with — my good looks? Well, I knew that wasn’t gonna happen. We had to borrow money to keep the family going. But I was so embarrassed and so distraught over it. And it was only about 800 bucks. Good night! We have loaned just one son alone $800 and he has never paid us back. Jim finally said for him to just forget it … it wasn’t worth worryin’ over. And I mean, we are poor people. And Dan bought the most expensive car he could find and Jim cosigned on it. Jim has had good credit for years but not now. Once the car went ca-put, so did the payments from Dan. We needed to get a loan later on and couldn’t get one because of Dan. But, ya know, we figure Dan will wise up one of these days and do what’s right. He’s family and can’t get away from Mama’s praying. Jim has sure gotten after him about paying his bills.

Well, ya know, now we don’t think a thing about it. We figure that someday, we may need the help and the kids will help us in the same way we helped them. It’s family, ya know? Forgive, forget, and go on.

And, ya know, after baby’s funeral, Mary and Brandon were about to get the water turned off. Brandon hadn’t worked in a week and a half. I had some of my birthday money and Christmas cash put back in my purse to buy something special. I asked Jim if I could give it to the kids, and he said “Yes.” When I gave it to them, they were, first of all, shocked that Mama had that much money saved back. “We will pay ya back, Mom,” they said. And Brandon and Mary always do pay us back. But I said, “No, this is my birthday and Christmas present — to be able to help you guys when you need it.” I felt it was the very LEAST I could do to help these two precious grieving parents. It’s all family. And what goes around comes around. And when Mary and Brandon heard we were so low on groceries, they brought over a huge ham that someone had given them and also a small package of turkey. That is the biggest ham I have ever seen.

But, ya know, if I didn’t stay here as keeper at home and was out working with my long false fingernails, I wouldn’t be giving my precious children a place to fulfill my needs. But I stay vulnerable and serve my children with an open hand and heart. And I am thankful when they return and give back to Jim and me. That’s just family … just old time family living.

Kim, be at peace. You will eventually pay your mom back.

The grandmother should be an example of love and peace and domestication. She is older and should have some maturity on her. Enough to let her older kids fall, like mine have, and make mistakes. And she should be there to help ‘em back up when they fall. And she needs to be open and stay needy enough to accept the love and provisions her children, in their stage of life, can give her. She is to always be the example of godliness and family order and love. And, most of all, submission to her husband.

Grandmother must have a heart of love and compassion for her children, at whatever stage they are in. Kids make mistakes but its all to be covered by Mother’s love, prayers, and faith. The family needs to continually shelter and cover the least among them until they can get back up. However long it takes and whatever it takes. This is being a Christian and acting out our salvation in Christ.

I often think about the Little Red Hen story when I think of the virtuous woman. The Little Red Hen was always prepared and, when the fox attacked her and put her in his bag, she wasn’t afraid. She just took out her little sewing scissors from her pocket and cut her way out of the bag. Well, ya know, there is so much fear around us. We get so distracted with it. The fear just causes us to run out of our homes and we want to take up our time doing things that don’t matter.

Right now, we live in troubled times. We must be as wise women, especially now, and build our homes upon the rock. We must let wisdom be our stability. See, the fear in the world attacks many of us, whether we know it or not. The earth has been hit with much fear and devastation and we are bound to feel it, whether we know it or not. But we must back up from the fear and get into our homemaking and study peace. We women are the weaker vessels and we are made to be homemakers. We must stay in submission to our husbands, especially now.

We are Sarah’s daughters as long as we don’t fear with amazement. Sure, hard times have hit our country. But the thing of it is, we aren’t of this world. This isn’t the end for us. We are on a different mission than what is out there. We are mothers called of God to do a work. And we can’t be distracted. We are in the Lord’s army. He has a place for us. We must stay in rank and order. And we must not pull rank out of fear. We have been given the commands to be keepers at home. We are called to care for the children and to keep our households from going under.

As Grandmother and Mother and wife, I set a certain standard. The older kids ain’t here all the time but they watch Jim and me. When John had to take a cut in pay to get a job here in Iowa, his wife Christine says, “Oh, Johnny, that ain’t nothin’. Praise the Lord!” It was scary, as everyone looked at me like, “Oh, no, Mom, you rubbed off on her.” And when Christine got the house they loved, she said, “Well, ask and you will receive.” It’s all hilarious to me as I see my children come to Christ.

I was praying over Romeo, age 3, in the living room, as he had a fever. I prayed for his healing and also I prayed, “Lord, give Romeo ears to hear what the Spirit of God has to say.”

Romeo’s mom Christine was walking by and she somehow caught my prayer. She started to scream out, “My ears are burning! My ears are burning!” Mary was here and just smiled, knowing her Mama’s prayers had hit Christine instead of Romeo. One time, I was praying over Jim in the living room and Mary was primping in the bathroom, and the power of God hit her and nearly knocked her over. Well, my family knows I am one to cut loose into prayer over anything. As long as Jim don’t care if I pray out loud in the house, then it’s OK. But prayer is our weapon of warfare and we have to use it.

We have to trust God with our lives and with our families’ lives. And what we do as parents and grandparents matters. We have to stay on course and bloom where we are planted. And, ya know, if we fear the devil and all the stuff going on in the world, then it is passed down to our children and to our husbands. Our lives as wives and mothers and grandmothers has to say, “I am not afraid. God is in control and all is well.” We Grandmothers must be wives and mothers of faith. We need to be strong enough for our kids to bounce off of us without us falling to pieces. And we can’t get this inner strength from watching the Fox News and all the evil in the world through the TV News. All that is is half truths, anyway.

Ya know, Joan of Arc changed her country as she listened to another voice — not one of this world, but the voice of God — and she led her country to victory. She was young and single … not married. But we married women can change our nation, too, as we listen to the voice of God. We must listen to the Lord with the ears of our hearts. The spirit of God within us is not fearful.

1 Peter 3 speaks of the meek and quiet spirit. This was Sarah’s beauty. It wasn’t her outward adorning of dress that made her beautiful … it was a Spirit of God in her. And the reason she was beautiful is because she was a submissive wife. Verse 5 is a favorite of mine. It reads, “For in this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands.”

Many women are in subjection to the pastors of their churches or to other women. But they must be in subjection to their own husbands. In this fearful world, God calls holy women who love God to come under her husband’s authority. This is the order of the Lord. And, yes, be in subjection to your pastor, if your husband has called you to a certain church and husband is learning from a pastor. But don’t jump over your husband’s authority in your home and run off to church without your husband. Let your husband be the spiritual head of your home. Then submit to the pastor or church your husband has led you to. If you are uncomfortable with the church your husband has led your family to, then pray about it and give it to the Lord. But to jump over your husband’s authority and to run off to get under another man’s authority is a wicked thing to do. Also it will divide the family.

Hannah followed her husband to Eli who was a wicked priest. But God used Eli in Hannah’s life because Hannah was obedient to her own husband. Hannah was able to change her country by giving a disobedient priest her son Samuel, her first son. Hannah was a wife and mother of faith who listened to God with the ears of her heart.

See, the TV News is all about the problems in the world. God’s voice is all about the answers to the problems. Each of us Keepers at Home has a place in God, and we can be an answer as we walk in obedience to Him. Just pray and tell the devil, “No, devil, I won’t listen to you and the fear in this world. I am from another place and my true home is heaven.” Tell God, “Lord, I will listen to your voice — the voice of faith.” We need to shut out the world in our homes and walk with the Lord in peace and rest. We have to listen to God and quit listening to the world and their fear.

So many people are on nerve pills, and this is not God’s will. We need to have sound minds. God has not given us the spirit of fear but of love, power, and a sound mind. The meek and quiet spirit is the spirit of a sound mind. Women who tell me, “Oh, yes, I submit to my husband” but they are a nervous wreck? No … that doesn’t add up. The woman who is in submission to her husband is not afraid or unsound in her mind. And the Bible means submission to husband is submission to everything the Bible says concerning husband. Such as being the keeper at home. Being a gentle caring mother to the children.

We married mothers are not cut out to be cure alls for the whole world. We have a calling as keepers at home. And, as we are obedient in this place, God can use us to change our country. We don’t have to see all and know all to change our world. We, as one woman, can change our world through prayer.

Suzanna Wesley was an obedient wife and mother and, through her sons, revival came to England. What she taught her children in private, they shouted to the housetops … to the world. Out of her 19 children, 9 died. Man, I would have died with ‘em, knowing me. She was left with 7 daughters and 3 sons. And her 3 sons brought revival to England.

And, ya know, Suzanna Wesley’s husband was in debtors prison most of the time, so he wasn’t even home. But she was obedient to run the house while he was gone. I can’t imagine caring for 10 children, working through the grief of losing 9 children, and still teaching the remaining children the word of God. She home schooled her children, as she couldn’t afford to send them to school. She taught them everything she knew. And the way I understand it, she didn’t even understand being saved by grace. She taught her children the laws of God. And later on, after her sons were grown, they led her to understand the saving grace of Christ. But she taught her children what she knew. The truth she had, she taught. But what a woman of sorrow … and yet she didn’t give up. And in her obedience to God, she raised sons who changed the world.

I have a LOOOOOONG ways to go to even come near Suzanna Wesley. But if we wives and mothers want some revival in our country, then we need some mothers like Suzanna.

And ya know … the way God made us in the beginning? Well, each area that people lived in was like a small community. Because there was no TV or much of a way of carrying news, folks didn’t even know what was going on in other parts of the world. I mean, they didn’t even know what was going on with folks a hundred miles away. I think Jesus only traveled in about a 3 mile area when he ministered as an adult. But He changed our world. I feel that we are having nervous attacks because we hear on TV news about hundreds and thousands of people dying. The average person in the beginning never heard about all of this. I mean unless there was a war or something. But in most villages and towns, folks only heard of maybe 10 deaths in their lifetime. And during any of the wars we have had in our country, it was never on TV and play by play action.

In my day, it was considered bad taste to tell a mother in the home any gory stories that would upset her and her children. Mothers and the children were always guarded from horror stories. Everyone knew that if mother was to become frightened when she was pregnant, she could lose her baby. Mothers with a houseful of children were put up on a pedestal, and folks around them tried to help them with their children.

The truth is not what is on TV, anyway. The truth is what the Lord tells you when you shut the TV off. And some of you have precious loved ones fighting for our country. And you, most of all, need to shut the TV off and listen to the voice of God. Our Jimmy was in the service when Iraq and Iran were fighting. He has many medals of honor. We are so proud of him. But, as mothers, we must turn our hearts unto the Lord and hear His voice with the ears of our hearts.

God is seeking the earth for mothers who will depend on Him and He alone. The faith of one woman can change the world.

I feel that, if any man is a true Christian gentleman, he wouldn’t tell a mother all about the gory war stories. And I know the Lord Jesus is a gentleman and He wants we mothers to be calm and to take care of the baby … and run the home in courage and faith. And some of you women may think this writing is nuts. But who is minding the baby is what I want to know. There is a job in the home to do. And who is doing that? Let the men run the war and let us women run the home in peace and rest and anointing.

I hear all this political stuff about we as Christians need to run the world. Well, we run the world, anyway. But, ya know, back in Jesus’ day and on, the Christians never ran the world. Why are we as believers trusting in horses and chariots now? Our strength has always been in the Lord and His power. I realize that the Fathers of our country were believers. But I don’t think so now … we are in another era now. We have to try to understand the times and seasons our country is in.

Jim and I are up this morning waiting for John’s family to get here. They were to leave Missouri last night after he got off work at 2:00 A.M. So we are listening for them. They are coming just for the weekend to look for an apartment and jobs. Then they will move here the first of November.

I have been as busy as a one armed fiddler lately. My book came in the mail and I had to proofread it and all. So when I get a quiet moment I do that. Then I will send it all back to Sharon and she will have some printed up. I am such a poor judge of my own writings. Sharon is young with 5 children still at home, so I know she has picked the writings that mean a lot to her. So, in this way, I know the book will minister to a lot of homemakers. I am never satisfied with what I write. I always think it isn’t hard hitting enough. I guess I am not hard hitting enough. So reading my own book, I am not a good judge of any of it. But it puts me out there and introduces me to the world.

Sharon did a good job on the book and worked so hard on it. I praise the Lord that someone thinks someone would like to read my book. Imagine all the editing Sharon had to do. All the shuds and cuds, nites and lites she had to change, and a lot more words spelled in hillbilly. Translating my book into English was a job in itself. Sharon is a brave woman to take this ole girl on. And last I heard, she is still standing. Whew!

Anyway, that’s what I have been doing is reading my own writing and getting scared. I think as I read, “Oh my gosh! I said that?” And then I console myself with, “Well, if Sharon liked it, it must be OK. After all, she is normal and I am not.” I don’t have a normal bone in my body. Well, with my life as it is, how can I BE normal? But, hopefully, I can get my book sent back to Sharon in the next few days and she will have them printed.

So I am walking around shaking in my boots and trying to cook, clean, and minister to the family.

Jim got a job but it won’t start for a while. So I am walking by faith. I am praying for stuff like instant tea. Char brought some over last night. I said, “I was praying for some instant tea.” She said she almost didn’t bring it but went ahead. Well, with the family here, I need it, as they drink iced tea all year, even in the cold weather.

We have the gas heat on, as we don’t have the money for the kerosene. But we are making it, huh? I mean yes, we are. “Oh, Connie, sit up straight and act like ya know something. You ARE MAKIN’ IT.” And in the middle of it all I am writing a book? Well, I can’t believe it.

I made up a bunch of homemade bread and I have plenty of pasta and will make spaghetti for the kids today. I will make it with Sloppy Joe mix. Well, it will be a bit sweet? But a lot of the kids will be here for supper and I just want plenty of it, whatever it is. Char brought me some Italian dressing, too, and I will make a pasta salad. I still have a lot of veggies from the garden, and my herbs, and this will make a mean pasta salad. Oh yeah! And my kids get such a kick out of me and Jim and how we do things. So if nothing else, the kids will be full of pasta and entertainment, for sure. Having enough nerve to do what I do with a straight face is the hard part.

I had made homemade potato soup last evening for Papa. And I had about 2 cups of it left over. Char had given me a package of broccoli cheese soup, and I will mix this with the potato soup and have a big pot of good soup. But the kids will think it is a riot to eat cheese soup with their spaghetti and the pasta salad. Well, they can eat whatever they want. I will just put it out. With the homemade bread, no one is gonna go hungry. I should make a dessert, but my kids aren’t a lot into sweets.

As I type, Papa is walking the floor smokin’ cigs. And my worst nightmare would be that wild man would run out of smokes. Then the lid on the house would fly off, God save the Queen!

Well, so now that I am done being silly and twisting your ears, I would like to say something serious. And what that is I don’t know. I don’t know where I am with the Lord. I guess I am in that human state that I don’t know what to do next. My life will never be the same after Mary’s baby Chloe died. I just don’t know how to live, I guess, after that. I still grieve for the baby. “Oh, Lord, so when does the hurt stop?” And yet, the living need me and I must go on in God.

But, Dot, your words ring in my ears, “Please tell Phillipa you are human.” Well, I thought I had let you all know this many times. I have learned how the pioneer mothers lost their babies on the trail, buried them on the prairie, and went on. They did it like I am doing it, with much sadness and much wondering if I will make it. With a weakness in their souls … they never will forget the lil baby that died. And being Grandmother, it is a double heartache, as I have to watch my own daughter — my own baby — suffer it out. She vomits with grief.

How can I forget this? I never will. But I will learn to live with it as I go about, doing what I have to do. The hurt never goes away, but you learn to carry it better, I guess.

And, ya know, I think of the mothers that very casually kill their babies. It seems so unbelievable to me.

And ya know, I did get some wonderful news last week. Jimmy, our oldest son, called us and said, “Mom, guess what? Aleks is pregnant.” Jimmy will be 39 in December.

I said, “Jimmy, quit tellin’ tales.” I thought he was kidding! Aleksondra is 30 and has been going to college to be an English professor. I didn’t know if she would ever be pregnant. But, PTL, she is … and loving every minute of it. God is good and never gives up on us.

Well, I had better run.The kids aren’t here yet, so I should read some more of my book, as I want to get it back to Sharon.

Thought I would share my Peach Custard Pie recipe that I made a few days ago.

Well, its been very interesting around here lately. Jim still isn’t back to work. Oh, God save the queen!! My neighbor, Miss Charlotte, and I sat and laughed away the afternoon yesterday. Well, it didn’t cost anything. Jim was game to let me get away with it, so I did.

Char’s grandmother came from the Old South. She has been in heaven for many years now. And Char told me stories her Grandmother told. She was a woman of dignity and respect. She was widowed and had lost a lot in the Civil war. But no one could take her dignity. One thing she used to say to Char was, “Charlotte, some folks, when they get money, get a bit tacky.” The family name was everything. Many of the Southerners kept the old plantations, even though they were in bad shape, as this was the family home and no one wanted to move. Char’s mother is 86. And she said that, as a child, she had many Negro friends. They were always allowed in her yard to play, but Char’s mother couldn’t go in their yard to play.

But as we old gals sat in the yard under the tree — and me still in my flowered blue apron — Jim was hauling things out of the house to sell in the front yard. Stuff like his golf clubs that he barely got to play golf with, anyway. And his tiller and his chain saw. I’ts hilarious to me because things are not this bad yet. I prayed that if the Lord didn’t want these things to go, they wouldn’t sell, and no one even looked at any of this stuff. But the work of it all kept Jim busy and me laughing with Miss Charlotte, in my long dress and apron, under the maple tree.

What’s funny is that in the midst of it all, I am writing a book. And it should be here today for me to read it and OK it and send it back to Sharon to have it printed. And ain’t life grand!

But Char’s message to Jim and me both was that a person can be poor, but no one should take your dignity. And, ya know, I am not what my money represents. And neither is Jim. Miss Charlotte encouraged me saying, “Connie, if I was really rich, I would love you because you are interesting.” Last evening, just before I went to bed, Miss Char called and told me that she bought 20 croissants at the bread store for 6 bucks. Her husband Jay said that she would take him to the poor house. Char said that at least she would have something good and French before she left.

What a funny day was yesterday. Papa settled down and Brandon and Mary paid us back 50 bucks of what they owed us. So another day and another dollar. We will arise out of this pit, ya know? One way or the other. And in the midst of it all, Miss Connie will be a poor but rich smarty pants who wrote a book.

Oops! I forgot to tell you about my peach custard pie.

PEACH CUSTARD PIE

Well, ya know, when I made this pie, I was thinking of Annie who says, “Connie throws milk and eggs on everything.” I wanted to make a peach pie for Jim and I had a big can of peaches. But I still didn’t have enough peaches, so I decided (like Annie says) to throw milk and eggs on it. So I made 2 peach custard pies.

I don’t remember the measurements, ya know. But I think I took, like, about 2 cups of milk and beat about 3 or 4 eggs in it and put in a cup of sugar. Also a tsp of vanilla and some cinnamon. I had rolled out dough for the bottom of 2 pie pans. Then I distributed the drained peaches evenly into the 2 pie pans. I sprinkled maybe a handful of flour over each pie pan of peaches. Then I poured the milk and egg mixture over the peaches. Then I just baked them … at about 375º I think. Well, I always go up and down with the heat as I check ‘em, so I guess the average heat would be about 375º. I dunno.

God help us when this peasant woman gives a recipe! Well, I can’t help it, as I don’t use recipes most of the time, as I just cook from what the heck I have. And peaches were the order of the day, by golly, and that’s what I used. Jim ate half the pie as soon as it cooled and he loved it.

We are having guests this morning for coffee and I have applesauce, and I will probably make applesauce coffeecake. And, of course, we will have coffee. I have some coffee creamer and I told Jim I feel rich. Jim invited an old friend of his over and his precious wife, Barbara. I don’t know her that well but I have enjoyed the little time I have known her. I hope to get to know her better today. But we will have a fun time, as both Lee and his wife have a good sense of humor.

And then Saturday morning, John and his family will be coming from Missouri. They plan to move down here in November. But they are coming Friday to look for work and a place to live. My darling daughter-in-law, Christine, says that she knows we need her and Johnny here. I know our love for them is drawing them to us. I told Romeo Paul, who is 3, that I need him here and he has taken that seriously.

I haven’t hardly seen Baby Rose, as they have been without a car and Tiff’s sister is watching the baby. I miss my Rose and she often calls for me. Tiff calls and lets her hear my voice and we talk on the phone.

Yes, it is a sad time for our families and yet, God is with us, and it is no time for us to lose our dignity in God. We aren’t who our money says we are, or our lack indicates. We are who we are in God with or without money. Our courage and dignity is what makes us rich in this world. Actually we are who we are inside when we lose our earthly possessions.

Oh, we mothers have to go along with the Lord. We don’t know the whole picture. But we must walk in faith and courage. Knowing we are who we are, with or without what the world says about us. If we aren’t rich without money, we won’t be rich with money, either. Because money shouldn’t effect who we are as Christian wives and mothers.

We can be as the old and wise mothers of long ago who learned, in every situation, to be content and thankful.

Well, life goes on, huh? Well, ya know, Jim had the job selling pizza but we had to use our car. So he gets this other job where he can drive their car and sell pizza. Little did we know the place charges the customer for delivery, so the driver makes very little in tips. Plus they only gave Jim 12 hours a week to work. So we thought we had this other job lined up yesterday where he would make good tips and we could keep on living this dog and pony show. Last night, we found out that the guy who was supposed to quit so Jim could have the job didn’t wanna? So now we are officially without any job.

I got up this morning and am drinking a can of pop … it’s the last one in the fridge and I have to do it. My life is so comical, and I have to live it, so I deserve the last can of soda pop. Why I should worry about this I will never know. I live over a blazing fire on a regular day. Well, the Lord does come through for us and I hope sincerely that He has a plan up His sleeve for today.

Ya know, when I was a young believer, I would watch all those evangelists on TV. Well, some of ‘em were good, ya know? But they would say on there, “If ya really wanna know what God is doing, send us 50 bucks for my new book.”

I always thought, “Well, so much for that — I don’t have 50 bucks and will never know what all the Christians know who have 50 bucks.” Now I see those books at garage sales by the hundreds and they sell for 25¢. But I know, back when I was young, I thought “Man, ain’t no way I will ever know anything, as I am forever poor.” Well, now, many years later, I get to know something for 25¢ … as the $50 books are now a quarter. So now I can afford to know something. Sooo, now, ain’t we proud of me? But, ya know, we go on, right? We whistle in the dark and keep on doing what we know to do.

Just stopped writing and made Papa some coffee. I snuck my pop back into the fridge.

I sat in the living room with Jim to sort of cheer him on. But I looked into his eyes and I see he has another plan in mind. I can tell by the look on his face he hasn’t given up. And thank God!!!! I can tell by his countenance that he is getting ready to cross another river. I said to him, “Papa, what do you want for me to make for you today?” I was wishing to make him a pie but with what, I don’t know. I have a big can of peaches — I may make a peach pie. Well, whatever I make, I hope it’s good.

At this point, I think I would just give up, but I see a shine in wild man’s eyes. He ain’t givin’ up and I won’t, either. And for cryin’ out loud! I am rich. I still have a half a can of pop in the fridge and it ain’t lost its bubbles yet. And if push comes to shove, I can scrape up another dollar and hitchhike to the Dollar Store and get another 6-pack of fake Pepsi. Life is Grand!!!

And about this time, some joker will come to my door with a barrel of grapes and, trust me, I will make something with ‘em. (And you be quiet, Annie.) Chuck, the one I won to Jesus years ago, is a preacher now and sometimes brings me grapes about now. He will say, “Don’t tell me what you are gonna do with these. I don’t wanna know.” So I am just real nice and I just smile. Of course, I am gonna make jelly. One of my favorite pies to make is grape pie … they are so delicious.

And ya know, if Papa ain’t givin’ up yet, then I won’t, either, by golly. And I am going to make Papa a nice pie. Catch ya later!